It was around 8 when I woke up to my stomach grumbling. I didn't have the heart to wake Jake, so I figured I'd give it some time to see if he woke up soon.
(You're a good brother,) Aftran praised.
I smiled at her. (He's my only little brother, you know.)
Aftran hugged me. (And your only brother.)
(Yeah, that too.)
We didn't have to wait long. Jake rolled over on his side, eyes opening slowly.
"Hey," I greeted. "Sleep well?"
Jake nodded, smiling at me. "Yeah."
His stomach growled, then, and I had to give him a little nudge. Nothing painful, just a little poke in the side.
"Hungry?" I teased.
"You couldn't tell?" he laughed, self deprecating.
"Yeah, me too," I admitted. "I didn't want to wake you up, though..."
"Thanks. You didn't wait too long, did you?" Jake asked, sincerely.
As though afraid that I'd pass out if I waited too long for him.
"Naw, maybe five minutes." I ran a hand through his hair. "Anyway, I wasn't going to starve, either way."
Jake might be running the only resistance against the Yeerk empire, but in so many ways, he was still a kid. A great kid, of course, but a kid.
(He loves you, honey. He looks up to you,) Aftran murmured.
(Goes both ways,) I responded.
Aftran seemed like she wanted to say more, but she didn't.
Anyway, Jake looked relieved, and we got out of bed, ready to refuel.
I laughed, making my way out of the bed. "You know," I mused, "you're almost as tall as me. I might need to stop calling you midget if that happens."
Jake laughed at my observation. "I don't mind," he reassured me. "You can go call me that, even when I'm a foot taller than you."
Another laugh on my end. I wrapped an arm around Jake's shoulder. "Oh, you might not be a midget anymore, but you're never going to be a foot taller than me."
"Yeah, maybe," Jake relented. He paused, his hand at the door. "Does Aftran ever call you anything? Like, a nickname?"
I knew what he meant. "She calls me 'honey' sometimes. But nothing super creative, like 'midget'," I answered. Knowing that Aftran could hear me, I added, "Not sure Yeerks are very creative that way. Even the good ones."
(Hey!) Aftran protested, laughing.
(In all fairness, it would probably be a crime of host sympathy,) I allowed.
She shrugged. (Rumor has it that in the pool in the home world, there was less of that. More terms of affection. Some of the older Yeerks might know, but I was born well after the empire was formed.)
(Kind of like being displaced from your homeland,) I reflected.
(Yes. It's part of the reason the empire wants to defeat the Andalites, and in that respect, I cannot disagree. Of course, I'd rather we experience some kind of peace that allows us to return home, while not being exiled there,) Aftran admitted.
Before I could say anything, I noticed Jake staring at me.
"Tom? You coming?" he asked me, standing in the doorway.
"Sorry. Got distracted," I explained, pointing to my head.
He nodded, knowingly, and we headed downstairs.
Breakfast during the weekends consisted mostly of whatever you found in the cabinets or the fridge before Mom went shopping the following week day. She would tell us that we actually ran out of something edible before then, she'd make a stop at the market, but I could never remember this happening.
Aftran and I scanned the cereal boxes before deciding on Frosted Flakes, and Jake with honey nut Cheerios. After drowning our cereal in milk, we sat down to eat. My parents were already at the table, eating toast and drinking coffee, and reading the newspaper.
"Morning, kids," Mom greeted, looking up at us as we sat down.
"Hey," answered Jake, grinning. "How was the movie?"
Dad looked up from his paper, smiling widely. "Oh, you kids missed a real classic."
"I don't know, Dad," I retorted, stirring my cereal. "I'm sure those special effects were pretty good for the dark ages, but I'd have a hard time suspending disbelief if I saw them today."
"Now, young man, I'll have you know that I'm not that old," Dad answered, mock seriously. "I'm from the Renaissance, at least."
Jake groaned. "Sure. You were around when dinosaurs walked the planet."
