SAILOR MOON: 1987
OKAY, HERE'S THE DRILL: ANY RESEMBLANCE BETWEEN MYSELF AND NAOKO TAKEUCHI, WHO ORIGINALLY CREATED SAILOR MOON, IS NON-EXISTENT. IN OTHER WORDS, I DIDN'T CREATE SAILOR MOON, NAOKO TAKEUCHI DID.
EPISODE 26: CHIBI-USA
FEBRUARY 14, 1987
TRI CITY PARK, PLACENTIA, CALIFORNIA 12:30 PM
John McCoy and Usagi Tsukino found a table near the lake, and set up their picnic. John put a disposable paper tablecloth on the table, using masking tape to secure it. They had sandwiches from a local sandwich shop(John had salami and pepperoni with bacon, Usagi had a ham and turkey club), with potato chips, potato salad, pickle spears, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, and Martinelli's sparkling apple cider. As they sat down, John used the bottle opener on his keychain to open one of the bottles of cider, and poured it for himself and Usagi.
"This definitely isn't what every other couple is doing for Valentine's Day," Usaigi said.
"Definitely," John said. "Any guy can take his girl to a fancy restaurant for Valentine's day, but not everyone can make a picnic with deli sandwiches romantic."
"To be honest with you," Usagi said, "It doesn't really matter what we do, just that you don't forget Valentine's day."
"Not on your life," John said.
"I wonder if any of the others have dates today," Usagi said.
"Rae is going to a movie with Darien Shields," John said. "Gregory Wolf is taking Ami to the Valentine's day dance at Tynes Gym, Mina has a date with some guy from her old church, all I know about him is he goes to Servite. As for Mary Ann, she's being a bit tight lipped about what she has planned for today, or even if she's spending the day with anyone."
"You and I are spending the day together," Usagi said.
Later, John and Usagi walked through the park, and found themselves near the park's lake. As John kissed Usagi, a metal object, about the size of a bowling ball, and resembling a black cat's head, fell out of the sky and harmlessly hit him on the head. "What just happened?" Usagi asked.
"I'm not sure," John said, as the sky opened up in a puff of pink smoke, and a pink haired girl of approximately 9 years of age, and with her hair in the same hairstyle as Usagi, fell out of the sky, knocking Usagi down, and landing in John's arms, kissing him.
"You almost broke my neck, girlie!" Usagi said, upset at what had happened. "And while you're at it, get your filthy hands off my guy!"
"Alright," the girl said, pointing a gun at Usagi's head, "Where is it?"
"Where is what?" Usagi asked.
"Don't play dumb with me," the girl said. "You know exactly what I want. Now give it, or I swear, I will pull the trigger."
"Hey cotton candy head!" John said, "Drop the gun!"
"Stay out of this," the girl said. "This is between me and her. And my name's not girlie, or cotton candy head, my name is Usagi Ikuko Caryn Serenity Small Lady Tsukino-McCoy. If that's too much of a mouthful for you, you can call me Chibi-Usa."
"But I'm Usagi Tsukino," Usagi said. "Even if my middle name is Keiko."
"What are you doing using my name, and wearing your hair in my hairstyle?" Chibi-Usa asked. "And you're still not giving me what I want. I swear, if you don't give it to me before I count to three, I will pull the trigger."
"Be reasonable," John said.
"One," Chibi-Usa said.
"At least tell me what you want," Usagi said.
"Two," Chibi-Usa said.
"I'm done fucking around," John said, grabbing Chibi-Usa from behind.
"Three!" 'Chibi-Usa said, pulling the trigger, as John unsuccessfully reached for the gun. Instead of the sound of a gunshot, the barrel unfolded, and out came a "BANG" flag.
"Am I dead?" Usagi asked, as she came to.
"No," John said, showing Usagi the gun, with the "BANG!" flag still sticking out of the barrel.
"Come on," Chibi-Usa said, "Can't you two take a joke?"
"A joke is one thing," Usagi said. "But you took that one a little too far."
"I have to agree," John said. "And I'm not the one who had a gun pointed at their head."
"But you do have what I'm looking for, bunhead," Chibi-Usa said.
"And what exactly is it you're looking for?" Usagi asked.
"The Legendary Silver Millennium Crystal," Chibi-Usa said.
"And why do you need it, anyways?" John asked.
"Just give me the Legendary Silver Millennium Crystal," Chibi-Usa said.
"I don't have it," Usagi said.
"Don't tell me you let it fall into the wrong hands," Chibi-Usa said.
"No," John said. "I can assure you we didn't let it fall into the wrong hands. We can't tell you where it is, but Usagi and I can assure you that wherever it is, it is definitely safe from falling into the wrong hands."
