Chapter 38: Crashing into Reality

Crashing into Reality

As Sage felt the curse lift from him and the air course into his lungs, he felt his anger rise up in him as if his blood were boiling. He focused on his uncle's wand as the man walked away from him again.

Severus turned with lightning speed as his wand flew out of his hand. Sage did not even bother to snatch it out of the air. He was too busy coughing up blood, shaking off the after-effects of the curse, and wiping his bloody lips on his sleeve.

His uncle smiled dangerously, "Ah, the proper circumstances arise to test your merit to do something about this impending danger you are so worried about."

Sage made an attempt to send a curse at his uncle before the man could send another one at him. A bottle full of unrecognizable objects exploded next Severus. Missed or deflected.

Before he even realized that he had not been able to direct the curse, he was thrown back against the wall again. It seemed that this time Severus was being generous in giving Sage a small chance to defend himself. The curse did not seem to have done anything to him other than send him flying into the air.

Instead of watching his spells to see whether or not they were successful, Sage should have been moving out of the way. He had greatly underestimated both how talented and practiced his uncle was with such things, but also how far the man was willing to take this. Even without his wand, it seemed as if Severus was not having much trouble deflecting Sage attempts and then answering them with spells of his own.

Sage's breaths were labored, but he didn't want to give up so easily. In a sharp moment, Sage was struck with the fact that his wandless magic was much better directed when he said the words aloud. As he struck the wall one more time, he bellowed at the top of his lungs "Impedimenta".

The strength of it and Severus's miscalculation about how fast Sage would be able to throw another curse, resulted in him getting hit by it. In a very satisfying moment for Sage, his uncle flew off his feet and smacked into the wall with such force that there had to be a mark left behind.

Sage could not help but allow a very beaten but satisfied smirk cross his face for a moment. He exhaled deeply, figuring it would be a few seconds before Severus would react. When he looked up to assess, he saw his uncle already standing up, and now having recovered his wand.

Almost as fast as if it were instinctive, Sage put up his hand and then did what he had already done with both Malfoy and Karkaroff. It was shocking and disheartening how difficult it was to hold back someone who actually was powerful from casting any spells. The sheer force of the power he was holding back felt like a concrete slab pushing against him and pinning him between the wall and the slab. He felt like something of a pimple between the two.

Only then had he truly appreciated the fact that whatever he had managed with Malfoy and with Karkaroff had not been very much, and that he would have trouble doing so against a real adversary.

He held on still as the pressure seemed to halt his breathing. His uncle's face bore an odd sort of smirk. His hand was shaking now and white and cold.

Severus pulled his wand up slightly and the power that Sage was holding back seemed to grow twofold. He grunted, straining.

"A pitiful attempt, I must say, for being a Magi and my nephew. Then again you haven't made any practical application of this subject matter, have you? Why is that? Ahh, yes, because you have so little control and focus that I would not allow it. But yet you think there is something only you can do."

Sage gritted his teeth. His mouth still tasted salty, and he was unsure now whether it was blood or sweat. As Severus stalked up to him, he became certain that it would only be possible to hold him off for few more seconds.

He fell down onto his knees as his face contorted with his last remaining efforts to hold his uncle back.

Finally, he pulled back and gave up. He sat on the floor panting, crusted with blood, and dripping with sweat as his uncle stood over him.

After three minutes of absolute silent torture, Severus snarled, "I may be obligated to let you stay, but I am not obligated to like it, nor am I obligated to allow you to disrespect me."

"I never meant to, sir," he replied, between deep breaths.

"And I won't allow you to have any delusions of grandeur that will serve no purpose other than to put you in the sort of danger that you are not currently capable of handling. It should now be quite clear to you exactly how strong you are not and why you needed to stay there. If something is indeed going to happen, you had better hope that you do not come across more than one very inept and ill-trained Death Eater because you would find yourself with five minutes to live."

Sage looked up, "Help me then, train me."

