PART 6

2300 Zulu

Harm's Apartment

North of Union Station

Wednesday night, Harm sat in the living room going through one of his new case files. Though he'd been busy, he managed to head over to Mac's apartment and fill a duffel bag full of her clothing. He didn't even both marveling at the top drawer and all of the lacy and sexy intimate wear that lay stuffed within. He simply grabbed a handful and tossed it in the bag. "I'm sorry if I didn't get everything you wanted. . . I tried."

Mac was going through the clothing. He watched her as she would unfold the item, stare at it for a moment only to put it back into her duffel. Harm was dying to talk to her about something and he didn't care what. Since she had been at his home, their discussions were primarily yes and no questions.

He wanted to ask her about the e-mail she had sent him, but figured that it wasn't the time or place to get into things. Things were awkward enough without him adding more trauma to the mix. "It's fine, Harm." She said, not looking at him.

Mac had managed to keep their moments short but civil. The least interaction with him possible. His rejection of her on Monday night just made her want to cry every time she looked into his eyes. It was silly of her to make such a bold move on Harm. But, she needed him then, and badly. She needed to know that she was loved, protected and needed.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened?" Harm said softly still watching go through the clothing. He knew that he should have kept his mouth shut and just lived with her being safe in his home. But, he needed to know. He had to know.

"No." Mac said firmly before turning around and giving him a sharp gaze.

Sighing, Harm stood and made his way over to her. "Maaac."

Moving away from him before he had a chance to get to her, Mac stood and spoke to him in a warning tone.. "Harm. . . . just drop it."

"How am I going to defend you unless I know the facts?" He shot off. During the day at JAG ops, there had been enough CIA agents going in and out of the office to make him realize that she was in a lot of trouble. And, if that was the case, he needed to be there for her. Harm knew that people would probably think of him as a fool for taking the side of someone who hurt him so badly. Nevertheless, she would do the same for him and he knew that without reservation.

Shaking her head, Mac stifled a sarcastic laugh. "Defend me?" Laughing harder, she turned away from him and walked over to the sofa, sitting on it's edge. She knew that he would see her as a criminal. "Stay out of this Harm, and that is not a request."

"Well, then write me up for disobeying orders, because I know you are in a lot of trouble and I am not hanging you out to dry." He said simply, ignoring the dirty look she was giving him. He knew that he should stay out of it, but he couldn't.

Standing up she walked to the window, tossing her arms up in the air in anger. "Damnit Harm! Can't you see I don't want you to get hurt?" It was the truth. Mac knew the moment that she let someone else into her new hell that they would be the next one on the chopping block.

"How am I going to get hurt?" Harm said, moving cautiously towards her.

"The moment you get involved in this, you are in danger. . ." She yelled at him, hoping to snap some of the Rabb stubbornness off of him.

"What did you get your self into?" He edged in closer to her until he was less than two feet away "Damnit talk to me."

Mac, sensing his closeness, turned and moved passed him. "It's classified." She said as if it were the most common term to use in an ordinary conversation.

"To hell it is, I am your friend Mac, you can't shut me out." Harm said, crossing over and grabbing her by the arm to make her look at him. Had it been another time, that would have merited him with a punch that would have knocked him to his six. Mac just didn't have the strength anymore.

"I am not going to kill you too!" She yelled at him before collapsing into his arms. Her tears rolled down her cheeks and onto his shirt.

"Kill me?"

Mac sighed. "Yes." She looked up at him and into his eyes. All of the resolve that she was trying to maintain was now gone. "I shot him . . . I killed Clay."

"Oh, Mac. . ." He choked out not willing to believe that she had done it maliciously. Something had to have happened and whatever it was he needed to know. "How. ."

"I'm cursed. Don't you get it? Every man that dares to be with me, dies. . . you said it yourself." She said, pushing away from him and walking a few steps off towards the kitchen.

He felt like he had been slapped. She was never going to live that down and he didn't blame her. Out of all of the snarky things they had said to each other, that had to be the absolute worst from him. "Mac. . . I don't really think that. . . and damnit nothing is going to happen to me."

Mac nodded. "It will . . . I have feelings for you. . . every guy I had feelings for. . ."

