SAILOR MOON: 1987
I CHECK MY REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR AGAINST A PHOTOGRAPH OF NAOKO TAKEUCHI NOPE, AIN'T HER. I DIDN'T CREATE SAILOR MOON, I DON'T HAVE A BROTHER NAMED SHINGO, MY DAD AIN'T KENJI, AND MY MOM'S NAME IS SHARON, NOT IKUKO.
EPISODE 27: SAILOR SOLDIER IN TRAINING
MARCH 7, 1987
DOWNTOWN BREA, CALIFORNIA 11:30 AM
Golden Hawk was only slightly in over his head. He may have been evenly matched against his opponent, one on one, however, his opponent was more than a match for him. He had been trying to call his teammates for help, but his opponent wouldn't give him a second to activate his communicator. Unable to call for help, Golden Hawk did the one thing he was able to do: hold his own as well as he could.
One advantage Golden Hawk's opponent had was a prehensile tail, which he could use as a third arm. He whipped it, Golden Hawk was able to avoid it several times. Finally, the opponent used his tail to grab Golden Hawk by the neck. Golden Hawk was about to activate the emergency alarm in his communicator, when he felt himself about to pass out from lack of oxygen.
"Pink Sugar, Heart Attack!" a voice called, just before Golden Hawk passed out from lack of oxygen. The monster he was fighting was hit by heart shaped bolts of pink energy, which caused it to drop Golden Hawk. As he fell and caught his breath, he saw a girl, approximately 11 years of age, wearing a costume similar to the one worn by Sailor Moon, except trimmed in pink and red. "You ever think of, I don't know, calling for help?" she asked.
"What do you think I was trying to do for the last ten minutes?" Golden Hawk said. "It's that this thing wouldn't let me. It wouldn't let up for a second. Anyways, thanks for the save there. Now time to finish this thing off." He transformed his staff into an extremely powerful blaster. "Now think of this thing as the Death Star," he said, and to the monster, he added "And your ass is Alderaan!" He fired a single shot, which destroyed the monster. As he defeated his opponent, he removed his mask, as the girl who helped him transformed from a Sailor Soldier to Chibi-Usa, aka Usagi Ikuko Caryn Serenity Small Lady Tsukino-McCoy.
"I'm back!" Chibi-Usa said, running up to Golden Hawk, and hugging him as tightly as she could.
"Glad to see you too, Chibi-Usa," Golden Hawk said, transforming back to John McCoy, and returning his future daughter's hug. "What are you doing here, anyways?"
"My Sailor Soldier powers have activated," Chibi-Usa said. "Mom and dad sent me back to 1987, to train as a Sailor Soldier."
"I'm here, too," Diana, Chibi-Usa's guardian kitten, said. "I'm here to keep watch over Small Lady."
"This is Big Bird," John said into his communicator. "I'm calling a Sailor Soldier meeting, ASAP."
"This is Marvin," Rae Hinowski said over her communicator. "All clear, come on over."
A minute later, John and Chibi-Usa arrived at the ADU attached to Cathy Hinowski's house. "Hi Chibi-Usa," Rae said, hugging her.
"Hi Rae," Chibi-Usa said.
"What are you doing here, anyways?" Rae asked.
"I'll answer that once everyone else shows up," John said.
"Answer what once everyone else shows up?" Mina Webb asked.
"What I'm doing here," Chibi-Usa said.
"That's what I want to know myself," Ami Andersen said, as she, Mary Ann Kino, and Usagi Tsukino arrived, along with Luna and Artemis.
"I'd like to welcome everybody here to the inaugural class in the Suburban Vigilante department of the Sunny Hills Institute of Technology."
"I thought we went to El Dorado, not Sunny Hills," Ami said.
"I'm aware of that fact," John said. "But trust me on this one, it's funnier to use Sunny Hills. Anyways, I'd like to introduce our faculty. First, we have the professor of love and justice, from the Moon, Usagi Tsukino. Next, from Mercury, the professor of love and intelligence, Ami Andersen. Next, the professor of love and beauty, from Venus, Mina Webb. Next, the professor of love and passion, Rae Hinowski. Next, from Jupiter, the professor of love and courage, Mary Ann Kino. Next, our mascots and guardian felines, from the agency known only as M.E.O.W., Luna and Artemis. Last, but certainly not least, we have the head of the Suburban Vigilante department, the professor of heavy metal and all that is awesome and wicked cool, the Gōrudenhōku himself, John McCoy. Now that we have the teaching staff taken care of, I would like to introduce our student body. I would like to present our sole student, Usagi Small Lady Tsukino-McCoy, otherwise known as Chibi-Usa, or, as of this moment, a Super Hero In Training. Here is our other student, majoring in being a good feline sidekick, Chibi-Usa's guardian kitten, Diana."
"What exactly does a feline sidekick do, anyways?" Diana asked. "For that matter, what is a feline?"
"Feline is just another word for cat," Ami said.
"What she said," John said. "Anyways, Luna and Artemis are in charge of the Feline Sidekick department, being they're the only felines on the teaching staff."
"Your first lesson," Artemis said. "Repeat after me. Meow."
"Meow," Diana said, sounding like a normal cat.
