Obviously huge apologies for the ridiculously long wait between updates. I just seemed to have completely lost my inspiration but I am happy to say that it is back and the last three chapters are well on their way to being completed so I am hoping to have this story all done and dusted in the not too distant future.

'Be careful in Nassau, don't trust anyone,' Billy said gruffly.

Behind her Sarah heard Anne snort inelegantly but her eyes remained fastened on Billy's beloved face, trying desperately to fix him in her mind in the last moments of her happiness. He stood close to her, although not as close as she would have wished, Anne's presence putting up an invisible barrier of restraint between them. Sarah couldn't read all of the myriad emotions that flitted across his face as he spoke. There was a bleakness in his expression but at the same time a wistfulness that she could only assume was borne of his memories of Nassau. It made her feel wretched but there was no time left to effect a different ending to their story. Time was a river that she was trying desperately to hold back with her hands but the more she tried to cling to those last precious moments the quicker they slipped from her grasp like rivulets of water running through her fingers. It seemed to her that the day had passed in the blink of an eye and now she stood in the rapidly fading light of dusk at the moment of parting and she wasn't ready; she would never be ready for this final farewell.

It seemed impossible to her that it was only that morning that she had awakened enveloped in Billy's embrace, his lips pressed to the curve of her neck and his breathing easy and even in sleep.

She looks up to find him staring at her as she nibbles daintily on her breakfast and when he catches her eye he smiles sleepily but there is a hint of melancholy in his gaze that mirrors her own. The words flutter on the tip of her tongue, but she holds them back. Despite everything she has done, all that she has given of herself she is unwilling to bare this last part of her soul to him, to lay herself open to further heartache at what she is sure would be a rejection of her love. A kind one, but a rejection nonetheless. The words remain however, waiting for an unguarded moment to fall from her lips.

She had dressed herself with particular care that morning while they awaited the inevitable appearance of Jack and Anne. Her hair was neatly confined to the nape of her neck, she had demurely arranged a fichu on her shoulders and her petticoats were meticulously brushed. She was determined that the two pirates have no suspicion of this precious intimacy between her and Billy so they could not tarnish it with their taunting looks and vulgar comments. By the time they emerged from the dense undergrowth she had looked every inch the lady, prim and virtuous.

She didn't fool Jack for a second.

He strolls casually into the clearing long after first light, looking for all the world as if he owns the place, Anne close on his heels. He takes one long look at Sarah and guffaws loudly, raising his eyebrows knowingly. She swears she hears him mutter, 'Unwavering virtue, eh?', but she can't be sure, and anyway he is already laughing again. Refusing to dignify his teasing she stares him down, chin tilted defiantly. By the time Jack regains his composure Billy is stood at her side eying him with an irritable frown. Jack grins mischievously at the taller man.

'I would have thought you'd be in a better mood this morning,' he says with a leer.

Sarah shoots Billy a warning glance when he opens his mouth, knowing that he will just confirm Jack's suspicions with his protestations. Catching her eye Billy subsides with a roll of his eyes and a huff of annoyance.

'Have you quite finished?' he bites out.

'Is that what she said?' Jack chortles, winking lewdly at Sarah and clapping Billy jovially on the back, seemingly oblivious to Billy's rigid stance.

'We've discussed your offer,' Billy says crossly, clearly trying to distract the smirking pirate.

'And?' Anne speaks up for the first time, ignoring her companion.

'Sarah will go with you and I'll find that damned cache for you.'

Jack nods, suddenly serious.

After several frustrating hours waiting for them to arrive, wishing the thing done and the unpleasantness over until she was all but twitching with impatience, it had taken Sarah aback how speedily the negotiations were concluded. A final admonishment to meet Anne at dusk by the wreck and they were gone again, disappearing into the forest before she had time to reflect on the full implications of the bargain Billy had struck. Even now she felt anguish curl its fist around her heart as she wondered what Billy's punishment would be if he failed to find the cache in the three months Jack had allotted him, but she knew she would be long gone by then, powerless to do anything to help him.

She feels the looming presence of her pirate behind her and turns unthinkingly into his arms.

