Violent flurries of snow now spun around us in a raging vortex, sucking the light of of the air in a vacuum of sorts. It was next to impossible to see my enemy without shielding my eyes with one hand. I took an unsure swing at what I thought to be Papyrus' head, but he quickly stepped back, and my toy knife ultimately ended up bouncing uselessly off his chest piece. He stumbled away in an attempt to put some distance between us and chucked some bones at my face to keep me off him. Although, I hardly even had to move to avoid them due to his piss-poor aim. Most of them sailed uselessly off to either side of me, lost somewhere in the icy, dark storm.
"You can't run from me, Papyrus!" I chased after his rapidly disappearing figure as best as I could with the weight of the snow pulling at my ankles.
"The G-g-great Papyrus n-never runs from a fight!" he declared, adding another volley of bones as the icing on the cake. I ducked under them this time, closing the distance between me and the skeleton enough to deck him across the face with my tough glove. The blow caused Papyrus to cry out in pain, sending him tumbling over himself onto the ground.
"Ya might wanna start considering it!" I yelled at his crumpled form. Damn, the shopkeeper wasn't lying about this glove. THAT was satisfying as all hell.
The Mediocre Papyrus shook off the blow, climbing to his feet as if nothing had happened. With a confident glint in his eye, he challenged, "Don't let your confidence get the best of you, Human! Lets see how you handle my fabled 'blue attack!'"
At the sound of his voice, blue pillars of light exploded into existence on every side of me, burning through the dark and snow like fire. It took me the same amount of time to recognize the shapes of the pillars as bones as it did for them to start closing in on me. Which was not very long, let me tell you.
My eyes started scanning the projectiles for some way to avoid them, but my chances seemed stuck somewhere between "impossible" and "hopeless." The bones approached from every single direction and angle, leaving absolutely no room to squeeze through the gaps. Papyrus had me backed into a corner.
C'mon, think, I urged myself. There's no way I'm getting captured by this clown and shipped off to get my soul dissected by some freak-show in the Capital.
"If you see a blue attack, don't move and it won't hurt you," I muttered to myself, recalling Sans' ever questionable words of wisdom within moments of the blue bones of death coming in contact with my skin. The advice sounded sketchy at best and mind-numbingly stupid at worst, but what other option did I have? Try to slip through the cracks and get sliced up like a plate of cheese?
I pulled in my arms and legs and sucked up a heavy breath, staying as perfectly still as possible, as if the storm had finally succeeded in freezing me solid. My every instinct screamed at me to duck under the death-beam that had now taken up my entire field of vision, but I still managed to stay put. Even as it started to pass harmlessly through my body.
Relief swept through me, but I refused to let it out in a sigh, fearing that would be too much movement and the bones would gut me from the inside out. I waited there teeth clenched, wide-eyed, and fighting the will to shiver until the last of the attack passed through me. Aside from the wound on my face Papyrus had inflicted before the fight began, I was unscathed.
That's it? Stand still and you come out on top? So much for his "fabled" blue attack...
I gasped as the air was forced from my lungs in one huge gust. My limbs went limp, and it took all the energy I had left to keep from flopping over like a rag doll. The feeling of cold set in as an icy blue aura curled around my body, but I could still feel myself sweating buckets. I felt completely and utterly drained.
With joints so stiff you could've mistaken me for the Tin Man, I painstakingly raised my head to glance at Papyrus, confusion spreading across my face like wildfire.
"Wh-what the hell did you do to...me?" I sputtered weakly. Practically horrified, I discovered the usually bright red heart sprouting from my chest, my SOUL, had turned a sickly dark blue.
The once pathetic figure I stared down wore a confident smile, readying another bone to his right hand. "You're blue now. That's my attack!" he said simply, without a hint of sympathy in his voice. "NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"
Never thought that laugh could ever sound truly threatening.
Before I could attempt to draw in another breath, Papyrus pegged me square in the chest with another bone. My only possible retaliation was to hold my head high, try not to double over in pain, then promptly tumble to the ground like an idiot to avoid getting hit by his next barrage.
I cursed the freezing layer of snow and climbed to my feet as fast as possible, which was way easier said then done. The fatigue Papyrus had set on me made not only my actions, but my thoughts feel stiff and sluggish, as if his spell effectively turned my brain into a ball of week old potato salad. Just as I thought I would easily best the psycho skeleton, he played the ultimate trump card. Only time would tell what other tricks he had up his sleeve.
If I lived that long, of course. Even if Papyrus' attacks didn't kill me, the suffocating cold certainly would.
I stumbled closer to the titan of terrible himself, weaving through his bones as best I could with my handicap. Slogging forward in the ankle-deep powder was hard enough before, but now it felt like I was trekking across a field of butter, in a wedding dress, wearing high heels, with a giant fan blowing against me, while the instrumental rock version of Frere Jacques plays overhead. Thank god for Papyrus' awful aim, or else I'd have no chance to close the distance between us.
"I can almost taste my future popularity!" Papyrus remarked, spinning further away every time I drew near.
"D-dammit...sl-slow down..." I grunted. Never mind. I still have no chance.
