RATING: R for sex scene and language.
DISCLAIMER: Characters are not owned by me.
NOTES: Italics are flashbacks and internal monologues.
SETTING: Season three, slight AU. Veronica dated Piz for a month, it did not last. Logan tried to move on with Parker for a couple months, it did not last.
The Love of My Life
Veronica stood on shaky legs looking at the box in her hands. Was he really going to propose? To her? She understood that Parker is nice and sweet, but for Logan? Forever? God that word filled her entire body with cold dread. Suddenly straightening, Veronica hid when she heard voices in the hall. Shit! Wasn't he supposed to be gone the entire weekend? Veronica moved her ear closer to the door to listen to the conversation.
"Dude, this chick is totally hot and I can totally hit that if you go on a double date with us and her sister."
Veronica smiled at Logan's sigh in response to Dick's request.
"Man, you are no fun anymore." The blond surfer groaned as he entered the suite. "You wanna play violent video games or are you too lame to do that as well?"
Veronica stifled a sigh at Logan's affirmative response and resigned herself to another few hours hiding from her ex and his idiot friend.
After several hours and only after she was sure both of them were safely in their rooms did Veronica venture out. Getting up to put the ring back, Veronica froze when she heard someone cough behind her.
"So, how you been Veronica? Just some light B and E? The usual then, cool."
"I still have a key." She responded meekly.
Gah, what happened to the stubborn, take no prisoners no matter how many enemies you make girl? It's that stupid fucking ring's fault and now I am acting like an idiot and an asshole. Fan-freaking-tastic.
"Oh, so just trespassing then? That's a relief, wouldn't want to bail you out of jail again." When she just stared at him Logan tried the direct approach. "What are you doing here Veronica?"
"I lost something, I've looked everywhere else. I thought you were out of town this weekend, sorry to bother you." Veronica said in her I'm so tough nothing bothers me voice. She then turned around after a polite smile, put the key card on the table and left.
Logan looked in the drawer and saw the ring box she was putting back and sighed. "Shit, this is going to make things more awkward."
Two weeks later.
Mac looked at her droopy best friend and fought the urge to slap her in the face. "That's it Veronica! You need to tell me what the hell is going on with you. You have been weird the past couple of weeks and you're not talking about it. Wallace and I thought you would come to us when you were ready, but clearly that's not happening. Spill."
Veronica looked around the busy Hearst cafeteria. "Not here, okay?"
Getting back to Mac's room, Veronica noticed Mac looked ready to lay into her again. "Relax Mac, I'm going to tell you. Okay?" Seeing that Mac had nodded, Veronica relaxed. "Is Parker still gone?" When Mac again nodded in the affirmative, Veronica started talking quickly and without pause. "Okay so I was in Logan's suite looking for a SD card of photos I took and I looked in a drawer and I saw an engagement ring and then I heard their voices in the hall and so I hid and when I though they had both gone to bed I tried to put the ring back and get out of there but Logan caught me and it was really weird and he is going to propose to Parker and… and I… " Veronica cried, dissolving into sobs.
What happened to me? I wasn't emotional when Logan needed me to be and now here I am completely breaking down.
"And you still love him." Mac finished. Veronica looked at Mac through emotion filled eyes Veronica was trying desperately to control. "Is it that obvious?" She sighed.
"Veronica, you look at Logan like he is the only person in the room. You are an incredibly difficult person to read- to most people. Wallace and I can both tell that you have been in love with Logan since you started dating the first time. Even if you tried to control your feelings, pretend they did not exist. They are there and Logan deserves to know that." Mac said softly.
Veronica looked the most depressed Mac had ever seen when Veronica quietly replied, "Logan is happier without me in his life; he gets good grades, volunteers, goes on fun trips with the guys and gets engaged to Parker. He doesn't need me like I need him."
