Hi! We're back! And with another marathon chapter. A very sad, marathon chapter. Warnings for explicit abuse, physical, emotional and sexual, drug mentions, death and injury. It's That Chapter.
Still, hope you enjoy!
...
Leandro - Romano
Lars - Netherlands
Reilly is my cursed OzNZ lovechild. Max is Finn's.
When Eduard was 21, he watched his best friend, the man he loved, get married to someone else.
He spent his graduation trying to celebrate, and stop staring at Logan and Hunapo hugging and smiling and that ring on their finger glinting in the summer sun. Logan's grandmother's ring, that Eduard had wished could be on his hand instead.
Mr and Mrs Cooper were there too, with the girls, Jem having completed her own first year of uni. Layla was sobbing as she held onto him, whilst Logan was talking to Mr Kirkland, holding Harry to his chest.
"At least you won't have to deal with him anymore," Eduard said to the man he'd recognised as Logan's long-suffering lecturer, once Layla had disappeared to fuss over Hunapo.
His gown was too short for him, coming just above the wrists and ankles. Layla had offered to alter it, but he told her it was fine. She was busy enough with her 'real' family, and it always felt weird asking her for help, even though she would do anything for him, and vice versa.
He'd left Anton and Eliisabet a voicemail telling them he'd graduated with a first. They hadn't replied, let alone shown up to the ceremony. Not that he'd been looking out for them. They weren't in his life anymore, and he hadn't missed them these last three years.
"No, just like Mr Jones won't be dealing with you correcting him all the time," Mr Kirkland smiled as he said that, though.
Eduard laughed, torn between self-conscious and proud. "Alfred's often wrong."
"I know, but his ego is fragile. Any longer with you, so I hear, and it'd be gone."
"Guilty as charged. I'm sure someone'll take my torch soon enough."
"There's always one."
"Now you can find a boss to do that to instead," said Logan, "in some… computer company."
"That'll get me fired, Logan," Eduard sighed dramatically, "I guess my days of being an overconfident little shit are over. How will I manage?"
"You'll always find a way to be an overconfident little shit," Logan nudged him.
"So will you," said Hunapo, having escaped Layla's arms, and was now clinging to Logan's waist. And Eduard, with a sinking stomach, found his pleasant conversation ruined.
Eduard tried to be enthusiastic about his new flat, he really did.
He was living alone now! No more Logan polishing off the last of the bread he'd made himself, or noisily fucking Hunapo in the next room! No more having to watch gruesome nature documentaries when he was trying to eat. No more Harry waking him up in the morning banging on pots and pans, no more babysitting duty!
No more Harry and Logan.
Once Eduard had moved all of his stuff out, he sat in his kitchen and stared for a long while at his new microwave. He was doing well for himself, he thought. He'd managed to find a job fairly quickly, at a software company. He had high marks and extracurriculars under his belt, not to mention his native language and a few others besides. He was as smart as he'd ever been, despite everything.
And yet he stared at the microwave.
Maybe he should call Logan. He'd make the place a little less silent, at least. But he was busy, probably. With his pregnant fiancé and 5-year-old daughter. He had bigger things to worry about.
Maybe he should call Lyubov instead. She only lived a block away. His keyboard was lying unused in his room - they could duet together like they always did, put some coffee on, cuddle up in front of a film, maybe. But she'd already helped with moving in, he didn't want to bother her more. She deserved a break from him, anyway.
He could call-
No. No, he could stare at the microwave. Let time pass him by until he had work to go to, not bothering anyone by constantly being clingy.
Just stare at the microwave.
The doorbell went off.
He shook himself out of his microwave trance and got up to answer it. He opened up the door and froze at the sight, hand clamped tight around the doorknob.
Gunner Densen looked back at him with a hopeful smile.
He was older, of course. Same meticulously untamed hair, same eyes, but he didn't look like a kid anymore. Eduard had a lot of questions buzzing around in his head- How do you know where I live? What are you trying to do? What's with the cake tin?- but only one came out.
"What are you doing here?"
"I live around the corner. I, uh… I saw you moving in. I couldn't believe it at first; it's been ages , but… I don't know, I wanted to welcome you. So, uh… pastries." He held out the cake tin. "For you. Homemade."
Eduard stared in disbelief.
Then he shut the door in his face.
He paced around the kitchen, heart racing. He didn't know for how long. Maybe he cried, maybe he didn't, who knew? He sank into his seat, tried to catch his breath for a moment. He focused on the microwave.
Gunner. Around the corner. He knew where he lived, he wanted to welcome him , maybe to be back in his life. Not a chance. No.
He went back to the door and looked through the peephole. Gunner was out of sight, but he could be anywhere. He could be just around the corner, or in the corridor, just out of sight. He could be right in the goddamn elevator, on the stairs, wherever.
He cracked the door open and looked either way, like he was crossing the road. No Gunner. Just a cake tin on his welcome mat, and a scrap of paper on it.
E,
I'm sorry if I hurt you. I could have been a better boyfriend, I know. We were kids and we were stupid- me especially- but I understand if you never want to talk to me again. I'm a terrible person but I really do want to make things right. You were the best thing that ever happened to me and not a day goes by when I don't regret what happened to us. I want to be better.
G.
Eduard leaned against the door frame and turned the sheet around. An address and a phone number.
Call when you need me. You can keep the cake tin too! Call it a housewarming gift!
He took both into his kitchen. He read and reread the letter. And then he ripped it up and threw it away. He wasn't quite sure what to do with the pastries, though. He didn't want them, and he didn't want to return them, but it felt like a waste to throw them away. He opened the tin. They did look good. Perfectly brown, pecan nuts on top. Fuck him for remembering his favourite.
