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"But that's not the only reason why I hate you."
"There is more?" Meredith whispered to herself. She was scared and stood opposite of Maggie.
"Did you say something, big sister?" Maggie asked. Seeing her eyes, Meredith understand one thing — Maggie was crazy. She was mentally ill. No one would do things like this in the right mind. Something was definitely wrong and Meredith knew.
Just like the last time. Meredith closed her eyes and saw herself standing in the 2OR, where Cristina and Jackson were operating on Derek. He had been shoot and Meredith had offered her life for Derek's. Clark was ready to shoot, but Cristina, who saw Meredith's small bump, announced that she was pregnant. Clark couldn't shoot a pregnant woman, and then he wanted to kill Derek, but his heart monitor started beeping that Derek's heart had stopped.
Meredith remembers herself crying hysterical. She thought that she had lost Derek, but Jackson had disconnected his wires and saved his life. Clark left and Derek survived. April calmed her down, when Jackson connected wires back, and both they started saving Owen.
In that day Meredith could have lost her children and Derek, but Cristina had saved her life. She will always be thankful her for that. And later, when Derek was in the ICU, she felt her sons moving for the first time. That was a sign that everything would be alright.
"Meredith, do you know why I hate you so much?" Maggie asked with a smirk. Meredith knew that she needed to talk to Maggie. She knew that from the experience. Is she would talk, there will be a chance that Maggie won't hurt her.
"Remember us meeting for the first time?"
"Yes." Meredith answered and carefully watched every step Maggie made. "I was talking to Derek and then you came with Cristina."
"Ah, you remember. Do you remember what happened next?"
"Cristina introduced us."
"This is Margaret Pierce. The new cardio surgeon." She mimicked. "And this is Meredith and Derek Shepherd — our hospital's most famous couple."
Meredith was silent. Was Maggie jealous of her and Derek?
"You see, you have Derek. You are married to the god of neuro, one of the best neurosurgeons in this country and the whole word."
"Is this because of Derek?" That made Maggie stop.
"You think that I want your husband?" Maggie laughed and closed her eyes for a moment. "I don't need that old bastard… The thing is hidden in that you seduced your boss and fell in love with him. You made a family, have four children and a famous husband…
When I was twenty, I met Charlie. He was my boss, who taught me a lot, gave helping hand when I needed, comforted me when my first patient died. Charlie saw the talent and potential in me, he saw the best in me. I fell in love with him. I wanted to be with him, wanted to marry him and be his wife. I adored him for years before I got courage and went after my happiness. Can you imagine what happened next?
One night after forty-eight hour shift I decided to tell him about my feelings. I was ready to announce that I love him. We went to the nearest bar and got drunk. He had lost a patient and wanted to forget the pain. The next morning we woke up in the same bed. We had slept together. I was happy, but then he broke my dreams and heart. He started shouting at me for seducing him, for sleeping with him, but you know that was the worst?
He had a wife. He had cheated on his wife, who was pregnant with his child. They had problems in they marriage, I knew, but I was too stupid to believe that he could fall in love with me. He laughed about my feeling for him, and left.
I was broken and hurt. I didn't go to work for two days and when I finally went…" She took a deep breath. "He had told the entire hospital that I had seduced him and forced him to sleep with me. His wife, who I had never seen, came to me and said that I am nothing more than some piece of shit, who nobody wants.
Her best friend's uncle was the chief there. He fired me and said that I should never go back there. He made me feel like nobody, no one special. Charlie didn't want me, he never saw me as a woman, as someone to love." Maggie came closer to Meredith and stood in front of her. The gun was put next to her stomach. Meredith saw pain in Maggie's eyes. There were tears that she tried to sweep with her fingers.
Meredith understood her pain. Maggie was in the same situation that Meredith was almost ten years ago. She knew the feeling of betrayal, pain and endless hope. When she had found out about Addison and that Derek was married, she was hurt. For days Meredith only lived with a hope that Derek would choose her over Addison. After endless days in pain Derek finally made his choice and stayed with Meredith.
"Now you understand?" Maggie opened her red eyes and Meredith for the first time understood her sister. Maggie was hurt. She had hidden her pain and put in deep into her soul. She was damaged.
"You should let him go, Maggie." Meredith whispered and tried to help Maggie. She had been the same when Derek died. She cursed everyone, hated herself for letting him got to the D.C. and blamed the universe for killing him. Meredith knew that feeling and Amelia and Alex had been a great support. Not only they helped her to let Derek go, but they also helped her with the pregnancy and motherhood. She is glad that they helped her, because if not... she would be in a dark place.
"I CAN'T! DID YOU LET DEREK GO WHEN HE DIED? YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL SINCE HIS DEAD AND THAT WAS MORE THAN YEAR AGO!" She shouted and this time Meredith was sure that someone had heard Maggie. Even if nurses, doctors and guards were away, there was another one person in this floor that could save her.