"Unless you're around someone who is aware that Artemis and I are capable of human speech," Luna said, "Meow is the only thing any of us want to hear from you."
"I don't think people in 1987 are aware that Neo Queen Serenity and Prince Gōrudenhōku have guardian cats who speak," Chibi-Usa said. "But I suppose there are people who are aware that Luna and Artemis speak."
"Basically," Artemis said, "If you hear Luna or I speak, we're around people it's safe to speak around."
"As for our other student," John said, "Chibi-Usa, your first lesson is coming up with an introduction for yourself."
"We all have them," Mary Ann said.
"We worked on them over time," Ami said.
"I am the Heavy Metal Suburban Vigilante for 1987," John said. "My name is Golden Hawk, and in the name of all that is awesome and wicked cool, I will kick you ass! That's what I use now."
"Please do the full version," Usagi said. "It's been a while since I've heard your full introduction."
"I am the Heavy Metal Suburban Vigilante for the late 1980s," John said. "I stand for rock and roll, I stand for baseball, I stand for apple pie, I stand for Disneyland, and I stand with Sailor Moon and her friends, and all they stand for, and anyone who wants to harm the innocent has to go through me. My name is Golden Hawk, and in the name of all that is awesome and wicked cool, I will kick your ass!"
"So why did you shorten it in the first place?" Mary Ann asked.
"I realized it took longer to introduce myself than I spent fighting," John said.
"Now here's mine," Usagi said. "I am the Pretty Soldier of Love and Justice. I am Sailor Moon, and in the name of the Moon, I will punish you!"
"Here's mine," Ami said. "I am the Pretty Soldier of Love and Intelligence. I am Sailor Mercury, and in the name of Mercury, douse yourself in water and repent!"
"I think I have one," Chibi-Usa said. "I am the Pretty Soldier in training. I am Sailor Chibi Moon, and in the name of the Future Moon, I'll punish you!"
"Works for me," John said. "Anyways, was Neo Queen Serenity clear on who was responsible for training you?"
"I almost forgot," Chibi-Usa said, handing John an envelope. "My mom wanted me to have you read this to the Sailor Soldiers."
"Okay," John said, opening the letter, and putting on a pair of reading glasses. "Dear Sailor Soldiers and Golden Hawk, I am trusting you to train Princess Usagi Ikuko Caryn Serenity Small Lady Tsukino-McCoy, henceforth known as Chibi-Usa, in the ways of the Sailor Soldiers. And yes, John, I want you involved in her training as well. There are things you can teach her about being a superhero that my younger self or the other Sailor Soldiers are unable to teach her. I intend for Chibi-Usa's training in 1987 to be threefold. Luna, Diana will assist you in training her to be a princess. Rae, Mina, Ami, Mary Ann, and my younger self, you will train her in the ways of the Sailor Soldiers. And as for you, John, you will train her to be a superhero. If you look into your heart, you will know the difference in training her as a Sailor Soldier and training her as a superhero, or, as you call yourself, a suburban vigilante. I trust you will teach her more than just using her powers, or how to fight, but to teach her to be a real hero. King Gōrudenhōku and I trust we are leaving our daughter in good hands. Please do not disappoint us. With love, Neo Queen Serenity, otherwise known as Usagi Keiko Tsukino-McCoy."
"That's it?" Usagi asked.
"Not really," John said, taking another envelope out of the envelope Chibi-Usa gave him, and putting it in the inside pocket of his jacket. "But the rest is marked for my eyes only."
"So when do I begin my training for real?" Chibi-Usa asked.
"Right after lunch," John said. "Your first lesson will be on the importance of SLS."
"SLS?" Chibi-Usa asked.
"Street Level Surveillance," Usagi said.
"It's what the 17 year old version of your father calls going out on patrol," Ami said.
"Right," John said. "Taking you out on patrol will also give me an opportunity to give you the lay of the land. Flight is one of your powers, right?"
"Yes," Chibi-Usa said. "I can fly."
"Good," John said. "I'd rather wait until you're a bit more familiar with the Tri City area in 1987 before I have you teleporting anywhere."
John and Chibi-Usa went to a McDonald's near where the homeless lived in Downtown Fullerton. John got a McDLT, fries, an apple pie, and chocolate shake, while Chibi-Usa got a Big Mac, fries, a cherry pie, and chocolate shake. After lunch, John bought two large shopping bags full of cheeseburgers. "What's with all the cheeseburgers?" Chibi-Usa asked.
"The first lesson I'm going to teach you about being a hero," John said. "and no, we won't be going in costume for this one. Sometimes I do patrols incognito, that's another lesson for you. Golden Hawk stands out, John McCoy blends in. And I know homelessness is pretty much unknown in the Silver Millennium, but here in 1987, it's a thing. Anyways, my first lesson is that being a hero is more than having powers, wearing a fancy costume, and kicking bad guy butt. It's sometimes about making the world a better place than it was when you got here. That's what we're doing, we're going to give these burgers out to the homeless. And I don't look at it as a handout, I use the homeless as my eyes and ears on the street. Some people hold the homeless in the same regard they hold something they step in after someone didn't clean up after their dog. But I see them as good people who just caught some bad breaks."
UNTIL NEXT TIME...
OUR NEXT EPISODE: DOWNTIME