Hunapo stepped into Harry's new bedroom with a cup of tea in either hand. The wood floor was covered in tarpaulin and masking tape for the time being, just while Logan was painting the walls. Harry was at their side, sucking her thumb and watching her daddy paint the walls light yellow. She was getting bigger every day. Her hair only seemed to get messier. Layla had had to teach Logan how to plait it for her but he was quickly becoming a pro. If the aquarium job fell through, he could always become a stylist.
"Good progress."
"We can start moving the furniture in by Thursday, I reckon." Logan hopped down from his stepladder and took one of the mugs off Hunapo's hands. "Thanks, mate."
"Happy to help. Want me to do some?"
"No. You're pregnant. Your job is to rest and look pretty. You're only doing half of it."
"Fire me then."
Logan laughed and kissed them gently. Harry made exaggerated vomiting noises.
"Sorry, lemon." He crouched down to her height. "You like the new house?"
She nodded. "There's a cat in the garden!"
He gasped. "Really?"
"She's huge!" She spread her arms as wide as they'd go to demonstrate. "And she's got orange hair, like a punkin! And she let me pat her!"
"That's amazing!"
"Yeah! She was really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really fluffy. Can I help painting, peas?"
"Don't see why not."
Hunapo winced. "Logie, are you sure that's a good i-"
"It's fine! You're a smart girl, aren't you, lemon?"
Harry nodded. "I'm very smart."
He chuckled and handed her the paintbrush. "Here. Don't put too much on the-"
She plunged it handle-deep into the bucket of paint.
"…brush." He took it off her and scraped it off the sides. "A bit less than that. Like so. And you only need to dip it in just at the end. See?"
"And then you put it on the wall!"
"Yes! Clever girl! Go on, give it a try."
She painted the wall haphazardly, mostly just stabbing it with the brush.
"Good technique." He took the paintbrush off her before she did it any damage. "You'll have paintings up in the Louvre in no time."
She furrowed her eyebrows and indignantly put her hands on her hips- which is to say, barely south of her armpits. "Why would I put my paintings in the loo?"
Hunapo had to duck out of the room to laugh.
Eduard didn't realise he'd been ignoring his phone for a whole week until Lyubov came to his door. She didn't look angry, not really. She didn't do angry. She just looked worried. When he opened the door for her, she stood there, looking closely, studying his face. Just for a moment. And then he let her in.
She walked past him into his flat. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah." He wasn't sure if it was a question or a pleasantry.
"You haven't been answering your phone."
"Busy with work." Eduard was a good liar. You didn't grow up with his parents without growing a mile-wide cunning streak.
"Babe, have you been sleeping?"
"Course I have."
"You look tired."
"Will you stop worrying about me?"
"Well, you're not bloody doing it, are you?"
Eduard bit at a hangnail. "There's nothing to worry about. I'm fine. Just working hard. I work from home a lot. I lose track of time. Sorry for not calling, I guess."
"You guess?"
He sighed. "Sorry for not calling. You want some coffee?"
Running a hand through her hair, she sighed and sat down. "Sure." Eduard busied himself filling the kettle. "I just… Ed, sometimes I can't tell if you're isolating yourself or you just don't like me."
"Lyubov, of course I like you." He switched the kettle on and rested his hand on her shoulder. "I… you're amazing. You're kind and funny and you always bring twice as many bags to the supermarket as you need and you have an amazing voice, and somehow it sounds even better when you sing in the shower."
She smiled down at the table, fingering the grain of the wood. "Your bathroom has good acoustics."
"And you notice things like that." He kissed the top of her head and got back to making the coffee.
"So you agree you're isolating yourself."
"No! I just… have lots of work." He dumped grains into the filter.
"Nobody works as much as you do."
"I'm not isolating myself."
"I'm not blind. Tell me what's wrong."
The kettle finished boiling. He made her her coffee. "Nothing."
"Is it about Logan and Huna?"
"I-I-" Had she guessed? Did she know? God, he was an awful boyfriend. Why was she still with him?
"He's your best friend. You're scared he's gonna drop you now he's getting married. My mum hasn't spoken to her best friend since she was her maid of honour. Like, thirty years ago. She told me. It happens."
He was silent for a moment. "What do you know?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just… butt out, Lyubov. I'm not your goddamn pity project. Okay?"
"Of course you aren't! You're my boyfriend! I don't like you not being happy!"
"You don't like not having someone to make you feel better about yourself."
"Eddie, please-"
"What? Am I wrong?" He slammed the two mugs onto the table. "I don't need you to hold my hand. You just want someone to take care of."
"Yes, you're wrong. Jesus, is it so hard for you to get that people care about you?"
"Stop trying to analyse me!"
She shot to her feet, face to face with him. "Then stop isolating yourself!"
"I'm not! I don't have to be with you every second of the day!"
"I just want a little confirmation you still exist sometimes!" Her voice softened. "Ed, I love you, but I swear… sometimes you're like a total stranger."
"Well maybe I should be."
"What?"
"Maybe I should be." For a moment, there was clarity. "Maybe you should go, Lyubov."
"Are you…"
"Yes, I'm breaking up with you. Just… get out. Okay?"
"Eddie-"
"Please."
She squeezed his arms. He just stepped back.
"Eduard, you're not in a good way. You're saying things you don't mean."
"I mean it."
She sighed. She wasn't one to lose her temper. Especially not at him. She always did tiptoe. In the silence of his kitchen, he could hear her count under her breath in Ukrainian as she turned away from him. один, два, три, чотири, п'ять. He wished she'd yell at him like he deserved. Burn the bridge for him.
Instead, she just turned back and looked at him like a disappointed mother. "Ed, you're acting like a dick."
"Maybe I am a dick."
"You're not. You're a really sweet man, and you're not acting like yourself."
"Maybe you got the wrong idea of me, then."
