Notch, mighty King of the Aether (and all other places Various and Sundry, Nether and End Excluded ), sat on his magnificent golden throne, tugging at his fine beard and-
Was completely bored out of his mind.
Everything seemed to have quieted down. All the supervillains and other aberrations of the world was at this minute being deal with by his Elites. And the other Gods were somewhere else doing their own divine business, leaving him twiddling his thumbs in the Aether because, well, someone who wasn't Jeb needed to be on the Aether at all times, the world being pretty much at stake constantly over some mishap or another. Usually the gods themselves being responsible.
Notch let out Despondent Melodramatic Sigh No.3448. Being King of the Gods was fine and all while the banquets and golden chandeliers lasted, but the minute someone started a holy war over some footnote in dried parchment or turned somebody into a mantis shrimp in a misbegotten romantic escapade it was all 'O Almighty Mediator, I beg of Thee in Thy Magnanimity, fix this problem with haste please, thank you, with extra sacrificial sheep on top'.
Notch didn't even like mutton. It was stringy and got stuck in his teeth a lot.
He shifted to a cross legged position on his throne, propped his chin up with a hand, and let out Despondent Melodramatic Sigh No.3449.
It had been four hours since Jeb last exploded his lab and Notch was beginning to miss the commotion. Maybe he'll wait for him to do it again and use it as an excuse to pop over and tell him off. Maybe even shake a finger disapprovingly at him.
How exciting the world could be at times.
He slumped further into his throne and Despondent Melodramatic Sigh No.3450 made its appearance known.
The one other person in the Aether was Steve, a human. One of the people from Notch's main strike force (his only strike force) who used to be named the Elites, until some drunk deity made fun of the sheer pompousness of it in front of an audience too large for even Notch to live down. Nowadays the Rangers operated on a marginally stricter code of secrecy in tracking down their targets of various assorted villainy, monster congregations, and the occasional idiot running around with white contact lenses and fire charges.
Every one of the Rangers were currently out handling something or another. There'd been a recent insurgence of monster activity. Hmmm.
Except for Steve, who was taking a break after an unfortunate run-in with a small white rabbit. The Aether was the only place he could take a break safely. The last three times Steve had taken his holiday in the Overworld he had stumbled upon a nest of bandits, discovered a giant zombie, and walked right into the lair of an illegal llama dealer. So therefore, for the peace of his mind and everyone else's, he had to spend all his holidays in the Aether.
The child was a magnet for misfortune, Notch mused. It was almost like Fate. But of course, he knew better.
But talking about his Elites...
Oh. Hmmm. there's still one missing from a few years ago. Karin, was it? She'd gone missing on the way to kill a giant zombie. Which was, frankly, more bark than bite. Anyone could kill one with the right weapon. Or just set it on fire. There'd been search parties, of course, though they still haven't got an inkling of where she could've gone. Maybe she'd just run away. If that was the case, Notch really couldn't blame her.
"Let there be light," Notch said aloud. And Lo, there was light. "I'm bored," he said, and became even more so. He almost wished Jeb would blow something up.
Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. There was a spare Ranger. There was also a missing Ranger. A years-old cold case, mystery and intrigue galore... huh. Steve had an almost uncanny knack for running into trouble when you least expect it, and perhaps Karin was hiding all that time. Search parties are big, and easy to spot for someone who wanted to hide. One person, though... Knowing Steve, he'd trip over her and not realize it.
Notch snapped his fingers and a flash of golden light lit up the room, then faded away to reveal a young man who, after walking two steps, collided with a pillar and fell flat on his face.
"Ah!" Notch said cheerily. "I was just looking for you!"
"That's great, Notch," said the man, staring at an area above Notch's left ear with a glassy look on his face. "It's nice that one of us can take enjoyment in something accomplished. I lost my page."
He opened and closed his right fist, and the realisation he wasn't holding anything dawned upon him.
"Actually, I lost the whole book. Can I have it back?"