"What do you need it for, anyways?" Usagi asked.
"Give me the Crystal and we'll talk," Chibi-Usa said.
"How about this," John said. "You tell us exactly why you need the Legendary Silver Millennium Crystal, and Usagi and I will decide whether or not we want to help you."
"You don't have to be mean about it," Chibi-Usa said, as she started to cry.
"You might as well tell them," the cat head shaped object that preceded Chibi-Usa said.
"I have to agree with your little toy," Usagi said.
"Luna-P isn't a toy," Chibi-Usa said. "She's a highly advanced computer, among other things. But she does have a point. I'm beginning to suspect myself that the only way I'm going to get anywhere with the two of you is if I tell you why I need the Crystal. I need it to save my mommy."
"Why do we need the Crystal to save your mom?" John asked.
"You might not believe it if I told you," Chibi-Usa said.
"Try us," Usagi said.
"I'm from the future," Chibi-Usa said.
"And I have a feeling our meeting was no accident," John said.
"My mommy told me that if anything ever happened to her or daddy, I was to go back in time and look for Sailor Moon and Golden Hawk," Chibi-Usa said.
"How did you know we were them?" Usagi asked.
"I'll have my mommy tell you," Chibi-Usa said. "Once we rescue her."
"I'll call in the rest of the team," Usagi said, as John transformed into Golden Hawk.
"Not necessary," Chibi-Usa said. "I just need the two of you."
"Pretty Soldier of the Moon, Make-Up!" Usagi said, and was transformed into Sailor Moon.
"I'll go retrieve the Legendary Silver Millennium Crystal," Golden Hawk said.
"Hurry back," Sailor Moon said.
Golden Hawk disappeared, and reappeared a few seconds later, holding the Legendary Silver Millennium Crystal. "Sorry it took so long," he said.
"You were gone about three seconds," Chibi-Usa said.
"Where did you go to, anyways?" Sailor Moon asked.
"Hammerspace," Golden Hawk said.
"Hammerspace?" Sailor Moon and Chibi-Usa asked in unison.
"Remember when I first told you I was Golden Hawk, and said my power is the ability to tap into energy from an alien dimension?" Golden Hawk said. "Anyways, the dimension is named after that one town in Wales with the really long name."
"Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogeryhwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch," Chibi-Usa said.
"Maybe they can bury you there," a man with short cropped black hair, and wearing a black tank top, a web belt, and green camouflage pants tucked into mid calf high black combat boots said. He also had a black crescent moon, pointing downward, on his forehead. "I want to thank you, Rabbit, for finding the Legendary Silver Millennium Crystal from this time period for me. As a reward, I'll kill you quick, clean, and painlessly."
"I have no idea who the hell you are," Golden Hawk said, stepping in front of Chibi-Usa, "but if you want to kill her, you're going to have to go through me."
"And to get to him," Sailor Moon said, stepping in front of Golden Hawk, "You're going to have to go through me."
"If I have to go through you two," the man said, "I will. My name is Rubeus, and since I told you who I am, I think it only cricket for you two to tell me who you are."
"I am the Pretty Soldier of Love and Justice," Sailor Moon said. "I am Sailor Moon, and in the name of the Moon, I will punish you!"
"And I am the Heavy Metal Suburban Vigilante for 1987," Golden Hawk said. "I am Golden Hawk, and in the name of everything awesome and wicked cool, I will kick your ass!"
"And my name isn't Rabbit," Chibi-Usa said. "My name is Usagi Ikuko Caryn Serenity Small Lady Tsukino-McCoy, or, if you insist, Chibi-Usa."
"Usagi is the Japanese word for rabbit," Golden Hawk said. "So in a way, your name is rabbit."
"Okay, so my name does mean rabbit," Chibi-Usa said.
"Fine," Rubeus said. "If you insist on being called Chibi-Usa, I'll make sure they carve that on your tombstone.
"We don't think so," a voice came from above.
"Who the hell is that?" Rubeus asked.
"I am the Pretty Soldier of Love and Intellingence. My name is Sailor Mercury, and in the name of Mercury, douse yourself in water and repent!"
"I am the Pretty Soldier of Love and Passion. My name is Sailor Mars, and in the name of Mars, I shall chastise you!"
"I am the Pretty Soldier of Love and Beauty. My name is Sailor Venus, and in the name of Venus, I will punish evil with love!"
"I am the Pretty Soldier of Love and Courage. My name is Sailor Jupiter, and in the name of Jupiter, it's time to ride the lightning!"
"Now I know how John Wayne felt when the Cavalry showed up," Golden Hawk said.