"I didn't. Fuck's sake, I know you. You're Eduard. You're repressed, and tense, and socially anxious, if not straight up inept, and stubborn, and you can't talk about your feelings. But you're not mean."
"Just get out of my goddamn flat, Lyubov."
She looked like she was about to say something, and then she didn't. She stood up and walked out, leaving Eduard on his own. He stared across the table at the microwave and tried not to cry.
"You're bringing Lou, right?"
Eduard winced at that. Right, wedding plans. He was involved, was he?
He turned to face Logan and shrugged.
"I'm assuming you're going together, right? Maybe she'll catch the boo-kay."
"Bouquet. And I guess we can, as friends."
"Oh? Oh… oh my God I'm so sorry, Eddie!"
He waved him off. "It's fine, it's fine. We just… we went our separate ways."
"Things seemed to be going well between you!"
"Yeah. I don't know. I guess I might not have been as ready for a relationship as I thought. Also I kept using lines from mum's romance novels and they grossed her out," he joked half-heartedly.
"Mate!"
It got a laugh out of both of them, a real one. Logan, as gross as he was, liked to pretend those books didn't exist. "It's fine, though. Everything's fine."
"When?"
"A few days ago. A little before Halloween."
Logan blinked. "Mate, we're well into December."
"Oh. That's more than a few days ago."
"You should have said something. We could've… I don't know, had a night off to take your mind off it. It's really been that long?"
"Guess so. I've sort of lost track of time, sorry."
Logan studied his face. He was trying to smile, but not succeeding. His eyes didn't quite look at him, out of focus, distracted by something. When they were little that meant the gears in his head were going at top speed, thinking about computers or circuits or the facts in his big books. Nowadays, that just meant Eduard was in a bad way. Stuck in his own head. He didn't have such an active mind anymore. Logan always worried about him - it was always just there in his mind's periphery - but Eduard couldn't stand being fussed over. He was independent to a fault. He seemed to believe that hiding things made it easier for everyone else. Instead, Logan felt like he was watching his best friend fall apart and all he could do was watch.
He'd been like this a while. He couldn't be sure when it had come about- or at least, when it had got worse- but he'd estimate about when they graduated. Maybe living alone was taking its toll on him. Maybe, for some bizarre reason, he missed having school work to do. He wasn't sure. But he felt that familiar feeling, like a stone in his chest, that Eduard was growing apart from him.
He wasn't sure what he could do to help this time.
"We're still friends, though," said Eduard, "and we'll be alright by the wedding, so invite her. It'd feel weird, the four of us not being together." He tried to smile.
"We'll see how you feel a little bit down the line, okay?" he added her name to the list of guests, pencilling in a question mark. "Now, the big news of the day."
Eduard couldn't help being nervous wondering just what the hell Logan was about to say. Hunapo couldn't get pregnant again, could they? Two at a time? No, of course not. Call yourself a doctor's son, Eduard?
"There's something I want to ask you," he smiled nervously.
Eduard stopped working. Where was he going with this? He was getting married! And as much as Logan telling him he- it would've been a thirteen-year-old dream, but he would never do that to his friend.
And he wasn't sure he would want to be around Logan, either.
"Will you," Logan clasped his hands together, "be my best man?"
"Logan, are you-" he processed what he'd said, better, but certainly not fun, "oh, yeah, yeah sure." He swallowed. Being involved in the wedding. Making a speech in front of so many people. "Course I will."
Layla sternly told Logan he couldn't wear a t-shirt and jeans to his own wedding, and drove him and Eduard into town to get rented suits. Australian weddings weren't as formal as elsewhere, but, at the very least, Logan needed to look smart.
This was not helping Eduard's feelings in any way, but he was happy to watch Logan model various outfits.
Hunapo proved a little tricker to dress, and for a good few weeks, no one was entirely sure what they should wear, least of all Hunapo themselves. Eventually, after much discussion, Layla presented them with an outfit she'd made specially: wedding dress on the bottom, tux on top. The dress part was also made to accommodate their ever-increasing baby bump. When presented with the outfit, Hunapo hugged Layla and didn't let go for a good five minutes.
They'd started staying in more as they'd gotten bigger, partially because of pregnancy discomfort, but mostly because they couldn't stand being referred to as female. Eduard tried his best to put his feelings aside and keep them company while Logan was at work, if he had the time. And wasn't feeling too sad about the whole thing.
The two of them mainly watched the same old films, occasionally branching out, and eating whatever strange combinations of food Hunapo was craving. Eduard was glad he could never get pregnant, he decided as he watched Hunapo pour hot sauce on pavlova whilst crying over Boba Fett's death.
Still, that wasn't as horrifying as when they'd tear up and ramble about how excited they were to get married, how much they loved Logan, and how excited they were to be a parent. Not just to little Cooper-Davies (or Davies-Cooper, as they insisted) but Harry too.
That hurt Eduard most, he had to admit. He'd always considered Harry his daughter, in a way. For six years, he'd kid himself that he and Logan were raising Harry together, that she saw him as her second dad. The fact that he was little more than a glorified uncle was something of a cruel reality check.
Eduard sat at the bar, watching Logan and Hunapo dance together. Most of the guests were dancing, if they weren't chatting or getting drunk. Not the way Eduard was getting drunk. They were getting drunk to dance badly or horrify Manya, Harry and Allirea. Eduard was getting drunk in the hopes that he would stop being sad at his best friend's wedding. This wasn't about him.
Even Harry asking to dance on his feet couldn't cheer him up. He forced himself to step onto the dancefloor for her sake, but as soon as she got bored and went to get herself more Pringles, he went back to the bar.
He'd talked to Hunapo's parents, Brett and Kaia Davies, and it really explained a lot about Hunapo. They were lovely, if a little eccentric, both in film. Kaia was an indie director and Brett was a screenplay writer. They'd won a few local awards, back in New Zealand, and talking to them almost made him forget why he was so unhappy.
