A/N: This is the last sad chapter, I promise! Things change dramatically next time ;)

(By the way, for those who may want to know my posting schedule, I'm sharing new chapters on Wednesdays and Saturdays.)

"Here I stand alone with this weight upon my heart

And it will not go away

In my head I keep on looking back

Right back to the start

Wondering what it was that made you change…"

—Rhydian Roberts, "What If"

For a moment Rey couldn't do anything but stare at Ben's still face in utter confusion. Surely what had just happened hadn't happened. She was either dreaming or still dead. It actually made more sense that she would still be dead, not him.

She still clutched his hand to her cheek. She lowered it to her chest and leaned closer.

"Ben?" she whispered, shaking him. "Ben…Ben, wake up."

Nothing. With a wretched, ragged sob she pressed her forehead to his and wept like she hadn't wept since…

Well, since Luke died. She'd barely had time to mourn Leia, and only with quiet crying as she'd laid a hand over Kylo Ren's bloodied stomach, willing the Force to heal him.

It wasn't fair. After all this time—after all that pleading with him through a connection she still didn't quite understand—after all that believing, in the very core of her being, that he would turn back to the Light—this was how it ended?!

Sobbing, she dragged him into her lap and rocked him back and forth. She cried for her parents, for Luke and Leia, for Han…for Poe and Finn, for Chewie, for everyone who'd suffered under the Empire and the First Order. The image of a young Ben Solo, haunted by his grandfather's legacy, only made her weep harder. Why did life have to be so cruel? She'd only ever wanted a family, and now…and now…

A faint but familiar presence just brushed her mind.

"Rey! Reeeeeeeeeeeey!"

Rey lifted her head with a coughing gasp. It couldn't be…could it? And yet there was no mistaking that voice…or the tall, stocky figure running towards her as fast as his legs would take him, dark head flung back, arms pumping. The fierce and slightly-wild figure of a herdswoman pounded after him, gripping her staff. Rey laid Ben down and staggered upright, yelping as Finn caught her in a bear hug.

"I thought you were dead," he cried, almost cackling with relief. "You were dead—I felt it—!"

Rey jerked back in surprise. "Wait, you knew?! How did—"

"Then you were dead!" Finn pressed a fierce kiss to her forehead before hugging her tight again. "I probably shouldn't have done that, but I couldn't help it—sorry—you can punch me later—"

"What the hell?!"

Jannah's horrified cry startled Finn out of the hug. Rey scrambled free and stepped backward, holding her arms out in front of Ben's prone form.

"It's okay," she said, forcing herself to speak loud and slow. "He saved my life and—and now he's dead."

"Good riddance!" Jannah snarled. But Finn only stared at Rey, then at the body, then back at Rey. She couldn't help it—she wanted to kick herself—but her chin wobbled and her eyes brimmed all over again at the astonished question in his dark, kind eyes.

"He turned, Finn," she choked. "We fought Palpatine together—and yes, I did die! But he brought me back, and it killed him, and I—I can't just leave him here…"

Her voice cracked and she dropped her chin to her chest, ashamed and broken and so, so tired. Jannah said nothing, but Finn took a step closer. When he touched Rey's arm, she staggered into his embrace with a sob.

"I wanted to help him so much!" she wailed into his chest. "Why—why—why?!"

"Shh, Rey." He rubbed her back in slow, smooth circles. "It's okay. It's okay…"

"No, it's not!"

"You're right, it's not." Finn hesitated. "Look, the Falcon's waitin' for us. General Calrissian and Chewie are out there, ready to take us home. I'll help you carry him…if you want?"

"You can't be serious, Finn," Jannah deadpanned.

"I've never been more serious in my life," Finn shot back.

"No," Rey hiccuped, lifting her head. "I can carry him."

Jannah frowned. "He was head and shoulders taller than you, Master. I don't think—"

"It's a Force thing," Finn interrupted her. "Whatever you wanna do, Rey. You do look a little peaked, but if you wanna do it yourself…"

Rey just sniffled and wiped her eyes with the ball of her hand. She turned back to Ben, took a breath, held out her arms. With just a little concentration, the body rose off the ground and settled gently into her arms. She barely felt his weight, but her throat tightened again at the sight of his head tipped back and one arm hanging.