"You have feelings for me?" Harm paled at her words. So, the "I love you" she had used in her e-mail were true.

Mac threw her hands up in frustration and then brought her hands up to massage the sides of her head. "How can a man so intelligent be so oblivious?"

"I don't know. . . I've always been careful with you. . . I know how I am and I never wanted to hurt you."

"Well you hurt me regardless. . ." She snapped at him.

"I'm sorry, Sarah."

Sighing, Mac waved him off and continued rubbing her head which was starting to ache. "No, never mind . . .it's history. . . has nothing to do with anything anymore."

"Yes it does because. . . I have feelings for you too. . . and not as a friend. . . as something more than that." He didn't want to move, he was scared that the moment he did she would run off. He couldn't take that chance.

"Stop Harm. . . just stop it. . . You made it clear last night that you don't give a damn about perusing anything intimate with me. . . so just stop and lets save whatever is left of our relationship."

He watched her in disbelief. She'd said that he was oblivious, apparently, she was as well. "I didn't sleep with you last night because you were vulnerable. . . I wasn't going to use you for sex, Mac. . . I don't operate that way. . .I am not the jerks you dated. . . I have a conscience. . . and the first time you and I make love, I want it to be right and special. . . not because you were vulnerable and needed the attention. . . I care for you far more to treat you like a sex object."

Mac stood there for a few minutes and looked down at the floor. "Why haven't you ever done anything about it?"

"It's never been the right time." His actions matched her own as he suddenly found the floor interesting.

"It's never the right time with you is it?" Her gaze moved from the floor to him. When his eyes didn't meet her own, Mac threw her hands up again and just chuckled slightly at the predicament that they always found themselves in.

The knock at the door broke the tension between the two. Mac's eyes widened and locked onto Harm's. "Who is it?" He said, getting closer to the door.

Mac dashed from the kitchen and into the bathroom. It wasn't exactly a hiding place, but it would have to do for now.

"Harm? It's the Admiral." AJ said from outside of the door.

When he saw that Mac was out of site, Harm opened up the door and leaned against the door frame. "Hello, sir, what brings you around here?"

"Sorry to come by so late, Commander." AJ said, taking the obligatory gander from the doorway.

"It's alright, sir. . .come on in." Harm stepped back and closed the door behind the Admiral once he walked in. He cursed himself mentally when he saw some of Mac's clothing on the coffee table.

AJ stood in the middle of the room and moved his arms across his chest. "It's about Mac."

Harm nodded and also moved his arms across his chest. He restrained himself from looking over towards his room, he knew it would give them away. "Mac?"

"The CIA claims that she is wanted for murder."

"Murder?" He said, trying to remain shocked about the whole thing. "Mac would never."

"According to them she killed Webb and has since gone missing." AJ moved over to the island and leaned against it. "The CIA has been in and out of the office all day. I assured them that no one knew about the mission or her whereabouts."

Harm shook his head. "I don't think Mac would ever . . ."

"I know!" AJ said, exasperated. "Something is fishy here. . . if she contacts you Commander. . ."

"Sir." Mac said, coming out of Harm's bedroom. She waved Harm off when his eyes became wide as saucers. "Everything they told you is true."

"Is it true that you are a traitor too?" AJ said, his eyes wide with shock as he watched her walk up to them.

"Treason?" Harm said looking her over. "You didn't tell me anything about that."

"What?" Mac's voice came out as a shout. Treason? What exactly had Webb gotten them into?

"CIA says that you have diamonds stashed somewhere. . . you were going to sell them." AJ said looking his chief of staff over. She looked thinner, tired, as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders.

Mac eyes went wide with shock. She made her way over to the sofa and sat down. "No. . . Oh God." The two men just looked at each other and then back at her. She realized that there was no way out. She was going to have to tell them what happened.

"I don't know where to start." She said, realizing that she was so overwhelmed with information.

Harm sighed and walked over to a chair, sitting comfortably in it. He motioned for AJ to do the same. "Where ever you want, Mac."