Except he could see Hunapo in both their faces.
He joked that he was drinking for Hunapo too, which was his excuse out the way and, after an in-depth discussion about cinematography, he congratulated them and got back to destroying his liver. He didn't want Brett and Kaia having to spend their whole evening trapped in conversation with him when there were so many more interesting people in the room.
People who were actually happy.
Hunapo still had crumbs on their face from where Logan had slammed them into the wedding cake, and Logan had icing on his lip from where they'd returned the favour. He'd even gone to the trouble of writing his own vows; Eduard had never seen him go to the trouble of writing anything. He tended to keep things stored in his head, where he would often forget it. He loved them. And they loved him too. They deserved each other.
Eduard had done his own writing too, of course. Best man speech. He cleared his throat with a glass of wine, stood up, and tried to be happy for them. He told the guests his stupid anecdotes. He told them how Logan beat up a boy who called him names when they were seven and how he had to go to A&E when he jokingly dared him to set fire to his hair when they were fourteen. A slice of it. None of the important stuff. He wasn't fond of the idea of telling a load of strangers how much they'd really been through. How he kept at his side when he was at his worst. How he found him living in a shitty hotel room and just about saved his life. Logan knew all that, and that was enough.
Lyubov had tried to talk to him several times, and, as long as she didn't ask Eduard how he was feeling, they got along fine. It was also a relief to apologise for how he'd treated her and make up. He'd been putting it off for far too long. She forgave him, of course she did. They were friends again, and when conversation turned to music, it was just like old times. He'd missed her.
But Lyubov had gone home early, and Eduard was left alone with his sad, sad thoughts.
"You did good up there," Logan slapped his back, pulling him into a hug. "I know that can't have been fun so… well done."
"I thought it was sweet," added Hunapo, on his other side. Great, just what Eduard needed.
"Glad you liked it. It doesn't really scratch the surface. I mean, Logan, mate, I love you. You're my best friend. I… I would ignore me right now, I'm kinda drunk. Just… look after him, alright, Huna?"
"I will. Promise."
The happy couple wandered off to talk to some cousin. Eduard watched them from his barstool. Logan squeezed them around the waist and kissed the top of their head. He quickly turned his attention towards the bartender.
"Get me a bottle of your finest cyanide, please."
"What?"
"I said vodka. Doesn't have to be your finest. Just… whatever'll make me forget things. Your most nail-varnish-remover-y vodka, please."
Several drinks later, the party was still strong and Eduard still hated himself. He watched them all dancing and kissing and chatting. Not one person in the room was alone. Even the photographer was chatting up some friend of Hunapo's. Hunapo themself was pinned against a wall, making out with their husband. Their face was between his hands. They could have been one person right there, a single entity. They pulled apart for a moment. From across the room, he couldn't see their faces, but he knew how Logan was looking at them. Like they were the most beautiful thing on earth. Like the whole venue could collapse around them and Logan wouldn't even notice.
Eduard didn't know how he felt. He was bitter, sure. But Logan deserved them. He really did. They made him laugh. And they were a good person. A happy one, too, without all the baggage Logan would have to deal with if he'd ever dated Eduard. Like Lyubov had had to deal with. He and Logan- that was a dream. That was a dumb fantasy from when Eduard was a kid. It was never going to happen. He'd always known that, really. Some people just aren't the kind you can love, and that was the way it was. So what?
He got the bartender's attention.
"However many bottles of whatever, please. I gotta go."
"I- I mean, I should've seen it coming. We were never meant to get together." He almost spilt champagne on the backseat of the cab, earning a glare from the driver that turned to a look of sympathy when Eduard started sobbing. "But now… he's… he's married and happy and- and-" He punched the seat next to him. "And I'm gonna die alone. I mean, why would anyone love me? Why would he love me? Have you met me? I had this girlfriend once. And, fuck, she was so lovely. You know those people that are like, really, really lovely? Bitches next to her. She was… inordinately lovely. And I loved her, but I was shit at it. And she deserved better. And anyone would deserve better. And he deserves… fucking Huna, I guess. Lovely Huna. And their lovely… lovely husband. Lovely, lovely, lovely." He downed more of his champagne. "And I don't deserve shit. Don't deserve any of them. I don't even deserve you."
"Thanks?"
"I should've said something. Before he went and got actually fucking married. But- but he would never feel that- that way about me either, right?" He hiccupped. "I'd just destroy our friendship and- and- and that means everything to me." Eduard finished the bottle and held it in his arms. "He means ev-everything to me. You think I'm unlovable?"
"I'm your taxi driver, mate."
He pulled his phone out of his pocket, and stared at it blankly, the gears in his brain in overdrive.
"You think I should get over him?"
The cabbie shrugged. "Why the hell are you asking me? I'm just driving your drunk arse home."
"Oh yeah. Thanks, man. I appreciate it. You're nice."
"You're paying me."
"Yeah. But still. You seem nice. What's your name?"
"Leandro."
"You ever been in love, Leandro?"
"Uh, I guess. I dunno. It's fuckin' complicated."
"Word of advice, Leandro Taxiguy," he slurred, "Don't bother. It's stupid. Love is stupid and he likes other people 'cause you were too much of a bitch to tell him. Dunno why I bother. Probably if I ever get married it's gonna end up like my parents anyway. All… doing the same sudoku puzzle in two different copies of the same paper and sleeping in two different beds. Ha! Staying together for a kid you don't even like."
"Do you need a tissue? Or… a therapist, maybe?"
"Fuck therapy, I have…" He gestured vaguely at the empty bottle. "Ha! Nothing, 'cause it's empty. Wait." He pulled a whole other bottle out of his bag, this one of vodka, and started chugging it. "I'm a master thief."
"Did you steal that?"
