A week after Roy left, Riza found herself knocking on Vanessa's door.
"Hey Riza. Everything okay?" Vanessa asked.
"I want... some advice." She said softly.
"Sure. Sure. Come in." Vanessa grinned, stepping aside so Riza could enter.
"What do you want to know?" She asked as Riza sat down on her bed.
Riza let out a breath, unsure of where to start.
"Everything okay?" Vanessa asked, concerned.
"You know how me and Roy are together, right?" Riza asked, earning a nod from the older girl. "I want you to teach how to... please him... in bed..." she continued, her cheeks turning crimson.
"Oh. Ohh!" Vanessa gasped, jaw dropping. "R-Riza. You do know me and Roy have never done anything more then hug right?" She told her.
"I know that. But I've never even kissed a guy besides Roy. You're older and have more experience. And I want to be able to do more sex wise then just laying on my back with my legs spread." Riza informed her.
"I understand. Where do you wanna start?"
"Where ever you think is best. I don't know anything about anything." Riza said simply.
"Hand jobs it is than!" Vanessa cackled.
"A what?"
"It's when you touch a guys dick. Sort of like how a guy fingers a girl. You know what that is right?" Riza nodded her head yes.
"Okay good! If you need me, I'm going to the kitchen real quick to see if we have any cucumbers." Vanessa grinned, leaving her room and the blushing teenage girl behind. She came back five minutes later with a cucumber and a banana.
"... What's the banana for...?"
"Blow job practice." Vanessa smirked.
"How... different is that from a hand job?"
"Instead of using your hand you use your mouth." Vanessa stated simply.
"Oh my God." Riza groaned, collapsing on to her back.
"By the time Roy gets back home Riza, you're going to be a pro at pleasing him sexually in every way possible."
xXxXxXx
Roy was gone for three weeks when Riza realized she hadn't gotten her period in five.
'Stupid. Stupid. Stupid! How could you be so stupid?! Father was right! You are a stupid girl!' The voice inside her head spat at her.
Riza was alone in her dark bedroom while Christmas and the girls worked downstairs, curled up into a ball on her bed and sobbing silently into her pillow.
What was she going to do? Roy was gone, and would be for twoyears. While Madam Christmas liked her and the other girls all adored her, a baby would change all of that.
Though Riza quickly reminded herself that being pregnant and living in a bar was beyond better then being pregnant and living with her Father.
But she couldn't say anything to anyone. Something this big would get her thrown out on the street- whether it was Roy's baby or not.
Or worst, they'd send her to Pemda and right back to her Father's clutches. The baby- her baby- her and Roy's baby- wouldn't survive in that house.
They wouldn't even have a chance.
Riza had to sit up to swallow the bile that came up her throat back down at the thought of being forced to return home. Sighing, she lifted up her night gown, exposing her still flat stomach. She began slowly tracing circles under her naval, not entirely sure but fairly certain a new life was growing beneath her finger tips.
A life her and Roy had created together.
"I don't know if you can hear me, or even if you exist. But if you can hear me and you are real, then I want you to know that I will always protect you and keep you safe. You will never question whether or not you are wanted. You will always know that you are loved. And I will gladly give up my last breath in order for you to take your first." Riza whispered softly, her palm resting on her lower abdomen.
Until she got her next menstrual cycle, she was going to treat her body as if she was carrying something precious and innocent, and would ensure she was careful in both protecting its safety and its existence. She couldn't tell anyone.
Not Madam Christmas.
Not one of the girls.
Not even Roy.
Not yet.
xXxXxXx
She got her first letter from Roy the next day. Despite all the emotions she felt the night before when she figured out there was a high probability she was carrying his unborn child, his letter still put a smile on her face.
Riza,
I know it's been awhile since I left. I'm sorry I haven't been able to write you earlier, but I'm honestly surprised I'm able to write so soon.
Boot camp essentially sucks. I started with over three hundred other men. Fifty dropped out within three days. Can't say that I blame them.
I made a friend here. His name is Maes Hughes. If you thought I was overly happy and ridiculously optimistic when we first met, than holy shit. I'm pretty sure this guy shits rainbows and unicorns.
