Chapter 9: I Won't Let You Be Alone

Hermione watched Sage from afar. She wanted to help him. She could tell that something was wrong, that something had happened to him since the year before. She could read the sinking in his ice blue eyes. His face showed no happiness at all. He had barely talked to her since they had come back to school a few weeks prior. It left her feeling somewhat empty. She had enjoyed his friendship the year before, especially since Harry and Ron were so immature, and she missed him acting as a friend.

His black hair blew around in the warm breeze as he laid on his stomach, in the grass, reading a book. Nobody else was around, they were all in Hogsmeade. She knew that if he were to let down his façade, now would be the time, and she had to try to reach him. Oddly, she felt that it was important for him to know that someone cared about the changes that were occurring in him.

Resolutely, she walked over the grass, carrying her Transfiguration book with her. His pale blue eyes looked up as she stopped next to him. His hair flickered across his forehead in the breeze. He scowled and looked back down to his book.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" She asked innocently.

He raised an eyebrow, "You are going to anyway," he said curtly. He glared at her as she sat down cross-legged next to him.

She set her book down and glared back at him.

"You know that you don't have to keep this up with me, Sage," she said, her brow furrowing cutely.

He looked back at her imperiously, "Keep what up?" His voice had that slow, deep, and deliberate sound.

She raised an eyebrow back at him and gave him a half-smile. "This act of yours."

Sage looked back down at his book and retorted, "It isn't an act."

"I'm not stupid, you know." Her know-it-all tone was well practiced.

"Perhaps not, but you sure are annoying," he snapped.

She fwapped him on the shoulder with the back of her hand, "And you're acting like a rude prat."

He stared at her darkly, as if it were distasteful and inappropriate that she had struck him. He glanced down at his shoulder where she had hit him and then back down at his book.

"Good you finally figured that out," he answered, without looking up. "I'm wondering why you're so desperate to sit with a rude prat?"

"Come off it Sage! Tell me what happened! Tell me what's wrong?" She said tossing her book in front of her onto the green grass.

"Nothing," he looked up and considered, "Not that I would tell you if there were something wrong." He glanced back down at his book, pretending that he was really interested in reading.

She sighed loudly in frustration, "I'm your friend. I only want to help you."

His eyes were cold when he looked back at her, "Perhaps I don't require your help, Hermione."

She put her hand on his back, "You can trust me."

He rolled out from under her touch and sat up. Hermione suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe, his look was so harsh.

"What makes you think that you've earned that?" He asked.

"Aren't we passed this, Sage," she answered quietly.

"Are we?"

"You are my friend," she said with more confidence.

"But I cannot be your friend, Hermione, don't you understand." He felt his words finally faltering beneath him. Her genuine concern was too much for his feeble defenses. He yearned to tell her about the prophecies and about what he was destined to do, but he couldn't. She would want to help him or stand by him, and he couldn't let her do that. For some stupid reason he could not fathom, he did not want to see her, or anyone else for that matter, get hurt because of him.

"Why not?" She said shaking her head at him.

"Because, if you knew who I really am, what I really am, you would want nothing to do with me."

"But I know who you really are, Sage," she said quietly, almost as if she were close to not really believing it.

"You do not," he answered matter-of-factly, spurred on by the hurt of her quiet faltering.

"Whether you care to admit it or not, I do, and I am not just going to leave you to your suffering. I can't do that."

"I am not going to give you a choice."

"I don't need your permission to care for you, Sage!" She yelled at him.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose and then rested his head in his hand. His scowl was heavy but confused. She touched his shoulder again. He didn't fight it off. He knew what he had to do, no matter how much he did not want to, no matter how much he had been warned against it. Before he could do that, though, he wanted to savor this moment. He could feel her concern like a warm blanket over him; he had not felt that way in so long. It melted away the coldness that had settled over him since last term. It made him feel weak that he needed that…physical affection. He wished that it could be different for a brief moment, for a brief moment before he remembered that he could not have emotions like that. They were liabilities.

