(A/N: This started life as an idea for a tiny, funny story in which Thor had somehow never realised the origins of the word Thursday. It spiralled into something quite long that took a bit of a detour into angst, though with strong tones of brotherly love and a discovery of how sassy Loki's narrative voice is in my head.
It's set in a universe where everyone either never dies or miraculously returns in Infinity War and Endgame, because I'm creating my own endings, thanks. Loki comes back to life not long after Thanos kills him, yells at Thor a lot for nearly killing himself with a star, helps him set up New Asgard and then in the final Endgame battle has the idea that perhaps all the Avengers could wield the gauntlet together, because that's still my headcanon. I invite you to accept this premise and all its potential delights, and not question any of the resurrections conducted by the author for the purposes of this story.
Basically, I think we can universally agree what happened to Loki in Infinity War is still not okay, and apparently I'm dealing with this by converting a daft little idea into about 9,000 words of therapy.)
It starts, as so many of the challenges of Loki's life do, with Thor.
An invitation arrives for the rulers of New Asgard to visit the freshly completed Avengers compound in the United States. Or it would be more accurate to say that Thor is being invited, and Loki's name has presumably been included to avoid international incident. Loki keeps this thought in the privacy of his own head because Thor tends to initiate 'help Loki make human friends' protocols whenever he voices such notions, and there's a real danger Loki will crack and murder him if it happens one more time.
It's been two years since the Mad Titan's 'snap' was reversed; two years since the half of Asgard's people who were slain on the Statesman returned and found their way to Midgard. The way that New Asgard has grown and flourished in the meantime is, frankly, one of the greatest sources of pride Loki has ever felt in his life. It is a simple society, nothing to the wealth and heritage of the old Asgard, and yet perhaps that is not the worst thing. They are creating something new here, not something built on the gold Odin butchered other realms to obtain. Their people are so few now, this whole life sometimes feels painfully fragile, yet here Loki hears children laugh in joy untainted by the darkness. Terrible grief might haunt them all but there is new life here, new beginnings to be made.
Thor is their king, by right and beyond question, and Loki stays as his close advisor, not as a ruler himself. As such it is far from what he always coveted and yet he is at peace with it. He is respected in New Asgard, even welcomed, as himself rather than as the facsimile of his father. He is still finding his feet - all of them are - but there is steady ground beneath him, and that is a start.
There is still much to be done, of course, not least because sharing a planet with Midgardians necessitates a great deal of diplomacy - the sort that is about deft, clever words rather than the sort delivered with the blade of an axe. Which is why it is just as well for his brother (and the rest of their people) that Loki did not have anywhere else he needed to be, these past years.
Complex as negotiations and building a small country out of nothing but a patch of land have been, things are settled enough now that Thor is determined to accept the Avengers' invitation and Loki can see no particular reason to stop him. This is unfortunate, and not for want of trying. Loki wastes an entire day trying to drum up some kind of trouble in the town, because Thor is keen for Loki to join him on his journey and the idea of spending a fortnight in the company of Midgard's beloved heroes is enough to make him wish he'd stayed on Asgard during Ragnarok. Loki has seen them only in passing since the war; many of them have visited New Asgard but Loki has industriously found business elsewhere whenever international contingents stop by, except when Thor has tricked him into attending some banquet or other. Somewhat to his surprise, at those events he's managed to exchange a few conversations with them without anyone starting a brawl, but beyond that he's under no illusions that he would be welcome anywhere near them. They certainly hold a grudge, these mortals - he'd only attempted to subjugate their planet once, after all, and it had been a half-hearted effort at best, but they were determined not to let it go.
The point is, Loki tries to incite rebellion amongst his people as a means to distract Thor from making him go to America, fails spectacularly, and actually gets laughed at by several people when he suggests it which all ultimately means he is tragically losing his edge. Thor hears about the whole business and of course he thinks it's hilarious, and barely catches his breath long enough to tell Loki they'll be leaving within the hour.
Loki doesn't even try to stab him once, which is a damning indictment of his life these days as well.
They leave Brunnhilde and Heimdall in command. Brunnhilde because being the last Valkyrie, returned against all hope in the fight against Hela, has granted her an almost mythical status as a symbol of hope among the Asgardians that not even her heavy drinking and occasional inclination towards bloody violence have damaged. Once she stopped actively trying to kill Loki, she also turned out to have a great mind for leadership and got stuck right in to building efforts, both strategic and literal. Nine times out of ten now Loki doesn't even mean it when he threatens to kill her back, which makes her one of the closest friends he's ever had. Strangely enough, he thinks the feeling is mutual.
And Heimdall is in command with her because Thor has (rather bravely, to give him credit) said that several of Brunnhilde's favourite problem solving techniques should probably be made illegal under New Asgardian law, and Heimdall has an air of calm that balances her well and sufficient mystical powers to overrule most arguments. They also make an excellent defence system because Heimdall of course can see threatens coming (Loki is so very glad that power works just as well on Midgard, it's really fantastic that he still gets those sarcastic remarks all the time) and Brunnhilde is more than happy to beat them up when they arrive.