'I did not think it would be so easy as that,' she says quietly, accepting the comfort of his embrace and resting her head on his chest. Billy's hands tighten around her and she feels him exhale softly.

'What's left to discuss?' he says.

Sarah shakes her head but doesn't answer. She has no answer for him. Instead she presses herself a little closer to him. The solid warmth of his body against her and the musky, smoky scent of him are enough to direct her unruly thoughts towards ideas that are distinctly unsuited to a lady of virtue. It is odd to her that something so wrong, something that she has been taught to regard as the very depths of depravity can bring her so much joy. She doesn't feel depraved, she feels carefree and content when she is in his arms. She wonders if he is thinking as she is and when he tips her head back to kiss her sweetly and then more ardently, pulling the fichu from her neck with impatient hands, it is clear to her that they are of one mind.

Sarah blinked the memory away and swallowed hard, taking Billy's hand in hers and brushing her thumb over the back of his knuckles. She tried not to think of the exquisite feel of his hands and mouth on her during their final coupling, as the sun had inched its way lower in the sky. It was desperate, almost frenzied in its intensity, as she sort to imprint every inch of him on her skin, her memory and her heart. Determined to have only bittersweet memories of her tall pirate lover.

For a brief time hers and hers alone.

'I'll be careful.' Her voice sounded brittle to her ears. She took a deep breath and tried to inject some life into her tone. 'You be safe…and find that cache.'

He nodded solemnly, a silent promise that allowed her to breathe a little easier. If he found the cache then perhaps Jack would help him to leave the island, to disappear. She could only hope, for his sake.

Anne scuffed a foot across the dry ground and then spat contemptuously.

'We've got to go,' she grunted before moving swiftly off.

Sarah swallowed hard as she looked at Billy, there was so much left unsaid and no time left to say it. They had talked of everything and nothing that day, and although he had told her of people in Nassau who may be able to help her in some way that was the only extent to which they had talked of the future. Instead they had talked softly of the past, by tacit agreement sharing only fond memories and avoiding difficult subjects. She had wasted so many precious moments, and now in the final seconds of her happiness her body and voice betrayed her with their reticence. She wanted to scream with frustration, beg Billy to let her stay, sob her grief against his broad chest, but she did none of those things. She squeezed his hand, then leaned in and pressed her lips to his, hard and fast. Pulling away she released his hand, not daring to meet his eyes.

'I love you,' she murmured, unable, at the close, to keep the words back from him. She didn't wait for a response but quickly and resolutely turned and followed Anne into the dimming light, too much a coward to spare him even a single glance back.

The two women took a roundabout route to the shallow bay where Jack's ship lay in anchor. Sarah could see the glow of the deck lamps on the ship across the water, piercing the dusk. Anne put a finger to her lips and squatted down on the sand, watchful and silent as night fell. Sarah assumed that they were waiting for a signal.

The signal turned out to be a burst of raucous laughter and sudden shouts of encouragement from the foredeck of the ship. Anne tapped her on the shoulder, once again put her finger to her lips and gestured for Sarah to follow. They slipped carefully into the water and swam slowly to the aft of the ship. Sarah's heart thudded in her chest as she tried not to think what terrors the dark water beneath her might contain. A rope ladder hung down from the window of the main cabin and Anne nimbly scampered up. For Sarah it was a bit more of an effort and she struggled not to grunt with exertion as she hauled herself up. The rope creaked under her weight as it swung gently but the shouting from the front of the ship didn't abate and there was no cry of alarm. When she swung herself, dripping wet, over the ledge into the large cabin that she could only presume was the private quarters of Captain Jack Rackham, Anne was waiting impatiently for her, bustling her aside to pull up the rope ladder and close the window. Sarah spoke a quiet word of thanks when Anne passed her some dry clothes, and then Anne crossed the room and held open the door to a small antechamber, waiting with barely concealed impatience until Sarah hesitantly entered the room.

'Get yourself dry and wait in here until I come back. Keep quiet.' Anne said. Sarah's voice seemed to have deserted her so she simply nodded and watched the red-haired woman stride out of the room, the clunk of the key turning in the lock ominous in the resulting silence.

