January 1895
Nessa sat on the sofa in Fiyero's living room as Elphaba paced back and forth in front of her.
"I just don't understand how you could be so stupid?"
"Elphie!" Galinda gasped. "Don't say that!"
"Well?" Elphaba said, turning on Galinda. "It is. This was an incredibly stupid decision and I need to rectify it."
"Elphaba, please-"
"Be quiet, Nessa," Elphaba snapped as she resumed her pacing.
"But Elphie-"
"You too, Glin."
Galinda, who had been following Elphaba back and forth as she paced, walked straight into Elphaba's back when Elphaba stopped suddenly in realization.
"I'll go to Madame Morrible. I'll tell her to change it. To make it right," Elphaba stated as if it had been decided by the whole group.
"Elphaba," Fiyero said quietly as he laid a gentle hand on Elphaba's shoulder. "Do you really think that's such a good idea? Maybe you should just sit down for a moment and collect your thoughts."
"Collect my thoughts?" Elphaba said, letting out a mirth-filled laugh. "You're one to offer, Fiyero."
"Elphaba, please sit down."
"I said be quiet, Nessa."
"Miss Elphaba, If I may," Boq began.
Elphaba whipped around, her gaze pointed and deadly as she zeroed in on the Munchkinlander, who was momentarily very happy that he was on the far side of the sofa from the green woman.
"You most certainly may not."
"Elphaba, please," Fiyero and Galinda both said at the same time.
Elphaba stiffened. She crossed her arms and Fiyero waved Boq on.
"Go ahead."
"I just wanted to say that I think the only person who has a right to be angry about this is Miss Nessarose and she seems like the only person who is not particularly angry right now."
The group stared at Boq. Even Nessa looked up at him and muttered a quiet "Thank you."
All eyes moved from Boq to her.
"He's right," she began before any of them could speak. "I'm the one who should be upset about this and… honestly? I'm not upset at all. I'm happy. Very happy."
"No, you're not," Elphaba said, shaking her head. "You're just in shock. You'll be angry about this soon. Once you've realized what you've done."
"Elphaba, you're not listening to me," Nessa hissed. "You're doing what he used to do. You're telling me how I feel. But the truth is I feel great. I'm not in shock. I'm just… relieved."
"But you'll be angry later," Elphaba said, her voice almost a whine as she tried to make her sister understand. "You'll be angry later and you'll be angry with me."
"Even if I am, which I won't be," Nessa added before Elphaba could get a word in to the contrary, "this was my decision. And I will face the consequences myself."
"Where will you live, Nessa? Madame Morrible kicked you out too. I'd offer our room, but it's three flights up."
"I could probably help with that," Fiyero cut in, earning him a dangerous look from Elphaba. "She can stay here. As long as Nessa doesn't mind the couch for a few days, that is."
Fiyero looked to the younger Thropp sister, who smiled broadly and nodded. He looked back to Elphaba, who still had a dangerous look on her face, but couldn't bring herself to argue with him.
"Fine," Elphaba said. "But what about after a few days?"
"I think I can help with that too," Fiyero said quietly, earning him another dangerous look. "My parents own a few buildings here around Oz. This one, obviously, and also a couple cottages off the main campus. I'm sure they'd be happy to rent one of the empty ones to you. Oz, they'd probably just give it to you if I asked."
"Renting is just fine."
"And what about money?" Elphaba interjected, stepping in front of Fiyero to further stop him from offering valid and viable options to Nessa. "This is permanent. This is expulsion. You can never go back to Shiz. You probably can't go to any university in Oz again.'
"I'll get a job. An ordinary job."
"And if you don't have a degree, how will you become the Governor-"
"I'm not going to be the Governor!" Nessa exclaimed, clasping her forehead in frustration.
Nessa closed her eyes for a moment and inhaled deeply. When she opened them, she extended her hand to her sister, who took a seat beside her on the sofa.
Fiyero waved Boq and Galinda out of the room so the sisters could have some privacy.
"Nessa," Elphaba murmured, rubbing the back of Nessa's hand with thumb. "I just… You'll be disowned. Once he finds out that you've done this-"
"I'm fine with that," Nessa interrupted. "Completely fine with that. I've had enough of his influence for one lifetime. And he can't pin this on you because he was the one who gave an ambiguous order. And it's not like he's paying for your tuition anyways."
Elphaba inhaled deeply.
"I just really don't want you to wake up tomorrow or next week or twenty years from now and resent me for being the reason you don't have a college education or a relationship with father." There was a moment of silence as both sisters considered the statement. "What will you do for money? Father will cut you off. He'll close your bank account-"
"He can't close what's already been closed," Nessa answered. "I took out the money first thing this morning. And I'll get a job. Same as everyone else."