Dumbledore shared the window with Severus. Both men were looking out, but Dumbledore's face was fruitful while Snape's face was impassive. The sun shone brightly all over the green grass. The two men had been having a meeting about Sage when a scene caught the headmaster's eyes outside.

Now they were both watching Hermione and Sage under the tree. Perhaps the only two older students who did not go to Hogsmeade.

Professor Dumbledore sighed wistfully and smiled lightly. He looked at the well plastered scowl on the potions master's face.

"Remind you of anything, Severus?" He asked, his eyes twinkling with knowledge.

The younger man did not answer, but rather kept staring out the window at his nephew and the Granger girl. He growled as it reminded him of the fiasco at the end of last year when he had walked in on the Gryffindor's hedonism fest to see his nephew snogging Hermione Granger. Sage rather seemed to be passively fighting her off now.

"Severus?"

"I was ignoring you on purpose, Albus, not as if you didn't know that."

The headmaster chuckled. "As I was saying, Severus, you must take more concern. I am troubled about him as well, but it is his health I am worried about. He isn't sleeping, Severus. I've noticed that he does not eat much either. Professor McGonagall told me that he is rarely in the common room and rarely socializes with his classmates. Not even those that were his friends last year."

"He has a lot on his mind, headmaster, I hardly think it is a concern that he doesn't find time to get into trouble with that band of Gryffindors."

"Severus, I think he is depressed."

"Depressed, Headmaster, really."

"I am most serious, Severus. Reminds me of another young man I once knew."

"Give over, Albus, I wasn't depressed. I was angry."

"What makes you think that the two are so unrelated, Severus?"

"He be fine. He will work through it," he answered plainly.

"The same way you did, Severus?"

At those words Severus shot a look at the headmaster full of shock and fury. "He is not in that danger."

Dumbledore knew he had made his point, "Let us hope not, Severus. It would be most tragic."

They stared out the window in silence some more. Hermione had just put her arm on Sage's back. Dumbledore shook his head slightly as he watched the tall, dark boy move away.

"He is much like you, Severus. He harbors the same pain. It is like having you at Hogwarts again. It is like history repeating itself, but it does not have to..."

Severus huffed and then broke his eyes away from Sage.

"He is not like I was, headmaster. He is not tempted."

"Not yet," the older wizard replied. He knew that he was making his point with the younger man. Severus's worst fear was that Sage would make his same mistakes. Perhaps if he made that salient to Severus, the younger man would be more likely to step in and help his nephew. Sage needed an uncle who was not afraid to love him, not an task-master. Dumbledore felt obligated to help Severus realize this.

They watched still as Sage put his head in his hand. Dumbledore nodded just so as Hermione put her hand on Sage's shoulder. He hoped that she would get through to him where he and Severus could not. He was concerned about Sage's mental health. Severus too had pushed everyone away, and Dumbledore knew that would not be good for Sage's well-being.

Sage's heart beat faster as he felt her warm hand rubbing his shoulder. 'Liabilities' he told himself. 'You can't let her do this' his voice said in his head. 'She will only get hurt' and 'You can do this yourself.' His blood boiled inside of him. He feared what he had to do to push her away, but he knew that it had come to that. She was not just going to let him be, and he needed to be alone.

"You don't want to care about me, Hermione. I don't have those kinds of emotions. I don't know if I am even capable," he said bitterly.

"Yes you are! I know you are. I felt it."

"Hermione! I am not! I do not care about anything or anyone."

"Why are you making yourself out to be this way, Sage. Why won't you just tell me what's happened."

"Don't you get it, Hermione? Nothing is wrong. This is the way I am, I am a monster. I am a freak."

As he said that, he pulled away from her. She jumped a bit at the look he gave her. His eyes had this strange gleam to them. His face was shaking.