Loki and Thor travel by Bifrost, and it is at least something in his brother's favour that Loki has only rarely had to interact with Midgardian transport systems. The idea of his brother stuck on a long plane journey is entertaining in theory but, as the person who'd be there with him, Loki is glad he doesn't have to endure it.
The visit is ostensibly intended to show all the Avengers, old and new, around the compound, rebuilt to replace the one so thoroughly razed by Thanos. In reality, as Loki very quickly discovers, it is half an opportunity to pull everyone into very dull diplomatic meetings about international and interplanetary politics, defence strategies and training programs for the new, expanded Avengers - and half an excuse for a huge reunion that road tests the durability of the new compound by getting the most powerful people on Midgard together and letting them get really, really drunk.
Repeatedly.
That, after all, is what happens when people let Stark get involved in the organisation.
Loki's presence is received about as well as he'd expected. The original six Avengers are all present, along with significant others and even children like they've decided this is a great opportunity for the world's most dangerous family holiday. There is also an ever increasing number of new additions to the Avenger ranks that Loki mentally catalogues out of sheer habit because one of them might go rogue and attack New Asgard one day, but they are also getting increasingly ridiculous so he's not too worried.
In terms of interactions, Barton, obviously, still tries to shoot him every time they see each other. This is somewhat unfair, all things considered, because it's a really long time since Loki has done anything to him. Still, the man's wife and three small spawn are there with him and Loki is willing to accept that a small amount of pre-emptive defensiveness on the man's part is reasonable. He avoids Barton as much as he can, because Thor tends to look upset upon realising his friends are trying to kill his brother again. It's not like Loki is concerned about any real threats he can't easily handle, but he feels a rather discomforting sense of guilt whenever Thor adopts that wounded look and it's better to avoid it in the first place.
Romanov does not seem to regard him as a threat any more; although she stands between him and Barton whenever they cannot avoid each other's presence, he senses this is more to reassure Barton than because she expects Loki to attack. The more pressing issue is that she seems to derive great amusement from referring to Loki as a 'mewling quim' rather than by name, and he's really not alright with it.
Banner might be intelligent enough company, were he occupying his human form, but the hybrid he's formed with the beast unsettles Loki enough that he avoids him too - Banner might have tamed the creature's anger, but Loki will not be quick to forget how thoroughly the Hulk is able to subdue Asgardians. Then there's Rogers, who regards Loki with a wary caution. He's basically amenable, but he makes such a point of being polite that Loki can't stand talking to him.
As for the newer additions to the Avengers, their reactions are a mixed bunch which, according to Thor, Loki must take a certain amount of responsibility for. They've heard enough about the New York business to colour their impressions, and apparently it didn't help that when the more formal introductions were made after Thanos's defeat Loki told them they were welcome for him being the impetus in the original formation of the Avengers. Several people tried to stab or shoot him. Thor actually facepalmed. Loki still thinks it was hilarious.
Strange, obviously, dislikes him, which is perfectly fine because Loki intends to kill him at the first opportunity that arises to do so with plausible deniability. While he's stopped short of actual murder thus far, Loki makes himself feel better over the first few days in the compound by setting a series of increasingly complex parallel dimensions between Strange's bedroom door and his bed every night. Strange clearly knows it's him and is equally clearly building up to some kind of retaliation. It would be a welcome break from the monotony of spending time with Thor's friends and Loki, quite frankly, is looking forward to it.
Given that the alternative is having to talk to them, Loki is glad the others give him a wide berth with a couple of notable exceptions. The young, overenthusiastic one - who despite the similarity in code names is apparently not Romanoff's child, though through observing various interactions Loki is coming to think he may be Stark's illegitimate offspring - happens to catch Loki casting a small enchantment to create an artificial copy of Stormbreaker that his brother's hand will pass through when he tries to pick it up. Parker is fascinated and immediately sets about asking an endless series of questions about Loki's various abilities. It's a strange experience because Parker doesn't appear remotely nervous around him and uses phrases like 'dude, that's AWESOME' after every other sentence Loki speaks. Loki is, obviously, awesome, but that's not the reaction he's used to and he finds himself slightly startled every time.
Oddly enough, what all this leaves is that it's Stark he gets on with best. The bar might not be particularly high for the most part, but Stark remains willing to hold actual conversations with him and seems prepared to let bygones be bygones, even though he came closer to dying as a result of the New York incident than any of the rest of them. He has a quick wit that he directs at everyone with an equal lack of mercy and a sharp mind that creates things closer to Asgardian technology than anyone outside of Wakanda on this entire planet. He is also inclined to be grateful to Loki because it was his idea to get everyone to rally at Stark's side during that desperate battle and bear the power of the infinity stones together. In addition to saving the planet (which, hello, a little more gratitude from everyone else would not be out of place), this act saved Stark's life - if he'd succeeded in vanquishing Thanos with the gauntlet on his own, the stones certainly would have killed him. It wasn't Loki's motivation, but he's not altogether unhappy it happened.
