Eddie wiped the tears from her face. Jamie's stomach trembled. He stood feet away watching her trying to hold the tears. "Eddie I…" The two's argument was so intense they failed to hear someone enter through the front door. Joe peeked from the kitchen entrance corner, he decided that it was time for him to reveal that he was there.
"Joe." Eddie gulped.
"I heard the whole thing," Joe muttered. Jamie leaned over the kitchen sink he buried eyes in his forearm. "Jamie I-"
"Where is all this coming from?" Jamie trembled.
"It's coming from why you never want to talk to us, especially when you're hurting," Joe exclaimed.
"I'm sorry… but there's no way I can talk to you guys about this. I'm lucky to have you guys as my family and as my girlfriend so when we're together, I want to laugh." Jamie finally turned to face the to two of them.
"Real family supports each other, they talk! if you're hurt then say something! we're all willing to help you and I know we can if you just let us!" Joe pleaded. "And what kind of people would we be if we could sit around and laugh while you're suffering alone." Jamie lowered his head, the tears streamed down his face while his lip quivered anxiously.
"Jamie." Eddie comforted.
"Do you ever think about wanting to die?" Eddie's eyes widened at Joe's question. The silence in the air leads Eddie and Joe into unbearable eagerness.
"I would never hurt myself but I do. Everyday-" Jamie's voice cracked.
"Why?" Joe's heart shattered into a million pieces.
"Because it's all my fault." The tears from his eyes dripping onto the tile floor. "Because I broke the promise I made to Mason." Jamie controlled his sobs before continuing "We always promised to voice our opinions to each other no matter if it was good or bad, I knew it wasn't a good idea but yet I said nothing... It's all my fault."
"You've guys have been causing mischief since you were kids, you had no idea that could've happe-"
"But I knew he shouldn't have had it and I should've just told him that, maybe he wouldn't have ridden it."
"Jamie like Joe said there's no way you could have foreseen the accident happening and if it never happened he'd probably still be riding it, you feel this deep remorse and regret because it happened but you shouldn't."
"No, you don't understand! I-" Joe headed straight for Jamie bring him into a tight hug, surprised from it his hands were at his side but it's a hug he desperately needed.
"Let the guilt and regret go. You didn't do it. It's not your fault." Joe whispered having his own tears in his eyes. Small shaky breaths escaped Jamie's mouth. "Don't go through this alone. When we lost Mason it felt like I lost you... That kid was another little brother to me and not a day goes by that I don't think about him or how much he means to everyone." Joe broke the hug tears clearly in his eyes.
"We're all here for you Jamie and we love you, never go through that pain alone," Eddie spoke.
"Thank you." Jamie wiped his tears looking over at Joe. "Joe, are you over there crying?"
"Me? What? No." He looked away, wiping his eyes. Eddie and Jamie laughed at his reaction. With this being the first time Joe has ever seen Jamie open up about how he is feeling took a huge weight off his shoulders. but as he watched Jamie laugh he could still see the sadness behind his smile.
"Yo! anyone home!" Danny shouted from the front door. "I brought the roast for tomorrow dinner!" The placed the roast into the fridge snagging a beer from the bottom shelf, closing the fridge door Joe came into his line of sight. "Joe?" His brother's eyes were red glazed as if he had been crying. "Joe what's up." Danny cautiously approached his younger brother placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Danny-" Joe began
"Is everything fine? what happened?." His worries consumed him.
"No one is in the hospital.. but nothing is fine. I never properly grieved for Mas and it all hit me today when I heard Jamie's argument with Eddie when I came home earlier."
"Okay, what happened?" Joe looked at his brother in the eyes.
"Gosh Danny... I didn't even know Jamie was hurting that badly.. I should've known because Mason was his best friend but.."
"Where's the kid now?"
"He's at the mall with Eddie." Joe took a seat at the dining room table. "Maybe a therapist would be good, it cou-"
"What happened Joe!?" Danny snapped.
"I walked in on his argument with Eddie, he told her that he doesn't open up about anything because it doesn't matter he said we don't understand what he's going through and crying and sulking will get him nowhere!"
"Wha-" Danny saddened by the news.
"And when I finally revealed I was there he told me that he could never talk to us about it and he only wants to laugh with us. Danny when I asked him if he ever thought about dying-"
"Wait for what?" Danny snapped. "Wha-what did he say?"
"He said he would never hurt himself but he does every day." Danny's legs failed to hold his weight he fell into the seat next to Joe. Emotions swirling inside. "I gave him a hug, I told him to let the guilt and regret go, it's not his fault-"
"I have to go talk to hi-"
"No Danny." Joe grabbed his forearm.
"What do you mean no? our kid brother is suffering!" Danny yelled.
"Danny we need to figure out how to help him instead of acting on instinct! When dad gets home I'm going to talk to him about it and we'll go from there. Danny, I love you to death but I know you won't approach this situation correctly if you act off your emotions." It took a while for Danny to process this through his thick skull but he sat back down realizing Joe was right.
"So what is the correct way to approach it then?"
"I don't know.." Joe stammered
"You don't know!?" Danny repeated loudly.
"Yeah, I don't!" Joe ran his hands through his hair frantically "That's why I need dad.. we do!"
"What do you think about this?" Eddie walked out of the dressing room for the hundredth time.
"I like it," Jamie said again for nearly the hundredth time.
"You said that last time and the time before." Eddie pouted.
"It's because I like it," Jamie said blandly.
"Okay! but you have to start giving me feedback on it, like is it too short or not my color! come on Jamie!" Eddie complained.
"Alright, next thing you try on I'll try to give you feedback or whatever." Eddie smiled running back into the dressing room, she returned minutes later in a beautiful white summer dress. Jamie's eyes widened at the sight.