Sarah quickly changed her clothes, draped her wet garments across a chair, where they dripped a steady tattoo on the planks, and then inspected her new quarters. The room was clearly some kind of storage room, attested by the stacked cases in one corner, and sparsely furnished with a hammock and the chair on which her clothing now hung. A single flickering lamp sat on the floor and there was no window. To Sarah it looked like a prison cell, the abode of a captive and it was this thought, and the locked door at her back, that finally broke her carefully maintained composure. She didn't make any move the stop the tears that flowed from her eyes but slid slowly to the floor, curling into herself and muffling the sound of her heaving sobs in her sleeve.

It was much later when Sarah had cried herself out and lay cradled in the hammock, the gentle sway of the ship soothing her into a doze. The sound of the door opening in the outer cabin broke through her reverie and she slid from her hammock and faced the door, heart pounding. There were shuffling footsteps and a clunk from outside and then the door swung open. To Sarah's relief it was Anne who stood framed in the doorway.

'I've got some wine if you want it,' she said curtly.

'Wine would be…' Sarah trailed off as Anne had already turned her back and stalked away. Taking a moment wipe the last remnants of her sorrow from her sore eyes Sarah made her way into the larger quarters where Anne had seated herself at the table, lounging in her chair in a pose at odds with the sharpness of her gaze, and poured two glasses of wine. Sitting down primly Sarah picked up one of the glasses and took a sip. The wine was heady and rich on her tongue, the taste evoking memories of former times. She set the glass down again. Anne watched, her expression only slightly removed from a glare.

'Wine not to your taste?'

Sarah shook her head.

'It's rather more potent than I remember, perhaps if it were watered it might be better,' Sarah responded carefully, not wishing to cause offence.

Anne grunted and pushed the second ceramic jug of water towards Sarah. Sarah picked it up and topped up her wine glass. The second sip was easier and although she didn't wish to drink, her palate considerably changed by the months of plain fare and water, she swallowed it down to placate the woman opposite her. The silence stretched, broken only by the creaking of the timbers that surrounded them and the occasional clink of glass on the wooden table top.

It was Anne who eventually spoke, much to Sarah's surprise. She hadn't expected Anne to initiate conversation and the unexpected question made her jump and almost knock over her glass.

'What you gonna do when you get to Nassau?'

Sarah bit her lip and shrugged slightly. 'I'm not sure. I thought that I would seek an audience with the Governor, perhaps he might be able to do something for me.'

'You should see Max, she'll help you. For a price.'

'Max?' Billy had mentioned Max once or twice. He had referred to her as a business owner, although subsequent discussions had led to Sarah surmising Max was a brothel keeper amongst other things.

Anne shot her a look that Sarah couldn't quite interpret but there was an odd softness in her eyes when she spoke again, almost pride.

'Max is the real power behind the Governor.'

Sarah nodded, storing that titbit of information away for future reference, she would need the help of someone powerful. She rubbed a hand across her eyes and then sighed.

'Hopefully I will be able to contact my father,' she paused. 'If he hasn't disowned me then he will arrange for my return to England.'

'Why would he have disowned you?'

Sarah couldn't help the incredulous look that she turned upon Anne.

'An undutiful daughter, barren and dishonoured, why do you think?'

Anne snorted contemptuously.

'Most of the whores in Nassau would be delighted to be barren. And the idea of a woman's value dependin' on her virtue is just a bullshit way for men to oppress you.'

'I don't plan on becoming a whore,' Sarah said with as much dignity as she could muster.

'No-one plans to become a whore,' Anne smirked at her.

Sarah couldn't argue with that. Perhaps that would be her punishment for giving herself to Billy, for loving him. Not that she would change what she had done.

'I'll not be staying in Nassau long enough for it to become a necessity,' she said with far more outward confidence than she was feeling.

'And then?'

'I will go home to my father and either marry again or live quietly in the country.'

Anne's eyebrows rose.

'That's it? They're your choices? Jesus!'