Sighing, she picked the perfect place to start. "The night you found Webb and I. . . well we'd been broken up for a long time. . . I thought he was coming over to pick up his things. . .." She looked at Harm and felt the tension around them. She paused, rethought her next line of words as the Admiral did not need to hear the intimate details, or lack their of. This was going to be an uncomfortable discussion. "I threw him out of the apartment and the next day, after our spat in the conference room, SECNAV contacted the Admiral and I was to be sent to South America again. . . Brazil to be exact. Seems like the CIA liked the way I handled myself. . . The Admiral tried to get me out of it but I couldn't let him take a fall for me. . . You know how SECNAV could be. . ."

Harm nodded. "I sometimes wonder if that bastard has a heart. . . SECNAV I mean. . ." He said, correcting himself, and sheepishly grinning at the Admiral who just shook him off.

Nodding in agreement, Mac brought her arms around herself. "It was a mess from the beginning. . . Clay was being an ass because. . .well, just because. . . it made everything tense and you could tell that we were not as close as we were supposed to be." She remembered them arguing through every moment of the trip. Every second that she spent with Clay, made her want to run back home. The only reason why she stayed was because she made an oath to her country and she wasn't going back on that. "We were staying at a Villa. One night I was in bed pretending to be asleep. . . I heard Clay get up and head to the other room so I walked to the door and listened. . . he mentioned Van Dyne, the CIA's diamond expert and Lt. Maravalis. . . So that next morning I decided to do a little snooping around. . . And get this, Maravalis' diamonds were the some of the ones that Raul Garcia traded with us. . . apparently Maravalis' contacts in Belgium were selling it over to him."

Harm sat at the edge of his chair. "You've gotta be kidding me."

Mac slid to the edge of the sofa and took a deep breath. "There was a reason why Van Dyne was so nervous when I took him Meredith's diamond. . . It's the same reason why he had all the files on Maravalis. Van Dyne would sell the diamonds to the same people that the agency was trying to track down. It was the perfect scheme, because after the mission was over, the diamonds would go straight back to him at Langley."

"He did go rouge." Harm said, running his fingers over the five o'clock shadow.

AJ who had tensed at the mention of Meredith's name, let out a deep sigh. "What the hell is the world coming to? Naval officers selling diamonds for their personal gain. CIA agents playing for the other side?"

"Van Dyne gave me Maravalis' files because he told me that he was afraid of the agency sending him on a mission."

Harm nodded, finally understanding the complexity of the mission. "It was bullshit though, he gave you the files as a way to rid himself of evidence that he was even involved with Maravalis."

"Colonel." AJ said, breaking his train of thought. "When did you met up with Mr. Van Dyne? And do you remember where."

Mac shrugged. "It was during the Maravalis case, sir. I was going home and he pulled me over in the middle of the road."

Chuckling angrily, AJ opened his briefcase and set a folder in the middle of Harm's coffee table. "Open it."

When she did, Mac saw a picture of her and Van Dyne. The picture had been taken with an infrared lens. It was clear that he was handing her some information. "This is where the accusation of treason comes from, isn't it?"

AJ nodded. "I knew you would never be involved in any of that. I had a gut feeling that you weren't, but. . ."

Mac sighed and cut him off. "With evidence like this, it's hard to believe I wasn't involved."

Harm looked at the picture and then up at Mac. "What about Webb?"

Mac nodded and tried to recall the next days events. They were the ones that had changed her life forever. "The day after I confronted Webb about a seemingly easy mission. . . I woke up. . In a haze. . . almost as if I had been drugged. . . my head was pounding and in the middle of trying to snap out of it, I heard a noise outside of the room."

Mac stood up and began pacing around the room. It was the only way that she could get her brain functioning properly again. "Go on." Harm urged her

"I didn't see Webb anywhere and for some reason I felt I needed my gun. . .so I took it and walked out to find some guy rummaging through some papers. It was dark and I couldn't get a good look of him." Mac closed her eyes but only remembered the silhouette of the man. She could not remember his facial features and it was too dark for her to see what colour his hair or eyes were.

"I trained my gun at him and told him to stop. Before I had a chance to do much, he shoved me out of his way and ran off. So, I ran after him." She remembered the way her body felt like lead, her head felt so strange. "The whole time it felt like my head was in some cloud. . I thought I was going to throw up. . . But I kept running for about a block or two. . . He ran into a cemetery and I followed. . ."