He looked way too amused by this comment, and since Jake wasn't Marco, I figured that this was mission/battle related.
Well, since I had more or less succeeded in getting him to talk to me, maybe I could find out the story behind that.
After breakfast, Mom was heading out to teach a creative writing class at the local college, and Dad had a patient he wanted to check up on. He rarely performed house calls, but based on how everything had gone on Friday, and at the request of the kid's parents, he wanted to be extra careful.
"Try not to burn the house down while we're away," Dad joked, starting up the car.
"I thought you were a kid when they discovered fire," Jake shot back, grinning.
Dad just laughed, and waved goodbye as his car disappeared down the driveway.
"Nice one." I grinned at Jake. "Kind of a Marco joke, but nearly not as bad."
He returned my smile. "Thanks. They're not all bad, you know. Just enough of them."
"I'll take your word on that." We headed back inside. "We never did get a chance to try out that video game last night. You up for it?"
"Definitely!"
Jake set up the video game on the computer in his room, while I took a seat against his bed on the floor. Once finished, he handed me the console, and pressed play.
I let out a good natured groan. "Aliens flying spaceships, Midget? Really?"
"At least they aren't little green men," he pointed out.
"No, they're little red men flying green spaceships!" I snickered.
Even so, like most video games, it's addictive. Jake and I played several rounds against each other before Aftran spoke up again in my head.
(Can I try?) she asked, almost shyly.
(Sure. I'll let Jake know it's you.)
"Hey, Jake? Aftran wants to play you," I told him.
He nodded, a little, looking a little surprised. "You'll still be able to..."
"Yeah, don't worry," I confirmed, squeezing his hand.
I felt Aftran do just that, not imprisoning me in my mind, but fully aware that she's now using my body. Sometimes, like when she tucked me in at night, it could be relaxing. Like a parent or older relative helping you, guiding you, when you were too tired to make your body move on its own.
Not that it was like that now. Still. I was content to settle back inside my head, feeling safe under Aftran's loose control, as I watched as she fight's Jake's space men with more precision than I can.
(It's not you,) she reassured me, before I could worry about this. (Or, not your reflexes. I've been watching in your head all this time, learning alongside you.)
(Thank you,) I answered.
She knew me so well. Sure, I'd had two Yeerks who'd known me just as well, but they'd always used their knowledge of me to hurt me.
Not Aftran.
After a few consecutive wins on Aftran's part, Jake put down his console and smiled sheepishly at me/her.
"You're good, Aftran. Better than me," Jake admitted.
She laughed, a little. "I had the advantage of watching your brother play and feeling him play before taking my turn," she explained.
He nodded. "Extra practice before the big game, huh?"
"Essentially," Aftran conceded.
Jake watched Aftran for a minute, not saying anything, just observing her. "Is it weird for you, when you're not in control?"
Aftran shook my head. "I thought it would be, especially when Cassie let me back in her head. Before you were able to rescue Tom. We-Cassie and I-shared control, at times, but mostly, I sat back inside her mind. There's a Yeerk instinct that tells us to take control, especially when we infest a new host for the first time. Some members of the Peace Movement believe it's evolutionary, since we coevolved with the Gedds, and I've never seen a Gedd attempt to fight when their Yeerk left their head." Aftran didn't say anything else right away, letting that sink in for Jake.
"You were never at the home world," he pointed out, and I noticed his shoulders tense.
(Careful,) I murmured, more to myself than my Yeerk.
(I know,) she answered, gently. Then, (Thank you, Tom.)
Aftran nodded. "That's true. However, I've heard the stories of when Prince Seerow first encountered our kind. Even if they were revised by the empire, I can't believe that he would have given our race the technology to travel to other worlds if he witnessed our hosts in distress. Our elders, those born on the home world, claim that we had no physical restraints on our Gedd hosts. Moreover, the concept of breaking a host's mind wasn't even around until after the Quantum Virus was released. While our relationship with our Gedd hosts couldn't be truly symbiotic, it likely wasn't parasitic." After a pause, Aftran added, "My own Gedd, my first host, was very much used to a Yeerk's presence before I infested him, and his memory indicated that he hadn't suffered any mistreatment."
