Apologies for keeping you waiting for so long, my muse decided to take a little holiday and life rather got in the way of my writing. It also didn't help that this chapter was supposed to be about half prelude and half the rest of the chapter but then the prelude grew and grew to be a whole chapter on its own.

The somewhat stunned silence that followed Jack and Anne's departure lasted long after they were lost from sight amongst the greenery. Sarah slowly became aware of the warmth of Billy's skin beneath her palm and the downy, pale hairs on his arm tickling her fingertips. She didn't move, reluctant to do anything to ruin this odd closeness that had sprung up between them. Since their kiss almost a week ago he had barely spoken to her, had barely looked at her and although to even the keenest observer all would appear as normal, the comradery was gone; the gentle teasing and familiarity vanished in the blink of an eye. She had tried not to take it to heart but it hurt her to witness how easily he was able to dismiss what had occurred. Yet the appearance of his pirate brethren had apparently erased all the coolness between them and she had thought nothing of throwing herself into his arms, the warmth and strength of his embrace soothing the terror that Anne's rough treatment had inspired. His whole demeanour had undergone a change in the face of the threat and when she had gripped his waist, needing a physical connection to bolster her courage, to her surprise and gratification he had threaded his fingers with hers and held her tightly.

Billy cleared his throat and stood up suddenly, Sarah's hand sliding limply into her lap. She regarded him closely. He was frowning, his hands fisting at his sides but he did not look at her. Anger flared inside her, hot and sudden, an easier emotion for her to deal with than the deeper ache in her chest.

'Look at me,' she said sharply. He did look at her but it was with a slow turn of his head that conveyed his reluctance. 'You cannot seriously be planning to accept their offer?'

She knew the answer but she needed to hear him say it, to make it real. The look in his eyes spoke of defeat and weariness, as if he was struggling to summon the energy to argue with her and then he dropped his head.

'Of course I am, how else are we going to get you home?'

Sarah's heart twisted at his casual acceptance.

'I don't know but I can't just leave you here and be on my merry way.'

His eyes softened when he looked back at her.

'Yes, you can,' he said seriously. 'It's the only way.'

'It's not the only way,' she responded stubbornly. 'We could take the ship from them, or you could stow away, or…something?'

'Take the ship?' She could tell he was supressing a bleak smile. 'You and me? Against thirty or more pirates?'

'Perhaps that might be beyond even your capabilities,' she admitted slowly.

'And if they find me stowed away they'll kill me, and then you, if the bargain is not met. I can't risk that.'

'But you think it is safe for me to travel with them? Do you not think it possible they will cut my throat and dump me over the side once we are out to sea?'

Billy shook his head.

'Despite his chosen profession Jack would much rather rely on his wits than his fists. I don't fully trust him but I do know that he won't renege on his side of the bargain. And besides, Anne will be there to protect you.'

'How very reassuring,' Sarah said, raising a sardonic brow.

'I know you haven't had the greatest introduction but trust me when I say, she will keep you safe from the men.'

Sarah didn't really doubt it, Anne was much more intimidating than Jack.

'And you can go to Nassau and forget all about me. Get on with your life,' Billy continued.

'Is that what you think I want?' she snapped.

'It's best for everyone. This…whatever it is we have here can't last, it never could. What did you think would happen, Sarah? I'm a pirate and a hunted man, there is no happy ending for me.'

She flinched a bit at his harsh tone and the bitterness underlying his words. It was her own naiveté that was to blame for her anger and confusion. If she was honest with herself, until Jack had casually confirmed Billy's own statements, she had not really believed that the long memories and thirst for revenge found amongst the Nassau pirates would make Billy's return impossible. His talk of the island and its inhabitants had encouraged her to think that perhaps her transgressions would be overlooked there, that she could fashion some semblance of a life and in all her daydreams that life had included Billy in some way, although in what way she had not examined too closely. Jack's offhand destruction of her fantasies and Billy's calm acceptance of their inevitable separation broke her heart and made her cling to those visions of the future with a stubbornness that she knew was both foolish and futile.

That thought didn't keep her from trying once again.

'You could go somewhere else…' she repeated herself mulishly, despite knowing what his response would be.

