Roman had his morning alone. Spring stayed behind her door up until the last minute before he was leaving. It seemed like she had planned it. He didn't have time for more than a few words before he had to get to work.
"Good morning," he said. "Are you okay?"
"I called Lacey last night," she said.
"And?" He asked.
"I'm gonna go stay with her," she said.
He hated hearing that but he understood. After he had rejected her the night before, he got why she wouldn't wanna stay. If only she knew he didn't want to reject her but he didn't have time to go into details in that moment.
"When are you leaving?" He asked.
"Today," she answered.
"Today?" He asked shocked.
"This afternoon. I'll be gone before you get home. Thank you for everything. You've been very kind," she said.
He wanted to stay and argue but he was running late. He did the only thing he had time for. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her.
"Take care of yourself, little bear. Call me once you're settled in. Let me know how you're doing," he said.
Roman came home to an empty house that evening. He wished they had more time together, or that they at least could have said a proper goodbye. He felt it was his fault. If he hadn't stopped her from kissing him last night, she would have stayed.
"You fucked up," he spoke lowly to himself. "You really fucked up this time."
He walked to the guest room. The bed wasn't made. He sat down on the bed and grabbed the pillow to see if he could catch her scent on it. He placed it down on his lap and once again looked around. She hadn't left anything. Not that there was anything to leave in the first place. She didn't own much. He opened the drawer to the nightstand to see if she had missed anything. To his horror he found a kitchen knife and some bloody paper towels left there. Everything changed in that second. He found his phone and dialed Lacey right away.
"Hello?" She asked.
"It's Roman," he said.
"Hi, Roman. What can I do for you?" She asked.
"Did Spring arrive okay?" He asked.
"Arrive?" She asked confused. "She's not here. Isn't she with you?"
He ran his hand down his face in frustration. She had played him that morning. She had waited until the right moment where he didn't have time to talk or argue, and he had believed her. If he had the time to stay and talk, she knew he would see right through that lie.
"Shit!" He growled.
"Where's my sister, Roman?" She asked.
"I don't know. She said she was going to live with you," he said.
"You better find my sister!" She raised her voice. "I am not losing her again! You hear me? Find her!"
He hung up, went to his laptop and googled for every hotel, motel and B&B in the area. She had to be somewhere. She didn't have anyone that could help her. He started calling every place asking for a Spring Evans until someone finally said she was staying with them.
"Keep her there. This is official police business. Don't tell her anything. I'm on my way," he said.
He didn't like using his badge as an excuse but that was exactly what he did. When he arrived, he waved the badge at the poor guy behind the counter of the motel to get her room number. He walked down to the room and knocked. As expected he didn't get a response. He kept knocking though.
"Open up, Spring!" He yelled. "I know you're in there. I'll get a key at the front desk if you don't open."
She finally opened with her face red and swollen from crying. He couldn't stay mad at her. He pulled her into his arms and held her tight.
"I was so scared," he said.
"Why?" She asked.
"I thought you were dead," he said.
"I didn't survive five years in that place to kill myself," she said.
"Okay, get your shit. No more lies or fooling around like this. If you don't wanna stay with me, tell me. I'll help you find a job and a place to live. You can't run off like this," he said.
He didn't know what she had planned. He knew she didn't have money to stay more than a night or two. He had given her some cash in case she wanted to venture out on her own while he was working. She had spent his cash on this room. She quickly gathered her things and went back home with him. She knew he was right. It had been a stupid move on her part.
"I gotta call Lacey and tell her I found you," he said. "I'm sure she wants to speak to you too."
"I'm too tired. I'm going to bed," she said.
Before he could argue against that, she had gone to her room. Meanwhile he called Lacey and told her everything was okay. He couldn't do anything in that moment but he wasn't gonna drop it. He had tomorrow off. She wouldn't be able to hide from him the entire day.
She stayed in her room for a couple of hours. She couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned before giving up. She sat up and opened the drawer in the nightstand. The knife and the paper towels were gone. Roman knew and he hadn't said anything. It didn't matter in that moment. She still needed some sort of relief. She snuck through the darkness out to the kitchen. She opened the knife drawer and looked for the small knife.