It seemed to be Jake's turn to nod. At least, he didn't argue with Aftran. Probably, this was the first he'd heard-or given much thought-to how Yeerks had treated their hosts before the Andalites came around. To be honest, it hadn't been something I'd given much consideration to, except to wish desperately that the Yeerks had never evolved or encountered the Andalites in the first place.
(Probably something most involuntary hosts wish for,) Aftran murmured.
(Yeah, well. Not anymore. With you, anyhow,) I returned.
I took back control, then, scooting over closer to Jake. "Hey. It's me, again." After a brief pause, I added, "You okay?"
"Yeah. Just thinking." He grinned at me. "A first, I know."
I rolled my eyes. "You've been spending way too much time with Marco."
"Tom, you know we've always been best friends," he retorted.
"Then, his sense of humor has gotten worse over the years, and it's rubbed off on you," I teased.
"Maybe," Jake allowed. "But, don't tell him I said that. He'd think that this was a good thing."
Of course, I had to do the whole zipping lips and throwing away the key sign. "Mum's the word."
We talked for a little about nonsense stuff like that, the way we used to a couple of years ago. Before I was infested. It wasn't a whole lot different now, except for the fact that Jake was the unofficial leader of the only known resistance of an alien race threatening to overthrow us, and I was still recovering from having been captured by one of them, and being rehabilitated by another.
Yeah, not much difference, at all.
Aftran snickered inside my head at this observation, but it wasn't like I hadn't had similar thoughts before.
On the outside, everything seemed normal enough. Two close brothers hanging out, taking a break from playing video games on a Sunday morning.
(I'll need to feed tonight, unless we get up very early tomorrow morning,) Aftran reminded me, when Jake had taken a bathroom break.
I groaned. (Can't we just go in an hour or so, instead?)
She considered this. (It's a little earlier than standard, but if asked why I'm back already, I could attribute it to my host's family's schedule.)
(So, that's a yes?) I confirmed.
(Yes,) she answered. (There will be more people, in all likelihood, if we go now.)
I shrugged. (It's a hell hole no matter when we go. Might as well get it over with.)
Aftran didn't disagree, and when Jake returned, I told him that Aftran and I were going to the Yeerk Pool so she could get feeding out of the way. Jake looked a little disappointed, but I promised him that we'd be back in a few hours, and I gave him a long hug.
"Be careful, Tom," he told me. "You too, Aftran."
"Always," I promised. "And she'll leave my head when we get back-just to be safe."
Jake nodded. "Yeah. We should always do that, in case anything goes wrong."
I didn't think anything would, but, then again, it was smart to have a fail safe plan. It wasn't like I'd be able to issue a warning if Aftran had been replaced by another Yeerk.
As it turned out, it was mostly aliens feeding that morning/early afternoon. Not that there weren't any humans, but probably, most of them were spending the time with their families, or stuck at one of those jobs where you had to work on Sundays. The line moved quickly, and before I knew it, two Hork-Bajir were dragging me towards an empty cage. For appearance's sake, I had to look broken but angry, and I thought I played my part well. There was no way we could risk me being reclassified as voluntary, with Gariss being a known host breaker and I being a long time involuntary host. We were always a little concerned that "Gariss" would be promoted, but as it hadn't happened in over a year, and Aftran doing little to attempt this, we were cautiously optimistic that we could fly under the radar indefinitely.
Besides, promotions didn't necessarily mean a change in host bodies. One of the sub-Vissers was a girl around my age, in another school district. At least two others "only" had Hork-Bajir host bodies. Not to mention, Visser One held Marco's mom's body as her host. Nothing against hispanic moms, but you'd think that the highest Visser in the Yeerk empire would want something a little closer to an Andalite host body than a regular adult human.