Looking at her glumly Sarah admitted, 'They're not even choices. My father will decide for me.'

'You had a husband?'

Sarah nodded cautiously.

'Dead?'

'No, he left me, married someone else. He was…not kind.'

For a moment something kindled in Anne's eyes.

'They never are. So why the fuck would you want to marry again?'

'Limited options,' Sarah said shortly and then curiosity prompted her to ask, 'Are you married to Captain Rackham?'

Anne gave her a thin lipped smile and shook her head. 'No, he knows better than to ask. My husband was a bully and a liar.' Anne didn't provide any further details but it was clear what kind of man her husband had been and Sarah's stomach clenched in sympathy. She did not voice it, somehow knowing that Anne would receive her compassion with contempt. 'Jack helped me to find a new life, far from that cunt.' Anne continued, that soft light that had flared when she spoke of Max visible once again.

'My husband wasn't a bully, he just didn't see me.'

'There's more ways to hurt someone than to beat them,' Anne said sagely. Sarah took a sip of wine and looked at the woman opposite over the rim of her glass. There was a sudden series of thumps from the deck above and a barrage of muffled shouting. Both women glanced up and Anne rolled her eyes.

'True,' Sarah acknowledged. 'And no guarantees that my future husband won't find new and imaginative ways to cause me pain.'

'Why go back then?'

'Because my other option is whoring myself to the pirates of Nassau.' She ignored the little voice in her head that pointed out some might say she had already done that and eyed the woman in front of her. 'Or piracy, I suppose.'

'Not every woman in Nassau is a whore or a pirate,' Anne pointed out. 'Do you have any skills apart from lookin' haughty and pourin' tea?'

Anne's expression didn't change but Sarah sensed she was being ribbed. A little unkindly perhaps, but meant in jest nonetheless. She gave Anne a hesitant smile, barely more than a slight upturn at the corners of her mouth, wondering as she did so at the bizarre turn her day had taken. The first time she had met this fierce woman Anne had threatened her life, then Sarah had followed her blindly onto ship full of pirates and now they sat across from each other drinking wine, a very tentative understanding growing between them. It seemed the disillusionment of women with their husbands was widespread and unifying, crossing all borders of class and experience.

'I can sew,' Sarah said slowly. 'Is there much call for seamstresses?'

'You'll not lack for work, especially if you're not above a little mendin' and the like.'

'I'm not above it, it's a bit late for me to be holding my nose up at anything.' Sarah said candidly, her eyes kindling for a second before her face fell and she blew out a long breath. It was a scenario not unlike her earlier daydreams but the most crucial aspect – Billy – was missing and without him she had no heart for it.

Anne eyed her narrowly. 'Why are you leavin'?' she said abruptly.

'I have to get home.'

'But you don't want to go.' Anne said it as a statement rather than a question, so Sarah didn't feel compelled to answer. 'If you want to stay, why leave, we 'ent forcin' you?'

'Billy…' Even just saying his name caused her voice to waver. 'Billy said it was best for me to go back to Nassau. I can get a ship to Philadelphia or home to England.'

'But you don't want to leave him.'

'It doesn't really matter what I want.'

Anne stood suddenly, hissed 'For fuck's sake!' making Sarah flinch, and slammed her way out of the cabin. Sarah sat staring at the door, unsure what had just occurred. The sudden switch from cautious accord to explosion of temper was disturbing to say the least. Especially as Sarah had no idea what she had done to trigger Anne's outburst. She was back sooner that Sarah would have liked and this time she had Jack Rackham in tow. He leaned both hands on the table top and surveyed Sarah in her seat.

'Anne tells me that there is some question as to whether you will be leaving with us?' he said by way of an opening. Sarah looked back and forth between him and Anne uncertainly.

'I don't think there is a question, I am to sail with you to Nassau in return for Billy finding your cache?'

'That was the agreement, but Anne is suggesting that that might not be what it is you wish.'

'I…I…of course that is what I wish.'

Jack turned to Anne with a roll of his eyes. 'I'm not sure what it is you want me to do, the lady seems perfectly sure.'

