DISCLAIMER: The ideas are mine. The characters and everything that is in the Harry Potter Universe belong to J.K.
For the days that followed, Bellatrix was very quiet. Most of the students in her year were enjoying the end of the exams. They would lay in the sun or gather by the lake, dipping their feet in the water. Bella didn't feel like joining them. Most of the time she felt like she wanted to cry.
Bella had repeated the test with the purple potion three times since that night in the prefect's bathroom. She got the same results every time.
She did not want to believe it at first. The girl lay down on the floor of the prefect's bathroom and sank her fingers into her belly, below the navel, until it hurt. She was trying to feel something, anything, but there was nothing there. At least, nothing that she could feel just yet.
In a few days, she would have to go home for her summer break. Home. To her parents.
She could not tell her parents about the preg— The situation. Merlin's beard, she couldn't even bring herself to use the word! She was terrified about what would happen if they knew. Her father might expel her from his home. He might cast her away from the family forever. She had grown up listening to stories about the burned spots in the family tapestry. Was there not one of those spots that belonged to a woman who had become pregnant out of wedlock? She couldn't remember. When they talked about the burned faces on the tapestry, they never mentioned their names. Those names did not matter anymore. Those people didn't matter. Bella was not ready for that to happen to her.
She could not tell them about any of what had happened that night at Lestrange Manor. Bella didn't think she could bear living through all of it again, repeating every detail out loud. And she did not know how her parents would react. What if her mother told her it was all her fault? Was it her fault? She should have defended herself, should she not? What if her mother told her that she was exaggerating, that Lestrange was to be her husband anyway, that they simply had to move up the wedding?
The thought of being married to that… that boy… that man… It made her sick.
Knowing her parents, however, she was painfully aware that anticipating her marriage was a very real possibility. That was what Lestrange's father had said, wasn't it? That they couldn't go back on their promise now? She was stuck with him.
Bella had been promised to the oldest of the Lestrange boys for years. There was a lot invested in that union. She had lost her virtue and her honour. The easiest way to deal with the damage was to marry her off.
What if they didn't let her finish Hogwarts?
No, her parents must not learn about any of this.
But what would she do? She would be home for two months. She was sure of her condition now. Her body would change. Perhaps she would be lucky. Perhaps she would not start to show for several months. But what if she was wrong? What if her condition became apparent before then? How would she hide it from them? And later, when she came back to school? She remembered how her aunt was when she was expecting Regulus. Towards the end, she would definitely be… bigger. How would she hide it then?
One problem at a time, Bella, she thought, taking a deep breath and trying to focus again.
She had been doing research. She was worried at first that the librarian might see something suspicious in her choice of books, but from the uninterested look on the old witch's face, she had merely dismissed Bella's interest in that topic as an adolescent curiosity. In any case, there were not many books on that topic at the Hogwarts library. Whatever she could get her hands on, she read voraciously. The books, however, raised more questions than they answered.
There was nobody she could talk to. Everything around that topic was embarrassing… A taboo… Which was why she suspected her mother had never brought up the subject before. If she had any friends, she supposed she could have talked to them, but there wasn't anyone. Bella had never been good at getting close to people. The girls in her class respected her, and that had always been enough. They had never talked about anything personal. She supposed some of the boys on the Quidditch team counted her as a friend, but she certainly could not discuss the matters that were weighing on her with any of them.
That young girl's heart was full of loneliness.
She wished she had an older sister. She was embarrassed to admit that what she actually wanted was an older woman she could trust. Someone she could talk to; someone more experienced, who could answer her questions. Someone who could hold her hand and tell her that everything was going to be okay. Other girls would probably go to their mothers, she realized sadly, but her mother would never be that woman to her.
She wanted her aunt, but she was terrified of what would happen if she told aunt Walburga everything. Her aunt had been like a second mother to her for as long as she could remember, but she took a lot of pride in their family line. She was terrified of letting her down. Besides, even if Bella did tell her everything, what could she do? Mr Lestrange was a powerful man... A scandal wouldn't do the family any good… No. No good could come from bringing her aunt into this.
Besides, Bella didn't think she would be able to stand the disappointment in her aunt's face.
There was nobody else. Bella was all alone. There were so many decisions ahead of her, so many unknowns, so many things she was not at all prepared for… It was all too overwhelming…
The day before getting on the Hogwarts Express, Bellatrix decided to talk to Andromeda.
It was not an easy decision. Her sisters were Bella's best friends for as long as she could remember, but for the past several months, Andromeda and she had not been getting along. They hadn't had a proper conversation in weeks.
Andy was the sister that looked like Bella the most, but as similar as they were in looks, they had radically opposite personalities. Bellatrix was a prefect, and one of the best students in her year. Only three months earlier, she had won a ribbon for the best disillusionment charm at a Charms competition. Andromeda, on the other hand, didn't seem to care about such honours. She was intelligent, Bellatrix knew that, but her marks were mostly average, and she seemed to prefer distracting herself with books that had nothing to do with their coursework than to put in the work necessary to challenge that annoying Ravenclaw boy for the recognition of best student in her year.
