Chapter 51: Snape Family Sarcasm

Snape Family Sarcasm

After Severus had ended practicals with Sage a few weeks later, he sat at the table in his kitchen marking grades in his ledger. Sage was quietly looking at a rather old Astronomy book that Severus had in his library while sitting on the couch, making notes here and there as he found information that would be useful on his OWLs.

Severus put down his quill and lifted his teacup to his lips, watching his nephew silently and stealthfully. Things had changed. Sage had changed. He felt as if he, himself, had changed as well. He felt less stressed, more at ease. No longer did he feel the need to constantly worry about Sage's progress or agonize over the boy's mistakes. It was a tremendous load off his shoulders.

He looked back down to his gradebook, strangely the grades in his younger classes were improving. He snorted slightly. It is probably because there is no way for them to fool around in class with both of us walking around watching them. Sage was useful in more than one way. And it was teaching Sage to be more authoritative, serious, and responsible.

Suddenly, Sage slammed the book shut, stood up, and walked into the kitchen with a loud growl.

Arching a brow at him, Severus asked, "What's wrong?"

"I hate Astronomy. I'll be glad to be rid of it after this year." Sage answered, throwing his hands up.

Severus smiled, tight lipped, "That is the one subject that I will not be upset if you call it useless."

"It is useless, incredibly useless. I have sight, I don't need stars! Astronomy is more useless than Muggle Studies… Do we have any jam?" he asked coming out of his brief tirade.

"Yes, we do. To the left, blackberry I believe." We?

"Excellent," he said, pulling it out. "Would you like some toast, sir?"

The man raised an eyebrow again, "No, not really, thank you. However feel free to completely raid my kitchen. Merlin knows that you could stand to gain some weight. You are growing faster vertically than you are horizontally." He had better not grow taller than me…

"Ha, ha," he said rolling his eyes, "I eat quite frequently, thank you."

"Is that why I have found my food supply dwindling," he muttered to himself.

"Not that you have room to criticize, sir, you aren't much larger than I am."

"At least my trousers do not look as if they would come right down if someone pulled on the pockets."

Sage stopped raising his toast to his mouth and retorted, "I like them like that. It has nothing to do with my weight. It has to do with comfort."

"Yes, and it makes me look as if I am not clothing you properly."

"Well, whosoever thinks that, sir, you can tell them that I am capable of dressing myself and purchasing my own clothes. You are blameless."

"You would do well to dress a bit more properly. Slightly more adult."

Sage snorted, "Say one word, sir, one, about forcing me to wear a frock coat, and I am leaving straight away."

"You mean to say it would be that easy to get rid of you?"

Sage chewed his toast, "You are in a pleasantly sarcastic mood tonight."

"However, I am quite serious." He said, looking back down at the papers briefly.

Sage raised an eyebrow. "About getting rid of me?" He asked before taking another bite of the jam slathered toast.

"No, about having you dress more conservatively."

He swallowed, "You know I clean up quite nicely when the situation merits it, sir. It isn't as if my robes don't cover my clothes the majority of the time anyway."

"You could at the very least wear a shirt with a collar."

"Why, so that I can suffocate on the weekends as well as the weekdays? You'd have me wearing a tie everyday next."

"It wouldn't kill you, you realize."

"I like my clothes, sir." He said, eyeing the toast.

"Perhaps in a size or two smaller?"

"Uncle, you would completely understand if you wore boxer shorts. I need room." He threw his free hand up in exasperation.

"I do," he replied, straight-faced.

Sage opened his mouth in horror, "How the bloody hell do you fit them in those pants!"

"I assure you, without difficulty. And stop swearing, you will then look and sound like muggle street trash."

"Sorry." He took another large bite. "Sometimes I forget how you feel about that."

"Mmm hmm. A certain disregard for rules which don't suite you. You know, I do believe this familiarity has its drawbacks."

"What do you mean, sir?"

Severus snorted, "Because you are willing to damn well say almost anything to me. That's what I mean."

"What, sir, I cannot respectfully disagree with you?"

"It was much easier and quieter when you did not. I forgot how many headaches I used to get from talking, rather, arguing with you. Especially over trivial matters."

"I do not disagree with you over the important stuff, sir, I wouldn't. Clothes is another matter."

"Stuff! What kind of a word is stuff? You know how I feel about colloquialisms."

"Issues then."

"Better."

"Anyway, I would think you would rather have headaches from talking to me than headaches from me doing things that I shouldn't…"

"I should not have headaches from either!" He paused. "I am mostly patronizing you about saying what you mean to me, so long as you remember when it is appropriate to do so and when it is not, I really do not mind."

"I don't really have anyone else to talk to, Uncle. Sometimes I rather used feel that I would be better off at home." He stopped for a minute and pursed his lips before finishing. "I was much more used to you at home. You are different here…I'm sure that I am too or was at least. Things are easier when we are getting on."

