STUFF I NEED TO MENTION TO PROTECT MY ASS: Naoko Takeuchi created Sailor Moon. El Dorado is a real high school in Placentia, California, and their mascot is the Golden Hawk. If I created it, I own it. If I didn't create it, someone else owns it. Got it? Good...
SAILOR MOON: 1987
EPISODE 5: THE FINAL PIECE OF THE PUZZLE
NOVEMBER 28, 1986
ORANGEFAIR PLAZA, FULLERTON, CALIFORNIA
2:30 PM
"You know what to do!" Golden Hawk said to Sailor Moon.
"Right," Sailor Moon said, removing her tiara. "Moon Tiara, Boomerang!" she said, throwing her tiara at the demon, destroying it.
As the battle ended, Golden Hawk got a pellet from a pouch on his belt. "Cutting out once the battle's over, as usual?" Sailor Moon asked.
"You wanna do the honors?" Golden Hawk asked, handing her the pellet.
"No," Sailor Moon said, handing him back the pellet. "You may not be a Sailor Soldier, but you're a member of this team. I know I made a promise when you first became Golden Hawk that I wouldn't reveal your secret identity, which is why I'm asking you to."
"Whatever you say, Usagi," Golden Hawk said.
"How long have you known?" Sailor Moon asked, as she transformed back to Usagi Tsukino.
"I just figured it out," Golden Hawk said, removing his mask, revealing himself to be John McCoy. "You and Sailor Moon have the same hairstyle, and there's no mistaking that cute little ass of yours. But the thing that made it click is Luna. Sailor Moon is accompanied by a black cat, and last week, you just happen to adopt a black cat named Luna. The first time we met was pure chance, I just happened to be working at the time. I just happened to be on a break at the time, so I transformed, helped you out, and got back just in time, nobody was the wiser. After our first meeting, I learned to focus on your aura, whenever you became Sailor Moon, I knew where you were, and zapped myself to the scene. It wouldn't tell me who you were, just where. As for Luna, at first, I didn't think anything of her. No offense, Luna, but black cats are common enough around here that I never gave you a second thought. Anyways, it's about time for me to make my exit. I'll be there whenever you need me, but for the most part, I work alone."
"Not anymore," Ami Andersen said, transforming from Sailor Mercury.
"Ami's right," Rae Hinowski said, transforming from Sailor Mars. "Like it or not, you're part of a team now. We stick together."
"You're one of us," Ami said. "No matter how you got your powers."
"All those of us in the team," Mina Webb said, as she and Mary Ann Kino transformed from Sailor Venus and Sailor Jupiter, respectively, "hands in."
Mina put her hand out, and Mary Ann, catching on to what Mina was getting at, and put her hand on top of Mina's. "Go team," Mary Ann said.
"Count me in," Rae said, putting her hand on top of Mary Ann's. "Besides, I stand with my best friend."
"Sailor Soldiers forever," Ami said, putting her hand on top of Rae's.
"John," Usagi said, "I'm waiting.
"What the hell," John said, putting his hand on top of Ami's.
"Mind if I join in?" Luna said, putting her front paw on top of John's hand.
"My turn," Usagi said, putting her hand on Luna's paw. "Now it's official."
"Not yet," a white cat said.
"Come on, Artemis," Mina said, as the cat climbed onto her shoulders.
"Now it's official," Artemis said, putting his paw on Usagi's hand.
"Now if you'll excuse me," John said. "I think it's time for me to take my leave."
"But I thought..." Ami said, as John cut her off.
"Yeah," John said. "But it's almost time for my band to play the next set. There's a whole plaza of faces in serious need to be melted." He got his transformation pellet out, and tossed it to the ground with his left hand, as he held up "metal horns" with his right.
A few minutes later, Usagi, Ami, Rae, Mina, and Mary Ann stood in front of the stage, as John, Chris Forney, Molly Hogan, and Darien Shields took the stage, and grabbed their instruments. "Hello Orangefair Plaza!" John said, as the band began their second set. "I'm John McCoy, I play lead guitar, bass, talkbox, and vocals!"
"Chris Forney," Chris said. "Rhythm guitar and vocals!"
"Molly Hogan," Molly said. "Bass, keyboards, and vocals!"
"Darien Shields," Darien said. "I beat the drums!"
"And we're Rainy Day Man!" Molly said. "We're here to rock and roll you to your very soul!"
