Hi :)

New profile pic for this story! Do you like it?

And I want to say a big THANK YOU to all of you, who are reading this story! Soon there will be 10K views and I can't be more happier about that! 3 The feeling that you are reading it and you love it is making me happy. So THANK YOU! 3

"I will stay tonight at the hospital." Meredith said to Amelia. They were standing outside the house and watching kids running around. Matt and Bailey were playing soccer while Chris was playing with Max. Doc was inside the house.

Amelia nodded and looked at sleeping Ellis. She was sleeping in her yellow stroller. The sun was shining and it was hot for March's end in Seattle. Last night had rained, and mud was everywhere. Boy's legs were dirty and Amelia would need a helping hand later.

"Meredith, did you get everything?" They turned and were met by Carolyn's warm eyes. She knew about Meredith's plan to stay with Derek this night in a case if he wakes up. She would prefer Meredith sleeping in her own soft bed tonight, but it was her choice. Meredith wanted to stay and no one could stop her.

"Yes, Carolyn." She nodded. "Where is Nancy?"

"Right here." Nancy came out of the house.

"I will go and say goodbye to the boys."

Meredith walked towards her boys and stopped in front of Chris. He looked up and smiled. "Hi, mom!"

"What are you doing?" She leaned over to his level and touched his wet hair. Max had sat down next to Meredith and waited for his "mother" to say something. She patted his dark fur and felt him move closer to her.

"I was trying to teach Max a new trick." He answered. "Max, sit!"

"Honey, he already knows that." Meredith laughed. "I'm going to stay in the hopital for the night. Be good and don't make any mess."

"Will do." Chris hugged his mother and went to Max, who was now trying to open the door of the house.

"Where are you going?" Meredith heard Matt ask. When she turned around, she saw them standing in front of her with frown. They clothes were covered by the mud.

"To the hospital. I will stay there overnight."

Bailey came closer and put his dirty arms on Meredith's white jacket. She had just washed it. Meredith was angry, but tried no to show it.

"Job?"

"No." Meredith opened her arms and hugged the boys. Now her back was also dirty and she will need to change. "An old friend is in the hospital and I have to stay with him tonight."

"Is he alright?" Matt asked and Meredith saw how much he looked like his father.

Meredith smiled and stood up. "He will be."

Matt nodded and left to go inside. Bailey stood next to Meredith and hold her hand.

"Mommy, can I go with you?"

Meredith looked over at Amelia, who was watching her and nodded. She would need to calm down Bailey, when he will start crying. "Listen, Bailey, you can't come with me. You will stay home with your siblings and aunts, alright? I will call you later and we will talk."

"But mommy – "

"Bailey, you have to stay at home." Meredith saw his eyes get wet. He released Meredith's arms and started sobbing.

"Come on, little man! We will do funny things together." Amelia said as she took Bailey in her arms and left, but not making an eye contact with Meredith before. Meredith muttered 'thanks' and fastly went inside to change her jacket.

Two minutes later she came outside wearing long, brown coat. "Who owns that old car?" She heard Nancy ask. Meredith looked at Derek's old jeep that Nancy was pointing at and answered.

"That's Derek's. He wanted to keep it."

"Did he drive around with it?"

"Rarely. He had a Porsche Cayenne before accident." Meredith unlocked her car and opened the back door to put her overnight bag inside. She turned and saw Carolyn and Nancy looking strange at her. "What?"

"We don't want to be rude, but how you are going to maneuver your car through the mud?"

"From the house to the gate is a paved road."

"And then?" Nancy asked, when she opened the doors to get in. "There is this short road without asphalt or paving."

"It's not the first time I'm driving." Meredith smiled and got in into the car. When everyone was seated and fastened, Meredith started driving. She saw the house getting smaller in the rearview mirror and sighed. This was it. Today is the day when her husband's fate will be determined. Today he will wake up or his heart will stop forever… and this time for real.

She needed something to cheer her up. She needed something to remind about good times and about the bright future ahead of them. If this was unsuccessful and Derek would never wake up, Meredith will have to move on and live her life. There was a risk for him not to wake up. There was a danger that he would be killed. There was a chance that his heart stops in the middle of surgery. There were too many different paths that could happen, but Meredith only hoped for one. Derek had to open his eyes and remember her. He had to live and take care of her, when she is old and smelly. She needed him to remind her who she was, if she gets Alzheimer and forgets. And in this moment there was only one thing that she could do to remember good times.

"Do you mind some music?" She asked.

"Not at all." Carolyn smiled and looked at Meredith from the passenger seat. Meredith looked at Nancy through the mirror and saw her nodding. She turned radio on and soon the car was filled with music. It wasn't just some music. It was Derek's favourite.

"Darling, you got to let me know

Should I stay or should I go?"

Meredith smiled and from her peripheral vision she saw Carolyn smiling. Meredith continued driving and listening to the music. Fot the past year, it has been a reminder about Derek. She always listened it when she drove somewhere, when she went to the hospital and drove twins to kindergarder. It was her songs, her memories, her happiness.

"If you say that you are mine

I'll be here 'til the end of time

So you got to let me know

Should I stay or should I go?"

"I remember him singing this at my wedding. He, Mark and Steve were drunk and they thought it was a good idea." Said Nancy and Meredith looked at her. Her eyes were closed and her lips wore a smile. Meredith knew that Steve was Nancy's husband. She had seen photos of her family.

"It's hard to believe, you know." Meredith added and continued to focus on the road. "Derek never sang into the audience and never danced. Only exceptions were the hospital's prom, our wedding and a few other occasions."

"I heard about the prom from Addison."

"Why I haven't heard about it?" Carolyn added. Meredith was suprised. Her mother-in-law always knew everything. Derek had told her that his mother knew about her daughter's pregnancies long before thay announced it.

"There is nothing to tell you, Carolyn. It was a simply prom, nothing big."

"I wouldn't say that." Meredith stopped at the red light. "You and Derek were in the spothlight."

"Let's be real. We always were in the spotlight, because he is the Derek Shepherd and I am the famous intern Meredith Grey who fell in love with her boss."

Meredith started driving again. Sometimes some of the hospital staff members looked at her with rage and disgust. For them she always will be the girl who fell in love with her boss, the dream man of many woman, and married him. She will always be that slutty intern who seduced married man and made him leave his wife. But that wasn't the truth. They don't know anything.

"And Derek fell for you, much harder than for Addison. He had never looked at her like he looks at you... and will look. That said the woman, who was his wife for eleven years. That night everyone knew that feeling between you two were real. They finally saw it."

"We just danced that night."

"It was enough for them."