"But how did you know?" Sailor Moon said.
"I called them," Artemis said, from a nearby tree.
"Artemis and I were keeping an eye on the two of you the whole time," Luna said.
"Anyways," Golden Hawk said, "There are six of us, and only one of you. Well, eight, if you count felines."
"Which means you'll have a few more people to get through to get at me," Chibi-Usa said.
"If that's the way you want to play it," Rubeus said, "I'll just even the odds a little."
When Rubeus said that, he snapped his fingers, and several demons appeared on the scene. "We'll take care of them," Sailor Venus said.
"I'll protect Chibi-Usa," Sailor Moon said.
"I'm assuming that's the pink haired girl's name," Sailor Mars said.
"Come with me," Sailor Moon said, taking Chibi-Usa's hand.
"What about your friends?" Chibi-Usa asked.
"We can handle ourselves," Golden Hawk said, taking his staff, transforming it into a laser sword, and decapitating one of the demons.
"Mercury, Hail Storm!" Sailor Mercury said, attacking another demon with a barrage of hailstones, eventually destroying it.
Meanwhile, a pair of demons charged Sailor Venus and Sailor Mars. "Venus Crescent Beam!" Sailor Venus said. "Mars Fire Soul!" Sailor Mars said. Sailor Venus's attack destroyed the demon about to attack Sailor Mars, while Sailor Mars's attack destroyed the demon about to attack Sailor Venus. "Best friends forever!" Sailor Venus and Sailor Mars said in unison, as both demons fell.
"Sparkling Wide Pressure!" Sailor Jupiter said, throwing a ball of lightning at another demon, destroying it.
Meanwhile, the remainder of the demons decided to focus their attention on Golden Hawk. "I think he needs our help," Sailor Mars said.
"Nah," Golden Hawk said, hooking his laser sword to his belt, and unsheathing his tonfas. "There's only a dozen of them left. I can handle them. Channeling energy through his tonfas, he used them as blasters, making short work of the remaining demons. "Some days," he said, as the last demon fell, "it's so easy, I almost feel ashamed of myself."
"Go help Sailor Moon protect the girl," Sailor Mercury said. "We'll hold Rambo's evil twin off until you get back."
Golden Hawk quickly made his way to where Sailor Moon and Chibi-Usa were. "I'll take it from here," Golden Hawk said. "Now Chibi-Usa," he continued, as he got down on one knee, "if you'll be so kind as to climb up onto my back, I'll take you someplace where Rubeus can't get to you."
"I have no idea where we're going, but my mommy and daddy told me I can trust you," Chibi-Usa said. "So where are we going, anyways?"
"You'll find out soon enough," Golden Hawk said, as they disappeared, as if Golden Hawk was standing on a trap door.
"Where are we?" Chibi-Usa said, as they arrived at their destination, and Golden Hawk let her off his back.
"Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogeryhwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch," Golden Hawk said. "Or, as I prefer calling it, Hammerspace. You'll be safe here from Rubeus, so just sit tight, and I'll be back as soon as my friends and I take care of him."
A couple seconds in real time after he left, Golden Hawk returned to the battle. "Where's Chibi-Usa?" Sailor Moon asked.
"I left her in Hammerspace," Golden Hawk said. "I'll explain it once we neutralize the threat at hand."
"Right," Sailor Moon said. "Hit this guy with everything we got."
"Sparkling Wide Pressure!" Sailor Jupiter said, throwing balls of lightning at Rubeus.
"Mars Flaming Mandala!" Sailor Mars said, throwing fireballs at Rubeus.
"Mercury Hailstorm Barrage!" Sailor Mercury said, assaulting Rubeus with large hailstones.
"Venus Crescent Beam Spray!" Sailor Venus said, hitting Rubeus with a series of crescent shaped energy blasts.
"Shoot to kill!" Golden Hawk said, channeling energy through his tonfas, using them as blasters to hit Rubeus with blaster bolts.
Sailor Moon combined the Legendary Silver Millennium Crystal with her Moon Stick, and transformed the Moon Stick into a staff. "Moon Ultimate Helation!" she said, firing a blast of pure white energy at Rubeus, just as Golden Hawk sheathed his tonfas, unsheathed his staff, and transformed it into a halberd, firing a blast of energy from it, which combined with Sailor Moon's attack, to destroy Rubeus. When he was destroyed, all that was left was a crystal, which appeared to be an exact duplicate of the Legendary Silver Millennium Crystal. Golden Hawk went to grab it, but it disappeared before he could.
"I'll go get Chibi-Usa," Golden Hawk said, disappearing, and reappearing a couple seconds later, with Chibi-Usa on his back.