'There is nowhere else. No place for me,' he said, exactly as she had expected. Sarah took a deep breath. She had no solution for him, she just knew that whatever happened her happiness depended on her being at his side. And yet, as she stared at man she loved she could almost see the crushing weight of his past, heavy upon him. He saw nothing for himself in the future, allowing himself only the faint hope of an isolated life free from the threat of violence, and perhaps he was right. Her heart twisted again and she breathed out deeply, trying to control herself. She wanted to kiss away the frown that marred his brow, to take those clenched fists in hers and soothe away his frustration and exasperation, except she knew that she was the cause of it all.

Would he be glad to see her gone, rid of the unnecessary burden of caring for her? Did he see the appearance of Jack and Anne as a cause for celebration? Her first instinct was to plead with him but if he saw her only as an irksome nuisance than he would prefer to be rid of it would only bring her heartache and humiliation to argue the point.

'And you want me gone?' she said, careful to keep any trace of emotion out of her voice.

'Of course I want you gone!' he said exasperatedly. 'I want you safe with your own people and far away from me and mine.'

At least that was clear.

She bowed her head in mute acceptance, all opposition flooding out of her. He was right, somehow she should have known it wouldn't last, couldn't last. She would return to her old life, shamed and penitent, and hope that her next husband, if one could even be found, would treat her with a tiny degree of the consideration that Billy had afforded her. It was probably a vain hope, but she would have her memories to console her. She sighed and when she looked up at him he was watching her, his expression, for once, unfathomable.

'So in the morning…?' she said quietly.

'We accept their offer and you go with them to Nassau.'

She nodded and rose to her feet, needing to be away from him before the dam that kept her emotions in check shattered. As she walked away the sound of his voice stopped her.

'Sarah,' he said softly and then halted uncertainly. 'Don't stray too far, I…I can't protect you from Jack's men.' It was a reasonable request but Sarah didn't think that was what he had been meaning to say. She nodded again, not trusting herself to speak without blurting out something foolish that would only make this more difficult than it already was.

She went to the stream, ostensibly to wash the used cups but mainly to have some time to think.

Billy's insistence that there was no place for him now troubled her. She wondered if the same was true for her. Try as she might she could not imagine slipping comfortably back into her dull existence, content to frequent the endless tedium of pointless social engagements with people she actively disliked. It seemed unlikely that she would be allowed to continue as she was in any case, tarnished by her association with pirates, her dishonour widely known. Perhaps her father would send her to the country in disgrace.

Sarah cocked her head reflectively.

The country would not be so terrible, it would dreary and she would be lonely but she could read and embroider and have her brothers to visit. Maybe she could visit Mary, if Mary's husband would allow it. He might not, the taint of the scandal could be enough for him to command Mary to cut all contact.

Loneliness seemed to be the key element in her future, far removed from anyone who would care for her, ostracised from her social circle, cut off from the few she could call friends and separated from Billy. Nothing in common with anyone, the subject of malicious gossip and judged by all those she had once called peers. It was a dismal picture she painted for herself and yet it was a realistic one. And if she were honest with herself, without Billy every potential outcome was as dispiriting as the next.

A new husband might be found for her, although the possibility seemed slight given that after so many years of marriage to Woodes and no child to show for it all would know she was barren. Sarah knew that marriage was the best outcome she could hope for but she could only imagine the prospect with dread. Another husband compelled to marry her for financial motives was unlikely to come to care for her, or she for them. She had dreamed that silly daydream before and did not like to deceive herself again.

She looked down at the tin cup that hung from her fingertips and dipped it into the flowing water of the stream. She lost herself in the play of ripples across the back of her hand as a wicked thought occurred to her, one that a better woman than she would have immediately dismissed. A better woman than she would never have even thought it in the first place.

Did she dare?

It was a sin to even consider it but once rooted in her thoughts she could not rid herself of the idea. Billy's kisses had attested to the possibility that there could be more to what occurred between a man and a woman than the unpleasant and humiliating act that was her experience of marital relations. It was a sin, and yet she loved him, trusted him. Jack's comments had confirmed what she already knew, people would make assumptions whatever she told them to the contrary and there was no possibility of a child to substantiate any allegations. It was a sin, and yet so many other worse sins were committed every day by better people than herself.

She shook herself and scrubbed vigorously at the rim of the cup with a rag.

Would Billy even wish to bed her?