"Imagine Papyrus, head of the royal guard!" he sang to himself, not even bothering to glance at me as he hurled his next wave of bones. They were flying right at me, and there was no time to dodge. I raised my arm in a weak attempt to block the onslaught, but it proved worthless. Two bashed into my forearm, another bruised my stomach, and the last came rolling along the ground, tripping me up. I crashed back down, and any progress I'd made towards Papyrus became null and void. "Papyrus: Unparalleled Spaghettore!"
Climbing up to my feet, I tried my hand at a quip. "P-papyrus: shutting the h-hell up now!" Damn, it was infuriating to hear my voice so sloppy and sluggish. Just separating my lips took so much energy; every word tumbled out carelessly, as if I were some useless beat-down drunkard who'd downed one too many drinks that evening.
He shot me a quick glare, but otherwise ignored the comment. "Undyne will be really proud of me, and the king will trim a hedge in the shape of my smile!" he cheered coldly, throwing - guess what - more bones!
Heh. When is he gonna run out and fall apart? Apparently, not any time soon. It hadn't taken me long to realize the bones he was using didn't come from his body, but it was still fun to imagine Papyrus trying so desperately hard to capture me he ended up as nothing more than a skull and a hand.
"OW! SHIT!" Speaking of bones and skulls...that one hurt. A lot. A ton, actually. So much so that between that and the other blows I'd suffered, my vision had started to go dark around the edges. If only I had a single shred of monster food...
Wait, the spider cider! That disgusting slop might finally come in handy, assuming it didn't kill me first...
...
...Dammit, it's in the hoodie. Where the hell did I leave the hoodie!?
It was no use. I could hardly see a few feet in front of me, and Papyrus and I had been getting lost farther and farther in the storm this whole time. If I was gonna win this, I'd have to be a little more resourceful.
And somehow manage to focus on anything besides the ringing in my ears.
"And my brother will...well, he probably won't change much."
NOW. While he was preoccupied envisioning a future that would never come to exist, I scanned my immediate area for every and any resource that could be of use to me. It was no use. The only thing I could see was the seemingly endless desert of snow stretched out before me...
...Well, it was a horrible plan, but better than rolling over and getting clubbed to death, I guess.
I bent over and, in an obnoxiously slow fashion, snatched up a huge clump of snow in my hand. Just as I raised my arm up, peering around for my target, Papyrus popped up again with another wave of projectiles ready. But this time, I beat him to the punch.
"Farewell, Human!"
In the name of the Almighty Stick, please don't miss.
I put every shred, every fiber of strength I had left into hurling the ball of snow at Papyrus. It soared through the air in slow-motion, or at least, it seemed that way, until it finally decided to drop to its target. Thankfully, Papyrus' face acted as the ultimate projectile magnet.
The clump landed directly on his skull, covering his eye sockets and momentarily leaving him blinded. "Nyeh!? What manner of attack is this!?" he cried, scrambling to wipe the crystals off.
"M-my fabled...snow...eh, screw it." I launched a heavy handed punch at his spine, knocking the lanky skeleton off balance. Now with the upper hand, I found myself alternating strikes with my knife and my tough glove, never giving him an opportunity to recover. The opening proved to be the only one I needed. With each blow, I felt myself begin to break free of his curse, as my movements slowly but surely began to return to their normal speed.
I'd say laying my anger into smacking around the migraine-inducing skeleton felt good. I'd say getting revenge on the person chucking bones at me for the last ten minutes in the middle of a snowstorm helped to relieve me of the pain.
But it hadn't.
Whether my knuckles connected with metal or cartilage, they still felt immense recoil, and it came to me as no surprise when I spotted dry red liquid beginning to ooze through the leather glove. My previous injuries never shut up as well, until my whole body was aching like crazy. And...there was something else there, some feeling I couldn't quite place. Regret?
Empathy?
With one last swing, Papyrus was forced to the ground, cowering and writhing beneath me with his arms raised to protect his face.
"I submit, human!" he wailed. "P-papyrus accepts defeat with open arms!"
I blinked, not entirely sure I had heard him. My eyes were fixated on all those cracks that had appeared in his bones. Had they...had they always been there?
No, of course not, dumbass. You did this to him.
Not even seconds before, there was all this anger, but now...looking at Papyrus' cowering form, a product of my own handiwork...
...What have I done?
When Papyrus spoke again, his voice was shaky. Nervous. Defeated. Absent of everything that made Papyrus, Papyrus. "My only request is that you make my death swift, and honorable. Worthy of a true Royal Guardsman."
Just as the words fluttered from his mouth, the storm too fluttered to a sudden halt. The world went utterly silent.
...
...
"Cut the theatrics, Papyrus. I'm not gonna kill you," I huffed at last.
He lowered his guard in order to stare up at me. "R-really?" I nodded solemnly. "Oh. Well, that makes our situation much more awkward, then."
My mouth hung open as I contemplated what emotion I should've been feeling. A moment later I had burst out in laughter. Something about how he pulled a complete one-eighty just grabbed me by the gut and yanked out a chuckle or two. And Papyrus decided to join in as well, whether it was out of relief or...something else. For once, his cackle didn't make me wanna tear my own ears out.