It took Mac a full minute to process what her usually unemotional, closed off best friend was saying. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you blind and deaf?" She shouted at a surprised Veronica. "That boy loves you more than he can fucking comprehend. Logan still looks at you like you are the only god damn person on Earth. You don't see the kicked puppy dog grimace he gets when you don't make eye contact with him and run away from him and your feelings. Again, over and over again. He looks at Parker like she is a pal. He looks at you like you are his motherfucking soulmate, the love of his life. Like he is never going to get over you, like every girl he dates he is going to compare to you and they won't measure up and I would bet my life savings and my left kidney that the ring you saw was meant for you not Parker."
Veronica just stood there gaping at Mac. But she was right, Veronica needed to stop moping and do something, be the kind of person Logan deserves, be honest with him and herself.
I have royally screwed this up too many times. I need to get my shit together.
"Mac you're the best. And you're right, I need to be better. I gotta go, call you later?" Without waiting for a response, Veronica left.
Still processing, Logan stared dumbly at his phone. He was pretty sure Mac called him by mistake but he could not be happier about it. After being sure Veronica had left, he hung up and tried to process what they had said. "She still loves me?" Still smiling a smile Logan thought might be permanent, he fell into a relaxed, calm sleep.
'Ronica was right, I am a total girl.
Logan woke up to his very loud cell phone still in his hand. Looking at the caller ID he grimaced.
Might as well get this over with.
"Mac, what the hell? You kinda ruined the best sleep I've had in awhile."
"Would this amazing rest have anything to do with the conversation you eavesdropped on last night?" Mac asked foux-sweetly.
"Shit. Mac listen, I…" Mac cut him off. "How much did you hear loverboy?"
Logan sighed. "All of it. You called when you got to your room and Veronica was saying she was going to tell you."
After a tension filled pause Mac asked, "Was I right?"
"Yes."
"About…" She prodded. "About all of it." Logan replied uncomfortably. He heard a laugh followed by what suspiciously sounded like high fives and jumping around. "Mac are you alone? Are you sharing my deepest secrets with your legions of followers?" Logan sighed into the phone and ran his fingers through his hair. This conversation was ruining his relaxed sleep state. He heard shuffle and a muffled hey.
"Relax man, It's just me." Wallace said into the phone.
"What the… Am I on speakerphone? What the hell guys? Who else is there?" A pissed Logan asked.
"It's just us." Mac answered. "Wallace was with me when I noticed our call last night." after a beat she added quickly. "Weevil is here too… ummm and Dick."
Logan just sighed. "What is with all the weird noises I keep hearing?"
"I told you he could tell if you were jumping around and waving your arms." Wallace laughed.
"Shut up, he's probably talking about your stupid high fives and suppressed giggles of joy." Mac replied.
"I do not giggle, pimp playas do not giggle." Logan, Mac and Weevil just snorted in response. Not dignifying it with a verbal response.
"So, why are you guys so happy?" A frustrated Logan finally managed.
Mac focused and answered. "Right, V's been unhappy since you two broke up. She is stubborn and insecure and has trust issues, but you bring out the best in her. Epic, right?"
"I thought our story was epic, you know. You and me."
Veronica looks at him. "Epic how?"
"Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined and bloodshed. Epic. But summer's almost here and we won't see each other at all. And then you'll leave town and then it's over and…" He trails off.
"Logan…"
"I'm sorry about last summer. Y'know if I could do it over…" Logan interrupts.
"C'mon, ruined lives, bloodshed? You really think a relationship should be that hard?" She asks, trying to lighten the mood.
"No one writes songs about the ones that come easy."
"What? She told you about that?" He managed softly after remembering that night.
"Of course she did, she was mildly drunk and missing you, but that is beside the point." Mac answers. After a pause she starts again. "Listen Logan, we are Veronica's closest friends… plus Dick…"
"Hey, Ronnie likes me." Dick interrupts, sounding like a whiny toddler.
Mac flips him off, clears her throat and starts again. "We love her and we all know that she loves you…"
"Maybe." Weevil interrupts. Mac glared at him and then continued. "And she is happier with you. We know that you guys can make it together, make each other happy if you guys just start fucking talking to each other." She sighed, frustrated. "Communication is your biggest problem, fix that and I honestly think you guys are golden. Communication is the root of all your problems and I know that is mostly on Veronica, but she is going to do better Logan, just don't make it too difficult." Mac finished and then hung up.