"And we see plenty of faces in desperate need to be melted!" John said. "So let's melt some faces! One, two, three, four!" As John counted to four, he began playing the opening riff of "Tomorrow and Tonight" by KISS. After that song, they played "If I Needed Someone", "Heading Out to the Highway", "Windy"(Molly on keyboard and John on bass), "You Really Got Me", "Black Dog"(Chris on vocals), "Promises in the Dark"(Molly on vocals), "Incense and Peppermints"(Molly on keyboards and John on bass), "Shout it Out Loud"(Chris and John sharing vocals), "867-5309/Jenny", "Vive Le Rock", Aces High", and "Shoot to Thrill", before finishing the set with "Black Diamond". "We're gonna take a little break," John said after the last song, "We'll be back in about 45 minutes, for our last set."
When John got off the stage, he got a bottle of Sioux City Sarsaparilla and some popcorn, and sat on a bench in a secluded corner of the plaza behind the stage. As he was eating, Artemis came up to the bench, and sat in his lap. "Sorry kitty," John said, "all I have is popcorn."
"I'm not all that hungry anyways," Artemis said. "Mina and I split a shrimp cocktail. Actually, I had most of it, she only had a couple. I just wanted to talk with you for a bit."
"What do you want to talk about?" John asked.
"Doesn't matter," Artemis said. "I just wanted to talk to you, because you have something that neither Mina or any of the other Sailor Soldiers has."
"And what's that?" John asked.
"A dick," Artemis said. "You do realize you and I are the only males on the team."
"The team," John said. "The girls are nice and all, and Usagi's pretty much the closest thing I've ever had to a girlfriend, but, I don't know."
"Okay," Artemis said, "Let me hear your impressions of the girls."
"You do not want to hear me attempt to imitate the female voice," John said.
"That's not what I meant," Artemis said. "What do you think of them?"
"Ami seems wise beyond her years," John said. "I'll have to get back to you on Mary Ann, I don't know enough about her to give an impression yet. Mina is the joy and laughter of the team, while Rae is more serious, but they go together like peanut butter and jelly. Luna is the mother hen, I have a feeling she sees us almost as her kittens. As for Usagi, she's very kind, and loving. She has a huge heart, a kind and loving heart. Usagi is the heart of the team. As for me, I still kind of feel like a mercenary, a hired gun. I mean, the story of my life, I almost feel as if I don't really belong."
"Bullshit," Rae said, coming up and hugging John from behind. "You belong with us."
"Thank you," John said. "But no matter what, there will always be that little part of me that feels like the proverbial square peg in a world full of round holes."
"You might not think you're a loser," Rae said, kissing John on the cheek, "But I make it a point to never kiss losers."
"Thank you," John said.
"Anyways," Rae said, "your drummer sent me to get you, they're almost ready to start the last set."
"Thanks again," John said.
John and his bandmates hit the stage for their last set. "Hello, Orangethorpe Plaza!" John said, as they got ready to play their last song.
"We're Rainy Day Man," Chris said, "and we're here to melt some faces. One, two, three, four!"
As Chris finished the count, John stood front and center, and played the opening note to "King of the Night Time World". They played that song, followed by "Goody Two-Shoes", "Looks That Kill", 'Make A Circuit With Me", "You've Got Another Thing Coming", "Smoke on the Water"(Chris on vocals), "Venus"(Molly on vocals), "Photograph", "Hungry Like the Wolf"(Molly on keyboards, John on bass), "New York Groove", "Immigrant Song"(Chris on vocals), "Our Lips are Sealed"(Molly on vocals), "Sweet Emotion"(Chris on vocals, John playing the talkbox), "Beautiful Girls", and finishing the set with "Rock and Roll All Night".
After the last set, John, Chris, Molly, and Darien broke down their set. As John was taking his guitar and amp to his car, he saw Luna sitting on the hood. "Whenever you're done," Luna said, "Sailor Soldier meeting at Rae's house."
"I'm technically not a Sailor Soldier," John said. "Besides, I don't know where Rae lives."
"I'll go with you," Mina said. "You might not know where she lives, but I do."
"Great," John said. "Let me go check out, and I'll be right back."
After John checked out at Cavern Music, he and Mina drove to Rae's house, where the rest of the team had already set up in her mom's auxiliary unit(an apartment attached to the house, with its own separate entrance and utilities). There were a couple couches, some chairs, and a table set up. Rae and Mary Ann were on one couch, Ami was sitting in a ball chair, and Usagi was sitting on a loveseat. "Hey John," Usagi said, patting the seat next to her, while Mina sat on the couch with Rae and Mary Ann. As John sat down, Luna sat on his lap, while Artemis sat on the armrest next to Mina.
"Now that we're all here," Luna said, "I think it's time this meeting came to order."