"Later, later," Notch chuckled. "I have a quest for you, ranger. Sylder's quite a nice place this time of year, and all you need to do is a little check up, just to make sure the Royal family hasn't, ah, started worshipping the Devil, that sort of thing."
"But," Steve began. Then he stopped as if waiting for somebody to drop the punchline.
"Speak, my child."
"I'm bad at politics. Really bad."
"Human lives are an endless path of improvement, would you not agree?"
"Your Grace, I started a civil war."
"Mistakes are to be learnt from. I'm quite confident you have learnt your lesson about, ah, hitting dignitaries with shovels.'
"But," Steve said, and stopped again. "Yeah, that won't happen again, sir."
"I'm sure you will be just fine," Notch said in a tone of adamantine cheerfulness. "I shall ask Jeb to transport you to the Overworld-"
A muffled boom rocked the palace. Notch turned automatically to face the entrance of the throne room.
Exactly four seconds later, a coughing Valkyrie appeared in the doorway, trailing smoke. "My Lord, Jeb has requested that you do not send for him at the moment. He is busy rebuilding the Labs" the Valkyrie paused, smoke rising from his nostrils. "Er... he also told me to say... 'Wasn't my fault'."
"... It seems like Jeb won't be joining us today. Very well, you are free to go"
"...Very good, sir."
"Ah, well," Notch said conversationally as the Valkyrie stumbled out of sight. "Mistakes to be learnt from. Even Jeb makes them. But as it seems, I will have to teleport you myself. It's quite simple," he said, almost to himself. "Nothing to be worried about. I, in my infinite knowledge, recognize the location of Sylder down it its very historical roots. Of course."
Steve felt a sudden sense of impending doom.
Steve appeared in a flash of golden light, smack dab in the middle of a forest. "Hello, Your Highness" he said to a nearby tree. "How are you doing today?"
It didn't take a genius to figure out that he was not in Sylder City. Notch, in his infinite wisdom, was apparently unable to read block coordinates. An issue Steve would have usually sympathised with, if he wasn't being personally victimised by it.
His horse snorted, and pranced around. Steve sighed. "The only reason I took you along was because you were the last horse in the stables. And the reason for that is because no one wanted you. So you'd better behave yourself."
He could swear he felt the horse rolling its eyes in the dark, even though he couldn't see it.
Oh, wait.
Night time.
Ohhhhhhh-
Urrnngh.
Steve whipped around on the horse, trying to pinpoint the groan. It refused to budge. Steve cursed, spotting the undead parody of a humanoid shuffling closer and closer to him just before the stench of rotting flesh hit his nose. He waited for the zombie to come within striking distance.
Closer and closer. Just before it could come close enough to touch the horse, Steve reached inside his Inventory for his weapon, and smacked the zombie on the head with a diamond shovel.
Keeping tidy Inventories was a simple and important survival strategy that he had apparently forgotten.
The zombie stumbled back, disorientated. Steve put the shovel back into his Inventory and reached for his actual weapon.
He ended up with a flint and steel.
Ah well, this would have to do. Steve clicked the flint and steel together a few times and proceeded to set the rotting monstrosity on fire. It did the job quite nicely.
After intensive wheedling and some bribery, Steve persuaded the horse to gallop towards the brightly lit place that he'd spotted while standing up on the horse's back. He hoped it was Sylder City. It would be very awkward for everyone involved if it wasn't, because Notch wasn't the only person in the Aether who couldn't read block coordinates.
The guards at the gates frowned, watching a figure covered in rotten flesh and bone dust ride haphazardly out of the Sylder Forest on a prancing horse that would do better in a dance club.
"...State your name and business" one of them spoke, a hand on his iron sword and evidently not paid enough to deal with this kind of thing that late into the night..
The stranger dismounted and trudged over, before shoving the handle of a sheathed sword under their noses, showing the deer insignia carved onto the hilt. "Name's Steve. Notch sent me. Please let me in so I can tell him your royal family isn't committing blasphemy. Thank you. It's been a long night."
The guards exchanged a glance. "Yeah, mate," One of them muttered. "You don't say."