"No." He put his legs up on the seats next to him. "I was the best man. I'm allowed aaaallllllll the drinks."
"I don't think that's a rule."
"What are you, a wedding?" Eduard looked at his phone. "Hey, can we turn around? I- I'd like to go not-home right now. Somewhere else."
"Err- sure."
"I have the address here, somewhere. Bef-before I decide it's a bad idea."
Of course it was raining. It always was at times like this, and other times because, well, that's England for you. Eduard just let it soak him, running down his face and turning his suit to lead. Yet he was still so drunk he had to lean against the door frame to stop himself falling on his face. Like when he didn't realise there was a closed gate in his way.
He rang the doorbell before his common sense told him to run away.
Gunner answered the door. He looked a little tired, but his eyes lit up when he saw Eduard.
"Eddie! Hey, what brings you here so-"
And all at once, Eduard's lips were on his and his arms were around his neck and he was forgetting and pretending and could almost kid himself into being happy.
Gunner stumbled back, the wind knocked out of him, and grinned. "I missed you too."
"I knew you'd come round." Gunner held him close, almost possessively. Eduard was too drunk and sad to care. He couldn't tell Gunner exactly why he was here - that he was just using him to get over Logan, and the guilt told him to not concentrate on Gunner's behaviour. He was too sad to care anyway.
It was warm, in his arms, just what Eduard needed after being out in the cold and rain. The sweat on his shoulder froze on his skin, and he buried himself in the duvet. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend he was in Logan's arms, and that made him feel terrible.
So he pretended to not feel terrible.
"I still love you," said Gunner, kissing his forehead. "I never stopped loving you. All this time, when we were apart, I felt so horrible. I… I fucked up badly. It's not gonna be like that this time round."
Somewhere, in the deep, hazy recesses of his mind, Eduard was still scared of Gunner, screaming at the rest of him to run and get out of there. But it was buried, under the misery and self-loathing and maybe he didn't care what happened to him. Didn't care that Gunner was probably lying. It was a distraction. It was a pair of arms to hold him. And really, whatever he did, it was what he deserved, wasn't it?
"I'm not gonna let you go this time," Gunner continued, "it's just gonna be me and you and it'll be good, I promise."
Hunapo gave birth to Reilly a few weeks after the wedding.
This baby was a lot healthier than Harry had been, loud and chubby and a whopping 8 pounds, compared to Harry's 4, despite Hunapo and Laura being about the same size. Which Hunapo made perfectly clear in various threats to Logan.
Eduard stayed outside for most of the birth, letting Mr Cooper doze off on his shoulder. At some point, he popped home for some sleep, seeing as Hunapo had been there for 14 hours with little in the way of babies to show for it. Eight hours later, he was back and Hunapo was still giving birth. After 24 hours of blood, sweat, tears, and something called an episiotomy, Logan had stopped threatening to throw up, and passed Hunapo their new baby.
They'd already decided on Reilly Kaia Davies Cooper for a name. As Kaia managed to show up to the birth, coming all the way from New Zealand, she got to have a grandchild named after her, a rule both families could agree on. Mr and Mrs Davies had been staying with them for a few weeks, keeping Hunapo company while Logan was at work, telling them what to expect. Though, judging by Hunapo's face, nothing could've prepared them for Reilly.
Everyone felt a lot more confident holding this one once they'd been washed, checked, and wrapped up in more of Layla's knitted blankets to keep out the February cold.
Harry, in particular, adored the new baby, constantly rambling about how much she loved her sister, kissing their forehead at every opportunity, and showing them all her toys. As far as she was concerned, Reilly was the best baby ever, despite the constant crying and pooping.
Eduard, however, decided there were enough people in Reilly's life and they wouldn't be needing him as much as Harry had.
Gunner really had cleaned his act up. Same cocky grin and spiky hair, but he'd grown up. Mellowed out over the last few years. He genuinely seemed to care about Eduard this time round. He was affectionate, but kept the affection indoors. Even when his self-loathing faded itself into the background with the rest of it, he found Gunner was actually not all that bad. Hyperactive, sure, but he was a sweet guy, really. Had he always been this nice? Maybe he'd just been more sensitive as a kid.
"How was uni, then?" They'd both silently agreed not to talk about what happened in sixth form. That was behind them.
"Fine, yeah. I stayed with Logan and Harry. It wasn't Cambridge, but I think I would've been out of my depth there."
"Probably. Bunch of posh people."
"Yeah. And it was good to have friends there." He still sort of regretted missing the deadlines sometimes, but he supposed he'd still be under his parents' cruel spell if he had gone.
"You had that girlfriend, right?"
"Lyubov. Yeah."
"Why'd you break up?"
"Wasn't working out."
"Well-" He nudged him affectionately. "You've got me now."
"That I do."
"Can I ask you something?" Hunapo gently lowered baby Reilly into the same moses basket that had carried every other Cooper, and let them sleep off their tantrum. They looked at the banana-covered highchair and decided to postpone dealing with that shit.
Reilly had only gotten more boisterous as they got older, and, at nearly a year old, they had only gotten more powerful with the ability to walk. Logan was terrified. Harry had never been this much of a handful, and he had to appreciate that. 16-year-old him would not have survived raising Reilly.
When he complained to Layla, she told him Reilly was nowhere near as bad as he had been, but she tended to be biased towards her grandchildren.
Logan looked up from the newspaper he'd been pretending to read in the hopes that Hunapo wouldn't make him clean the high chair. "Yeah, sure, what's up?"
"You… and Eddie, huh?"
He raised an eyebrow. "What about us?"
Hunapo played with their hands, sitting down next to him. "You've always been close, right?"
Logan thought about it. Until recently, yeah, they had. Best friends. Like brothers. But Eduard seemed to be avoiding him now. Had ever since the engagement. Logan didn't know what he'd done, but he remembered the last time it had happened.