On the other hand, maybe that reflected her power. She could exist in a weak human body and let the shock troops do her dirty work.
Until she fell down a mountain after a fight with the Andalite bandits, having lost a lot of her influence due to enmity with Visser Three.
Or, so the rumors went.
Bored, I let my gaze travel around the cavern. My cage was still empty, but I'd probably get other humans packed in with me before Aftran finished feeding. The screams and cries were a regular part of the involuntary area regardless of the species being held there, but, occasionally, humans tried to hold conversations with other cage mates. Not something I'd ever attempted, although, on occasion, people had reached out to me. I hadn't seen the point, though. Were we supposed to pass secret information to each other? Some kind of underground railroad? If so, it would be for naught, because our Yeerks would know everything when they took us captive. As for companionship? Again, if it helped some people, I wouldn't try to mock or deprive them of it, but I didn't think most people would be close enough to their cage mates to talk to them again anytime soon. There wasn't an algorithm or anything like that, as far as Aftran and I knew. It was more of a "first come, first served" placement. The odds of sharing the same cage with anyone more than once in a month had to be pretty slim.
Still, I could see people talking, and a few shouts about the Andalite bandits coming to kill them all. Not likely. From what I could tell, the last trip the Animorphs had made to the Pool had been Cassie rescuing Aftran.
I wondered how that had gone about in the minds of my fellow involuntary hosts. Maybe, a Yeerk who worked as a rebel was one whose rescue was a good thing. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and all. Plus, maybe it gave them hope that they'd be infested by other rebels, who could make their life easier.
Sort of like me. I forced myself to hide a smile at that thought.
Before long, the guards were there, opening my cage, and dragging me to the pool. Not hard enough to do me serious damage, because Gariss had yelled at them early on for having given me bruises. At the time, I'd half hoped this would mean he'd decided to be decent to me, or at least ignore me, but he'd made it clear afterwards that my newfound hope was pathetic.
(Just because I don't want a damaged slave doesn't mean I won't damage you, slave,) he'd taunted, before replaying the events right up to my first infestation.
For five hours straight.
Remembering this almost sent me into a panic attack, and while the Yeerk Pool wouldn't be the worse place to have one, I managed to calm myself down enough to take a deep breath of air before the guards forced my head into the water. It wouldn't do any good for Aftran to enter my head entirely deprived of oxygen.
(I'm back,) she greeted, relaxing my body and standing up. (How are you?)
I gave a mental shrug. (Almost had a panic attack right before they shoved my head in the pool. Otherwise, can't complain.)
She could see the memory, and flinched inside my head. (Oh, honey,) she murmured, giving me a strong mental hug. (I'm so sorry.)
I gave a mental shrug as I relaxed into the hug. (Well, he's in his own prison cell, now,) I pointed out. (Come on. Let's get out of here.)
(Working on it,) she answered, but quickened the speed of my walk.
Once out of the Yeerk Pool, as always, Aftran returned control to me.
(I'm glad we went early. Thank you for suggesting it, Tom,) she told me.
(No problem.)
Even with Aftran there, I couldn't get the memory of Gariss out of my mind. One of the first times he'd tortured me, of many. She noticed, of course.
(I'm here, if you want to talk,) she murmured.
I gave a mental shrug. (What's there to say, really? Temrash tortured me, but stopped when I gave up. Mostly. The torture, I mean. Gariss? He saw me as his own personal punching bag.)
(I've only seen the memories of a few hosts, Tom, but I've heard stories about many others. From members of the Peace Movement. While it may not be especially reassuring to hear this, your experience was the worst I've ever heard described.) Aftran hugged me. (Even among the empire, most Yeerks are not particularly cruel to their hosts. Especially those who have given up. You were given two Yeerks who, in my opinion, not only deserved Kandrona starvation, but the longest Kandrona starvation sentence imaginable. I don't say this lightly, either.)
(How do most Yeerks treat their hosts?) I wondered. (The non Peace Movement ones.)