Elphaba stared unblinkingly at the wall just past Nessa's head. Her thoughts spun a thousand miles a minute, but none would stop long enough for her to grab it and say it.
"You're right, Elphaba. I don't know how I'll feel in twenty years," Nessa sighed, placing her other hand on top of Elphaba's. "But I do know how I feel right now. And I'm happy about this. I'm okay with it."
Nessa squeezed Elphaba's hand and Elphaba knew the conversation was over. Even if she could somehow convince Madame Morrible to reverse the decision, there was no way she could convince Nessa to.
It still took a little while for her to drop the subject completely though, and it wasn't until Fiyero and Galinda both threatened to punish her if she said anything else to get her stop.
Nessa appreciated this, but just because the topic had ceased to be a subject of conversation did not mean it had lost impact.
She found herself laying awake that night fretting over the future.
Even after the group helped her move her things from Madame Morrible's into a small cottage not too far from Fiyero's own house and she had responded to an advertisement in The Shiz Sentinel for a part time job at the post office, her worry took over.
Was this her life now? Just her in this one-room cottage? Was she going to live here forever or would she someday move somewhere else?
What would happen if she fell ill and couldn't work? Or what if the post office had stairs and she couldn't get inside so they just fired her? And what if it was too small so she couldn't move around?
What if she fell getting in or out of the bathtub? She couldn't call anyone. Would she just stay there on the bathroom floor? What happened if she was hurt?
Was this the end of something or the beginning of something. Or was it both?
And if it was both, which thing was worrying her more?
"We're pretty typical as far as a post office goes," Master Levkin explained as he held open the door to the post office counter. "Mail's mostly for the University but sometimes you get things for the locals. I think that's why the Head Shiztress refused to let us put one on campus."
"Madame Morrible?" Nessa asked, peering up at the back end of the mail slots.
"No, no. The one before her. Madame Fruthless. Terrible woman. Absolutely awful. Far worse than the current one, if you don't mind me saying so."
(Nessa found that hard to imagine.)
"Now, I'm going to have you start up front while you're still training," Master Levkin explained. "It'll get you oriented to the way it works, the usual customers, and all that. You start by sorting mail. Just like this."
Master Levkin went on to explain the outs-and-ins of the Ozian mail system.
He told her how mail traveled by train throughout the various countries and that mail and packages shipped across borders required certain stamps or approvals, how those who received a considerable amount of mail could apply for a special box right there in the post office, and how to keep the ledger of packages received and shipped.
Nessa was trying to decipher an address written in a particularly loopy cursive when someone approached the counter. She looked up to find the familiar face of Boq standing in front of her.
"Hi, Miss- I mean… No. That was right. Hello, Miss Nessarose," Boq said, fumbling a bit over his words in surprise. "I… I didn't know you worked here."
"It's my first day," she replied somewhat awkwardly. "Are you here to pick up mail?"
She couldn't help but feel nervous around Boq, more so than any of the rest of the group, though he was, admittedly, the only one other than Elphaba that she really knew anything about. Though they didn't spend time together anymore (and were likely on better terms for it), she still felt immense guilt and anxiety whenever they interacted. Like she may slip into her old ways simply by being in his presence.
Needless to say, theirs was a bit more complicated than the typical former couple.
"Packages, actually. On behalf of the library," he explained. "So, I'd guess it's probably that very large tome directly behind you."
Nessa glanced at the specified book and then picked up the label on top of it.
"Yes, it is. What's it for?" she asked, before quickly adding, "If you don't mind me asking."
"Not at all," he replied (albeit stiffly). "The library is connected with the other university libraries around Oz. We will often send books back and forth to each other. I come here almost every other day picking something up or sending something out."
"I see," Nessa said, nodding. She lifted the book onto the counter. "I just need you to sign, uh, here for me."
She set the ledger in front of him along with a pen. He signed the correct line without her needing to point it out to him.
Then, he gave her a slight nod and picked up the book.
"Thank you very much. I'll see you… Well, I guess I'll see you the next time I come in," Boq remarked.
He tucked the book under his arm and then clicked his heels together as if he was going to salute her. But instead, he just nodded and spun around for the door.
Nessa soon learned that he was amongst the 'regulars' Master Levkin had identified, though she began grouping him into a subcategory of her own making she referred to as the 'morning regulars.'
The 'morning regulars' would come in almost as soon as the post office opened each morning to pick up their mail and collect their things. The rest of the morning would fall quiet until the next rush came on their lunch break. The afternoon would follow much the same pattern before rounding the day out with the largest onslaught of the day as Shiz students and professors got out of class.
