"Is this not what you wanted?" Ardyn asked his wide eyed brother. Somnus's blue eyes turned away from him at the question.
"I… Uh..." Somnus swallowed, his mouth dry. He didn't know what to say. Had his brother just kissed him? And it wasn't an innocent peck on the forehead like their parents used to do. His brother had pushed him against the door of his room and roughly pressed their mouths together.
But why? The younger Caelum could only wonder.
"There is no need to be shy here. No one else is around but us." Ardyn said. "I have noticed what you've been doing throughout this last year Somnus."
"What do you mean?" Somnus asked, turning his face back to his brother in confusion. Ardyn tilted his head and smiled at him. The smile brought an ache to Somnus's heart. It had been a very long time since he had seen such an expression directed at him. But the younger brother once again noticed that something seemed off in Ardyn's gaze.
"The way you'd draw close whenever I would come around. The way you would gaze at me at every opportunity. Your numerous little attempts at catching my attention. The many times you'd try and concoct some silly little plan to get me alone with you." Ardyn explained. "I tried to distance myself when I saw what was happening. That your affection for me might be more than what was acceptable for siblings."
Wait, what? No… That's not how it was…
Was it?
"Wait, Ardyn. I-" Somnus tried to explain. But Ardyn shook his head, causing him to falter in his words.
"However, you were so very persistent. I didn't want to think about it… But Somnus, you did not stop trying."
Somnus was at a loss. He thought back on the last year, is that how Somnus's actions seemed to Ardyn? He tried to recall the events leading up to this but things were strangely unclear.
Something seemed wrong about that.
The younger Caelum closed his eyes and concentrated. He remembered Ardyn becoming distant with him but he couldn't recall much of their life before that. He remembered their parents dying but couldn't recall their funeral or even the reaction of anyone else to their deaths. He remembered Gilgamesh's death but could not recall anything of the battle he fought in. And yet he was sure he had fought at his mentor's side. He always had. Somnus also remembered Ardyn's birthday but he did not recall many weeks before or after that, not until his own birthday. And so much more.
Other things seemed wrong as well, now that Somnus thought about it. Why did he not remember a single name of any of his servants or soldiers? Why could he not remember their faces? Was there something wrong with him? How could Somnus not recall such things?
And why had he not noticed this until now?
As quick as these thoughts, and the panic with them, had come, they fled from Somnus's head when he looked at his brother's golden eyes. Wait, golden? When had-
Somnus shook his head, trying to remember what he was thinking of. Right, Ardyn.
And what Somnus had done to him.
"I fear I've become rather fond of the idea of us together. I've only ever desired your happiness." Ardyn was saying to him.
Looking back, Somnus could see how Ardyn might think such a thing. He really had been rather insistent. He had not taken the hint and continually pursued his brother's company even when he knew with certainty Ardyn did not want to see him. And even when he stopped that, the younger younger Caelum continually watched him. He really hadn't been discreet about it.
That was why Ardyn refused to come close to him. Maybe that was why he left so often. It had been Somnus's own fault.
And why had Somnus been so hell-bent on getting his brother's attention anyway? Was there maybe some truth to what Ardyn seemed to believe? The younger Caelum would have said no previously, however now he was unsure.
It felt as if Ardyn was the only real thing in his life, with everything else almost like a dream. He hadn't realized until now how empty everything else felt. Now that Ardyn was back in his presence, things felt like they made sense.
… Was what his brother thought true? Or was it normal to feel that way towards a sibling? Somnus didn't think so. He didn't remember feeling like this before.
The younger Caelum also felt terrible. Ardyn had tried to do the right thing when he noticed Somnus's actions. And in return Somnus just made things worse. Like some obsessed suitor, he had watched his brother, tried to force them to be in the same place, been uncaring of his uncomfortableness because he wanted his company? And now it had led to this.
Somnus had created those feelings in his brother thanks to his own selfishness.
"Was I wrong in this?" Ardyn asked. "I don't think I am but it may be that you are unsure of what you desire, my brother."
Somnus said nothing, unable to. What could he say to him now? What had he done ?
"Ah, I see that may be the case. I suppose we can go back to how things used to be. We can forget all of this happened." Ardyn seemed both hurt and disappointed. The look on his face once again made Somnus's heart ache.
The elder Caelum stepped away and Somnus panicked.
"Wait, no!" Somnus cried out, grabbing onto his brother's shirt to prevent him from leaving. He didn't want to go back to Ardyn ignoring him. Their parents were gone, Gilgamesh was gone. Who did he have left? There was no one.
The servants and soldiers of the castle barely interacted with Somnus unless it had to do with official duties. There was no one else he really interacted with. He felt so alone. Somnus really didn't want to go back to that.
Somnus made his older brother feel this way by his constant pursual. And now he was making Ardyn suffer over it? Here his dear brother was once again doing the right thing by letting Somnus decide where things should lead.
What did Somnus do to deserve a brother like him? He regretted all of the anger he held towards him. This situation was his own fault, not Ardyn's. He would face what he had created.
Somnus stepped forward and pulled Ardyn down to press his own lips to his brother's. A hesitant action as he was still so very unsure. The elder Caelum seemed pleased at the act, responding just a little. Not rough like last time, which would have been too much for Somnus. Maybe he knew that.
It was strange to do this, the younger brother thought as he pulled back. This was his brother.
But Ardyn seemed to be okay with it, and more than that with the way he was smiling at Somnus now. His soft expression once again caused some pain in the younger Caelum's heart.
… If it was as wrong as Somnus thought it was, Ardyn would not be doing it, or even wanting it, right? And he seemed so happy.
"I am sorry, Ardyn." Somnus apologized after a moment. "I'm sorry I made you feel this way. I'm sorry for not leaving things well enough alone... Truly, I do not understand what I feel. You do not have to continue any of this."
"It is alright Somnus. I have accepted this." Ardyn reached and pulled his brother close to him, wrapping his arms around him in an embrace. "And if you do truly want this as well, we can be together despite what anyone else may think. Our word is final here. Know that I love you dearly, in any way you wish me to."
"I love you too Ardyn. And I've missed you." Somnus murmured. This felt odd but… It also felt nice. To have someone close by again. Someone he trusted and loved. He wasn't alone as long as Ardyn was here. Things would be alright now... At the direction of his thoughts, Somnus realized maybe Ardyn was right.
"You… You don't know how much I've wished for that." Ardyn cooed. "To hear you say those words."
There was so much desire in that voice and Somnus was a little taken aback. Had he really created such longing in his brother?
"I suppose we have some catching up to do." Ardyn said as he let him go. "It has been a rather lonely without you, you know."
"Yeah…" Somnus averted his gaze from his brother, feeling rather embarrassed now.
"I know it's quite late but why don't I dust off that old chess set in my room and we can play a game or two?" Ardyn saw his younger brother's eyes light up at the suggestion.
"Yes!" Somnus responded, forgetting his embarrassment in his excitement. They hadn't played chess in ages. He had missed that too.
But then the younger Caelum remembered something.
"Oh, wait... Brother, I need to get something. I promise I will be back." The gift. He needed to get Ardyn's gift. He hoped it wasn't broken...
"Of course. Just come back whenever you are ready." The elder brother watched Somnus turn around and dash off in the direction of his room. He didn't see the grin slowly form on Ardyn's face.