"Do you… like him?"
"Course I do. He's my best friend."
"No, I mean, you know, romantically speaking?"
Logan blinked. "I, uh…"
"It's okay if you do. I'm not gonna get jealous about it. I just wanna know."
He pushed his hand through his hair. "Look, okay, we're married now, I should be honest. Yeah. I do sort of have… feelings for him. Kind of. Somewhere."
Hunapo raised their eyebrows.
"Fine, I've been in love with him since I was twelve. I thought he was straight for years so I never brought it up, and I only found out he wasn't because his shitty boyfriend outed him, and then when they broke up I couldn't say anything because he was taking a break from relationships- I mean, you can't blame him, Gunner was a real asshole- and by the time he was ready, bang, Lou's in the picture. But none of that matters. Like, you're my spouse, you don't have anything to worry about. You come first, always. I mean, he doesn't even feel the same way."
"He knows?"
"Well. Not exactly. But he probably would have said something by now."
"Eduard would have said something? Same Eduard who sprained his wrist and didn't tell anyone until your mum noticed? That Eduard?"
"You… you make a fair point."
"And also the Eduard who left our wedding without saying goodbye?"
"Most people dislike going to weddings straight after a breakup."
"They broke up in October."
"After being a thing for almost three years," Logan pointed out.
"And you're his best friend. And he left without a word. Put two and two together, babe."
"He's… distant, sometimes. He gets sad, he isolates himself, it's nothing personal. He's been bad lately. Since… oh, fuck. Since we got engaged."
"See?"
"Well- I mean- so what if he does like me back? You're the one I married. I'm obviously not gonna do anything. I mean…" He gestured at them and Reilly.
Hunapo laughed and kissed his cheek. "It's fine with me if you do."
"Wait, really?"
"Course. I'm not the jealous type, you know that. And, hey, maybe I fancy him a little myself."
Logan's eyebrows shot up. "How much dick do you need?"
"A constant supply. And he's nice."
"He is nice. Do you think we hurt him?"
"That's not our fault."
"Yeah, but… yeah, you're right. Still kinda feel bad."
"Yeah, me too. But it's fine. I mean, how were we to know?"
He nodded. "I really missed him. So, you think the three of us could be a thing? If he was cool with that."
Hunapo smiled, "I hope so."
"Is he actually gonna be down for this?"
Hunapo shrugged. "Man, I don't know. It's Ed. Who's to say?"
Logan nodded. "Mr Sexual Repression himself. He got more action with his hand in uni than I've had with people my whole life."
"Didn't he have a girlfriend for most of it?"
"Yeah, but he's awful at initiating anything. Like I said. Mr Sexual Repression. You'd get it if you met his parents."
"I'm not sure I wanna, from what you told me," Hunapo sipped their milkshake, stroking Reilly in their pushchair. Both parents were praying Reilly wouldn't decide to projectile vomit all over the nice cafe they'd gone to. Again. Every time they went out, as if on cue, Reilly would either vomit, poop everywhere, or scream the place down.
"I'm not sure you do either. Eddie cut them off for a reason."
Hunapo nodded and glanced down at their shake. "Sounds like a fun upbringing."
"Yeah, spent as much time as he could round ours. Not that I minded, of course. Speaking of, hey Eddie!" He spied Eduard from across the cafe and waved. Eduard gave a simple nod back, making his way towards them.
"Afternoon," he mumbled, "what's up?"
Logan smiled at him. "Not much, just wanna catch up. Busy?"
"Oh? Yeah- yeah very busy. With work. Lots of work." He pulled up a chair. "Sorry for not… calling, or texting or anything."
Logan smiled a rather sad smile at that. "It happens. Glad to catch up now. So, how have you been? How's life and stuff?" Hunapo raised an eyebrow at him.
"Good, good. Work's going great. How's, uh… marriage?"
"Great." Logan remembered him leaving the wedding early. Maybe he shouldn't get into it, no matter how much he wanted to take the opportunity to shower Huna in praise. "We've got routine and everything, it's wild."
"If he snores too loudly," he confided to Huna, "Just flick him in the face until he stops."
"I think," Logan pointed out, "That can be construed as "waking me up"."
"Stops you snoring, though."
"That it does."
"By the way-" Eduard wiped his glasses on his cardigan. "-uh, I've started seeing someone. In a romantic way."
Logan and Hunapo exchanged a quick look.
"Have you, now?" Logan forced a cheeky grin. "Do tell."
"Uh… well, he's a… he's a guy. Cop. He lives not far from me, and, uh…"
Logan couldn't help but worry. He may have been awkward, but surely he was capable of telling him about his new boyfriend without all the stammering. He hadn't been like this with Lyubov.
"It's Gunner."
Logan dropped his fork on the floor, too stunned to bother picking it up again.
Hunapo blinked. "Sorry, what?"
Logan was a little less polite about it. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
"I know, I know, but… hear me out, okay? He's different now. He's better."
"Are you fucking nuts?"
Hunapo rested their hand on Logan's arm. Better they all avoided making a scene. "Are you… sure?"
Eduard frowned. "Come on, don't… don't worry about it. He's better. He's… good. We met a little after I moved into the flat. I had no idea, but he was living right there all this time."
Logan and Hunapo exchanged glances. "Yeah, what a coincidence."
"And obviously," he continued, "I was a little wary at first, for… obvious reasons. But he's nice . He bakes. He brought me pastries."
Logan sighed and stirred his coffee. "Bad people can bake."
"He's not a bad person. He did bad things, and then he changed. Can you just trust me on this, man?"
"It's not you I don't trust, it's him . I mean, can you honestly say you trust him after what he did? Can you say you feel comfortable around him?"
"Well, if I didn't, would I be moving in with him?"