"We'd like to welcome our two newest members to the team,"Usagi said. "Mary Ann, as Sailor Jupiter, and John, as Golden Hawk."
"John," Luna said, "I need to see your watch real quick."
"Sure," John said, taking off his Timex watch. He placed it on his lap, in front of Luna, who put her paw on it. The watch glowed for a couple seconds, and she took her paw off it. "Now Mary Ann, hold your hand out, please."
"Okay," she did, and a bracelet, similar to the ones worn by Usagi, Ami, Rae, and Mina appeared on her wrist.
"Now the two of you have communicators," Luna said, as John put his watch back on. "John, I had to make yours out of your watch."
"I understand," John said. "Those ones the girls are wearing are a bit too girly for my tastes. No offense."
"None taken," Usagi said.
"Anyways," John said, "I'd rather use my watch as a communicator. Because I always wear a watch, having it on my wrist won't arouse suspicion."
"Now you're officially one of us," Artemis said. "You never have to fight alone."
"But I hope nobody minds if I go off by myself every once in a while for a little SLS," John said.
"SLS?" Usagi asked.
"Street Level Surveillance," John said. "In other words, going out on patrol. Before the Sailor Soldiers came on the scene, that was how I operated. Basically, I just went out, and looking for anywhere I may be needed, and acted accordingly. Might make it easier to find demons if there's a pair of eyes and a pair of ears out there."
"That's actually a good idea," Artemis said.
"I agree," Luna said. "In fact, I think we should all do the occasional patrol."
"Luna and Artemis included," John said. "Nobody will give a stray cat a second glance, you can hide in plain sight."
"So when did you plan on doing a patrol?" Usagi asked.
"I was thinking of going tonight," John said.
"Okay if I go with you?" Usagi asked.
"Of course," John said. "Luna, wanna join us?"
"Sure," Luna said.
John brought Usagi and Luna back to his house, stopping at the grocery store first, where they got a couple large loaves of white sandwich bread, a jar of creamy peanut butter, a jar of grape jam, sandwich bags, brown paper lunch bags, packages of cookies in individual serving packs, small boxes of raisins, several packages of juice boxes of fruit punch, and a large box of potato chips, packaged in single serve bags. "I've learned from doing patrols that a sack lunch is a highly effective surveillance tool," John said.
"So what do you want me to do?" Usagi asked.
"Put a juice box, a box of raisins, a bag of chips, and a pack of cookies in each bag," John said. "I'll make sandwiches."
They got the lunches made, and John packed the bags in a duffel bag. "I think it's time to get into character," he said.
"Right," Usagi said, holding her brooch up and touching the gem. "Pretty Soldier of the Moon, Make-Up!"
John disappeared, as if he was standing on a trap door that was opened. Just as quickly as he disappeared, he reappeared, in costume as Golden Hawk. "Grab Luna," Golden Hawk said, "I'll take the lunches."
Golden Hawk grabbed the duffel bag, and slung it over his shoulder. He, Sailor Moon, and Luna went to downtown Fullerton, where they encountered a homeless man, who appeared to be in his early 40s. "Golden Hawk," the man said. "Haven't seen you around as much the last couple weeks."
"Hey Jackrabbit Slim," Golden Hawk said. "I got caught up in something big, that's why I haven't been around as much lately. Anyways, I want you to meet a friend of mine. Jackrabbit Slim, this is Sailor Moon. Sailor Moon, this is Alex Phillips, or, as he's known on the street, Jackrabbit Slim."
"Nice to meet you," Sailor Moon said.
"And this is her cat, Luna," Golden Hawk said, as Luna climbed into his arms.
"Nice kitty," Jackrabbit Slim said, petting her.
"Got a little something for you," Golden Hawk said, handing Jackrabbit Slim a sack lunch. "It's not much, but it's all I can give right now."
"Every little bit helps," Jackrabbit Slim said.
"So what's the word on the street?" Golden Hawk asked.
"Someone's attacking the homeless," Jackrabbit Slim said. "He's attacked a few of us, Bobby Hayes got his arm broke, I nearly wound up in the hospital, and whoever it is killed Sister Betty."
"Do you know who's doing it?" Sailor Moon asked. "Or why?"
"I don't know why," Jackrabbit Slim said. "All he ever said was to ask if we had it. Of course, nobody knows what it was he was looking for. However, Bobby got a name. Zoicite."
"I hate to have to leave all of a sudden," Golden Hawk said, "but Sailor Moon and I have to go. Something big just came up."
"Hope you find this Zoicite character," Jackrabbit Slim said.
UNTIL NEXT TIME...
OUR NEXT EPISODE: THE FOUR LORDS OF HELL