Then there's also the unexpected fact that Stark has an even smaller child here with him who is an intelligent and fearless little girl, and evidently finds Thor and Loki to be the most interesting visitors in the compound. This is obviously accurate - of Loki, at least, and perhaps Thor is therefore interesting by association - but it is gratifying to have someone recognise it. He's aware that plenty of people have tried to discourage and distract Morgan Stark from following the pair of them around, but none of it takes and they find themselves with a small shadow full of incessant questions and bright laughter.
All in all Loki finds the trip exhausting, through the combination of making a wilful effort to engage in the meetings (because now that he has a vested interest in the protection of this planet, their plans sorely need a dose of intelligence) and an even more colossal effort not to set any of his temporary housemates on fire.
He tends to seek solitude in the evenings, which most people are more than happy to afford him. Thor splits his time between raucous parties with his friends and deciding that Loki's desire for isolation obviously isn't meant to include him. It should make Loki furious, but...
Well.
It isn't always the absolute worst. Thor does at least seem capable of periods of stillness and quiet these days and has even been seen lifting the cover of a book occasionally, and Loki finds that sitting peacefully with his brother isn't completely terrible.
It is on one such afternoon, a Thursday almost a week after their arrival with the meetings and tours of the day wrapped up a little earlier than usual, that Loki and Thor wind up acquiring their small companion as they sit in a comfortable little relaxation space. The rest of the Avengers are thankfully giving them a wide berth, which means they're at least possessed of the basic intelligence to pick up on the intense irritation that's been building in Loki all day. Thor, of course, is determined to keep him company whether Loki likes it or not, but Loki himself is fairly content settled in a comfortable chair with a little light reading; there is a stack of textbooks on the table in front of him. He's reading a tome on world history at present, but there are others on geography and science in the pile too. He finds it enormously entertaining; they're worse than an Asgardian child's study notes. The science texts are particularly adorable.
Morgan joined them almost as soon as they settled in the room; Loki suspects the assistance of their AI minder, FRIDAY, who unsurprisingly seems as incapable of refusing the child as the father who programmed the system. Morgan had appeared quietly, slipped her tiny hand into Thor's, and told him she wanted warrior braids in her hair. Thor's face had lit up, Loki had heaved a sigh and retreated behind his wall of books, and now his brother the king of Asgard is sitting sideways on the sofa with Morgan in front of him. They're a strange matching pair, both with their legs crossed and expressions of great concentration on their faces.
And, Loki will begrudgingly admit to himself, they are presently slightly distracting because the girl's questions are so entertaining. She's already worked her way through subjects including the technical workings of the infinity stones, how Thor was able to breathe in space and survive channelling the force of a star (and it may well be believed that Loki had a Conversation with his brother when he found out about that, capitalisation well deserved, because really) and how the Bifrost worked. Loki is fairly sure this is above average intelligence for someone her age, and possibly for the Avengers as a whole. Watching Thor flounder to answer these in a child-friendly way, if he even knew the answers himself, was even more entertaining than laughing at Midgard's grasp of the cosmos.
And then it gets even better.
"But you're not really the real Thor, are you?"
The allegedly unreal Thor is holding seven separate locks of Morgan's hair at once in a complicated pattern, but he still manages to lean forward to look quizzically at her. "What do you mean?"
"You're not really the Thor in all the old stories. Daddy says they're myths, and myths aren't real. FRIDAY says so, she looked it up for me."
"No, I really am that Thor," he says with the cheerful lack of awareness granted to one who hasn't realised how Midgard butchered their histories. (Loki has looked it up. Some of it is troubling, even to him.) He's focused back on his complicated weaving, though, and doesn't seem concerned. "The one and only."
"That's impossible," Morgan tells him firmly. "Those stories are thousands of years old. You only look about fifty."
"Fifty?" Thor looks like he'd lift a hand to his face in horror if he had one free. Loki smirks. "I don't look a day over thirty in Midgardian years."
"Well," Loki chips in from the corner, dragging the vowel out to an extraordinary length.
Thor narrows his eyes. "Nothing from you, thank you, brother."
The door to their quiet little world opens, and they both look up, but it is Thor who directs the fiercer scowl at the new arrival.
"What are you teaching your daughter, Stark?" he demands. "She doesn't think I'm actually Thor."
"I know you're Thor," Morgan says scathingly. "I just don't think that automatically means you're the Thor."
"That's my girl," Tony says, and his eyes are dancing with bright light when he looks at her. He is so proud, so fond, that even Loki feels perhaps a little warmed by it. This is how a father should look at his child. "Scientists always question established facts, Point Break. It's how genius happens."
He deposits a box of metal parts in Morgan's lap before continuing towards the little kitchen area in pursuit of the coffee machine. Morgan immediately starts sorting through the parts, nearly jerking her hair out of Thor's hold, and he has to hastily follow her movements. She pulls a screwdriver out of a pocket that didn't look big enough to contain it and sets to work. She really is her father's daughter.