Then the realization of what had happened came creeping back in like a shadow, and my laughter vanished in the blink of an eye. "What the hell are we doing, Papyrus?" I asked, taking a seat besides the "soon-to-be" royal guardsman. Hell, I practically ended up falling on top of him from pure exhaustion alone.
Papyrus' laugh ceased just as quickly. "I...I don't really know, human."
We sat there in silence, never really bothering to address one another for the longest time. The weight of what had happened between us seemed to come crashing down all at once. And it hurt.
That was, until the Mediocre Papyrus noticed me shivering in the cold. Without stopping to think twice, or even once most likely, undid his scarf-cape thing enough to throw it around my shoulders.
Needless to say, I was stunned by the gesture. Almost in shock, to be honest. After all we'd just been through, after the things I said to him, after beating the living shit out of each other, he was still opting to help me!? Either he was downright insane (the more likely of the two options,) or...as cheesy as it sounds, maybe there was a heart hidden somewhere behind that dusty-ass rib-cage.
"Paps...I'm sorry."
He turned to me with a puzzled look on his face, and...jeez, was he drawing smiley-faces in the snow!? "About what, Human?"
I shot him a glare of disbelief. "Seriously? You're actually gonna make me explain myself to you?" When he didn't move to say anything else, I sighed and continued. "I'm sorry I said all that shit to you, alright!?" Softer, I added, "Somewhere beneath that...hard, chiseled exterior, there's a not-so terrible person. Dare I say...a great one." Nice call substituting 'egotistical mess" for 'hard chiseled exterior.' "And if that fight was any indication, a pretty damn good Royal Guardsman."
Papyrus lit up. "You think so? Truly?"
I smiled and gestured to myself. "Dude, I'm basically a walking big, ugly bruise right now. I have no clue where the hell you were pulling those bones out from, but they hurt."
His over-confidence in himself seemed to come rushing back all at once. "In that case, The Great Papyrus, too, apologizes!" he said triumphantly.
I raised an eyebrow, not totally convinced. Now it was my turn to look like an idiot. "For what?"
"For making you triumph over my awful puzzles, of course!"
Oh. Yeah. Those.
I waved off his apology. "Eh, they weren't that bad. Most of 'em, anyways." I paused and thought more about it. The color puzzle, the X and O puzzles, the junior jumble... "Okay, so, maybe the vast majority of them sucked, but-"
"-You can stop now human," Papyrus droned, looking all but amused.
"Y-yeah, good call."
Another silence fell over us, interrupted only by my breaths and Papyrus' teeth chattering non-stop. I was completely convinced beavers made less noise chomping on the bark of a tree than he did. Eventually, Papyrus spoke up again, but he was speaking more to himself than me.
"I can't even stop a child..." he murmured to himself. I quickly prepared a counter-argument, half to cheer him up, and half to defend myself, but he kept talking before I could intervene. "Undyne's going to be so disappointed in me...and I'll never join the Royal Guard..."
Shit, that's right. I may have just screwed this guy out of a job.
"And...and my friend quantity will forever remain stagnant."
Don't say it.
Don't say it.
"Hey, it's not completely stagnant."
Just stop right there. YOU'LL REGRET IT-
"-Ya found me, right?"
God dammit, me.
If I thought I'd managed to cheer up Papyrus before, then this attempt blew the last one totally out of the water. He looked happy enough to break out into song and dance right on the spot.
"REALLY?! YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME?!" he squealed, leaping to his feet in the blink of an eye.
"Uh..." What the hell was I supposed to say? No, sorry, I was just trying to cheer you up, you hopeless loser? But, before I could magically screw things up even further, another thought crossed my mind. One I was almost one-hundred-percent certain came from a little flicker of Toriel in the back of my mind.
"Yeah. Sure," I shrugged, like it wasn't at all a big deal. Under normal circumstances, it probably wouldn't be, but everything felt ten times as grand and absurd with The Great Papyrus hanging around.
"Well then!" he cheered, still ecstatic. He cleared his throat. "I mean...I suppose I can make an allowance for you."
I nodded lazily. "Awesome..." For a moment, everything had started to look up. Storm gone, fight over, teeth still in place, all that good stuff. Yep. Things were good. Absolutely nothing in the world that could possibly go wrong at this particular moment in time. Nothing.
Nope.
Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.
Now that the adrenaline had stopped flowing throughout my body, the eerie blackness had returned along the edges of my vision. Every wound appeared freshly opened, especially the brutal lump on my face.
"H-human? Are you okay?"
Where did all this come from, I wanted to shout, but couldn't find my voice.
Papyrus' cries and protests sounded quiet and distant, as if he were yelling at me from a mile away. I jammed my eyes shut and threw my hands over my ears, attempting to block everything out. To shut out the pain. But nothing could cut me free of the burning sensation in my body.
I stayed like that for what felt like forever, until exhaustion eventually crept back in and grabbed me by the throat. The last thing I heard before blacking out was Papyrus' garbled shout.
"Don't worry Human, I'll save-"
...
...
"Don't worry. I'll save you."
"I promise."