"She's right." Logan said to the empty room. "She's right."
Why the hell are they all together talking about us like we are on the frakin' Love Boat anyways?
Logan looked around for what he needed for the talk he planned on having with Veronica, when he found everything he picked up his phone ready to call her. Before he could hit speed dial 1, it rang.
"Hey, Veronica." Logan answered, trying not to convey the nervous energy he was desperately trying to hide from her.
Her breath hitched at his voice, hopefully he couldn't tell. "Hey Logan, can you meet me at Dog Beach today? Any time, I'm free all day." Logan knew that wasn't true but it meant a lot that she would move things around to see him today. "I can be down there in thirty if now is a good time?" He knew it was a good time.
"10:30 is perfect, see you then. Thanks." She responded then hung up.
Logan smiled like a love sick fool again. "Might as well leave now to get donuts and coffee before we talk." He said to the empty room, practically skipping to the front door.
Veronica sat on the beach looking at the smooth ocean, trying to make her face look calm and relaxed like the water. This is not usually so hard for me. Ugh, he makes me all emotional. Motherfucker. That isn't a bad thing though. Right? No, it's a good thing. A great thing even. A voice interrupted her thoughts.
"Hey, I stopped for coffee and donuts. Have you been out here long?" Logan asked. Twenty excruciating minutes, she thought. "Nah, I just got here and it's nice today." No it's not, it's fucking frigid with this wind. Logan smirked. "Coffee to warm you up?" He asked thoughtfully. Damn it he can read me so well. "Thanks."
"So what did want to talk about?" Logan asked after a few minutes and Veronica was two donuts down and going for three.
"I am going to tell you a bunch of things and I want you to just listen, okay? No storming off or talking until I'm done okay?" When Logan nodded she started, looking off into the distance or down at her shoes, anywhere but in his eyes.
"I love you. I have known since you stood up for me at Aaron's stupid party. I know this is several months too late and you have moved on and are dating Parker, but you deserve to know. I love you and I am so proud of you. You are so smart and that is why I was pushing you to apply yourself, but you're in college it's okay you don't have everything figured out. I don't know if that made you think you weren't smart or good enough or something. I hope it didn't and if it did I am sorry. I am so sorry for everything I constantly do to hurt you. The dangerous cases, my untrusting bitchiness, the not talking to you, the running away, everything. I am so sorry. I trust you Logan. You have shown me time and time again that you can be trusted and I have shown time and time again that I am not just any frigid bitch, I am their queen. Celeste Kane has officially been dethroned."
Veronica stopped and tried to calm herself so she did not cry in front of him.
"I am like that because I am scared. I am scared of losing you, the most important person in my life. I am scared because you can be used against me and I have never felt like that. Not with Duncan or Troy or Leo or Duncan again or Piz, only with you. I miss you so much Logan. That's why I was in your room a couple weeks ago, I lost a SD card full of my favorite photos of us. I couldn't find it, but I did find Parker's engagement ring and it freaked me out because I only lasted a month with Piz before I had to get the hell out of there because he wasn't you and you were thinking about forever with Parker and I have only done that with you. I'm sorry I snooped."
Finished, Veronica started eating her donut again, waiting for him to respond.
"My turn to monologue." Veronica finally looked him in the eyes, looking surprised. "Wh…" Logan smirked. "No interrupting." He mimicked. Veronica stuck out her tongue and smiled at him.
"I broke up with Parker almost a month ago because she wasn't you. There is only one girl I have thought about forever with. She is small and blonde and crazy smart and likes to be a detective. She is the love of my life. We're epic."
Veronica looked at him shocked and pleased by his choice of words. Seeing that she was about to speak, he beat her to it.
"Our communication problems are just as much my fault as they are yours. We've both had rough lives for people so young. Our issues are mostly because of that. I love you Veronica and I forgave you for everything a long time ago."
Logan paused and smiled at her, pleased when she smiled back.