Her sister was always surrounded by friends, whenever Bella spotted her at school. Strange friends. That skinny blond boy who had gotten lost in the forbidden forest one time. The insufferable Dunbar girl who was as arrogant as most Gryffindors are. A green-eyed muggle-born boy that played as a catcher for the Hufflepuff Quidditch team… Andy used to hang out with a lot of muggle-borns, actually. That was the greatest point of contempt between the two sisters. Andromeda knew her choice of friends was offensive to their family… In fact, she seemed to enjoy that.
Bellatrix had surprised Andromeda with one of her mudblood friends at the Quad just before Easter. They were sitting next to each other on a stone bench, and Bella overheard their conversation.
"You could spend the summer with me. Are you sure you won't come?" he asked.
"I can't. I want to come with you, but-"
"You should come, then. Mum has asked me a hundred times to invite you over. And I am sure my dad will love you." There was a short pause before he continued, "Besides, I would love to show you me hyem."
"What?" Andy asked with a curious smile.
"Me hyem," he insisted, "my home. See, we've got to get you there, so you can learn the way we speak in the North. I want to show you the farm. I want to go riding with you all afternoon, and then we can lay in the grass and have some apples from the orchard. I can take you to see the ocean. It's not too far away. And we can watch the stars from the back porch at night, until we go to sleep."
"That sounds wonderful, Edward," she said, bumping her shoulder against his slightly, "but my parents would never let me stay at a boy's house all by myself."
"You mean they would not let you stay at my house," he pointed out, "because my parents are not wizards."
Andromeda's smile melted away.
"You know I don't care about that," she said slowly, lowering her eyes.
"But they do, love," he said, lifting her chin.
"You don't understand Edward, they are my family!"
"But you're nothing like them, Dromeda! You're good and kind, and I know they make you hurt."
"If I go with you, I could never go back! They would cast me out! You don't understand!"
They were quiet for a moment
"I'm sorry," the boy said quietly. "It's just… I hate the way they treat you… I hate that sadness in your eyes."
"I am going to miss you," Andromeda said. "You know… Over the summer."
Edward nodded. He would miss her too.
"Just…" he started, "just know that if you ever need a place to go… You know… If things get really bad… You could come and stay with me."
Bellatrix had interrupted them at that point. She was livid. She threatened to tell her parents everything she had heard. Andromeda had threatened to run away. They both had said things they regretted, and they had not really spoken to each other ever since.
Be that as it may, she was still her sister. And Bella needed a sister right now. Cissy was far too young to bring into her mess.
Besides, the sisters would be going home soon. Away from the school, none of the mudbloods Andromeda called friends could stand between them. They could go back to being sisters again. Bella needed her sister. She was going to tell Andromeda everything.
The girl could have waited to talk to Andy in the common room that evening. Later that day, she wished she had.
Andromeda had taken a Potions exam that morning (the schedule of fourth-year students exams was different from those taking O.W.L.s and N.E.W.E.T.s) but by the time Bellatrix arrived at the dungeons, a couple of fourth-years waiting in the hallway told her Andromeda had already finished her exam. She was not at the common room, nor was she at the library. She was not hanging with that group of fourth-year Slytherins by the lake, nor was she at the Great Hall. In fact, Bellatrix was about to give up when she decided to look for her sister in the greenhouses.
Andy was there all right. But she was not alone.
Andromeda Black was kissing a boy behind one of the smaller greenhouses. It was not the same boy Andy had been talking to at the Quad before Easter. This one was considerably taller than the girl, and Bellatrix could not see his face, but she recognized him from a Quidditch match. He was a chaser.
"I am going to miss you so much," he said, kissing her lips again before he continued. "Will you still love me when the summer is over?"
Andromeda smiled.
"The summer hasn't even started yet," she said, playfully, pulling the boy closer, her fingers travelling up his neck to play with his hair. She had her back against the tree and the boy slid down his hand, touching her thigh, pulling up her skirt a little.
That's when Bellatrix couldn't stop herself anymore.
"Get away from my sister, you mudblood!"
Both Andromeda and the boy were startled. They pulled away from each other.
Andromeda was furious.
"Were you spying on me?"
Bellatrix didn't even take notice
"Oh, you would love that wouldn't you, you filthy mudblood."
It was Bellatrix who had spoken. The girl had finally come out from her hiding place behind a tree. She could not believe the petulance of this boy, this mudblood, to try and take her sister away from the family. She was Andromeda Black, she had better things to do than crawling around a muggle farm somewhere in the middle of nowhere! And she was engaged!
"Are you spying on me, Bellatrix?"
Bella didn't even take notice of her sister's anger. She was pointing her wand at the boy."
"RICTUM SEMPRA"
The blow hit him like a punch on his side and he fell back, laughing.
"Bellatrix stop! Leave Hunter alone!" Andromeda said, rushing to place herself between the boy and her sister's wand. She was still dishevelled, and a couple of buttons on her shirt were still undone.
"Look at you," Bellatrix said, still out of her mind with rage, then she turned to the boy again, "if I catch you touching my sister again, you—"
"You what?" Andromeda interrupted, "since when is it any of your business who I chose to go with?"