'Ask her if she wants to leave Billy.'

Jack turned and eyed Sarah narrowly. She felt her throat tighten at Anne's words. Why was she saying that? This was hard enough without someone questioning her decision, Billy's decision. There was no choice really, she might wish to stay but he wanted her to leave, he had made that quite clear and she would be damned if she spent any more of her life hoping for a man's affection to animate towards her. She had already spent too much time waiting.

'Do you?'

She lifted her chin defiantly, 'It's not really my choice and even if I did wish to stay I would not force my presence on someone if they did not wish it.'

Jack looked at her for a long moment and then laughed long and hard.

'Jesus Christ, are you kidding me?'

He glanced at Anne who gave him a sharp nod, to which he gave a resigned sigh.

'Why is it that I have to provide the emotional support now?' he complained before turning to Sarah, 'What Anne is trying, very inarticulately, to tell you is that I've never seen a man more brokenly self-sacrificing. If you don't want to leave him then don't. He certainly doesn't want you to leave, but he won't tell you that because he loves you and will do whatever he believes is best for you, no matter what it costs him.'

Because Sarah was looking at Jack as he spoke she saw the way his gaze flitted to Anne who was starring fixedly at Sarah. There was a brief expression of wretched devotion in his eyes before it was swiftly replaced with his more customary mocking glint as he shifted his gaze back to Sarah.

She didn't stop to ponder that but stared at him in disbelief.

Was he telling the truth? Or were they playing some cruel trick on her?

Surely, were it true, Billy would have found the opportunity to express the strength of his feelings for her? That condescending voice in her head pointed out that she hadn't really giving him a chance to respond when she had whispered those words to him and hurried away after Anne, unable to bear that the last expression she saw on his face might be fondly pitying.

That Billy cared for her she did not doubt, she had only to think of all his many kindnesses to recognise that; the respect with which he had treated her, the patience he had shown when teaching her new skills, how he had consoled her in her sadness and celebrated her triumphs, and how he had protected her from the worst excesses of her ignorance. It only dawned on her now that his anger and frustration only manifested itself when she spoke of Woodes, as if the real source of his rage was her former husband and his ill treatment of her.

She gulped in a ragged breath.

Did Billy's feelings go beyond the carnal? Did he love her?

That was certainly what Jack and Anne were insinuating but she didn't entirely trust them. Billy had kissed her as if they might but she had just assumed that was just a demonstration of his compassionate nature, despite his lack of deeper feelings. She wondered now if she had been a fool, studiously denying what should have been obvious. The eloquence of his kisses spoke of passion and longing and love, voiceless whispers of everything she had dreamed, but she thought them simply an illusion he had spun for her, a tender fallacy.

And yet, she suddenly realised, Billy had no skill in deception, his openness and sincerity first allowing her to trust him and then moving her to fond exasperation when she saw his poor attempts to lie to Jack and Anne. Even in the beginning, when he was surly and grim and they were taking their first faltering steps towards understanding she had been comforted by his inability to hide his emotions. She had assumed that his thoughts were an open book to her, every emotion shining clearly on his face but it was possible that she had misread his intentions and misconstrued his every expression.

She acknowledged that Billy would consider her return to Nassau and to civilisation to be for the best, would do everything he could to get her safely there even with the limited options available to them. At one time she would have agreed with him wholeheartedly and would have sailed away with barely a backward glance. Now she could only picture him alone on the island as he lost himself again in isolation and madness. With no-one to pull him from the mire of his melancholy it was possible the man she had come to love would all but disappear. The idea made her heart ache and she put a palm to her chest, as if the pressure of her hand could somehow ease the hollow dull pain. How could she go on without Billy?

Sarah bit her lip and looked up at the two pirates scrutinising her. Anne's expression was hard to read but there was a hint of derision, as if she could not believe Sarah's stupidity. Jack's was gentler but mocking as he watched the play of emotions on Sarah's face.

She looked away and fixed her gaze on the rough grain of the table top.

Had she made a terrible mistake?

Yes she has (that's just my opinion though!).