"Looking for this?" He asked.
She turned around and saw him standing with the knife in his hand. She didn't know what to say so she just kept staring at him in awkward silence until he spoke again.
"Where did you cut yourself?" He asked.
"Nowhere," she answered.
"Don't lie!" He gritted his teeth.
He slammed the knife down on the kitchen table.
"This fucking hurts to know, so at least be honest with me. Show me where you cut yourself," he said.
He stared in surprised as she dropped her pyjamas pants down to the floor and angled her leg so he could see her thigh.
"Satisfied?" She asked.
"God damn it, Spring," he muttered. "Why?"
"I can't deal with this pain inside. If I hurt myself, I can tend to the wound and make the pain go away. It took my mind off everything and I needed that. Especially after last night. I threw myself at you and you didn't want me. I didn't know how to handle it on top of everything else," she said.
"It's not that I don't want you," he said.
"Bullshit!" She yelled.
She left her pyjamas pants on the floor and pushed past him. He followed behind and stopped her in the hallway before she could lock herself in her room.
"Listen to me!" He said firmly. "I do want you. I've wanted you since I saw you. But yesterday I wasn't in the right mindset. I wasn't gonna tell you but I need to live by my own 'no lies' rule. Yesterday I had to sit and watch a tape of you being raped by two men. I'm sure you remember that day and don't wanna relive it. But seeing you like that made it feel so wrong to kiss you."
She clenched his t-shirt and stared at him. It hurt to know he had seen that, and still he was lucky. He had only seen that one day. There were five more years of that.
"That was the first day there," she said.
"I figured," he said. "I'm sorry I hurt you last night but I didn't mean to. You gotta believe me."
"Why are you so good to me? Why do you make me feel the way I feel? I don't know how to handle it, and I can't stay mad at you even though I want to. I've never trusted anyone the way I trust you. I look at you and I feel safe. What am I gonna do, Roman? Tell me what to do," she said.
He leaned down and kissed her. To hell with everything else. He wanted her. He pulled her with him into his bedroom and laid her down on the bed. He crawled downwards between her legs and studied the cuts. Not too deep. They would heal in no time. He traced his finger under one of them.
"Broken," she said.
"Huh?" He looked up at him.
"I spoke my feelings while cutting. That one means I'm broken," she said.
He smiled and placed a gentle kiss on the cut.
"In the process of healing," he said.
He pointed to the next cut.
"Worthless," she said.
"So damn worthy," he said.
He kissed that cut too and pointed to the last one.
"Unlovable," she said.
"Lovable and deserving of that love," he smirked. "I'll prove that to you personally."
He kissed the final cut and looked up at her again. He could see the gratitude in her eyes. It meant a lot to her that he handled it that way.
"Now what?" She asked.
"Now I'm gonna make you feel really good," he said.
He grabbed her panties and pulled them off her. He settled back down between her legs and slowly ran his tongue around her clit. He took his time with the slow movement, upping the pace little by little as time went. He only used his tongue. His hands were on her thighs while he pushed her over the edge after several minutes.
He raised his head and watched her. She looked so blissful lying there with her eyes closed. He pulled his t-shirt off and gently wiped off the mess he had made between her legs. He threw the t-shirt on the floor and put her panties back on. She opened her eyes and looked at him confused. He crawled up her body and kissed her.
"We need to sleep. I hope you're gonna sleep in here tonight," he said.
"I don't understand," she said.
"I just needed you to see that I'm not out to hurt you. That I'll do right by you. And that I'll make you feel good," he said. "Hopefully."
"It was fucking amazing," she said.
"Good," he chuckled. "Now let's sleep."
He lied down and she crawled up to lie on his chest. He held on to her and kissed the top of her head. It felt so good to have her in his bed. He could wait with sex for as long as it took. He had gotten his message across tonight. He wanted her.
"Thank you," she said.
"Anything for you, little bear," he said.