Logan didn't think it was possible to be more terrified. There were a lot of things Eduard had done just because Gunner had told him to. "Yes!"
Hunapo glanced between the two nervously. Eduard glared at them both, lips tightening when Hunapo put a hand on Logan's arm to calm him. "Well you're wrong! Please, can't you just be happy for me? Things are going well for me and it might not look perfect, but we can't all have a perfect life."
Logan blinked. Right, the jealousy. If Gunner found out about that, he was scared to think of what could happen to Eduard. "Ed-"
"He's changed, and it's good enough for me." With a final scowl, he got up and left without ordering, leaving Logan and Hunapo in stunned silence.
"Maybe he has changed?" Hunapo reasoned, holding Reilly close and burping them. They bounced them softly when the baby showed signs of crying, and - the moment they seemed on the verge of sleep - put them down so they could argue in peace. Logan didn't look too keen on peace, though. He paced the nursery, hands behind his back, storms in his eyes.
"Can you at least take your shoes off if you're gonna walk all over the carpet?" said Hunapo when he didn't reply.
He kicked them off. They hit the wall one by one. Reilly whined. "You weren't there last time Gunner was around. He's a monster."
"People change. I mean, they were what, 17, when they broke up? He's an adult now. He's probably grown up and learnt how to be in an adult relationship."
"He forced him into sleeping with him, Huna! You can't just come back from that!"
"I- okay, yeah, maybe he forgave him too quickly. But he might not be in as much danger as you think, babe."
"You didn't see him! You didn't see what he did to him!" Logan ran his hand through his hair. "He wouldn't talk to me. He wasn't… allowed to talk to me, or anyone, or have a life outside Gunner and his parents. You know, his shitty, emotionally abusive, straight-up neglectful parents? Poor guy was caught between these three monsters and trapped. When he and Lyubov started dating, he was so fucking scared. He thought he'd fuck it up, or… I don't know. Get hurt and abused again. But I was there . I saw what happened to him. Gunner really fucked him up, Huna."
They grabbed him by the shirt and gently dragged him out before he woke up Reilly. "I know. And… and I know he's done some awful things. But Ed's a grown man, Logan, capable of making his own decisions. If he thinks he's changed-"
"If he thinks he's changed, he's being jerked around, and if Gunner thinks he's gonna get away with it, he's a dead man."
"All I'm saying is… have a little faith in Eddie. Okay? He's a smart man. He can look after himself."
"That's not the problem! Gunner has a lotta power over him!"
"Had. He had a lotta power over Eddie as a kid, but he's an adult now. He's less naive. He knows what to look out for!"
"So, what? You're saying this is a good thing? That we just let that cunt back into his life?"
"Yes. No." They pinched the bridge of their nose. "I don't know. But I want to believe he's changed. The alternative is kind of… too scary to think about."
"Well, fucking think about it! You have to think about it! I can't not think about it!"
Hunapo bit their lip. "Is there anything we can do about it, though?"
"Kill Gunner and hide the body," said Logan immediately, like he'd already thought the whole plan through.
"What? No! He's a cop; you think you can get away with something like that? Or… that Eduard would forgive you?"
Logan rolled his eyes. "Killjoy."
"You can't murder anyone. Or do anything to get yourself arrested. Please."
"But what do I do ?" Logan ran his hands through his hair.
Hunapo looked at the ground. "I don't know. I don't think there's anything we can do, and it scares me, so… we just gotta keep him in our lives, look out for him. But, ultimately? There's nothing else. I'm sorry, Logie, I know this means a lot to you."
"Course it fucking does. He's my best friend, and he's gonna get hurt." His face crumpled. "He might die."
"He's not going to die."
"But he could!"
"Yeah, him and everyone. Gunner isn't going to kill him."
"I really don't want to take that chance."
"Look," said Eduard, straightening out Gunner's collar, "if you want to convince Logan you've changed, you're gonna have to spend time with him, get him to like you."
Gunner nodded, but he didn't look too happy about it. They'd had this conversation several times now, but this was the longest one so far, and the five minutes spent going back and forth in the hall were making them late.
"Come on, babe, you've been putting this off for months. I can't keep making excuses for you. It's not making you look good," Eduard pouted, "it'd make me really, really happy."
Gunner gave a whine. "But he scares me. I'm not comfortable around him. He tried to kill me."
"You deserved it," said Eduard bluntly, though his heart spiked. That was the first time either of them had mentioned that . "You hit first."
He sighed. "I guess, but- man, I don't like him."
"Well, he doesn't like you either, and we need to change that. Dinner together will help that. I'm sure you'll get along if you give him a chance, you've got loads in common."
Gunner rolled his eyes. "Fine, but you owe me one."
That stopped Eduard. Where had he heard that before? "I don't owe you for making an effort with my friends," he replied shakily, "we aren't doing this. You don't 'owe' things in a relationship. But if that's how you feel, I can go alone." He turned to leave, but Gunner grabbed his wrist, yanking him back and slamming him against the wall.
"No! Don't go without me!" It hurt. Gunner's nails were digging into his skin.
"Okay, okay, I won't. I'm sorry." He tried to prize him off, scratching at his hand, but he held firm. "Let go."
Gunner dropped his hand like it was burning hot and stepped back. "Fuck. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
"It's okay." Eduard rubbed his wrist. Jesus, he was like a living, breathing, clamp.
"I didn't mean it." He hugged Eduard and buried his face in his shoulder. "I'll go to your thing. I'm sorry."
"Gunner, I-"
"I don't know my own strength." He pulled away. "It was an accident. I won't do it again."
Eduard sighed. "Do you promise?"
"Yes, swear on my life! It's not gonna happen again. Sorry."
"Fine, fine, I just- can I go to the bathroom, quickly, before we go?" He wasn't going to cry, but he needed to stop trembling or Logan would get suspicious.
