If you're already in my reader group on Facebook-CiaraShayee's Subconscious-you'll already have seen this, but for those who haven't...
Grab your floaties and get ready to support our little family, because the waves of hope are about to get real bumpy.

Waves of Hope

The doctor's office always makes me nervous. It doesn't matter if I'm here for myself, Edward, or one of the boys, I always get the jitters.

It's worse this time, my subconscious cruelly reminds me as the nurse calls me back, because last time, we left here heartbroken.

After the usual height and weight checks and a blood draw, I'm moved into another room where I change into a paper gown before Edward joins me. I gingerly climb onto the bed in the center of the room, and his brows are drawn together and his lips in a tight line as he sits on the edge of the seat right next to me, scooting it closer so his knees bump the bars on the side.

Gripping my hand tight, he tells me he loves me more than anything, that whatever the outcome today, we have each other and our boys.

I know he's right, I do, but my racing heart is still selfishly wishing for more.

Sympathetic, because she was here last time, too, the nurse gives my free hand a squeeze. "I've been praying for you."

I'm not religious, but her confidence inspires mine, and I smile shakily. "Thank you."

As she steps out, Dr. McCarty steps in. He flashes us a smile and his blue eyes stand out so starkly against his jet black coiff that I stare a moment too long. "How are you feeling today, Bella?"

"Um, good." Blowing out a trembling breath through my nose, I try to relax. "I'm okay."

"Good! Now, any symptoms? Any nausea, aches and pains, unusual tiredness?"

Shooting Edward an apologetic glance—because he's the one who's been dealing with me these last few weeks—I nod. "Uh, all of the above."

Dr. McCarty chuckles, sitting his big frame on the little stool as he gets everything set up. "They're all good signs, but you know that," he reminds me with a cheeky wink that settles at least some of my nerves.

Turning a little more somber, he reads something in the notes in front him before twisting the screen away from my view. I sigh with relief, glad the nurse passed along my request. "Okay. Let's take a look, shall we?" he says softly.

Having a man perform an internal ultrasound isn't painful but it is uncomfortable with Edward sitting right beside me, still as a stone but very much present. I unconsciously hold my breath, my gaze trained intently on Edward's pretty green eyes. They're full of his hope and nerves; the same as mine, I'm sure.

"Oh!" Dr. McCarty suddenly says, his voice higher than normal.

My teeth sink into my lip. I'm afraid to look at him, afraid to see the expression on his face. He's no good at hiding it.

I knew what he was going to say the last time because the sympathy was etched in his features for all to see.

I don't want to see it this time.

"One, two…"

He's counting?

"Edward, Bella...could you just excuse me a moment?"

He doesn't wait for us to answer. He's up and out of the room before I can drag my focus away from Edward's increasingly pinched expression.

We wait in silence for one minute, then two. The small room closes in on me as we wait, sweat beading on my neck.

What—

The door swings open again, Dr. McCarty accompanied by another doctor. I recognize her. She's—

"Dr. Senna is just going to check something," Dr. McCarty says. I don't know what to think of his ashen face and wide eyes, so I look at Dr. Senna instead, my fingers squeezing Edward's so hard they're as white as Dr. McCarty's face.

"Hi, Bella," she says with a gentle smile, but her tone is troubled. "Do you mind…?"

"Umm, hi," I croak, so worried I don't want to ask what's going on. "No, it's...it's fine."

Edward's entire body is rigid as she gets herself set up, the screen still facing away only this time, there are two doctors with their faces peering closely at it. I can't bring myself to look at what I suspect is there, an empty black hole, so I tune out the doctors murmuring frantically to each other and soak in Edward instead.

My sweet, loving Edward.

I wish I could do this for him. I wish I could give him another child. I wish—

"Wait." His lips are moving, his brows so high they're almost in his hairline. "What did you just say?" He swallows hard, so hard his throat visibly bobs. Fear and shock are the overriding emotions pouring off him now, but I don't understand either of them.

"There are how many?"

Book Two in the Jackson Bay series coming soon...