(Voluntary hosts are always treated well, because of their status as voluntary,) Aftran answered, truthfully. (They can expect to control their bodies for at least an hour a day, sometimes longer. They might even be able to negotiate with their Yeerk to leave certain family members uninfested, much like Rachel's friend, Melissa. Her parents are both hosts, but her father only volunteered to become one in order to keep his daughter free. That may be indefinite, but it's how it is now.)
I hadn't known this before. (How'd you find this out?)
(Cassie's memory,) Aftran replied, simply.
(Oh.)
(As for involuntary hosts...you know as well as I do that it depends on the Yeerk. Some attempt to recruit them, as it were. Explain that it's not too late to become voluntary, and point out the benefits of spending a couple of hours in the voluntary area every three days, rather than in a cage. They might offer control, but not as much as a typical voluntary host. Others ignore their hosts, but they will answer their questions because, well...) Here, Aftran laughed. (We're rather fond of telling our hosts information, especially if they are interested. I imagine that more than one involuntary host has become cooperative due to this semi-respectful treatment.)
(Did Karen ask a lot of questions? She must have, right?) I queried.
(Oh, yes, she had numerous ones. I tried to explain things as well as I could at her level, since she was only six when I first infested her. It helped to use images, when it wouldn't scare her, too much. I didn't-even then, when I believed that hosts were our right and we shouldn't care about their feelings-I didn't want to unnecessarily frighten her. I cared about her, but I thought it was a weakness, and I didn't want her to see that I did,) Aftran explained. (In many ways, it's easier, now.)
(If you...) I began, then didn't finish the sentence. Or, not verbally.
(I know I would have felt horrified at the treatment you received, but I would have expected some, though a lesser amount, from Temrash,) she answered, slowly. Thoughtfully. (I wouldn't have continued it, or threatened to. In all likelihood, I would have attempted to ignore you, in the beginning. Beyond what was necessary. At the same time, I don't think I would have been able to keep myself from trying to rehabilitate you. Maybe not giving you control, but attempting to help in an empire friendly manner.)
(Empire friendly manner?) I repeated, raising my eyebrows.
(Methods not entirely unlike the ones I use now, but, perhaps, more...brusque,) Aftran admitted.
(Like, "It's only a dream, you ignorant host, but here's a good memory if it will make you sleep better"?) I guessed.
She laughed, a little. (Yes, something like that. With the insults diminishing over time, because I would have finally admitted that I cared about you, just as I cared about Karen. With her, though, I didn't need to bother with the insults, because I told myself that she was young enough that they would do more damage than good. Not that I was nearly as gentle with her as I was with you, but when she had nightmares, she looked to me for comfort, and received it.)
I could see this. (You ever give her control?)
(Yes. I let her fall asleep on her own, after the first week. I told myself, and her, that it was easier this way. On occasion, I would give her control if we were alone. Except for that awful cat,) Aftran snickered.
(Was the awful cat sleeping on her lap, at the time?) I teased.
(Possibly.) Aftran raised an eyebrow. (At least once, anyway.)
I smiled to myself, feeling better. (Thanks.)
My parents hadn't arrived when I'd been out, so it was just Jake, looking tense, waiting in the kitchen. Which was pretty much how he always looked when I returned from the Yeerk Pool.
Without preamble, Aftran left my head, and I dropped her in a glass of water Jake had poured. Jake let out a sigh of relief.
"Still her?" he asked me, managing a smile.
I gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Yeah, still her."
Jake relaxed into a chair. "You can't blame me for worrying, Tom."
"Never," I reassured him. "It's not like I don't, whenever we have to go there. I'm always afraid that it won't be her, even though no Yeerk would be foolish enough to attempt to steal a host that wasn't assigned to them."
He nodded. "Yeah. Still, we can't be too careful."
"No argument, there." I fished Aftran out of the water, and placed her to my ear. Jake watched us, like he normally did, as Aftran climbed inside, slowly disappearing into my head.
