"Wake up, Alexandra, you're home!" Penelope called out as Erin parked in the garage. Alex sat up in the back seat, stretching as widely as she could before blinking slowly, looking at Penelope a bit fuzzily as she tried to process her words.
"Already? Didn't we just leave the park?" she asked, her voice still laced with sleep.
"You conked out the moment Erin started to drive home, honey. Now, the first thing I think we should do is have Erin make me a list of things she absolutely needs, and I will run out to the stores that are still open and pick as much up tonight. Then, tomorrow, we can spend the day restarting a life for her. I have no idea what all that will entail, legally, so I'm hoping that Hotch might be able to shed a little light on that, since he was a lawyer before he started with the BAU. I know, it probably won't be the most recent advice, but it would still be a start." She pulled out her phone and looked at the time. "Do you think that James would mind if I borrowed his car one more time? I know, at some point, I'll have to bring my own car here, but for the moment, it's just easier to use what's at hand."
"That will be fine, Penny. And if Hotch stops by before I get back, make him stay, and I'll hurry back."
"It would be so much easier if I went with you, Penelope. That would also allow Alex time to get the guest rooms ready for us, without us underfoot." Erin gave her a look that told her not to argue, and Penelope nodded quickly in agreement. "See, even Penelope thinks I'm right. We'll be back in a few hours." Erin reached her hand back towards Alex, and Penelope watched the other woman squeeze it softly before climbing out of the car, popping the trunk and grabbing as many of the bags as she could carry before shutting it and heading into the house. "She needs time to put on a face that James will believe. I know that I would just get in the way, too."
"I think that I'll enjoy spending time alone with you, Erin," she replied with a small smile. "All right, lead on, my dear friend. I get to spoil you this afternoon, and nothing could make me happier." Erin let out a husky laugh as she turned the car on and backed out of the garage.
"I also had another motive to this shopping trip, Penelope. You wear your heart on your sleeve, and if you were to walk in that house right now, James would know everything. I do not have the strength to deal with a shouting match tonight, so it was easier for me to remove you from the situation. I'm sorry to have manipulated you, but I hope that you understand where I'm coming from."
Penelope was a little hurt by the admission, though she knew that Erin had a very good point. Nodding, she let out a deep sigh before burrowing back into the seat and staring out the window. Erin made a quiet sound of disappointment as she turned onto the road that would lead them to the main shopping area near where Alex lived, and Penelope pursed her lips together in an effort to keep from crying. "Is there anything that you don't see?" she finally whispered, and Erin reached across the car to rub her arm kindly, never taking her eyes off the road.
"I was cursed with too much sight," she replied. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Penny, but I feel very fragile at this current moment."
Those words were like daggers to her heart, and the dam holding back her tears finally broke. As quietly as she could, Penelope swiped away those offending drops. "And I was cursed with the ability to focus solely on myself too much. Like, I know that you've just been through one of the worst ordeals in your life, but all I can seem to think about is Alexandra. I'm sorry."
Erin came to a stop at the traffic light, and used the brief moment in time to turn and look at Penelope. "We're all selfish in our own ways, Penelope. And somehow, I feel that this fixation on Alex is also a result of you trying to mitigate the horror of what happened to me. Because what happened to me was horrific. There isn't another word for it, and I hate the fact that you know even a tenth of the torture I went through. I hate the fact that you know I have to go for further STI screenings. I hate that you saw the bruises Jason left me with. Because the look on your face will only be magnified when David finally sets his eyes on me."
The light turned green before Penelope could respond, and her heart cracked a little further as she ruminated over Erin's words. It wasn't until she was pulling into a parking spot near a boutique that Emily adored. As the vehicle was turned off, Penelope looked at Erin's face, seeing that she was also silently crying, and she reached out her hand, knowing that she couldn't presume that Erin was comfortable with spontaneous touches in this current moment. "And yet, I would let you tell me everything that happened to you, in order to halve the burden that's been laid on you. You don't deserve to carry this all on your own."
Erin took hold of Penelope's hand, squeezing tightly as she took a few deep breaths, meeting her eyes steadily, even as she continued to cry. "If people knew what I had been through, they would look at me differently. I don't want to see pity in the eyes of people I love."
"You are breaking my heart, Erin Strauss."
"I think that I'll be doing that for a good long time, Penelope Garcia. I just hope that you and Lexie will stand by my side as I work through the detritus that litters my heart and mind. I will be searching out a good therapist, one who doesn't know me, who can offer me the tools I'll need to fix the broken places in me. I don't need that from you, I need you two just to care."
"Okay. But I want you to know that my ear will always be open to you, if you need to vent, or it's after office hours with your therapist. When I was running my group, I trained to be a listener, even though I'm nowhere near as trained as a psychiatrist. You never have to take me up on that offer, but I want you to know that it is always there for you."
Erin gave her a brilliant smile, one that took Penelope's breath away, before she answered her. "I think that is why I love you so much, Penelope Garcia. I kept the image of you and Alex in my head, and I had started to think that I might have overblown my picture of the love you exude, for all the people you draw into your sphere. David would always remark on that well of love that you drew from to bless everyone on the team. I encountered a little of that that horrible weekend where we almost lost Agent Jareau's husband, when you didn't mention how many times I cried in the van with you."
"We were all under so much stress that day, but I knew that this was a real test for you. How could I comment on you doing something that I wanted to do myself? And did?" Erin nodded a little before leaning over and hugging Penelope as tightly as she could in the cramped interior of the car, and they drew in tandem shuddering breaths as they embraced. There was something so soothing about this hug, and she only hoped that Erin was drawing as much comfort from it as she was.