Chapter 12

…

"You lost."

She managed to slowly roll over, and now lay on her back. "I know."

"You really have become weak."

She mustered a strained, weak chuckle. "Guess so, if losing to Jaune 'Vomit boy' Arc is anything to go by."

"Well, at least finally, I won my first fight," He said, or perhaps it was an attempt at being humorous, but their lips didn't as little as twitch. At first at least, before her lips curved into a wry ghost of a smirk.

"Now that just sucks. Being the first one to lose to you," She said, but he didn't answer. Just glanced at her, and she then glanced back. Just that. A blank stare with no truths to uncover. Before he blinked, and suddenly, there was something to uncover deep in his blue.

"I'll ask you again. Should I leave?"

"You can't."

"I don't mean to Haven. Just leave."

"Do you even want to, anymore?"

He gave it a thought, and now that his mind wasn't just a grim fog unlike some minutes ago, the answer came quickly to him.

"No."

"So there you have it."

"But would you want me to leave?"

"Yea."

"…Do you hate me?"

"I do," She said with an even, calm voice. And then took a deep breath, audibly exhaled, and fixed her eyes into the clear night sky. "Or rather, I hate the part of me that I see in you. That sad, pathetic failure which has given up on the world," She said, and her voice cracked for a brief, barely tangible moment. Thereafter, blinking her eyes, and the night sky was not only clear now. It was also beautiful. "And I don't want you to be just a failure like I am. I want you to be better."

"Why?"

She almost scoffed. And then answered in a snarky, mocking voice.

"Well, I don't know, maybe because that way of living is just wrong by default?" She said, and before he managed to fully open his lips, she continued. "And also, you're Ruby's best friend. I really appreciate that, and believe you deserve a good life."

He heard her say, and he quietly, utterly quietly sighed.

"Thanks, but unfortunately, it's pretty damn hard to be anything more than a sad, pathetic failure."

"I know. Especially if you'll continue to spend time with someone like me."

"Yea, but…wouldn't you want to change as well? You know, leave your house and finally go out and into the world? Actually do some stuff?"

"I would, but…you know, it's pretty damn hard to be anything more than a sad, pathetic failure," She said, and they shared a ghost of a smile. Thereafter, him fixing his eyes into the night sky as well. And in doing so, they went quiet for a moment. And simply observed. No, maybe even admired the beauty of shimmering stars. The vastness of night sky, and how peaceful it looked.

For a moment, they didn't even think much, if at all. They simply stared, and allowed this unfamiliar quietness linger just a bit longer.

A little bit longer still.

"Jaune?"

"Yea?"

"You should really stop blaming yourself. I mean it."

A shuddering breath he took, and she noticed it.

"Actually, I've known it all along. That it wasn't my fault."

She had a moment of self-reflection.

"Then why do you blame yourself?"

"I don't even know why. Maybe it gives me false comfort. Maybe I'm simply desperate to find a scenario where Pyrrha could have lived. One where she's alive and well, even though I know that…"

"It's impossible. And is nothing more than wishful thinking." She finished it for him, and they both shuddered.

"Yea…Pyrrha, she, she was too selfless and caring. A hero, a true huntress and someone who…who was ready to embrace self-sacrifice. She probably knew she wouldn't make it out alive, but she also knew that she was the only one who had a chance against Cinder."

"And I know it isn't my fault that Blake disappeared. She ran because she's a coward, and not because I got badly hurt. I mean, she probably thinks she's trying to protect the gang, protect me, but really…all she's doing is run from her fears. Just like she did in the past."

"So, you cling to false comfort as well?"

"I do," She admitted, and then heard him take a heavy, labored breath.

"But in the end, it doesn't make it any better, does it?" His inner world gained voice for a moment.

"No. No, it doesn't. It just makes it worse."

"Then Pyrrha is really gone, isn't she?" He asked. Or didn't. Perhaps he still pleaded for a different answer. Or maybe he just needed someone else to confirm the truth he already knew. Whatever the case was, she felt how something within her stirred, and something bright and gentle gained her voice for a moment.

"She's gone, Jaune. Forever. The faster you'll learn to accept it, the faster you'll learn to live again," She said, and he slowly, quietly bit his lip. Closed his eyes, and a moment later let out a whimper. Before he just couldn't hold it back any longer, and started to sob and wail.

She stared at the night sky just a little longer, and then tried to move and eventually, she managed to get herself to her knees. As she did, she hugged him. Or simply wrapped her arms around him. Said nothing, and tightened her arms around him.

He continued to sob and wail, and showed no signs of stopping any time soon. In the midst of it, he hugged her back and that's when she started to sob as well. No more masks or continuous effort to deceive yourself from multiple truths.

Just two people who showed the weight of their inner worlds.