"But if you are Thor," Morgan continues without looking up, and Loki has a split second to enjoy how suspicious she still sounds before she completely ruins everything, "that would mean today is your day."
No. No, no, no.
Loki has very deliberately never mentioned this to Thor. He has taken pains these last two years to encourage his brother to experience Midgard rather than study it, which was pretty easy given Thor's natural inclinations. And no other human has ever mentioned it in his hearing because few think about the origin of such things now. Loki knows, but Loki knows most things. He even managed to convince Thor that Googling himself meant something disgusting, which both prevented him from finding out from Wikipedia and led to some hilarious arguments between him and Stark.
There are options. Loki could hurry out of the room before Morgan explains, and at least not witness the reaction. He could transform Thor into something unpleasant and hope Morgan doesn't bring it up again. He could fill the room with illusions or set off the alarm systems. He could strike the child down before she keeps talking because this is a betrayal of the highest order, even if she doesn't know it - but he doesn't actually want to, and Loki really has gone soft, hasn't he?
Choosing a course of action takes a moment too long, and Thor is intrigued now.
"What do you mean?" he asks as he begins to weave the braid together at the back and tugs the hair tie down from his wrist. It is unconventional among warriors to finish their braids with pink scrunchies, but that was what Morgan handed Thor and he is clearly in no mind to argue.
"It's Thursday," Morgan says, and the heavy weight of doom settles in Loki's stomach. Surely the child should not be this intelligent; the Starks have a lot to answer for. "Thursday means Thor's Day. If you were the real Thor, you'd know that. Wouldn't you have parties every Thursday or something? Like it's your birthday every week?"
It is every bit as bad as Loki feared. Thor is in raptures; he looks ecstatic, and if he grins any harder there's a real chance his face might split in half. In a way, Loki almost envies it, that Thor can be like this. Loki is prepared to acknowledge that Thor has experienced terrible things of late; he feels the loss of their family, their planet, as acutely as Loki does, has perhaps lost more in his own way because Thor had good friends on Asgard where Loki had long felt detached from those around him. Thor has been beaten and wounded and maimed, has known despair that would have crippled others, has stood alone against terrible enemies and is now responsible for the ragged remains of an entire race. He has not had Loki's challenges, but he has had some Loki will never know.
(There is a place deep within Loki that he rarely acknowledges, even to himself, and certainly never to anyone else, where he thinks of the terror he felt when Thanos held the Power Stone to Thor's head, when his brother screamed and he could have died, died, and it was more than Loki could bear, worth trading an infinity stone for, worth giving up his own life to prevent. In that hidden, secret part of himself he knows now that he cannot, will not, endure the loss of his brother, and yet Thor - whose love he can believe now, and for whom it has always been so simple, so straightforward to give that love - has believed him lost so many times. And he has survived that too, and Loki is glad he does not know what that feels like; he never wants to find out.)
And yet Thor is capable of joy of such profound innocence as this; a few words from a child can illuminate him to his core, make him smile as if nothing else matters at all. Loki is hardly incapable of joy but he cannot remember the last time he knew it like this, for Thor seems utterly unburdened for a moment, like his soul has never known suffering at all.
So he does almost envy it, and he would be glad to see it, but right now it is also extremely irritating because Loki is never going to hear the end of this, and for him 'never' is an excruciatingly long time.
"Thor's Day," Thor echoes.
Ugh.
"Is this true?" he continues. "All this time, there's been a day on Earth named after me?"
"Huh." Stark emerges, the bitter smell of coffee wafting into the room as he comes back into the living space with a mug clasped in his hands. "Yeah, I guess so."
"Your ancestors had good taste indeed!" Thor booms happily. "They could not have chosen better!"
Morgan pats small hands across the intricate braid. Evidently deeming it acceptable, she clambers to her feet and turns round to face Thor and her father, still twisting bits of metal together.
"So you haven't had any parties for it?" she says, fixing Thor with a sad little frown. "But it's basically your birthday every week. Daddy, don't you think we should have a party?"
The child could have asked for a palace made of gold and Loki is pretty sure Stark would have procured it for her by that evening. The fact that she asked for a party, which is what Stark has spent the entire week throwing just because he enjoys it, really just brings them a step closer to the inevitable.
"You know what, Morgan, I think that's a fantastic idea." Stark comes over to rest a hand on Morgan's head, carefully stroking the braid. "What do you reckon, Point Break?"
Did Thor want a party to be thrown in his honour to celebrate the fact that Midgard had been naming things after him for a thousand years? There were several snide remarks poised on Loki's tongue - and yet he didn't give voice to them. Such derision would have been fair only a scant few years ago, but that is not who his brother is any more. Thor knows the burdens of leadership now, has aged more in the last handful of years than in centuries before, and it is a strange feeling but Loki does not want to take this away from him, does not want to poison that carefree smile that so rarely appears now.
Life was easier, in many ways, back when he was still telling himself he hated his brother. Now he finds himself wanting to protect him, but for Loki it seems that protecting someone else always comes at a cost to himself. He seems to die - or at least narrowly dodge death - every time he decides to save Thor's life. The stakes are not so great right now, but he wishes Thor's joy did not have to exist in tandem with this hurt that tugs at his own heart.
