Three parts in one day. Yeey :)

And this one is a special part. This one is about Meredith and her life, some past memories. I hope that you like this Meredith, because I want her to be like this.

Meredith was hearing her daughter crying. She opened her eyes and went to pick her up from her small bed. It was next to hers.

"Shh, Ellis, don't cry!" Meredith tried to calm her down. Boys were sleeping and she didn't want to wake them up. "Do you want to eat?"

Meredith made her way to the red cushion chair next to the windows and sat down. The moon was shining and the sea looked calm. Meredith had a great view over Seattle from here. She lowered a strap of her purple nightgown and took her left breast in her hand. She hadn't fed Ellis from her breasts for three days. She had pumped her milk and left it into the fridge. Meredith always thought that feeding her children with her own milk made they bond closer. She had always enjoyed doing it.

With twins it had been hard, because for the first months they almost ate at the same time, so Derek helped her. She gave each of boys one of her breasts and they ate silently. She and Derek always were watching as they children ate and smiled. That was their moment.

With Bailey it was easier. She didn't need to focus on feeding two mouths at the same time. And with Ellis it was the same.

She took her left breast and offered it to Ellis. She instantly started sucking it and Meredith smiled. Her little girl was healthy and alive, eating and breating.

Meredith remembers that one time when she almost lost her daughter. She was seven months pregnant then.

Meredith was walking around the hospital trying to find April. She needed to talk about her newest patient. There was a chance that she was being abused by her botfriend and tried to hide it. April had hinted to it, and Meredith was sure that it was true.

When she spotted her, she wanted to shout to get April's attention, but a sudden pain stopped her. She grabber her stomach in pain and groaned. Then Meredith felt hot liquid running down her thights.

Meredith looked down and saw blood. She was bleading.

"Meredith!" She heard April shouting. That was the last thing she heard before everything went black.

She had had placental abruption. Arizona and Alex had saved her and Ellis, but she spent the rest of her pregnancy in the hospital. It was too dangerous for her to walk around, because every moment she could start bleeding again and that time they would have to take the child out.

Meredith had a high risk pregnancy because of her age, hostile uterus and complicated Bailey's birth. It was a miracle that Meredith was pregnant again and had carried a child that long. She was forty when Ellis was born. Derek was forty – five. His birthday was three months ago, five days after Ellis'. Meredith was happy that she had finally welcomed her girl healthy and alive, but at the same time she was desperate. Her husband was under the ground and she had to take care of four children alone. But then – three months later she found Luke at her door.

Meredith looked around the room. She saw boys sleeping and again smiled. Chris was sleeping on Derek's side with his hand over Bailey's stomach. Matt was sleeping next to Bailey with his red cat in hands.

That was her world, her kids and her life. She will never regret having them. She will never regret marrying Derek.

Meredith and Cristina had been friends since they intern year. They both were smart and wanted to be the best. Cristina was the first one to know about Meredith and Derek. She knew about their secret relationship. Meredith trusted her, but one day changed it all.

It was their second year. Meredith had just returned from two week holiday with an engagement ring on her finger. Derek had proposed to her last night when they had returned from Los Angeles. Meredith couldn't stop smiling. She was happy.

"Why are you smiling like that? Did you get laid this morning?" Cristina asked and continued to write her charts.

"I can't be happy?" Meredith answered with frown. Didn't her best friend notice her ring?

"You can, but I wouldn't smile everytime I get laid."

"Cristina." Meredith's smile was off. "There is another reason why I'm happy. Do you wanna know it?"

Cristina put the pen down and looked into Mer's eyes. "Did you break up with Derek?"

"WHAT?"

"Should I ask you again?" Cristina narrowed her eyes. "You know that he is not the right one for you. You should focus more on your job than him. If you continue to sleep with him, you will get pregant and then your career would be over."

Meredith was angry now. How can someone say that about her man, about HER Derek? Everyone knew them. All hospital knew about Meredith and Derek, they great love story. They were THE Meredith and Derek. Even after bomb, drowing accident and secret ex-wife they had stayed together and have never been more happier. Nurses around the hospital made bets on the date when Derek would propose to Meredith.

She loved Derek with all her heart and wanted to be with him. Yes, they have talked about kids. One day they would have them, but her best friend's words hurt.

Cristina didn't like Derek, Meredith knew it, but that didn't give her any rights to speak abour her fiance like that.

"I love Derek."Meredith defended herself.

"Yeah, and I loved Burke." She rolled her eyes. "Meredith, look around. You don't love him, never have and never will. That all is in your head. Derek is just a good fuck for you, admit it. You don't want relatioship, you don't do them. Stop playing family with Derek and return to your world. Derek is nothing and no man or even some stupid kids won't be more important than your career. You won't be great and extraordinary if you don't focus on your dreams."

Meredith was hurt. She couldn't stop tears from falling. This was the woman she had considered her best friend, sister. Right know she saw another woman.

"Do you really think that?"Meredith said between tears.

"Oh, stop crying, Meredith! You are not a child, who cries knowing that the santa clause isn't real."

Meredith couldn't hear it more. At that moment she hated Cristina more than her own father who had left her. That's why she said what she said. "No wonder why Burke left you. You are evil and only care about yourself. You doesn't care about other's or they lives. Burke saw it and left you alone. He didn't want to be together with someone, who only wants to be famous and is cruel. You use people to get what you want. Like it was with Burke. You only were with him because of his job. He got you all the best surgeries and always chose you not because of your talent, but because you slept with him. Derek has never done that. He sees talant in me and in other's. He cares about me and I care about him. But I don't think you will be ever able to understand it. You can't love, Cristina."

Meredith turned around and left Cristina speacless.

Cristina wasn't her friend anymore. They were just colleagues, who spoke only if they were needed. Meredith had her life, Cristina had hers. And Meredith was glad that Cristina wasn't right. Looking at her sleeping kids, Meredith knew – she had made the right choice.