"This is what I am," he yelled down into her face as he yanked up his left sleeve and thrust his left forearm out at her. "This is what I am!" he repeated, shaking it. "And you're a Muggleborn."

She stared down at his fair flesh, at the ugly mark that looked like a healed burn scar staring back up at her. The Dark Mark. Tears filled in her eyes as she covered it with her hand. His choice of words was telling; Draco had called her a Mudblood enough to know that if it was as true as he made it, Sage would not call her a Muggleborn.

His flesh tingled under her touch. His forearm felt almost uncomfortably warm. He closed his eyes, resolutely. He attempted to ignore the constriction in his chest, the anguish that he just kept pushing down, pushing away. Pictures flew back into his minds, pictures left over from the one vision that never left him.

"That Mark does not change who you are, Sage. It doesn't mean anything to me."

He tried to pull away from her, pull away from what he was feeling. He could not. She was still holding his forearm between her hands. His heart was racing so fast, he was not sure he could tell where one beat ended and the other began. Showing her the Mark had the exact opposite effect from what he had wanted it to have. Finally, he opened his eyes and looked at her. He didn't see fear or anger. He saw sadness and compassion. Tears were flowing down her cheeks. He fought back the desire to wipe them away.

She touched the fingers of her left hand to her lips and then pressed them against Sage's forehead. He closed his eyes again and felt the bile rush up inside his throat. He held it back.

"I won't let you be alone," she said finally.

By the time she was done speaking those words, she was watching his back retreat across the grass back towards the castle.

She put her hands up to her face and cried like she had not cried in a long, long time.

Severus was shaking as he watched the scene. Dumbledore put a hand on his shoulder.

"She is his Lily Evans, Severus."

Snape glared back at him as if what he had just spoken was blasphemy.

"Granger is no Lily Evans."

"To him she is, Severus," he responded patting the professor's arm gently.

READ IT? REVIEW IT, PLEASE!

Jasmin Flower - Nah I wasn't having a bad day, sorry if it was a little angry for you. Actually it was both Sage and Severus who were having the bad day. Plus, with what happened the chapter before with Sage, Sev, and Dumbledore, there still had to be some residual anger.

Sibyl - Where's you go? Hee hee. Hope everything is going well. I miss the funny things you always have to say, they always make me laugh so hard. Plus you always tell me exactly what you like and that's great.

MCMish - You commented about Dumbledore being the one to have some brains after chapter 5. I totally agree with you. That's going to be a theme. Dumbledore and Hermione as voiced of wisdom, they can see what's happening and they know it isn't good. What did you think about Dumbledore's little convo with Sage (and Sev too) in Chapter 6?

Jewel Little Bird - sometimes you need to combat sarcasm with sarcasm. Hearing the headmaster be sarcastic gave severus an awakening, but a boot up the ass would do well too. Hope the carpet got pulled out from under you in this new chappie here. Let me know what you think of Sage's little revelation.

White Owl - Yeah, he is a stubborn kid, but he's a Snape. He's got to be stubborn. It makes him imperfect. I hate perfect original characters, bc everyone should have a flaw. Sage has plenty of them. Did you finish the prequel? What did you think? By the way, in case you didn't notice from my review, I really LOVE your fic. Keep writing.

Carpathia - I promise you that what happens at the end of this story will shock you more than just the plain ending of GoF. I take that ending to a whole new level, or I will, that is. I'm glad you like the story and I hope that you keep reading. If you want to be emailed or anything when I update, let me know in a review, bc I have an update email list if you want me to add you to it. ;-)

Last But Not by Any Means Least.. Miss Darkshadow - hee hee you got a sneaker! Shhh, don't let on. Hope you like all the chapters I have planned as much as you like these. I have lots of things planned to come that are pretty great and shocking too. Those short chapters in your fic are KILLING me! Hee hee, but I love it anyway. Sage sends you his regards for your kind concern with his welfare. ;-)

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