"About the ring, it was for you. Most likely I wasn't going to ask for a while and if you said yes I figured we would wait to get married until after college ended, but it was always for you, not Parker. About the SD card, I found it after we broke up. When I went to go and give it to you, Piz kissed you and ushered you into his and Wallace's room when he saw me coming. I tried a couple more times after that but Piz always stopped me.
Piz did what? Such an asshole move.
So, I bought a camera and looked at the photos. I look at them whenever I miss you more than usual. End monologue."
Logan finished, handed her the SD card and started searching Veronica's face for anger. Pleased he found none, he relaxed on the beach.
After two whole seconds of relaxing, Veronica straddled him and roughly started kissing him. Logan moved his hands up her sides and cupped the back of her head. As Logan started kissing his way down her neck, Veronica was grinding on his now rock hard bulge.
"Bobcat, I think we need to move this to a more private location before…"
"My house is the closest." A tinged pink Veronica said, pulling back and looking around at the beach. Managing to look both shy and coy.
This woman is going to be the death of me, but oh, what a way to go.
"Excellent."
When they arrived at Mars' dwelling, Logan quickly pushed her against the doorframe and started kissing down her neck, stopping only to pull her shirt off. Looking down at a rumpled and breathless Veronica, he smiled.
I still affect her so much and I haven't even done anything yet. God, I'm good. But she does the same thing to me so…
Logan lost his train of thought as Veronica's nimble fingers began to unzip his pants.
After shedding both their pants and his shirt, he started unclasping her bra, slowly dragging the straps down her arms, stopping sporadically to kiss and nip her clavicle and shoulders because he knows the build up when she is like this makes her absolutely crazy. Getting her bra off, Logan gently started caressing her sides and back. Quickly getting fed up with this, Veronica moved his hands to her bare breasts.
She must want it bad if she's being so bold. Hot.
Logan chuckled and took the hint, starting off with light squeezes and quickly transitioned to firmer gropes and pinching her nipples, making Veronica moan loudly with pleasure. Veronica felt her underwear get more wet as Logan started pinching and pulling the stiff peak of one nipple, rolling it between his fingers and roughly sucking on the other hard, pink bud.
"Oh God, Logan. Don't stop." Veronica moaned, her hands running along the sculpted planes of his body, making Logan smile against her breast.
Like I plan on stopping.
She quickly became lost in sensation as Logan increased the suction and force he was using on her sensitive nipples. While one hand was gently and smoothly traveling over her body, the other was slowly pulling down her underwear. Releasing her nipple from his mouth, but keeping his hand slowly and tightly rolling her other nipple, Logan kissed his way down Veronica's body, stopping when he met her trimmed, golden curls. Wasting no time he dove in, sucking her clit and running his tongue through her folds, giving her no time to adjust to the overwhelming sensations.
"Lo… I… God…" She groaned, her head falling against the door and her hands fisting in his hair.
Veronica quickly felt her orgasm tighten, releasing breathy, shallow pants as she hurtled towards climax. When Logan inserted two fingers into her dripping heat, curling them so they reached her G spot, Veronica came, loudly screaming Logan's name.
Logan smiled at his girlfriend. "God, you."
"Look like I just got fucked against a doorframe?" Veronica offered.
Logan chuckled lightly. "Yeah. Beautiful." He responded, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear and kissing her lightly. The kiss quickly turned passionate with their roaming hands, her legs naturally tightening around his waist and dueling tongues. Veronica getting impatient again, grabbed his pulsing cock and slipped it into her dripping heat, making them both moan. After only a few deep thrusts she was close again. Sensing this, Logan reached down and lightly began stroking her clit, making Veronica speed up her thrusts.
"Yeah 'Ronica, come for me." Logan said, mirroring her speed, making Veronica scream out in ecstasy with Logan quickly following.
Sweaty and high from the afterglow, Veronica resumed playing with his hair as Logan carried her to her room and lay her down to fall into the best sleep she's had in awhile.
"Love you Logan." She mumbled before drifting off.
"I love you too, Bobcat."