The blood began to pump harder through the veins as she remembered what she could. The man, dressed in black standing on someone's grave. It seemed like a scene straight from some horror movie. The fact that her head wasn't on straight, wasn't helping the situation much. "He was standing behind a headstone and I swear. . . God I swear that he had a gun which he fired at me. . . that is when I opened fire and when I walked over to see if he was alive. . .it was Webb. . . I'd killed him."

Her hands shook at the thought of killing a person who was innocent. She'd shot him at least three times and watched when his body slammed down to ground bellow. Needing to find out who the man was, Mac had walked over to him and saw Clayton Webb's dead body. "I passed out after that. . . when I woke up again I was in some room. . . they kept asking me what I knew, what I saw. . . but I didn't answer them. . . one of the men put a gun to my head. I still didn't tell them anything. . ."

Harm visibly cringed at the thought of Mac having to endure any form of torture. "Is that when they locked you up?" He asked, watching her pace around before him. He longed to bring her into his arms and shelter her from the world. But, she wouldn't let him if he tried.

"They stuck me in an asylum when I spent most of the time under heavy sedation." Mac nodded. "I am still surprised they didn't just kill me. . ."

"No." He said in a strong voice. The thought of Mac dying wasn't something that he ever wanted to think about. " I don't want you dead, Mac." She didn't look at him, just simply sat back down.

"They shot me up with god knows what." She raised her sleeves up and showed them both the tracks. If they didn't know better, Mac's arms looked like those of a heroine addict.

Harm gasped at the sight and clenched his fists. He had the overwhelming feeling to kill someone for what had happened to her. "Why did they put you there?"

"Because I knew too much. . or at least they think I did. . . I figured that they would keep me there until things were settled. . .then they would use me to find the diamonds. . ."

AJ nodded and she was glad that she didn't have to mention the word 'murder.' It made her shiver each time I thought about it. "So they set you and Webb up. . . did you manage to find anything else out?"

She looked at him and leaned in whispering softly. "I know where the diamonds are. I just don't know who to trust with the information I have. . . The agency is a mess."

Harm and AJ just looked at each other and then back at Mac who looked like she was going to drop at any moment. AJ stood. "The CIA had long since become decadent. The attacks on America have opened holes in it's credibility the size of the Titanic. And they are trying an means possible to plug up the leaks."

"So there are credited members like Webb who are trying anything to get it back to how it was?" Harm said

"Exactly. . ." AJ picked up the file with the pictures and stuffed it back into his briefcase. I spoke to SECNAV today and I told him that unless it is pertinent to one of our cases, my officers will not be used to play cloak and dagger anymore. He agreed."

Harm stood and walked with the Admiral towards his door. "She doesn't look well." AJ whispered to Harm. "Take care of her. . .I'll see what can be done from my end." AJ said as he made it to the door. "I would give you a few days leave, but that would look conspicuous." He nodded and patted Harm on the back. "I won't breathe a word of this to anyone. . .Be careful." With that, he walked to the elevator. He knew that the Admiral would protect his officers from wrongful persecution.

"Are you alright?" Harm said as he made it over to Mac who, looked completely exhausted.

Mac nodded. "Yea, I just need some sleep.

"You can crash on my bed, Mac. I'll take the sofa." He said, headed in the direction of his bedroom.

Mac shook her head. "No. . I like it here." Harm knew better than to argue with her on certain points. Instead, he said his goodnights and headed into this bedroom. This time sleep came easier for him as his mind was bombarded with so much new information that it wiped him out.

Mac sat in the living room and finished stuffing her clothing back into the bag. When Mac was sure that Harm had fallen asleep, she reached for the phone and quietly called a cab. She'd officially gotten him involved. Not only did he have the information, he was also keeping her hidden in his home. Eventually she knew that they would come looking for her there and it would be the end of everything for Harm. She couldn't bare him losing the Navy for her again. Before leaving, she watched him for a few moments. He was everything in the world to her and much more. She couldn't let him be the next person who died because of her. So, she decided to do what she thought was right. . . she left his home.