He's constantly raving about his new girlfriend Gracia (not entirely sure if I spelled her name right, I'll correct myself in a future letter if I'm wrong on the spelling) and how absolutely wonderful and perfect she is. And when I say new, I mean new. They were together less then a week before we left for the Academy.
I'm pretty sure that I'm his only friend because whenever we have any free time he's shoving a picture of her in everyone's face. If I ever do anything like that, please kill me. Just stab me in the back and put everyone else around out of their misery.
Maes knows about you. He's asked me a thousand and one questions about you. What you're like? How we met? How long we've been together? He wants me to tell him everything about you that he's forced me to learn about Gracia. But I don't want to. Call me selfish and immature, but I want to keep you all to myself, even if I technically can't be with you physically. The military is my job, and I wish to keep my work life and my personally life separate.
I miss you. I miss you so damn much. I knew I was going to miss you, I just didn't realize how badly until after I was gone. This is going to be a very long two years.
-Roy
Riza smiled, finishing the letter. He missed her. He missed her just as much as she missed him. She folded his letter back up, pressed her lips to it, and placed it in the drawer of her desk, before she began to write a letter of her own.
Roy,
I'm glad you made a new friend. Even though he sounds a bit annoying.
All of your sisters seem to like me, especially Vanessa, Madeline, and Sherri. Every time any of them want to go anywhere, they drag me along with me- whether I want to go with them or not. Shopping, going out to eat, the park. If I was twenty one and not fifteen, they'd probably take me out drinking with them.
Every time I go out with them, though, I'm scared. I'm scared that every time I turn a corner or enter a building, I'm gonna walk straight into my Father. I doubt this fear is going to go away until I know for sure that he's dead and gone. I would rather die then go back to Pemda and that awful house.
I understand how you feel about wanting to keep your personal life separate from your job. If you think that's going to upset me, don't worry. If I was in your place, I'd be the same way.
Are there any girls at the Academy? I know there are female soldiers, but no one ever really talks about the process.
I miss you too. I wish I had more to write about, there's not much has been going on. But I have more to write about here then I would if I was still in Pemda.
-Riza
xXxXxXx
As the next several weeks went on, she found it harder and harder to hide her nausea. If the feeling of throwing up hit her when she was around someone, she would force herself to swallow it back down.
It was a disgusting thing to have to do, but she had no choice. She just had to do it until the queasiness stopped.
If any of the others suspected that she was nearly three months pregnant, they weren't saying anything to her about it.
"Madam Christmas. Can I speak you in private?" Madeline asked, her voice low as she entered her boss' room.
"What about?" She asked gruffly, sitting at her desk, a cigarette in her hand.
"Riza."
"Alright. Close the door behind you." Christmas ordered her.
Madeline nodded, shutting the door and walking towards her boss.
"What is it about Riza you want to talk about?"
"Have you noticed that she's been acting weird the last few weeks?" Madeline asked her.
"It's because Roy-boy went and knocked her up." Christmas scoffed, rolling her eyes.
"Wait what?! Did- did she say anything to you?" Madeline gasped.
"Nope. She didn't have to. She's not the first terrified teenager to get herself pregnant in my care. Poor thing is probably scared we'll send her home to her old man." The Madam sighed.
"Do you think Roy knows?" Madeline questioned.
"Highly doubt it."
"How far along do you think she is?" The younger woman said softly.
"Well, he's been gone almost four months. And assuming that Riza didn't lie to me when she said nothing romantic happened between her and Roy until after they got here, then I would say she's about that far along."
"She can't keep this a secret from us forever. Her stomach is going to keep growing and growing every day for the next five months. She needs to tell one of us- or at the very least she needs to tell Roy that he's going to be a Father. Maybe we should-"
"No, Madeline." Christmas said sternly, cutting her off. "We aren't going to say anything about this to Roy. It's not our place to tell him."
While the two women were discussing the situation, they had no idea that Riza was standing outside the door in the hallway, listening to every single word they said.
'Oh no.' She thought in fear. 'They know? No no no. Please no. They can't know. Please don't send me back to Pemda. I can't protect my baby there. Please I can't go back. I can't. I can't. I can't-' her inner ramblings were cut off my the sound of a door opening.
When she looked up, she was eye to eye with Madeline and Madam Christmas.