It would have been easier for Loki if Thor had never found out, but at least his brother is happy.
Sacrifice is not a colour Loki enjoys wearing, particularly when no one knows he's doing it, and his peaceful evening is slipping away in front of him like clouds before the wind.
Morgan is giving Thor an eager, hopeful look, and when Thor, naturally, caves to it in two seconds flat, she does a delighted little dance (Loki refuses to consider it cute) and immediately begins instructing Thor and Stark on what they are going to need for the party. She leaps off the sofa and puts down whatever she's working on to grab Thor, both of her hands together dwarfed by his, and begins hauling at him impatiently. She would have had as much luck moving a mountain if Thor hadn't wanted to move, but he goes willingly, giving her the same warm, fond and slightly bemused expression that he often has in response to children. Loki is expecting the three of them to disappear without another thought but as soon as she has Thor upright, Morgan turns her attention to Loki.
"You too," she says, already stern like she knows this will be a harder sell than Thor. "We'll need your help, Loki. Please."
There is very little in the world that Loki wants to do less than help prepare for a party hosted by one of his old nemeses that will be full of a large group of loud, obnoxious people that he hates to celebrate the fact that his brother has always been beloved by the planet Loki is now forced to live on. He is quite content in his quiet little corner with his stack of entertaining books and ability to cast enough glamours around him that a) no one will be able to find him and b) he can pretend he isn't on Midgard.
And there is very little that might persuade him to move except that the tiny child said please and Thor is standing behind her looking at Loki so hopefully.
Which is how Loki ends up spending the rest of his afternoon using the abilities he has honed and cultivated over centuries of dedicated study and practice to hang decorations in one of the largest rooms in the compound. It's just as well for Midgard that he's put his villainous days behind him because he sees things that afternoon that really change his perception of the Avengers; no villain would ever be able to take Iron Man seriously again if they'd seen the man use his revolutionary nanotech suit to get to just the right places to hang streamers under the careful orders of a six year old child.
The rest of the team has clearly been brought in on this and they come and go bringing food, setting up music and setting the kids to work painting a huge banner that is supposed to read 'Happy Thursday', except that at least one of the children still writes letters backwards and the smallest Barton left colourful paint hands everywhere.
Loki is so busy trying to keep to the edges of the room and taking occasional pot shots at the Avengers (with illusions of confetti cannons, mostly, because Thor is right there) that he doesn't really notice the subtle shift of the moment between preparing for a party and the party actually being underway. It's more that Thor brings him a drink (and it's non-alcoholic and how is he even meant to survive this if they're basically just throwing a kid-friendly party, Loki is not okay with it) and then gets hauled off to an arm wrestling tournament that Rhodes is definitely not going to win but Barnes kind of stands a chance in, and then Loki looks round and realises there are about forty other people there now and someone's brought a cake and this is definitely now a party.
Which makes this his moment to leave, past where Romanov is playing with the Barton baby, around Strange who gives him a tired but knowing glare and edging around Carol Danvers, who has somehow persuaded Fury to dance and acquired a large audience in the process. He nearly makes it to the door before getting waylaid by Parker and Shuri, though it's not all bad because he ends up in a conversation with the teenagers that's more intelligent than any of the academic books he was reading earlier, and Loki actually starts to forget how much he despises everyone here until Stark sets off a few hologram fireworks and Morgan announces it's time to cut the cake. The teenagers scramble off towards the food, and Loki decides to take advantage of the distraction, only this time it's Thor who grabs him before he can leave.
"Brother!" he cries out, and thrusts a plate into Loki's face. "It was frosted to look like me! Look, you can have my eyepatch."
This is one of the strangest days of Loki's life, and he is starting to want to go to bed.
He ends up, however, sat on the floor with Thor and Morgan, who dances over with her third slice of cake before Loki has done more than prod at his with a fork, and beams at them both.
"I did some reading," she announces.
The words are few and innocent but Loki knows enough to hear the chimes of doom in them. This child is really far more astute than he wants to continue to deal with, though she is also perilously unaware of when gods with power beyond mortal reckoning are getting close to the point of smiting her. This is presumably another trait inherited from her father.
"Is that so?" Thor says cheerfully. If it wasn't for the fact that he's clapped Loki's shoulder in delight and left his hand there, Loki would already be out of the door. Thor, however, is beaming at the child, no doubt hoping for another equally wondrous piece of information.
"Yep," Morgan says, grinning toothily up at him. "It's not just you that has a special day! Your father's Odin, right?"
The sound of doom - and a little frisson of pain, and Loki sometimes wishes he didn't care that Odin is dead, because he hated him for so long. And certainly it's not the same hurt as the gnawing, bottomless chasm in him where Frigga's warmth should be, but he does mourn his father.
And even if it is another unspoken truth within him, he mourns the part of Thor's joy and youth that turned to golden dust along with Odin.
"Yes," Thor says, and his voice cracks a little. "Yes, he is."