"Okay," she whispered. "Let's go."

They made the long walk through the empty stronghold of the Sith, eyes locked on the horizontal line of faint light beneath the low ceiling. But the closer Rey got to the light, the harder it became to think much about anything. Physically, she still felt a queer awakeness after being brought back from the dead; mentally, she was numb. She kept her eyes on the light and tried not to look at Ben. Holding him with the help of the Force didn't require much effort, but she was afraid that if her emotions ever got the better of her, she'd drop him.

Finn walked alongside her with deep concern in his young face, ready to take over if she needed him to. Jannah walked a step or two behind, keeping a wary distance from the body of the man she'd known only as Kylo Ren.

When they finally reached the edge of the Sith Temple, Rey drew a sharp, shaky breath. Fresh air hit her full in the face, propelled towards them by the humming engines of the Millennium Falcon.

Finn spoke into the comm strapped to his wrist. "General? We're here."

Lando Calrissian's voice came back, sharp and clear: "We're coming."

Finn laid a hand on Rey's shoulder blade. She nodded, stepping forward just as the Falcon's back hatch flew open. The General ran down at full speed, followed by Rose Tico, BB-8 and D-O, and Chewie. When they all reached the bottom of the ramp and realized who she carried, they stopped short. Rey's eyes swam.

"Rey," Lando breathed.

Chewie's gaze went straight to Ben. At his long, low, grief-stricken moan, Rey began to cry.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I brought him home. I—"

The words crumbled in her throat. Before she could pull herself back together Chewie was there, taking Ben into his huge, powerful arms like he weighed no more than a feather. Rey let him, too mentally exhausted to argue. Rose rushed to her side, throwing a blanket around her and winding a sisterly arm around her shoulders.

"Come on," she soothed, rubbing Rey's arm. "Let's get you to the medbay."

A worried BB-8 hummed at their feet. Rey sniffled hard and squatted, taking his little head in her hands. He wobbled joyfully at her touch, but his lights remained dim with concern.

"It's okay," she whispered. "I'm okay. And I'm so glad to see you in one piece. You too, D-O."

"Th-th-thank you," the tiny droid stuttered.

"Come on up into the ship," Lando murmured. "Let's not stay on this godforsaken world any longer than we have to."

Within minutes Rey found herself in the medbay, her eyes on Ben as he lay on the bed while Rose hurried around the room, gathering medical supplies. She had told Lando about Luke's X-Wing; even here in the depths of the Falcon she felt the pull of the tractor beam as it tugged the legendary plane along into space.

Chewie sat beside Ben, unmoving and silent. Rey would've given a million credits to know what he was thinking. She considered probing his thoughts before deciding such an invasion of his privacy would be too awful. Not only would it be wrong, but she couldn't imagine his grief.

Kylo Ren had killed Chewie's best friend, after all. But he was also Ben Solo, the boy Chewie had known and loved since infancy. Han, Leia, and Ben had been the only family Chewie had left.

And now…

And now…

"Let me look at your hands, Rey."

Rey gave herself a shake and realized Rose knelt before her, her sweet face drawn with anxiety. Slowly, Rey held out her bloodied hands. Rose took them, gently dabbing the torn knuckles with a wet cloth. Whatever she'd dipped it in, it brought a soothing coolness over the broken skin.

"Where is Poe?" Rey whispered.

Rose smiled a little. "He's okay—Lando talked to him—and so is R2-D2. They're leading us all back to base."

"Us?"

"Yeah. Ships from all over the Galaxy came to fight with us. It was beautiful, Rey…you should've seen it."

Rey tried smiling back, but the memory of Palpatine's lightning paralyzing the Resistance ships filled her head and made her sick. Only Lando's return from the cockpit with Finn and Jannah on his heels saved her from dwelling on it too long.

"Well, that's it," the General said. "We're in lightspeed, on our way home—and I've got her on autopilot, so that gives us plenty of time to…" He paused and glanced at Ben, a tremor of sorrow passing over his expression. "Well…to hear your part of the story, Rey."

"Of course," Rey murmured. "And you need to hear it. All of it."

"If you're not ready…" Finn began.