"You are betrothed," Bellatrix said to Andromeda as if that entire situation was absurd.
"She's what?" Hunter asked, disparagingly. He had finally recovered enough from the hex that could speak and straighten himself up, brushing dirt from his robes.
"I am not,-" Andromeda started, grinding her teeth. "Mother and Father made the—They never asked me—"
"Are you okay?" Hunter asked, holding Andromeda's wrist and trying to pull her to look at him.
"DON'T TOUCH MY SISTER!" Bellatrix repeated, red sparks flying from her wand in every direction.
"Bellatrix, stop!" Andromeda said, dodging the sparks with a quick moment. "Hunter, it's better if you leave, I need to talk to my sister alone."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," she said urgently, "please, just go."
It took a moment for him to decide whether he really wanted to leave Andromeda there, but then he finally left. Andromeda turned to Bella angrily.
"What do you think you are doing?"
"Protecting you!"
"I don't need your protection, Bellatrix! I like him!"
"What about Malfoy?"
"What about him? Mother and Father made that choice, they never asked me what I wanted! And I have no intention of marrying that stuffy little rich boy. In fact, I have no intention of marrying anybody any time soon!"
"It didn't look like it from what I just saw."
"What are you saying?"
"From what I saw…"
"Did you know I had never even kissed anybody before today? I would have been happy to just go on kissing him for a while!" Andromeda said, sadness mixing up with the anger in her voice. "He was good, and kind, and you ruined it! Why did you have to ruin this for me?"
"Look at you," Bella indicated her sister's unbuttoned blouse, "he was undressing you, here, in the greenhouses, what if there was someone else here, what if someone had seen you?"
"I wasn't going to do anything!"
"You have no thought for your reputation, for how your actions could affect me, how they could affect Cissy!"
"Don't bring Cissy into this just to prove your point!"
"He was touching you under your clothes…"
"We were just having fun!"
"And how do you think that was going to end, Andy?"
"I don't—I didn't'—I don't know…"
"Is that what you want? To end up… pregnant, carrying a mudblood's child? Before you even finished your fourth year? You are fourteen years old!"
"I wasn't going to end up… I already told you, Bella, it wasn't… bad… It felt good…"
"Stop it, Andy! It's wrong!"
"Why?"
"Because… because you don't know what you are doing! You are too young, and this could have consequences that you don't even begin to understand. Things you are not ready for! You don't even know what you were doing! You don't even know what could happen to you!"
"And you do? When did you become such an expert?"
There was an audible pause before Bella could continue.
"You are betrothed… You have a responsibility to your name," the older girl started slowly.
"Oh stop it! I am not you. I am never going to be you. You might take whatever is shoved down your throat without complaining but I am never going to make the same mistakes."
This was a bit more than what Bellatrix could handle. She looked at her sister, and everything that had happened in the past few weeks came rushing to the surface.
"Fine," Bellatrix said, and it took everything she had for her not to cry right then and there, "do whatever you want, Andy, I no longer care."
She turned her back and walked away. She couldn't even remember why she had been in the greenhouses, to begin with.
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Andromeda did not join Cissy and Bellatrix on the Hogwarts Express the next day. Bellatrix was not surprised.
"Where's Andy?" Cissy asked,
"I don't think she's coming with us," Bella replied, "she's probably with her friends somewhere else on the train."
"What happened?"
"We had an argument."
"What about?"
Bella shrugged, and Cissy understood she did not want to talk about it. It did not matter anyway. All of their arguments were always the same.
"I wish you wouldn't argue so much," Cissy said, talking the seat next to Bella and laying down on the bench, with her head on her sister's lap. "I wish we could go back to the way it was when we were little…"
"I know," Bella replied, running her fingers through her baby sister's hair as Cissy closed her eyes.
For a moment, Bella considered telling Cissy her secret, everything she meant to tell Andy. But Cissy was too young. She would probably be more scared than Bella was… No… she would have to figure out a way to deal with this on her own.
"And by the way, you are still little," Bellatrix said, kissing Cissy's forehead softly.
Cissy opened her eyes and watched Bella's face for a while. Then she straightened herself up facing Bella on the train seat.
"I am not that little anymore, Bella."
Bella studied her sister's face for a moment.
"Why are you saying that? Has something happened?"
"No…"
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"No, Bella, yew! Of course not!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!" Cissy sounded exasperated. "I am just saying that… That you can trust me, Bella. You don't have to take care of me like I am a baby. I mean it."
Bella was quiet for a moment. She refrained from smiling because she didn't want to seem condescending, but she didn't say anything. Then she nodded and looked out the window, distracted.
Cissy studied her sister's face for a moment and sighed. She looked out the window as well, watching the village of Hogsmeade become very small as the Hogwarts Express became faster and faster on its route to the South.
Author's note: This story has been Beta-Read by davros fan and by TheOnlyCeeCeeJ. Any remaining mistakes are entirely my responsibility.
Thanks for reading. The next chapter will be up in a week. I would be grateful if you left me a review to let me know what you think of the story so far.
Merry Christmas!
Live Long and Prosper.