"Well, did you know about Wednesday?" Morgan is alight with the thrill of knowledge, barrelling past their grief with the innocence of one who has never known it, and her happiness distracts Thor from his memories. "See, the first bit comes from Woden, which is another way people used to say Odin. So Wednesday is really Odin's Day, just like Thursday is Thor's Day! And did you know that Friday-"
No. It is too much, altogether more than Loki can bear. He knows what's coming, what is about to leave this child's mouth and he cannot, he will not listen to her speak that name so unknowingly, he will not stand here while Thor learns this, while he hears how perfectly they are immortalised forever.
He shifts form so suddenly that Thor is too startled to make a grab for him. A bird is easiest for a deft escape, and he's well practised enough with wings. He hears the child gasp and Thor call after him, but the rest of the party is a blur to him as he flies.
He's halfway across the building before he even realises that, of all the wealth of bird species he could have chosen, he's in the form of a raven. Loki shifts back into Aesir form between one beat and the next, transitioning so smoothly that a wing beat becomes a footstep. But his maelstrom of feeling has become anger, because it is Thor's fault, and that accursed child's, that he was thinking of his father at all. Damn them all - the Midgardians for their ancient beliefs, Morgan for giving it all away, Stark for throwing this ridiculous celebration, and above all Thor, for everything.
It isn't about the names. But that's the problem, really. It's never been about just one thing; it's about the little things, a thousand little things, and the picture they create when they all come together. A picture that's been the backdrop of his entire life, and the problem is that he isn't even in it.
His sleep is restless that night. He drops off for unknown stretches of time and then wakes, still staring into the darkness. He's awake when Thor staggers back to his room, long after it's no longer Thursday any more, clearly drunk off his head (things must have moved on after the children were put to bed, and it lends credence to the suggestion that the Americans have started brewing Asgardian mead, which is interesting) and singing ancient songs of war extremely loudly and completely butchering them. He knocks for Loki a few times, tells him very loudly about some new kind of dance he's learned, but Loki ignores him. It's the benevolent option, given what he's likely to do if he opens the door.
He vaguely intends to avoid everyone the next day and possibly return home early, but even though he should in any reasonable measure be in bed with a hangover for hours to come Thor is already sitting at a table covered in breakfast foods when Loki emerges from his room. He could simply leave, but his departure last night is easily explained in his dislike of the Avengers; now it is only Thor and leaving will let on that there's something wrong.
"Good morning, brother," Thor says cheerfully, pushing out a chair opposite him. "I cooked enough for many, but my comrades in arms seem to have taken the night's revelry harder than I."
"You cooked this?" Loki sinks into the seat with concern, examining the table. "I'm suddenly not hungry."
"Hilarious," Thor says drily, heaping another portion of eggs on top of his already piled plate. "I learned a few things when I found out Jane pretty much only ate cereal. Plus this way I get bacon whenever I want."
"When Jane - that was years ago," Loki says, momentarily distracted from his bad mood and indignant instead. "The first night we were in New Asgard you burned our dinner!"
"That was an accident," Thor insists, though the effect is undermined by the light in his eye. "But you insisted on bringing me food a number of times after that, and who was I to argue?" He doesn't look repentant at all, and Loki wonders if it's too late to change his plans regarding not assassinating world leaders.
"Anyway," Thor says, "that was a good day, wasn't it? I truly enjoy it here. I honestly had no idea about the days of the week, did you?"
And Loki's distraction burns away into that little ache again, and he doesn't answer, though it's clear Thor doesn't really expect him to. He evidently doesn't pick up on the tension, because he stuffs half a slice of toast and an entire fried egg into his mouth in one bite, somehow manages to smile while he chews, and barely swallows before he keeps talking.
"And it's not just Father, either! You shouldn't have rushed off so fast, all grumpiness and feathers - Morgan told me something else." Thor's voice softens, whether with his own reminiscence or to be gentle in how he tells Loki. "She said that Friday is named for Mother. Frigga's Day." The melancholy seems to leave him quickly, or perhaps he only hides it fast, for he takes a long draught of coffee before he smiles at Loki again. "Isn't that marvellous? I knew the Midgardians worshipped us long ago, but to find they honoured us in that way, that they speak our parents' names so often-"
And it bursts its way out of Loki at last, full of pain and vitriol.
"Yes, it's wonderful, Thor, congratulations! You, Odin and Frigga all have a day named after you. The whole family, recognised forever."
He regrets it as soon as he's said it. Thor's exuberant delight has been driving him insane since yesterday, like being accompanied by an excitable child - but the way that made Loki feel was nothing to this, to the way Thor's face falls now. He looks devastated, crestfallen, like Loki has pulled the ground out from under him.
Because he didn't mean it that way. Of course he didn't. Thor never means it that way because he grew up so assured that he was loved, so confident that he belonged right where he was, and even after all they have gone through it does not always occur to him that the things that so naturally include him may also automatically exclude Loki.
