SAILOR MOON: 1987
(OKAY, HERE'S THE PART OF THE STORY WHERE I MENTION SOMETHING ABOUT HOW NAOKO TAKEUCHI CREATED SAILOR MOON, AND I DON'T OWN ANYTHING IN THIS STORY I DIDN'T CREATE.)
EPISODE 28: DOWNTIME
MARCH 13, 1987
CAVERN MUSIC, FULLERTON, CALIFORNIA 4:55 PM
John McCoy had just finished tuning his Gibson Explorer, when Ami Andersen arrived for her weekly lesson. She'd been playing electric guitar for the last few weeks, since she already knew how to play some chords, he had been teaching her how to play actual songs. On this particular week, he taught her to play "Cold Gin", a song written by his mom's cousin Paul Frehley, better known as Ace Frehley, and made famous by Frehley's old band KISS.
After finishing Ami's lesson, John took a short break, he used the restroom and had a couple oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and a bottle of Yoo-Hoo. When he finished his break, he went back to room 3, to wait for his newest student, who would be starting at 6:30. At 6:25, Chibi-Usa Tsukino entered the room, carrying an acoustic guitar. "You used to promise to teach me to play guitar," she said, as she entered the room.
"I assume you're talking about my future self," John said.
"Yeah," Chibi-Usa said.
"Anyways," John said, "Let's begin." He told her about the parts of the guitar, showed her the proper way to finger the fretboard, made sure her guitar was properly tuned, and even showed her how to play an A chord.
"This doesn't seem too hard," Chibi-Usa said.
"If you're willing to put in the effort," John said. "It won't be that hard. Now I have a few rules. First," he said, playing "Journey to the Center of the Mind", "I don't expect you to play like this fresh off the bat. Second, I don't mind if you wear nail polish, but I strongly recommend keeping your fingernails short. Long nails get in the way, especially on your left hand."
"I don't do my nails," Chibi-Usa said. "I hate the smell of nail polish."
"It's just something I say to all my students," John said. "Actually, I only say it to girls, but for some reason, all my students are girls."
"How come you only say it to girls?" Chibi-Usa asked.
"You know any boys who paint their nails?" John asked.
"Good point," Chibi-Usa said.
The next day, John and his band, Artificial Air(formerly Rainy Day Man), had a gig at the central plaza of Orangefair Plaza. John was the first to arrive, accompanied by his cat Artemis. John had brought his guitars, a Gibson Les Paul and a Gibson Explorer, both in black, and had set them up on stage, and began tuning his Les Paul, when Mina Webb and Rae Hinowski arrived, Rae with her guitar, a Vox Phantom VI, in red. They also had a couple bags from McDonald's, they gave John one. "We got you breakfast," Mina said, giving John one, which contained 2 Sausage McMuffins with egg and 2 orders of hash browns.
""Hope you're hungry," Rae said, giving John a bottle of Dr Pepper.
"Thanks," John said. Looking in the bag, he noticed, along with the sandwiches and hash browns, there were 2 packets of grape jam. "Thanks for remembering the jam," he said.
"You're welcome," Mina said, as Artemis sat in her lap. As John, Mina, and Rae ate, Mina rubbed Artemis's belly. "I missed you," Mina said.
"I miss living with you," Artemis said. "But living with John isn't all that bad, either. I like having another guy to talk to. But that doesn't mean I don't love you. I may be a cat, but you're like a sister to me."
"So how do you feel about all of us?" Rae asked John.
"You two are like sisters to me," John said. "Mary Ann is like my cousin, I already know I'm going to marry Usagi and have at least one child, and I've kind of taken Ami and Chibi-Usa under my wing. I don't know what it is with Chibi-Usa, whenever I see a boy as much as give her the time of day, I have this urge to hold a gun to his head and make him dig his own grave."
"That's just your paternal instincts kicking in," Nick Webb said. "There have been times I've had the urge to do things the Spanish Inquisition or the Marquis de Sade would consider excessive cruelty to boys who as much as looked at Mina. Believe me, you're not the only guy who can't stand the idea of his daughter dating."
"The thing is," John said.