"What happened to Rubeus?" Chibi-Usa asked.
"We killed him,"Sailor Moon said. "He's no longer a threat."
"Did you retrieve the Legendary Silver Millennium Crystal?" Chibi-Usa asked.
"We already have it," Golden Hawk said.
"Isn't that what you came to us for in the first place?" Sailor Moon asked.
"I mean the Legendary Silver Millennium Crystal from my time," Chibi-Usa said. "Rubeus stole it from my time, and somehow he followed me back to 1987."
"Why would he need two Legendary Silver Millennium Crystals?" Sailor Mars asked.
"I think I know," Golden Hawk said. "He wanted ours to keep Chibi-Usa from using it for whatever she needed it for in the first place."
"Give the masked man a cigar," Chibi-Usa said.
"But now that we have ours, and Rubeus is out of the picture," Golden Hawk said, "Let's go to the future and save Chibi-Usa's mom."
"I know you wear the mask to protect your identity," Chibi-Usa said, "but you're not going to need it where we're going."
"That's a relief," Golden Hawk said, removing his mask, and placing it in a pouch on his belt.
"Now hold on," Chibi-Usa said, grabbing a small key on the chain that hung from her neck.
"Why don't I carry you on my back again," Golden Hawk said, getting down on his knees.
"Perfect," Chibi-Usa said. Now everybody grab on to either me or Golden Hawk. "Key of time," she said, once everyone had hung on, "Take my friends and I back home."
Next thing anyone knew, they were in Placentia, but what could be described as a utopian version of the twenty-first century as imagined in the 1950s, or as if designed by someone obsessed with Googie architecture, however, transformed into a demilitarized zone. However, in the middle of it all, was a palace straight out of a fairy tale, albeit made of crystal, surrounded by a lush garden, one that could be described as paradise on Earth. "Oh man," Golden Hawk said, "The castle looks untouched, but every place else, it looks like The Jetsons after World Wars III through IX."
"That was Rubeus's doing," Chibi-Usa said. "My mommy managed to shield the Crystal Palace, before she fell. As long as the Crystal Palace remains intact, the Silver Millennium can be restored."
The team made their way to the palace, where they were met by a small gray kitten, with a bell around its neck. "Hello Small Lady," the kitten said. "And hello to Small Lady's friends."
"Hello Diana," Chibi-Usa said, getting off of Golden Hawk's back.
"I trust you were successful in retrieving the Legendary Silver Millennium Crystal from the past," Diana said.
"Yes," Chibi-Usa said.
"Hello father," Diana said, rubbing against Artemis.
"Father?" Artemis asked.
"You have a daughter?" Luna asked.
"What makes you think I have a daughter?" Artemis asked.
"That kitten just called you father," Luna said. "She has a crescent moon on her forehead, and she speaks, so she has to be your daughter. What do you do, go fooling around with some alley cat in the future?"
"Uh Luna," Sailor Mercury said, "you have a crescent moon on your forehead, and you speak."
"What are you implying?" Luna asked.
"I think I know," Sailor Mars said. "Ami's implying the alley cat Artemis fools around with is Luna."
"What?" Luna asked.
"They're right, mother," Diana said.
"I have a daughter in the future," Luna said.
"You're not the only one," a man dressed as a fairy tale prince said. He bore a strong resemblance to John McCoy, but a few years older, with long hair tied back in a ponytail, and a neatly trimmed mustache and goatee.
"Hi daddy," Chibi-Usa said.
"Welcome home, Chibi-Usa," he said. "I trust you took care of Rubeus, since I no longer sense him, present, past, or future."
"He's gone," Sailor Moon said. "We sent him on a one-way trip to Hell."
"Were you able to retrieve the Legendary Silver Millennium Crystal he stole?" the man said.
"Unfortunately no," Chibi-Usa said. "But I did bring the one from the past."
"I hope it works," the man said. "By the way, judging by the way everyone's looking at me, you figured who I am. And you're correct, I'm John McCoy, the one you call Golden Hawk."
"So I still have my movie star good looks in the future," Golden Hawk said. "Now let's go save Neo Queen Serenity."
Everybody made their way into a chamber, where a large rectangular crystal was lying on a platform. Encased inside the crystal was what appeared to be Usagi Tsukino, albeit several years older. She was wearing a white strapless gown, with bare feet, pale pink nail polish on fingers and toes. When Sailor Moon saw the figure inside the crystal, she realized who it was. "Was it painless in the end" Sailor Moon asked.