And this time the realisation is as if Loki has dealt him one mighty blow that's knocked him down - except that if it was a fight, Thor would always fight back. Right now he looks like there's no fight in him at all, like he is somehow both far too old and far too young, because he looks full of ancient tiredness and a child's hurt both at once.
And Thor doesn't even speak right away. The silence stretches terribly and it isn't right, not from his brother, the one who is always so sure of himself that Loki can guess how he will act before he does.
Loki hadn't intended this, hadn't meant to say it like that. He lashes out when he's angry, it's what he does. He is the victim here and he refuses to feel guilty for how he feels - yet it is not Thor who is at fault. It's Odin, if it's anyone, and Loki didn't know this still bothered him so much but it's still there and it's never really gone away, never quite been dealt with. Thor has told him over and over that they are brothers, and Frigga promised he was her son. Odin is the sticking point, of course, but even he claimed Loki as his son again before he died. But none of it erases this discomfort, this long-standing bitterness, and now he's spoken it aloud in a fit of unintended rage. Now that it's out there for Thor to see, it feels like such an ugly thing and Loki wishes he could pull it back, crush it down inside himself, but it is too late for that.
"Loki," Thor says, and his voice sounds hesitant, pained, aching. "You are as much a part of that family as I am. Do you truly not know that?"
"I know, Thor," Loki says, and suddenly he feels very weary too. "I know it. But it is harder to believe in my heart. I didn't say that to hurt you."
Thor pauses again. He is more inclined to think before he speaks these days, Loki has noticed; he is growing into his kingship, and likes to evaluate what he is told before he makes decisions rather than rush into judgements. As one of his advisers, Loki has a lot of respect for this and has seen it as a positive change, but it is less comforting now because his brother should not have to weigh up the wisest, safest thing to say to him. What is between them is still fragile at times and he doesn't want to give Thor more cause to second guess it.
And yet it does allow time for wisdom.
"I cannot control how others see us," Thor says finally. "And I know simply saying it will not make up for the damage done by years when you did not have cause to believe it. But for all my life to come, I swear I will do everything I can to show it. You have always belonged with us, Loki. I hope one day you can believe that's true."
How was it that his brother had been an ignorant oaf for centuries and yet now after a few short years of change is capable of cutting through Loki's many disguises to the innermost truth of him? Because it is about belonging, it is about the fact that he was rejected by his own race, that he always felt out of place in Asgard and never knew why, that he never felt he had a role of his own among the family he grew up in. The business of the weekdays is just a symptom of that, proof that even Midgardians with their scant mortal years of life and limited comprehension of the universe knew that Loki did not belong with the others, should not be honoured equal to them.
"It may never change, Thor." He is trying to be careful of what he says now too; all the anger has drained from him, leaving something a little hollow behind. "Simply thinking something does not translate to belief."
"I understand," Thor says, and of this older, wiser Thor Loki can perhaps believe that's true. Thor has been betrayed by their father too, after all, has come to realise his home was not what he believed. "All the same, I will try. That's what brothers do."
"Pain in the arse brothers, maybe," Loki mutters, and perhaps it is not so surprising that this makes Thor beam at him.
"You are picking up Earth colloquialisms, brother!"
"No," Loki protests, and makes a face. "Oh, that's disgusting."
They haven't fixed anything. Nothing is really any different than it was before and yet when Thor laughs, deep and loud enough to fill the room, Loki feels lighter all the same.
The rest of the day is spent, Loki strongly suspects, in Thor trying to make him feel at home here. It's slightly ridiculous because they're thousands of miles away from Asgard, which still isn't quite where they should be, and several of the people in this compound would probably be more comfortable if Loki was dead or at least locked up somewhere, but it's a nice thought all the same. They blow off the day's meetings (which will probably get cancelled anyway since everyone else still seems to be unconscious) and take a quick Stormbreaker-assisted trip to some mountains for a hike. The landscape is all green hills and deep water and reminds Loki a little of the old Asgard, and therefore doesn't totally disappoint.
Returning to the compound, they settle in for a movie - Thor has promised Loki that he can choose the film, but before he gets to wield this power they are joined yet again by Morgan Stark. The child climbs up onto the sofa between two gods with a remarkable absence of fear and tells FRIDAY to play her favourite animated movie. It is about two sisters, one of whom is maligned by her family but can create ice with her hands, and the other of whom is totally powerless. Loki doesn't hate it, and decides he can forgive the child.
Morgan also shows them that she's built a tiny metal dog from the box of parts her father gave her earlier. It is controlled by a limited artificial intelligence and urinates motor oil on Thor's lap when he tries to stroke it. Morgan giggles and gifts the dog to Loki, who upgrades his assessment: he will do whatever he must to protect this child's life.
Stark and Pepper join them halfway through the film, and Thor microwaves enough popcorn to feed a small army. It's... surprisingly pleasant, all things considered.
As days go, it isn't the worst. After dinner and a few rounds of attempting to teach Loki's favourite card game to Morgan and Peter, he and Thor retire for the night, Loki being tailed back to his room by his new tiny mechanical friend.