"No," she interrupted. "I've got to tell you. There's more to it than any of us realized, and…and you need to know who I am."

Finn cocked his head. Rey's heart pounded at the thought of telling him about her heritage—and yet he's never judged or condemned me for anything, not even for hoping Ben would turn. And I've certainly never judged him for his life before we found each other.

The thought gave her courage. She could trust him with this story. In fact, the only one in this room who made her nervous was Jannah—and only because Jannah didn't know her well.

"Kylo Ren," she began slowly, "found me on the old Death Star."

"Yeah, I know," Finn said. "Jannah and I saw you fighting. I've never been so scared for you in all my—"

"Son," Lando murmured. "Let the girl talk."

"In the middle of our fight," Rey continued, "we both heard Leia's voice through the Force. She called out to him—to Ben—and he froze. I guess I was still so angry and caught up in the duel, I didn't even stop. I stabbed him…with his own lightsaber."

Jannah raised her eyebrows.

"But as soon as I did it," Rey said, her voice dropping to a numb whisper, "Leia died. I could feel it…and so could he. And I couldn't bear it. He just…he just sank…and we were both crying."

She looked up at Finn. "I healed him. Like I healed the serpent."

"But why?" Jannah cried. "Why not just let the monster die?!"

Rey scrunched her face in an effort not to cry again. "Because he was Leia's. And she was the only mother I've ever known. I couldn't leave him to die like that. And he…I…I…"

Rose looked up, pausing in the middle of bandaging Rey's hands. Rey met her encouraging gaze and caught her breath.

"I knew, somehow, some way, that Ben Solo was still in him. I wanted to give him one last chance to let Kylo Ren die and become Ben Solo again. So I healed him, and then I came to Exegol…and I found Palpatine."

No one said a word, but a chill fell over the room. Even Chewie lifted his head.

"I spoke with him," Rey said, looking straight at Finn. "He was my grandfather."

"What?!" Lando blurted.

Rey nodded, quaking. "My father was his son. I don't know how—and I don't know that I want to know how—but it's true. And my father and mother died trying to protect me from him." She shivered at the thought. "I wanted to kill him. He said that if I did, I could save the Resistance, but I'd become all of the Sith."

"But you're not all of the Sith," Finn cried. "And he's dead—he's gotta be dead—"

"He's definitely dead," Rey said firmly. "But only because when I was just about to strike him down, I realized Ben Solo had come for me."

Chewie's eyes locked on her. Rey smiled wanly and nodded.

"I knew right away that he'd turned to the Light. He just felt so free. We fought Palpatine together for as long as we could, but…but the Emperor threw him off a cliff and only I was left. The Jedi helped me, Finn," she said, her voice strengthening. "They helped me defeat Palpatine once and for all. But it did kill me."

Finn swallowed so hard, his Adam's apple bobbing over his collar.

"I know I was dead—I can feel it in my bones. But Ben somehow made it back to me, and he…" Rey's gaze drifted back to the body. "He gave me his life. All of it. He died to bring me back."

Rose glanced at Finn, and Lando's gaze returned to Ben. Chewie's head sagged. Even Jannah looked moved by the story.

"Well," she muttered, "I never would've thought it of Kylo Ren."

"Kylo Ren died on Kef Bir," Rey murmured. "Ben Solo died on Exegol."

"That doesn't change the fact that he made the choice to become Kylo Ren," Lando said quietly. "But he did the right thing in the end. Just like his grandfather."

Rey nodded, her lips quivering. Lando stepped towards the bed and laid a hand on Ben's forehead.

"I loved the kid, y'know," he whispered.

Chewie groaned.

"I know you did, my friend," Lando said. "And it broke my heart when Han told me he'd gone to the First Order. But it is what it is. I'm just glad he died at peace with someone else who loved him."

With that, he looked straight at Rey. She dropped her eyes to her bandaged hands, well aware the others were staring at her in surprise. Not even Finn knew much about her Bond with Ben Solo.

"I did," she quavered. "I loved Ben Solo. I loved the man I knew he could be."

Lando smiled. He stepped away from the bed and cupped her cheek in his hand.

"And I think," he whispered, "that he probably loved you for it, too."