"Grady, whoa! Halt! Stay!"
Gomer scrambled after the dog, but it scampered around the corner of the duty hut and disappeared. A desperate Gomer began combing over the compound, whistling and calling the dog's name just loud enough that he wouldn't attract attention. He became so focused on finding the dog, he failed to notice the open door to the duty hut with several paw prints leading inside. Meanwhile, Sergeant Carter, having to run an errand in town, decided to take a quick shower before he left. Who knew? He may just run into a dame worth chasing. If he did, it wouldn't do him any good to smell like a sweating pig. He unbuttoned and draped his shirt over the desk chair before grabbing his towel and heading for the shower. Soon after he left the room, Gomer's ugly mutt trotted through the door. The dog sniffed around on the floor for a minute, circling the room before coming to a stop at the discarded uniform. Gleefully taking in the salty smell of human sweat, the dog grabbed a mouthful of the uniform and yanked it to the floor. Shaking the fabric like a rat, the dog placed one paw on its prey and pulled, tearing the uniform nearly in half.
Seconds later, Carter returned from the back room. He set his gaze on the mutt with fabric shreds hanging from its mouth and he froze in his tracks. The dog shook itself off and spat out the remainder of the uniform. Carter trembled from head to foot in rage. He opened his mouth to yell, but choked on his fury. The dog whimpered and rolled on its back. His hands still shaking, Carter yanked open the desk drawer and snatched up his pocket-knife. At that moment, Gomer rushed in the duty hut yammering away.
"Sergeant Carter? Sergeant Carter, I lost 'im. I lost Grady. I had 'im when you was standin' there tellin' me to get rid of 'im. Then I looked down and he'd chewed himself loose. I've looked everywhere, Sergeant, I just can't figure out…"
Gomer paused when he saw the dog pawing at his boots.
"Praise be," he gasped, "Grady was here this whole time. Why that sure is a relief, ain't it, Sergeant?"
Only then did Gomer notice the murderous look in his sergeant's eye and the knife clenched in his trembling fist. Gomer's eye dropped to the shredded, slobber-covered uniform by his foot.
"I'm sorry, Sergeant. I guess Grady did that, didn't he? Grady, why'd you do a thang like that? You know you ain't supposed to chew up people's thangs, 'specially if they belong to the sergeant."
Carter clutched his weapon tighter.
"Pyle you hear me good," he growled, "I'm going to count to ten. And if you're still here when I finish, I'm going to turn you and that mongrel into mincemeat."
"But Sergeant, I…" "OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT!"
Carter lunged at both of them, flashing his pocketknife. Gomer wrapped the remainder of the rope around the dog's neck and sprang towards the door. The dog hurried behind with its tail between its legs. Carter slammed the door behind them hard enough to crack the hinges. Gomer sighed. He didn't blame the sergeant for being mad, after all, that had been one of his best shirts.
"Grady, we've gotta get you out 'o here before you get me in any more trouble."
In the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a lieutenant on the other side of the compound.
"Come on, Grady," he said, giving the dog a tug on the rope, "we've gotta hurry."
The dog had also caught sight of the lieutenant. However, instead of following Gomer, the dog stayed rooted to the ground and lifted its lips in a snarl.
"Come on, Grady," Gomer pleaded, "before the lieutenant sees you."
To Gomer's surprise, the dog yanked away from Gomer and bolted across the compound, snapping and barking.
"Grady, wait!" Gomer yelled.
The dog charged straight for the lieutenant, flashing its fangs. Gomer pounded on the closed door.
"Sergeant! Sergeant! Come quick!"
Carter swung the door open with an unbuttoned uniform and a shade of crimson over his face.
"Pyle, I thought I told you to…"
Gomer swung his arms and pointed across the compound.
"Look, Sergeant! Look!"
At the same moment, the dog latched onto the lieutenant's pant leg. The officer let out a yell and kicked at the insane mutt. Carter and Gomer double-timed across the compound. Gomer the rope around the dog's neck and struggled to pull the dog off. Carter grabbed the lieutenant around the middle and tried to pull him away from the dog's grip.
"Get him off me! Get this mangey mongrel off me!" hollered the lieutenant.
"Come on, Grady, please let go," Gomer pleaded.
Finally, they managed to drag the dog off the lieutenant's pant legs. Hardly had the lieutenant been set free when he shouted,
"What is the meaning of this? Sergeant, what is this mongrel doing on a military base? Do you have any idea how dangerous this mutt is, or will it take a cooler climate to jog your memory? The Illusions, maybe?"
"I'm sorry, sir," Carter stammered, "Private Pyle here brought this dog on the base and…"
"Private Pyle? So, you're blaming the private for what is obviously a lack of discipline?"
"No, sir!"
"Then I advise you to remove this mutt from the premises before I remove those stripes from your sleeve!"
The lieutenant stormed off across the compound, leaving Carter sweating where he stood. The dog sat by Gomer's side, growling and snarling in the lieutenant's direction. Gomer opened his mouth to speak, but Carter pressed so close to his face, he had to step back to avoid a collision.
"Don't say it, Pyle! I already know what you're going to say. You're sorry! You're very sorry! Well sorry don't keep the stripes on a uniform! You've blown it, Pyle! I'm going into town, and until I get back, you're confined to quarters! Maybe that can somehow keep you out of trouble!"
"But Sergeant, what about Grady?"
Carter snatched the rope from Gomer's hand.
"Pyle, I've had it with this ugly mutt! I'm going into town and I'm taking this dog to the pound."
"The pound! But you can't take this sweet ol' dog to the pound, Sergeant."
"Watch me!"
Carter marched towards the back gate, dragging the dog behind him. Gomer stayed just behind his shoulder.
"If we could just have some time, Sergeant, I'm sure we can find the feller a nice home."
"Get back in your quarters, Pyle, and STAY THERE!"
Gomer scurried into the barracks, watching out the window as Carter pulled the reluctant dog towards his car, shoved it in the backseat, and sped away.