"I tried to help you by sending you there, you returned. And I will not train you to do this until you have proven that you have enough discipline to do it. You clearly do not have it, nor do I envision you having it anytime soon. You must learn to focus first, and you do not seem to understand that fact. You are content with using your raw, uncontrolled powers. As you can see, that is not enough. You will die only too quickly if you continue to try and do things this way. Discipline your mind. Control yourself."

The man crossed his arms against his chest, ending the discussion.

Sage stalked into the Gryffindor common room, completely forgetting the fact that he had not been there in weeks. Or that he had blood on his shirt and looked an absolute wreck.

When he looked at all the curious faces staring at him, he suddenly felt the urge to disappear. He was well aware that he looked as if he had just come out of a losing battle, but he was unwanting of any attention. Perhaps he had been foolish to come back when there really was not much that he could do.

As he was passing the middle of the room, while blocking out all of the other students, he felt someone grab him by the arm.

"Sage, where have you been, what happened to you? Merlin, your bleeding, your neck is all bloody," Hermione said, shaking him.

He scowled softly, "I'm fine, leave me alone."

But she was already looking for the source of the blood on his neck. He tried in vain to slap her hand away from his head but was unsuccessful. She already had one hand buried deep in his hair, feeling around on his scalp.

"Ugh!" she pulled her hand back. "You have a huge gash on your head, you need to see Madame Pomfrey."

He turned to face her and she her hand away. "I told you I am fine. It's nothing serious. Can't you just leave me be?"

She put her hands on her hips, "No, I can't. Not when you are bleeding like that, this isn't just a cut. You need help."

"I'm not going to see Madame Pomfrey, Hermione, so just leave it be."

"At least tell me what happened and let me put something on it to stop the bleeding."

"No, don't you understand. Stop fussing. I don't need your help."

"Yes, you do," she said in her know-it-all tone, "You are just too proud to accept it."

"Stop pushing into my business, Hermione, I'm not going to say it again. Now move out of my way or I will move you."

She crossed her arms in front of her and frowned. "I'm not moving, Sage. If you try and move me, I'll just tell Professor McGonagall that you came back all bloodied up and need some medical attention. You wouldn't be able to say no to her."

"That's what you think, not that I really believe that you would go and get her anyway."

"Watch me," she answered defiantly.

"Fine, you tell the professor that I'll be in my room." With that he pushed her out of his way and strode off.

He slammed his door behind him and circled the room once, fuming. The girl was so persistent.

Slowly, he took of his cloak, being careful not to aggravate any of his impending bruises.

Hermione stared after him and then began walking to the portrait hole, hell bent on getting McGonagall. That would teach him once and for all not to treat her that way. Suddenly she stopped, why was she allowing him to push her around? Perhaps he was tall, strong, smart, and powerful, but he would certainly not do anything to harm her. He couldn't. All he could do was threaten.

She smirked. She would do something even better than getting McGonagall.

Once she had a small towel, a basin of water, and an antiseptic salve, she strode as fearlessly as she could up to his door. For only a brief second she considered knocking, but instead she simply said his password and barged through the door.

She caught a brief look of absolute horror pass over his face as he perhaps thought that she had gone to get McGonagall and that she had just barged in on him. That look turned to complete discomfort in the matter of a split second. He seemed incredibly uncomfortable that she had just caught him standing there with nothing but a pair of dark grey pajama pants on.

"What the bloody hell do you think you are doing!"

She couldn't help but giggle as he searched around for his shirt in a slightly frantic manner. She certainly did not pass up the chance to appraise him. He was fit and not as lanky as she recalled. He had definitely been doing something strenuous during those weeks he was gone.

He seemed to grow more disconcerted as she looked at him, and was not able to locate his shirt with much success.

"Oh give over, it's not as if you have something to hide."

He glared at her venomously. "Get out!"

"No, you are going to let me fix up your head."

"You have no right to be in here. This is completely inappropriate." He crossed his arms across his chest self-consciously. "I could have been-I could have-."