During the times of the day where the amount of customers to assist ebbed rather than flowered, sorting mail became one of Nessa's favorite work activities. Sure, it was boring and did not require much thought once she had memorized the rules and grew accustomed to deciphering handwriting, but it allowed her mind to wander. She began keeping a small notebook on the front desk in which to jot down thoughts, ideas, or even occasionally just doodles.
Following the first week of Nessa's employment, Boq did not return to the library until two weeks later (making his 'almost every other day' statement seem like a lie).
It felt odd to him for her to be so formal (well, professional) with him when they had such a history. She didn't appear to treat him any differently than she did the customers that had been ahead of him in line, but rather just asked her now-routine questions about the mail.
"Is there anything special about these books we should know?" she asked, her stamp pausing mid-air over a book Boq had just brought in.
"What do you mean?"
"Is it particularly old or rare? If it is, I can make sure it's processed as 'Fragile,'" Nessa explained.
Boq paused, frowning.
"It's just a book, Miss Nessarose."
"Yes, I know that. I just…" Nessa dropped her voice."I happened to get trained in package handling yesterday and I thought it may be helpful, given what I saw back there."
Boq considered the offer and then the book sitting on the desk in front of her. Then, he shook his head.
"I don't think that's necessary," he said at last. "But I'll keep that in mind for others, though."
Nessa nodded and finished processing the outgoing shipment before picking back the new arrival and handing to him.
"Oh! And there's one more thing too," she said as he finished signing the ledger.
"I was under the impression that we only had one book coming in."
"It's not for the library. It's for you."
She picked a rectangular package up from behind her. It was tied up with brown paper and twine and, when Boq took it from her, it was far lighter than he expected. Out of curiosity, he pulled the twine and the paper fell away to reveal a loaf of homemade bread.
He looked from the bread to Nessa, his brow furrowing.
"What is this for, Miss Nessarose?"
"I was looking ahead at my calendar last night and saw that the day after tomorrow is your birthday," Nessa explained with the slightest hint of excitement in her voice. "And I figured I wouldn't see you until after it had passed, so I thought I'd give this to you today."
Boq frowned at the bread, which made Nessa bite her lip.
"It's fresh. I promise," she said automatically. "I just made it last night. And I'm… I'm still getting the hang of cooking, but my baking actually turns out pretty well."
"But... why?"
"Well, it's your birthday," Nessa replied, her smile faltering a bit at his confusion. "And giving gifts is what you do on a friend's birthday."
"But I'm not your friend."
The words had slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them. And the moment they did, he could see something change in Nessa's eyes.
"That's not what I meant," he said quickly. "I just meant-"
"No, it's alright. I'm sorry."
Boq looked up at her, his confusion deepening. But instead of seeing tears roll down her face or even the beginnings of anger, he just saw (reluctant) acceptance. And, unless he was mistaken, guilt.
"... You're sorry?"
Nessa let out a sigh.
"Yes. I should have… I had it in my head that since we weren't, uh, dating that we were… But I guess I never really asked you if that was what you wanted or not." She grimaced and shook her head. "I'm sorry."
Boq stared for a long moment.
His natural response was to feel manipulated, to think she was doing this to make him feel bad, but Nessa's tone was sincere. Any guilt or remorse she expressed was genuine.
"Uh, well… Alright. Thank you," he said slowly, monitoring her expression closely.
He looked down at the bread in his hand and then tentatively held it out to her.
"Do you want this back?"
To his surprise, Nessa gave him the tiniest of smiles and shook her head.
"No. It's for you. Consider it a…a request for forgiveness. At some point at least. In the hope that we can one day be friends." Nessa inhaled deeply. "Real friends, I should say."
Boq considered the request for a long moment before giving her a stiff nod and turning for the door.
He would not return to the post office again for another several days, but he made sure to pay attention to how many of his friends, colleagues, and classmates wished him a happy birthday.
(Not one.)
Hi, ya'll.
You'd think that being stuck inside would lead me to churn out chapter after chapter of content, but alas, my brain has been empty. I'm bored out o my mind though, so hopefully it'll kick into high gear soon.
Anyways, I wanted to specify something that I realized may not have come across on FF because it does not have the tagging system AO3 does: This AU is canon divergence. It's not so much Act II Nessa looking back at what could have been different, but more so this AU splitting off from canon following "Dancing Through Life" and creating a new timeline. Sorry if that wasn't clear. It's been a while since I've really used tbh and I'm not used to being able to write a complete summary or having everything tagged well.
Hope you all are staying safe and healthy! Wash your hands and practice social distancing. Please.
Until next time.