"You're not dead," the older version of John McCoy said. "You've been placed in Eternal Sleep. It's like death, but you don't cross over to the other side. But now that we have the Legendary Silver Millennium Crystal from 1987, we might be able to bring her back."
Chibi-Usa held the crystal up, and the room was bathed in a pure white light. However, there was no change to the crystal that held Neo Queen Serenity. "I'm sorry, mommy," Chibi-Usa said. "I tried to save you." She began crying, when the first tear ran down her cheek, it transformed into another Legendary Silver Millennium Crystal. As Chibi-Usa's tear transformed into the crystal, the room was once again bathed in a pure, bright white light, causing the crystal holding the body of Neo Queen Serenity to disappear, and Neo Queen Serenity to be restored to full life. Without saying a word, Neo Queen Serenity took the Legendary Silver Millennium Crystal from Chibi-Usa, and flew to above the Crystal Palace, where she held the Crystal above her head. The Crystal sent out waves of energy, restoring the Silver Millennium to its full glory.
"It is finished, the Silver Millennium is restored," Neo Queen Serenity said, as she returned to the Crystal Palace. "I see you brought your father's and my younger selves, and our friends, as well," she said.
"You and daddy told me if things got too bad, Sailor Moon and Golden Hawk would protect me," Chibi-Usa said.
"How would you like a tour of the Silver Millennium?" Neo Queen Serenity asked.
"Sure," Golden Hawk said.
Neo Queen Serenity took Golden Hawk and the 1987 Sailor Soldiers, along with Luna and Artemis, on a tour of the Silver Millennium, which resembled a 1950s look at the future, as designed by someone with an obsession with Googie architecture. The teens were amazed at how clean everything was, how the Silver Millennium was free of sickness, pollution, poverty, crime, homelessness, and many of the other things that plagued 1987.
"There's one thing I don't get," Sailor Venus said, once they got back to the Crystal Palace. "This palace, and the garden surrounding it, looks like something out of a fairy tale, but the rest of Silver Millennium looks like something out of The Jetsons. It's like a 1950s look at the future."
"You can thank King Gōrudenhōku for that," Neo Queen Serenity said. "He was always a fan of Googie, and how people of the 1950s thought the future would be. He always admired the optimism people had back then for the future, he always said how people of the future thought progress would solve society's ills and make the world a better place was his ultimate vision of paradise."
"Better living through progress," Golden Hawk said. "Using tomorrow's discoveries in science and technology to solve the problems of today. Imagine a world where everyone has food in their belly, clothes on their back, and a roof over their head. Pollution, hunger, poverty, and homelessness are only found in the dictionary. A world that is more efficient,
"And who would Prince Gōrudenhōku be?" Sailor Moon asked.
"That would be me," the future John McCoy said. "I took the Gōrudenhōku name after I married Usagi, and she took the mantle of Neo Queen Serenity."
"Where did you come up with Gōrudenhōku anyways?" Chibi-Usa asked.
"I can answer that," Golden Hawk said. "Gōrudenhōku is my CB handle. It's Japanese for golden hawk."
"And when Usagi took the mantle of Neo Queen Serenity," future John said, "I assumed the name of Gōrudenhōku as my royal name. When our daughter was born, we named her Usagi, after her mother's Earth name. But one day, she will assume the mantle of Princess Serenity, and later, Neo Queen Serenity. But that's in the future. For now, she's just Usagi Small Lady Tsukino-McCoy. And one other thing about the Silver Millennium. Racism, hatred, bigotry, prejudice, discrimination, exclusion, those are also words that only exist in the dictionary. The Silver Millennium is a world that only knows love, compassion, inclusion. A world where people aren't divided by differences, but united by love."
"It's time for you to go back to your time," Neo Queen Serenity said. "And even though I know you're yet unable to bring forth Silver Millennium, there are things you can do."
"As well as things we've already done," Sailor Moon said, as she, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Mars, Sailor Venus, Sailor Jupiter, Golden Hawk, Luna, and Artemis returned to 1987.
MEANWHILE, BACK IN SILVER MILLENNIUM
"It was nice meeting your younger selves," Chibi-Usa said, once the Sailor Soldier team returned to their own time.
"Would you like to spend more time with them?" Neo Queen Serenity asked.
"Yes," Chibi-Usa said. "I love you and daddy, but I would like to get to know your younger versions a little better."
"I'm glad to hear it," Gōrudenhōku said. "Because one day soon, you will be spending some time with them."
"I will?" Chibi-Usa asked.
"Yes," Neo Queen Serenity said. "Once your Sailor Soldier powers awaken, you'll be sent back to train."
UNTIL NEXT TIME...
OUR NEXT EPISODE: SAILOR SOLDIER IN TRAINING