Without conceit she allowed herself to acknowledge that he probably would, if not for her own sake then to slake the lust that his enforced abstinence had caused. Woodes had taught her that affection or lack thereof had no bearing on a man's carnal urges. Billy did not love her but she knew that he would be kind. Would that be enough? It would certainly be far more than she was accustomed and when she left tomorrow she would be safe in the knowledge that only she and Billy would ever know the truth.

And that she would never see Billy again.

Sarah felt hot tears roll down her cheeks and she splashed some water from the stream on her face, silently cursing her sentimentality. The shock of the cool water helped to restore some of her composure, stemming the flow of tears, although her throat still felt tight. Unsure what she would do next, but determinedly quashing her wildly fluctuating emotions, she stood, shaking water droplets from the cups and making her way back to their camp.

Billy sat, shoulders hunched, snapping a twig into short lengths and tossing them into the fire, his eyes distant. The metallic clang as Sarah set the mugs down by the bucket of drinking water made him look up. She felt her throat close again, the dejected look in his eyes as his long fingers worried the remnants of the stick a perfect mirror to her own sorrow. Perhaps he would not be as pleased as she had envisaged at her departure. Or was it that he would feel only the want of companionship? Whatever the reason, she felt like a traitor for agreeing to leave him despite it being at his insistence.

His blue eyed gaze quickly turned quizzical when she stared back in total silence. She cleared her throat experimentally, trying to find the words to express herself and yet still her voice came out as a croak.

'I…um…' Words failed her. She smoothed her damp palms against her hips awkwardly. 'I should fetch my basket, I rather forgot about it when Anne accosted me.' In truth she had thrown the whole thing, fruit and all, ineffectually at Anne's head, before remembering her knife and brandishing it at the intruder. It hadn't taken much for Anne to disarm her but she had at least tried to fight back.

Billy nodded before looking away and Sarah marched down to the pool where the basket lay abandoned by the waterside, the fruit and bunches of herbs scattered on the ground. She quickly gathered it all up, checking for blemishes and pausing every so often to scan her surroundings. The only sounds she heard were bird calls but the constant rustling of the forest put her on edge and she was eager to return to Billy's protective sphere. He had moved when she arrived back, the axe, the cutlass and a collection of knives laid out before him and the whetstone in his hand. She noticed the pistol also lay at his side, ready to be cleaned and loaded she could only presume. The scrape and shriek of the stone on metal was her accompaniment as she trussed up the herbs for drying. She watched Billy furtively as she worked, following the movement of his large hands as he stroked each of the blades in turn, smoothing away imperfections, his concentration intense and brooding.

The midday sun arced lower in the sky as Sarah fidgeted aimlessly, ostensibly tidying and beginning to prepare their dinner but breaking off all too often, lost in her thoughts. For the most part Billy was silent and she couldn't find a way to break into his abstraction, hers being similarly consuming. Although she did not speak she found that she couldn't tear her eyes away from him, tracking every move he made, her eyes greedily devouring every detail of him to store away for a time when she would have nothing but her memories. If he was aware of her ardent gaze he gave no indication but occasionally he would look up and catch her staring and she would self-consciously busy herself in whatever task came to hand, trying to ignore the sinful thoughts that she couldn't quite quell.

Would God forgive such weakness?

'I should pack my belongings,' she announced suddenly into the silence, more to herself than Billy, who simply looked up, grunted a half-hearted acknowledgment and returned to his work.

She pulled her clothes haphazardly from the washing line, picked up one of her petticoats from the pile and began folding it carefully, focussing on smoothing out all the creases despite the obvious wear and frayed hem that meant she would probably burn it when she returned to civilisation. Billy got up but she kept her eyes averted, concentrating intently on her folding. He was back in only a moment but she pretended to be oblivious of his patient presence at her shoulder, marshalling her errant wits enough to face him. Finally she took a deep breath, feigned sudden awareness and stood. He was holding a leather bound book in his hand.

'I thought you could take this with you,' he said, holding the slim volume out to her. It was the copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream. 'Maybe think of me kindly occasionally.'

She reached out, holding his gaze, and grasped the book, her fingers brushing against his.

'Think of you kindly?'

'Just…sometimes.'

His fingers twitched as if he were about to pull away and she caught him before he could, gathering all her courage and smothering her doubts.