"For Merlin's sake you aren't naked!" As she said this, she couldn't help but stare at the soft looking black hair that made a T shape from his chest straight down to his exposed navel.

"I very well could have been!" He boomed.

She put down her items, "But you are not…Someone has to help you, and since you won't go to the hospital wing, I am going to help you whether you like it or not."

He growled like a wounded animal.

"You have blood running down your back, you realize. It's not just going to heal itself."

Still growling, although now much more softly, he reached up to the back of his head. He must have hit it on the corner of a picture frame one of the times he had been slammed against the wall. A few tingles went down his neck as his fingers met the deep gash. It was strange that it did not hurt at all, but after the sort of pain he was used to with his visions, he suspected that a gash was not anything comparable.

He sighed deeply, closing his eyes, and pulled his fingers away from the gaping cut on his scalp. It was bleeding profusely, as head wounds were wont to do. He wiped his bloody hand on his pajama pants and then crossed his arms.

Hermione raised an eyebrow at him with a rather stern look on her face. She held up the towel she was still holding.

Sage blinked once, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He stared deeply into her eyes, trying to judge whether she was likely to just leave if he kept on being insistent enough. The candle light flickered against her caramel colored hair, highlighting its many colored strands. He let a huff of air out his nose. She was stubborn and not very frightened away by his demeanor. She never had been afraid of him or weary of him. In fact, she had been annoyingly persistent about breaking straight through him, whether he liked it or not and whether he allowed it or not.

"Will you be quiet and cease to berate me if I allow you to patch that up," he asked, flicking an eyebrow upward indicating the cut.

She pursed her lips. Had he really just politely asked her to simply shut up? He had, but she would let it go. Afterall, he was letting her help him and that was what she came for.

"Yes, although you could be a little more grateful."

He furrowed his brow and growled again. He would be grateful if she would just leave. She was lucky he was simply being tolerant. He did not need her help, nor anyone else's.

"It was merely a suggestion," she said, dipping the towel into the warm water. "But I see you have your impenetrable wall up as always. I liked you better last year, you know, when you only had the wall built up to your eyes, so that you could still see clearly around you."

She could be quite sarcastic when she wanted. She had even said it with a fake disgust.

"Perhaps I would let the wall down if you weren't constantly beseiging me," he replied tartly, allowing a corner of his mouth to turn upwards sourly.

"Ho ho. Why don't you just lie down so that I can fix that up. That way we can both get back to our peace."

He glowered at her, fixing his deep blue eyes on her brown ones. She looked away. Finally, he uncrossed his arms and got onto his stomach on the bed.

She pulled an upholstered chair up next to the bed and the placed the basin and the salve on the bed next to her.

He rested his head on his elbow and forearm, watching her every move.

The blood streak that went down his back contrasted greatly with his chalk white skin. She wiped that off first and then noticed that there were several red blotches on his back, blotches that looked as if they would soon be bruises. She moved his hair out of the way, wetting it and then parting it so that she could see the cut better. Her lips puckered up at the sight of it. It was rather gross looking for something that was not very serious. The skin was peeled away from the tissue underneath on one side, and she could see the muscle.

"Rather squeamish. I thought you tougher than that," he said bitterly, observing the look on her face.

"I thought we weren't going to talk," she asked, throwing her eyes at his for a brief second before she looked back down at his head.

"We aren't. I was merely making an observation."

She pushed the towel up against the gash to stop the bleeding and held it there, staring everywhere but at his face.

The warm water rolled down his neck slowly. It did feel good, he had to admit. Not that he would ever say that it did.

After a few moments she sighed deeply, with a slight frustration.

"Why won't you ever talk to me, Sage?"

He growled and turned his head away. "Because I don't feel the need."

"But I know you do," she answered, pushing his hair out of the way again softly.

He snorted, "Really? And how is that?"

She took the towel away from his head and began to open the jar.

"Because I can tell something is wrong, that something is on your mind."

"You know nothing about me," he stated bitterly, with a certain finality.

She persisted, "I know enough. You did let me in enough last year to make it easy for me to see that you are not yourself."