"What do you think about this? it's not warm enough for something like this yet but I was thinking about wearing this to a barbecue or a summer picnic-"
"You look amazing." Jamie interrupted starring in awe.
"You think so?" Eddie smiled. "I'm going to get it. it's only $79 that's a deal." before Eddie returned to the dressing room Jamie stopped her.
"I was thinking…" Jamie began Eddie watched his eyes wander off his mind in thought. "I was thinking do you maybe wanna go to prom? I'm not really into dances or anything like that I just figured since it's our senior year and the dance is like next week? and I don't even know if you're into dances or anything so I thought I'd ask." Eddie giggled at how hard it was for him to simply ask her to prom, she thought it was cute.
"Jamison, are you asking me to prom?" Eddie playful looked shocked. he rolled his eyes laughing.
"Are you really going to make me say it?"
"Mhm," Eddie smiled.
"Eddie do you want to go to prom with me?" Jamie asked.
"Oh my gosh, Jamie! I'd love to go to prom with you." Eddie couldn't hold back the laughs.
"I'm going to go check out the Nike store." Jamie began to walk off.
"I'm kidding Jamie! but I seriously am excited about prom I've never gone either so going with you will be really fun." Jamie smiled. "But don't go yet I have five more things to try on." Eddie guides him back over to the seats outside the dressing room.
"Promise five more!? I'm starving Eddie." Jamie complained.
"Yes! I promise," she said in a very unconvincing way.
Eventually after trying on what she wanted the two headed over to the food court. Jamie returned to the table with the tray of food and two drinks.
"Here's your bowl, with a lemonade." He placed her items in front of her. "Now it's time for mine."
"That's a meal for 2 people." Eddie laughed.
"Two bacon burgers with fries and a large soda is a meal for a growing man." Jamie defended.
"If you say so." Eddie chuckled.
"Also- we should take the picture for the projects this week." Jamie bit into his burger.
"Yeah, I know! we are terrible photography partners." Eddie laughed. "When I first met you I wanted it done quickly, but here we are eight weeks later."
"Miss 'I want it done sooner than later'" Jamie mocked.
"You dragged me into your ways!" Eddie complained.
"Mhm." Jamie laughed.
"Anyways I'm really excited to go prom dress shopping-"
"You just bought a dress." Jamie interrupted chewing his food.
"Jamie, that's not a prom dress it's for summer…" Eddie looked at him like he was crazy.
"A dress is a dress." Jamie looks at her dead serious.
"Oh gosh." Eddie was stunned. The two were quiet after the small conversation eating their food.
"Eddie. I just wanted to say I'm sorry." Eddie looked at him confused when she was about to say something he continued. "I'm sorry for making you feel the way I did today, for making you feel like I couldn't talk to you about how I feel because I know if you were in my shoes and I was in yours that would hurt. I never really took into consideration yours or Joe's feelings in the matter. I feel like I could've expressed it better but I'm sorry."
"Jamie you don't have to be. I know how hard it is to express how you feel to others. there's no need for an apology." she smiled taking his hand across the table.
"Other than you being my girlfriend I want to recognize you as my best friend. I want you to be that person I can open up to about how I feel and I want you to do the same with me, so I'm going to work on that because I've never had a girlfriend like you and I'm grateful for you."
"You're going to make me cry," Eddie said emotionally. "I'm grateful for you too and you are my best friend."
"Danny, Joe?" Frank said seeing his sons slumped on different couches.
"Dad." Danny wiped his eyes. "Aye Joe dad's here." when he didn't get a response he threw a pillow at Joe.
"Okay!" Joe finally sat up.
"If you two were so tired you could've gone up to your old rooms," Frank said.
"We know we were just waiting for you," Danny replied
"What time is it?" Joe wondered.
"10:43" Frank replied after looking at his watch.
"At night!?" Joe was shocked I fell asleep no later than 6!"
"I fell out no later than 9 so I'm not that shocked."
"What did you guys want to talk to me about?"
"is Jamie here?" Joe asked.
"Yeah, he came home at 8," Danny answered.
"I'm going to go see him I'll meet you and dad in the backyard." Joe flew up the steps as he approached Jamie's room he was slightly taken back at the door being opened, Jamie never leaves it opened.
"Aye J-" Joe stopped seeing him asleep with Eddie snuggled at his side. Joe retracted his footsteps checking to see if his mom was home as well, gladly see that she was, Mary at in her bed reading her book.
"Joey you're finally up." She smiled removing her glasses.
"Yeah." Joe lightly laughed. "Eddie's here?"
"Oh yeah, she's staying the night and going to church with us tomorrow, also having dinner," Mary replied.
"Oh okay, was just asking."
"Everything okay?" Mary wondered.
"I was just checking to see if you were here. I'm going to go see Danny off I'll be back." Joe made his way to the back yard. Entered the backyard his father's facial reaction seems to show that Danny just about explained everything to him.
"Dad?" Joe said. Frank was trapped in his thoughts.
"I feel as if I failed.." Frank finally got out. "He feels so much guilt and remorse and I haven't helped him through it."
"You've tried dad." Joe tried to comfort
"Not good enough, not like I should've… He really thinks it doesn't matter because we don't understand…" That information was so hard for Frank to take in.
"We're going to help him through the grieving part." Danny declared. "We'll be more active and maybe see a shrink for a couple of weeks will help."
" A therapist Danny.." Joe corrected annoyed
"Okay whatever, but still!"
TBC! I felt like losing someone so dear puts a mental strain on someone but the next update will include Sunday dinner, Feedback means the world to me good or bad!