'You once said that women came to your bed willingly or not at all,' she blurted out, feeling heat flood her cheeks at her own brazenness. Billy nodded warily, a gleam of a question in his eyes at her sudden change of subject. 'So, if I told you I was willing would you lie with me?'

Billy's astonishment was palpable and powerful. He pulled his hand from hers and took a step backwards, fixing her with a hard stare.

'Are you willing?' he said, incredulity lacing his tone.

'Yes,' Sarah said, quietly but firmly.

'But, why?'

Sarah blinked in surprise. She had expected token resistance, he was a good man after all, but not that he would question her motives.

Because I love you.

'Because this may be my only chance to experience the physical act of…' she gestured vaguely, 'as you assured me it could be. With someone I…trust. A man of my choosing.'

He looked at her through his lashes, almost shyly.

'And you think that man is me?'

'There aren't any other more appealing options.' She had meant it to be a jest but her embarrassment made her delivery flat and he frowned. 'I'm sorry, that didn't sound as I meant it,' she said quickly, attempted a smile that she was sure was more of a grimace.

The frown on his face didn't ease and she found herself fumbling for the right words.

'I thought you might like…it…like…me and I wanted it to be you.'

'Me?' he said slowly, disbelievingly. Sarah gave a vigorous nod and then stopped just as quickly.

'I know you would be kind,' she said. 'If I am to go home tomorrow, well…I highly doubt that any man that my father can induce to offer for such a sullied reputation as mine will be a paragon of husbandly virtues.'

The muscle in his jaw twitched as she spoke.

'I wanted to choose for myself, this one time.'

'We can't,' Billy said, although he said it so uncertainly that it was almost a question.

'No-one would know but us,' Sarah said quickly, slightly incredulous that she found herself on the wrong side of the moral divide. 'There is no possibility of a babe,' she added, feeling a pang in her heart at the image of a tiny baby with his father's soulful, blue eyed gaze.

'You're married,' he stated flatly.

'I think we both know that isn't true, it just took me some time to come to terms with it. As you quite rightly pointed out, my first clue should have been when my so called husband married someone else,' she said evenly.

'Sarah,' he sighed, shaking his head as if she were an irrational child. 'You can't mean this. Look at me!' He gestured unsteadily down at himself. 'And then look at you. Think about what you're saying, you can't give yourself to someone as unworthy as me.'

'Unworthy?' she scoffed.

'I'm not good enough for you, you're a lady and I'm a…'

'A title doesn't make you worthy,' she said, cutting him off. 'Woodes was a gentleman, was 'worthy', and he was cold and indifferent and made me miserable for most of our marriage. And then he left me for another woman. You think I want 'worthy'?'

'I think you deserve better than me.'

'Can I be the judge of what I deserve? If you do not wish it, just say. I'm a woman grown and I'm perfectly capable of enduring rejection,' she said, her tone somewhat acerbic.

'It's not that.' He scrubbed his hands through his hair before they came to rest on the back of his neck. When he dropped his head again he fixed his eyes on her and she almost took a step back from the intense heat in his gaze. It made her stomach flutter. 'I want to… God, I want to fuck you. It's not like I haven't thought about it, but I can't. It would just be another crime to add to a very long list.'

The obscenity, used in such a context didn't shock Sarah, if anything it stirred something in her. Here was not the bloodless propriety of her marriage, the indifference that followed the pain and humiliation. Billy was nothing if not honest, he would not lie to her with stilted, polite but ultimately meaningless words. The supressed passion in his tone, an emotion she was only just on the verge of understanding, told her all she needed to know. He wanted her and the sense of power that knowledge gave her was intoxicating.

'You're comparing this to your other crimes?' She let out a short, mirthless laugh. 'I'm asking you, you're not taking against my will.'

'You don't know what you're asking for,' he said quietly.

'I know exactly what I am asking for. Don't think me stupid, or rash,' she said and watched as he shook his head in hasty denial. 'I have thought this through and made my decision. If you don't want this, don't want me, then say and I will cease to bother you, but don't presume to question my choice.'

'I don't think you stupid, or rash,' he said softly. 'I think you're brave and clever, and too good for the likes of me.' He held up a hand when she opened her mouth to protest and she shut it again. 'But I want you…if you're willing?'

Sarah took a deep breath, determined not to shy away from this moment.

'Did I not already say so?'