"You eat lunch yet?" I asked Jake, after washing my hands at the sink. "I was thinking of making a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches."
"No, I haven't eaten," he informed me.
I rolled my eyes at him. "Do you want me to make you any?"
He grinned, a little sheepishly. "Sure. You make them way better than Mom and Dad. Don't tell them I told you."
"Oh, they already know," I laughed. "Since they always seem to wait until I decide to make one, and then ask me to include them. You know," I added, "I should show you the Tom recipe. It's not going to be too long before you and Cassie are officially married and all that."
"I'm fifteen years old," Jake pointed out, but he stood up, heading over to watch me.
"As a near war hero, that's got to be, what? At least 40? You'll be an old man before too long," I teased.
I was sure Jake rolled his eyes at me, but he paid attention to how I made the sandwiches. Since I'd like to keep my recipe a family secret, having spent years (okay, months) experimenting, I'm not going to tell you what I did, here. Neither will Aftran.
Just know that it's amazing.
After they finished cooking and were safely out of the oven, I divvied up the goods between myself (and Aftran) and Tom, which meant we each got two sandwiches. I noticed that Aftran always enjoyed the experience of eating, but it was mostly from a passive standpoint. She'd once told me that Yeerk feeding was much more efficient, because in addition to only needing to feed once every three days, there wasn't any preparation involved. I'd countered that the "flavors" of the Yeerk Pool never changed, while humans had been experimenting with different types of foods for thousands of years. We'd agreed to disagree.
Jake and I didn't talk as we ate, and even Aftran just sat back in my mind, enjoying the grilled cheese the way a Yeerk passenger should. After we finished, I leaned back in my chair, smiling, and watching Jake do the same.
I was almost as happy as I could be, except the memory of Jake-well, Ax-devouring food and playing with words came to mind. I hadn't known, then, that it had been Ax. That Jake had been a slave, and a slave to Temrash, of all Yeerks. Gariss had been new enough to my mind, back then, that he hadn't quite started the torture every moment I was awake. He'd still been studying me, watching me, as I lay defeated in my mind, wishing I could have just died, already.
Even in my defeated haze, I'd noticed that something was up with Jake, so Gariss had needed to acknowledge his strange behavior. My parents even took him to a therapist or psychiatrist afterwards, who just attributed it to stress and a possible growth spurt. Now, thinking about Jake being a slave to Temrash, no matter how short a period of time, just made me feel a little hopeless.
Aftran reached out to me, and wordlessly, I nodded inside my head. She held me, reassuring me.
Jake, not prone to the goings on inside my head, watched me quizzically. "You okay?"
"Yeah. Mostly. I was just thinking of when I was infested with my old Yeerk, after Temrash, and when you'd been captured. Seeing Ax, as you, devour everything that wasn't nailed down," I explained, attempting to make light of it. Failing. "Then, you know, finding out what happened." I could feel a lump form in my throat. "I'm sorry, Midget."
"Tom," Jake insisted, "it wasn't your fault. If it hadn't been for you fighting, I might have joined The Sharing. We all might have."
"You were still infested. With Temrash, of all Yeerks." I could feel the anger, the rawness, in my voice.
It was still new to me. Sure, it had happened to Jake over a year ago, but, clearly, I was still processing it.
Jake reached out, squeezed my hand. "Tom, it wasn't your fault. If it hadn't been for you fighting, I might have joined The Sharing. We all might have. My being infested was some stupid freak accident, because of the Yeerks not wanting us to ruin their new facility for infesting patients. You had nothing to do with it."
I raised my eyebrows. "Temrash had more than a little to do with that part."
"You didn't." He stared me in the eye. "It was never you."
"I just hate to think of you that way. Under this control. Going through the fugue," I continued, feeling like there was no stopping this conversation.