"Perhaps I was not myself last year, did you ever think of that?"

"You are deluding yourself, Sage, if you think that this is who you really are. It is not. You are denying yourself."

"I am not naïve and good like Harry and Ron are, no matter what you want to think of me," he spat with disgust.

"For certain you are not naïve and you are also nothing like Harry and Ron, but that doesn't mean that you aren't good."

Her know-it-all tone was like someone constantly poking him in the ribs – plainly annoying. "Just stop already, you are giving me a headache."

She frowned at him deeply, "Oh yes, and it couldn't be the huge lump and gash on your head giving you the headache?"

Sage growled again, turning his head back to her to give her a dirty look.

Thanks for all your great reviews!

VD – yes, that line about invading his mind was meant to be sort of funny. Sorry I left you with a cliffhanger. No matter how pissed off Snape gets at Sage, he does remember somewhere under his thick skull that Sage is all that he has. Underneath all his seeming cruelty is a lot of care. He doesn't want anything to happen to Sage, and he know that many things can go wrong in a rather deadly fashion. He'll do whatever it takes to get Sage to realize that he needs to be more controlled and disciplined. That's what these two chapters have been about. Sage isn't a child anymore either, which makes it easier for Sev to come down on him harder, its not as if Sage is going to be scarred, he's tough.

Shadowy Cat – I have been checking everyday for your update. I hope it is coming soon! I agree with all that you've said in your reviews. I've been purposely making them have the same argument over and over for a reason, of course. It's just the reason that you've kind of pointed out, Sage just does not get it. He's a teenager afterall and although he doesn't act like a child, he still is a bit of a prat. He doesn't realize that he has not seen the whole picture yet, and now that he does some things are going to change. The flipside is that Severus does not know how to deal with him more effectively, so they argue of course. The two of them are supposed to be sort of frustrating to the reader because they are both frustrated with the other. They don't like having the same problems over and over again just like you don't. Sorry I went off on a tangent here, I was just sort of excited that I elicited the response that I wanted. Also, you've anticipated the fact that Sage is going to have a jump in his abilities, perhaps a bit more disciple too, which is something else I've been setting up for. ;-) You'll just have to wait and see when and why and how.

Sibyl – I didn't think I lost you! Thanks for the reassurance though. Good luck in school. Where are you going? Major? I'm so annoyingly inquisitive, I know. You'll do wonderfully I am sure. In some ways college does require even less of your time. That's how I found it at least. Hee hee. Yes, something is going to happen with Sage's dreaming/vision ability. It's his best honed ability to date, at least right now. Also Snape does care a lot, but has an odd way of expressing it. He's not a mushy guy. He wouldn't push Sage so hard if he didn't care, In fact, it'd be a whole lot easier for Snape to not constantly be on him and a lot less frustrating. Snape is harsh for a reason. Hee hee see what I wrote to VD if you haven't read it already. ;-)

Carpathia – Glad that you liked it and glad that I am keeping things in focus. I never get tired of hearing how well you see things and how well things flow together.

LadyJavert- Glad that you reviewed, it was so wonderful and helpful. Very detailed too, I love that. I can't believe that you read both fics that fast. That's a good 400 pages in MS Word. ;-) I am glad that you think Sage is a believable teenager. I wasn't really teenager-like when I was a teen so it's hard to write him, especially since I am a girl. Hee hee. It's importrant to me that he is believeable and fallible bc I don't want him to be thought of as a gary stu. Blah, evil sinful words. I'm glad that you think he deserves every slap because I would be loathe to think that anyone believed my Snape to be an abuser or anything the like. There is a slight bit of seduction in what he expects from Sage, I find it a bit alluring as well in a strange sort of way. So either you are not sick or we both are sick, however you like it. Thank you so much for saying that the fic is awesome and that Snape is in character. Can't wait to hear more from you and what you think of this next chapter. I have an email update list, if you would like to be added, let me know to add you and leave me your email addy. ;-)