Sage sat down at the table with his Uncle, carrying a plate of toast and the jam with the knife stuck straight in the jar.

"I had and still have my reasons for acting that way, and you know that I must do so continually when in public. It is unavoidable. As for you, well, I feel as if my nephew is beginning to act like my nephew again, albeit in a slightly different way."

"Different still, sir?" He said, feeling slightly dejected "As in you are displeased?"

"I can see that the fact that I have had to be harsh with you has not worn from your memory, considering that you are paranoid about my opinion of you. I merely meant that you are not the same boy you were before you came here. After some rather abyssmal and disrespectful behavior, which I have not forgotten by the way, you are growing up…Finally."

Sage raised an eyebrow, "Peachy, sir, I've never heard you sound so sappy." He said with fake joviality, knowing how much his statement would irk his Uncle.

Scowling, Severus whapped him the back of the head gently, and Sage got a large smear of jam down his chin from his head ramming into the toast he was holding to his mouth.

"Idiot boy," he muttered, trying not to smirk at the jam on Sage's face.

"Thanks, sir." He said, wiping his face.

"I do not believe that I would not miss your sarcasm one iota." Severus stated, shaking his head.

"I wouldn't be a Snape without it," he replied caustically.

"You can stop now," he said, putting a hand to his head, clearly having had enough.

Sage knew when to stop before his Uncle would become angry and irrate and send him packing back up to Gryffindor Tower. He quickly changed the subject.

"How are those?" he asked, pointing to the essays.

The Professor sighed, "Abyssmal, as usual, but perhaps getting better by a slim margin."

"What are they on?"

He scowled, "They ought to be on properties of ingredients commonly used in potions considered to be Dark, however, few meet that mark."

Arching an eyebrow curiously, he asked, "May I see."

"If you wish," the man answered, pushing the stack across the table.

Sage picked up the one on the top and began reading it, lifting another piece of toast to his mouth.

"Would you kindly not get crumbs all over. It's enough to have you here constantly, not even mentioning making a mess." The man stated irritably, his muscles visibly tensing.

"Sorry, sir," he said quietly. "I'll leave."

He put down the essay looking dejected and moved to stand up.

"Merlin!" Severus exclaimed in annoyance, more to himself than to Sage, "You may stay if you want. Just don't be a bother, all right?

"I'll try not to, Uncle. I didn't mean to annoy you."

He sighed, "I know you did not mean to, but you must remember that it has been a long time since we have talked or even been together so much. I am simply not used to the intrusions of anyone, even you."

"I understand." Sage said, still looking slightly put out.

Both his eyebrows raised he stated, "And if I may say, it has also been a long time since you have behaved this way. I am simply not used to you either."

Sage shrugged and Severus could tell that there was something that he wanted to say. It was a few moments before Sage blurted, "I'm not used to you being like this as well, sir."

"Meaning that I am calmer?"

"Well, really that you do not yell all the time and you do not seem to be looking for something to criticize me with."

"At the least, you are honest."

A/N

Thanks to VD, Lady J, Kay, and Xiomara for being the only peoples to review the last TWO chapter. ;-) Or at least one out of two.

Xiomara – I haven't had chemistry in seven years! Hee hee, although I am glad that I was believeable. My knowledge about snake venom, er I cannot believe I am admitting this, comes from Steve Irwin on the Crocodile Hunter TV show…

I'm glad that you liked Sev and that it was believeable, was this one too? I'm glad everything is convincing. BTW, I like Ron. I wish he played a bigger part in my fic…

VD – I am glad that you liked so many of the quotes, that's great. I love your reviews bc they are specific about what you liked and thnat helps so much. I love Ron too. And the looking at the girl does not work, poor Sage will just have to figure it out and use his one Gryffindor trait – courage – to try and get her. I am glad that you like it when they banter, so I am guessing you will have liked this banter too. I think the two of them would. A LOT. About Sage being more normal, that is the goal so I am glad that it is coming through.

Lady J – You are welcome for the dedication, as you can see from my rant below, I really appreciate the people who review. Even if it is a sentence or two. I stuck the comment in there about muggles, I thought it was good but subtle, not like Malfoy but not like Dumbly. Kinda, I dunno. I thought it would be something he would say. He isn't outright prejudice but he still harbors a pureblood tradition. Glad that you like Sev and Sage talking and being more like home. I needed to hear that people liked it bc it was a change. And 5th year is in the works.

Kazy Daisy – Thanks for the support and the kind words. Strange how you find people who are like you online. Freaky, really. I hope that you liked these chapters.

I update much faster when I getr reviews, so if you want more let me know in a review. These are key chappies and I really needed some feedback. Please help me out! ;-) Don't mean to be a pain, but I'd appreciate it a lot.

Also a little hint. I usually have one chapter on deck when I update, and I can post about every other day for another week and a half, so if you drop me a note, I'll update faster than lightening for you as a reward. ;-) THANKS