"I know," Nick said. "Chibi-Usa is your daughter from the future. "But that doesn't change that paternal instinct that any boy who shows even the slightest interest in your daughter has ulterior motives. But I have to admit, making a boy dig his own grave at gunpoint is a new one."
"So it's not unusual to instantly hate any boy who would even look at my daughter?" John asked.
"It's unusual not to," Nick said. "You don't hate him, they'll kick you out of the dad union."
"Anyways," Mina said, "what are you doing here, anyways?"
"You left this," Nick said, handing Mina an acoustic guitar.
"Thanks, dad," Mina said.
"And don't worry," Nick said to John. "I realize you and Mina fought together in a war against the forces of evil. I spent some time in the Army, and I know there's a bond between soldiers. Oh, and thanks again for taking in Artemis. I realize Amanda's mother can't help being allergic to cats, but I didn't want to take him to the pound."
"My pleasure," John said. "Artemis is the brother I never had."
"Something I never expected someone to say about a cat," Nick said, as he left.
"Rae, don't forget Chris won't be here today," John said.
"I know," Rae said. "I'll be playing rhythm guitar today."
"Anyways," John said, as he finished eating, "You two mind keeping an eye on my stuff, I need to run to my car and pick up my pedals and talkbox."
"Sure," Mina said.
"You don't mind if I hang out with the girls for a bit?" Artemis asked.
"Go ahead and catch up," John said.
"I miss you," Artemis said. "But I like living with John, he really is like the brother I never had."
Later on, after Darien Shields and Molly Hogan arrived and set up, Usagi and Chibi-Usa arrived, with Luna and Diana. "What's new, pussycat?" John asked Luna, as Molly and Darien went to Tia Lupe's Taqueria for lunch.
"Meow," Luna said. "Just waiting to get some bacon."
"So how long has King Gōrudenhōku been greeting you with that, anyways?" Diana asked, as Usagi and Rae went to Ruby's to grab lunch.
"That was actually the first thing he ever said to me," Luna said.
As Ami Andersen and Mary Ann Kino arrived, with sandwiches from the deli, Usagi and Rae returned with lunch. Along with burgers, fries, onion rings, and shakes, they also got a few sides of bacon for their feline friends. "Hey Diana," John said, offering a strip to the kitten.
"What is that?" Diana asked.
"Try it," Luna said. "Trust me, would your mother ever lie to you?"
Diana took a bite of bacon. "This is good," she said.
After everyone had lunch, it was nearly time for the band to begin their first set. They had to make a few adjustments, due to Chris Forney being out of town on a family emergency. Mostly, it was Rae on rhythm guitar, instead of playing backup guitar. "Good afternoon," John said, as they all got on stage. "We're Artificial Air, formerly known as Rainy Day Man. My name is John McCoy, I play guitar and talkbox, and sing."
"I'm Rae Hinowski," Rae said. "I play guitar and bass, and sing."
"I'm Molly Hogan," Molly said. "I play bass and keyboard, and sing."
"I'm Mina Webb," Mina said. "I play keyboards and guitar, and sing."
"I'm Darien Shields," Darien said. "I don't sing much, but I play drums."
"We'd like to open with a song from just a few years ago," Mina said, as they broke into "In a Big Country" by Big Country, with John on vocals. They followed with "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac with Rae on vocals, "Stumblin' In" by Suzi Quatro and Chris Norman with John and Molly on vocals, "Rainy Day Man" with Rae on vocals, "Our Lips are Sealed" by the Go-Go's with Mina on vocals, "Parasite" by KISS with John on vocals, "Borderline" by Madonna with Rae on vocals, "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi with Molly on vocals and John on talkbox, "Hot Child in the City" by Nick Gilder with John on vocals, "Bits and Pieces" by the Dave Clark Five with Darien on vocals, "Does Your Mother Know?" by ABBA with John on vocals, and finished with "Promises in the Dark"by Pat Benatar with Mina on vocals.