"I do appreciate the effort, brother," he says, and he means it. It might not be quite what Thor wants, but he does feel a warmth from today that he hasn't known since he was much younger. "Really."
Thor manages to avoid looking smug, but he does place his hand on Loki's neck in a move that is as familiar as it is comforting, after all these years. Loki is expecting another speech about belonging and family, so familiar he could probably recite it himself.
Which is why he feels extremely suspicious when Thor gives him a wide smile, all teeth and sparkling eye, and simply says, "Goodnight, brother."
Loki knows that smile. Loki has worn that smile a lot himself. On Thor, it cannot mean anything good.
And yet he sleeps longer and deeper that night than he has since they left New Asgard anyway, and wakes reassured that at least he will face whatever Thor is planning with a refreshed mind.
When he leaves his room that morning, there is no sign of Thor. It's a little earlier than most of the mortals tend to wake, but Thor is generally up before Loki thanks to long ingrained habits of early morning training, and if Loki wakes first Thor normally seems to be woken by the sound of his door opening. So it's odd not to see his brother at the breakfast table, and it's troubling too - either because he's found himself in a quick bout of mortal combat or because Loki is going to have to clean up a diplomatic incident. But it might be far more innocuous, his brother perhaps sleeping in or gone to test out the new gyms properly, so Loki sets about finding himself some food.
Stranger even than his brother's absence, though, is that fact that Captain America - or rather Steve Rogers, as he insists upon now that he's ditched the oh-so-subtle colour scheme - joins Loki at the breakfast table.
This is Weird, because Rogers is in the majority who have avoided spending time with Loki, and generally steer clear of any space he's occupying outside of meetings. Weirder still, Rogers doesn't get anything to eat. He just sits opposite Loki (in Thor's usual seat) with the unmistakeable air of someone who wants to be asked why he's there. He's one pointed cough away from a cliché.
Loki, of course, doesn't oblige him. He might be reformed - at the present time - from the more creative expressions of his power, but he is still the god of mischief, after all.
(Thor has taken issue with the term 'creative expression' as a summary of Loki's previous efforts to overthrow the ruling powers of Midgard, and has decreed as King that Loki isn't allowed to do it again. He calls the phrase 'a trench of bilgesnipe shite', and insists that it would be rude to attempt to violently seize control of a planet that has granted them sanctuary. Last time they had this argument, Loki pointed out that he wouldn't 'attempt', he would succeed, and then turned Thor into a mouse for a few hours which did a great job of shutting him up. It backfired later because, after he turned Thor back, his brother made him go out and buy several expensive cheese wheels.)
The point is, Loki amuses himself where he can these days. If Rogers wants to ruin his quiet morning of tea and toast, Loki is certainly not going to help him do it.
He's finished the half dozen slices and pushed the plate away to focus on his still-steaming cup of tea (it will be hot and full for as long as he wants it to, of course) when Rogers finally decides to speak up.
"Loki."
"That is me," Loki says dryly, and takes a sip.
Rogers shifts on the stool. He's getting so awkward that Loki, despite himself, is starting to be curious.
"Is there a reason for this scintillating conversation?" he prods.
Rogers clears his throat. "Well, yes, actually. Um."
It can't be an emergency. There would be a lot more mortals running around in primary colours if it was.
He is, though, at the least mildly curious about why his brother isn't either at breakfast or snoring loud enough to cause several minor earthquakes. He's not worried, of course, but it is interesting that Thor isn't where he should be and now the erstwhile Captain looks distinctly constipated.
"While I'm only fifteen hundred, please."
"See, normally I forget how old you and Thor are," Rogers says. Apparently Loki has found the right words to loosen the man's tongue. "But as it turns out, an awful lot of people are aware of it right now. I got woken up by some very anxious SHIELD agents because Thor is making a really big thing of it at the moment."
Very, very reluctantly, Loki has to admit he's intrigued. Enough, at least, to carefully set down his tea. "I'm going to need more information."
Rogers takes a deep breath, very visibly steeling himself.
"Loki, would you please explain to me why your brother is currently trying to persuade several world authorities to rename Saturday to 'Lokisday'?"
It is seven thirty in the morning on what mortals long ago named Frigga's Day. There are no windows in this room to let in the daylight, and yet Loki fancies he can almost feel the sun shining on him anyway.
Thor is ridiculous.
His brother is ridiculous.
Of course it isn't going to work. Thor no doubt knows that too. But that isn't the point. The point is that Thor is trying anyway, and Loki is going to get wished a 'Happy Lokisday' every sixth day of the week from tomorrow until the end of time.
The point is that they are here, that they survived everything, and that Steve Rogers clearly has no idea why Loki is laughing so hard that his tea is spilling endlessly over the table.
He once thought Asgard-the-realm was his home, and then he thought he would never belong anywhere in the universe. Now he really has found a home on this ridiculous little planet that long ago demonstrated such a great lack of wisdom that it worshipped his fool of a brother. Because wherever that foolish brother is, Loki belongs.
It is not all that he always wanted. But here and now, he thinks, with a surprising sense of peace, it is enough.