Jake sort of laughed. "The fugue was the easiest part, really. For me. I didn't feel any of the pain. I just watched Temrash, experiencing it. Maybe, if he hadn't been an enemy, it would have been harder." He shrugged. "I mean, I'm sure it would be torture for you or Cassie to watch Aftran go through that. But me? Temrash had stolen my body, was planning to turn in everyone to Visser Three, and spent the better part of the three days either trying to escape, or fantasizing about what Visser Three was going to do with my friends. Kind of hard to feel sorry for someone after that, no matter how much pain they're in. Especially since it wasn't like he felt any remorse about what he'd done. Especially, to you."
I squeezed Jake's hand even harder. "He...wouldn't," I managed. "He was...too..."
I couldn't finish.
Jake sort of nodded. "You know what the last words he said to me were, Tom?"
I shook my head, still holding onto his hand like it was a lifeboat. "What were they?"
"'So. You win, human,'" Jake quoted, in disgust. "Not, I'm sorry. Not even, you win, Jake. Just, you win, human."
I couldn't say I was entirely surprised by this. Well, maybe a part of me was. But it was a very, very small part.
"Yeah," I agreed. "I don't blame you for not feeling sorry for him when he died a painful death."
Jake managed a small smile. "Sometimes, I wonder why he didn't just leave my head when it was obvious he was going to die. He stayed way later than he should have, you know? Yeerks aren't like humans. They don't fight when they know there's no way of winning."
I was kind of dumbfounded at this observation, especially having witnessed this firsthand from Gariss. Even if Erek hadn't been present, I suspected that he would have left my head before the fugue started. Yeerks aren't usually suicidal.
(Maybe, he wanted to give Jake the memory of you,) Aftran suggested. (Since you were his first host.)
(As a gift?) I asked, incredulously.
She shrugged, mentally. (That, or, to show that the Yeerk empire would prevail, and he would have to remain living with a fellow Controller, even after the war ended. There's also the belief that when a Yeerk is so close to death, to inevitable death, the desire to transfer their memories to their host-no matter how much animosity is shared between the two-is greater than the desire to escape the pain.)
I repeated this to Jake, who sort of shrugged.
"If that was his plan, it had the opposite result," he told me, almost smirking. Still holding my hand. "I was more determined than ever to free you. It was just...figuring out how to do it, and keep you alive."
I nodded. Personally, I thought that they could have done so when they met the Chee, or when they found the Hork-Bajir valley. I could have alternated between those two hiding spots. There were dangers present in both places, after all. Still. I didn't think either would have been particularly helpful for my mental recovery. I might have been free, but would I have ever become sane again?
Living with Aftran was the best choice. For me, for her, and for the Animorphs. Even if it meant waiting longer.
I pointed to my head. "No complaints here, Midget."
He laughed. "I'm glad, Tom."
We sat there for a few minutes, in companionable silence. I was able to start cleaning up, when Aftran nudged me, gently.
(You think I should ask him, now?) I guessed.
(Now's as good a time as any,) Aftran pointed out.
I sighed, a little, inside my head. (It's going to be awkward no matter when we ask Jake.)
(True,) she allowed. (I could, if you want.)
(No, I think that would be more awkward than me asking him,) I answered. (Okay. Here goes nothing.)
"Hey, Midget?" I asked Jake, watching his face, which was fixed on his empty plate.
He looked up, nodding, but not answering verbally.
"I've been thinking, I mean, since you told me about Temrash." I gave myself points-internally-for saying his name without flinching or wanting to throw up.
"Yeah?" he asked, a little quizzically.
I noticed that he didn't claim to be okay. Or, that he didn't have nightmares anymore.
"Well," I began, again. "If you ever want help from her..." I pointed to my head. "I mean..."
I trailed off. How, exactly, did you tell your little brother that your Yeerk would be happy to infest them to provide emotional assistance, given that they'd been through hell a couple of years ago from another Yeerk?
A/N: This was originally going to be the final chapter, but when I saw how long it was, I thought that here was a good stopping point. The next chapter-which will be the final one of this story-will include what the entire story has been heading towards. So, I suppose, it merits its own chapter.
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