After a break, the band played a second set, opening with "I Love Rock and Roll" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts with Rae on vocals, followed by "Incense and Peppermints" by Strawberry Alarm Clock with John on vocals, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper with Molly on vocals, "Pretty in Pink" by Psychedelic Furs and "New York Groove" by Ace Frehley with John on vocals, "Hero Takes a Fall" by the Bangles with Mina on vocals, "Keep Your Hands To Yourself" by Georgia Satellites with John on vocals, "These Dreams" by Heart with Molly on vocals, "Shout it Out Loud" by KISS with Mina and John on vocals, "Vive Le Rock" by Adam Ant with John on vocals, "Venus" by Shocking Blue with Mina on vocals(Molly on keyboard, Mina on acoustic guitar, and Rae on bass), and finished with "You Might Think" by the Cars with John on vocals.
After a break, the band had their final set. They kicked off their last set with "Xanadu" by Olivia Newton-John with Rae on vocals, followed by "Journey to the Center of the Mind" by Amboy Dukes with John on vocals, "Walk Like an Egyptian" by the Bangles with Rae, Mina, and Molly on vocals(Mina on guitar and John shaking a tambourine), "Open my Eyes" by Nazz with John on vocals, "Mad About You" by Belinda Carlisle with Rae on vocals, "Devil Gate Drive" by Suzi Quatro with Molly on vocals, "Next Time I Fall" by Peter Cetera and Amy Grant with John and Rae on vocals, "Mickey" by Toni Basil with Mina on vocals(Molly on keyboard and Rae on bass), "Gimme Gimme Good Loving" by Crazy Elephant with John on vocals, "Goodbye to You" by Scandal with Rae on vocals, "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" by Elton John and Kiki Dee with John and Mina on vocals(Molly on keyboard, Mina on bass), and finishing up with "Rock and Roll all Nite" by KISS, with John on vocals.
After finishing their last set and breaking down, John, Molly, Mina, and Rae went to their hangout, where they met up with Usagi, Chibi-Usa, Ami, and Mary Ann, along with Luna, Artemis, and Diana. They got several pepperoni pizzas, with anchovies on the side for the cats. "I've been thinking about something," Molly said. "John, ever since Mina and Rae joined the band, it seems like there's a secret the three of you are keeping from the rest of us."
"Actually just Chris and Darien," John said "Don't get me wrong, the two of them are still part of the band, but they both have their own lives outside the band. I've known Chris for a few years, and he's one of Darien's best friends, but I'm not close enough with either of them to let them in."
"But Rae, John, and I decided to let you in on our little secret," Mina said.
"So what do Usagi Tsukino, Ami Andersen, Mary Ann Kino, and Usagi's cousin have to do with this secret?" Molly asked.
"Because the secret John, Mina, and Rae want to share with you," Luna said, "Usagi, Ami, Mary Ann, and Chibi-Usa are also involved."
"John, did your cat just say something?" Molly asked.
"No," John said.
"I'm not John's cat," Luna said.
"I'm John's cat," Artemis said. "My name is Artemis."
"And I'm Diana," she said. "I'm their kitten from the future."
"And I'm not actually Usagi's cousin," Chibi-Usa said. "I'm the daughter she and John are going to have in the future."
"Did anyone bother checking the expiration dates on those bottles of Yoo-Hoo we were drinking between sets?" Molly asked.
"I know you've heard of Golden Hawk, Sailor Moon, and the Sailor Soldiers," Usagi said.
"Yeah," Molly said. "I mean, who hasn't?"
"Pretty Soldier of the Moon, Make-Up!" Usagi said, transforming into Sailor Moon.
"Pretty Mercury Soldier, Make-Up!"
"Pretty Mars Soldier, Make-Up!"
"Pretty Venus Soldier, Make-Up!"
"Pretty Jupiter Soldier, Make-Up!"
John disappeared, and almost immediately reappeared, transformed into Golden Hawk. "I am the heavy metal suburban vigilante for 1987. My name is Golden Hawk, and in the name of all that is awesome and wicked cool, I will kick your ass!"
"Holy shit!" Molly exclaimed, as Luna noticed the symbol for Earth momentarily appear on her forehead...
UNTIL NEXT TIME...
OUR NEXT EPISODE: SAILOR EARTH