"Go ahead."
Eduard rushed upstairs. It wasn't until he turned on the tap to get himself some water that he saw his wrist- red and covered in marks. Maybe he needed to put on a jumper.
It was actually Hunapo that noticed.
Logan and Gunner were doing most of the talking at dinner - or rather, Logan was interrogating him - leaving Eduard and Hunapo to mostly watch from the sidelines and make sure Logan didn't punch him while Harry ate her food and looked bored about the whole thing. They'd started off mostly sure they were right about Gunner. Eduard seemed okay with him. He didn't strike them as scared at all.
But then his sleeve rode up as he was eating.
They said nothing as Eduard pulled at it. They acted casual, wiping Reilly's face to keep their eyes from drifting to his hand for a closer look. One glance towards Logan confirmed he'd seen nothing as he served dinner, and maybe that was best, for now. They could talk about it afterwards, and find a way to help Eduard and get him outta there.
There was no telling how badly things would go if they brought it up over dinner.
"I take it all back," Hunapo muttered, leaning against Logan as they washed dishes together. Behind them, Harry was teaching Reilly how to wrestle.
"Girls, no!" Logan prized them apart. "Come on, Harry, I told you: Reilly has little bones! They break easy! You have to be gentle with her."
Harry nodded, stooping down to give Reilly a hug. "Sorry, Rukka." Reilly dribbled on her in response.
"Now go play nicely," Hunapo told them, and Harry carried Reilly off into her room. Logan turned back to them.
"What do you take back?"
"Everything about Gunner and Ed. All of it."
"How come? I mean, you should. Gunner's awful; even Harry seems to remember. But why?"
"Did you see Ed's wrist?" Hunapo gestured in the general area. "Bruised. I don't trust that."
Logan almost dropped the plate he was washing. "I'm gonna kill him."
"Logan-"
"No, I'm gonna kill him and I'm not gonna do it quickly."
Hunapo rubbed his arm. "Babe, we can't just… kill him. We should call the cops, or something, or-"
"He is the cops! And, chances are, all his little cop buddies will protect him and make sure he can track Eddie down again."
"Even Eddie's cousin?"
"Tino's one guy. A good guy, who hates Gunner's guts, but Gunner has that slimy charm. He's good at getting people to like him."
Hunapo nodded, defeated. "Yeah. He bakes his fucking pastries."
"We have to kill him."
They touched his shoulder. "No, we really don't. There are other ways we can fix this."
"Like what?"
"Get him out of it."
"And if we can't?"
Hunapo didn't have an answer for that.
Eduard didn't bother planning another double date again; it didn't seem worth the fuss. As far as Gunner was concerned, he'd won them over, and there was nothing left to do. He did, however, not get in the way of Eduard seeing Logan, which was enough for Eduard to try and bury every little nagging doubt and worry. If Gunner was okay with him being friends with Logan, then that meant he'd changed for the better.
As he kept trying to explain to Logan when they did hang out.
Eduard flinched at the sound of screaming children, throwing themselves from soft wall to soft wall and occasionally into each other. Logan had had to pull Reilly away from something they'd found on the floor and tried to eat five times now. Eduard took a moment to thank Lyubov for using birth control all three years they'd dated.
Logan filled the kids up with pizza and sent them back into the caged, padded battlefield to get lost in the ballpit before handing Eduard his own greasy slice, eyes fixed on the tape around his glasses. "So," he began, "you gonna tell me who broke your glasses?"
Eduard winced. "No one. I sat on them when I was looking for them. Happens all the time."
"Not with you," he commented. "You're extra careful with your glasses. Always have been." Eduard got horribly anxious when he couldn't see. It made him feel powerless.
"We all have accidents." Eduard squirmed in his seat, loss of appetite only partially caused by the disgusting pizza.
Logan watched him closely. "You seem to be having a lotta accidents lately."
"It's like I can't see or something."
"But you can. That's why you wear glasses."
"I might need a new prescription."
Logan put his hand on Eduard's. "Eddie, is Gunner hurting you?"
"No," he replied quickly. Logan sighed.
"Would it… make Gunner more comfortable - you know - if I didn't come round as much?" Eduard nodded shyly, pulling his hand away. Not that Logan cared about Gunner's feelings; he just didn't want Eduard punished over it. "But we have to meet up regularly, still. Make sure you're not having any more… accidents."
Eduard looked at him in alarm, unable to breathe, but when Logan held his gaze, he just sighed and nodded.
He had a half hour or so of safety. Gunner had his friend over. Or his drug dealer. Or… whatever the hell Lars was.
"Where were you?"
"Out."
Gunner scowled. "You were out?"
Eduard nodded. "I had to go talk through some work stuff."
"You work from home."
"Yeah, but-"
"But?"
"I'm sorry."
Gunner glanced at Lars. If he thought anything of how he was talking to him, he didn't show it.
"We'll talk about this later. Get us some beers."
Eduard nodded and scuttled off to the kitchen and got them their bottles.
"These are too warm."
"Oh. Sorry."
"Get us some colder ones, you fucking idiot."
"We don't have any in the fridge, these were out on the counter."
"Well, whose fault is that?"
"I-I didn't know we had any."
"Yeah, 'cause you were out again when I bought them. Stop going out so much."
Eduard nodded. "Sorry. Do you want me to get you some more?"
"No, it's fine. Just get out of my fucking sight."
He didn't have to tell him twice. Eduard hid himself in the bathroom and waited for Lars to leave so he could get the being-knocked-around part over and done with. He could hear their conversation if he was quiet- or at least, he could hear Gunner's side of it. Lars had a softer voice.
"Fucking idiot," he laughed, "He's useless, I swear. I'm too forgiving with him. Anyway. What do I owe you?"
While Lars told him, Eduard sank onto the toilet seat and breathed. He was right. He was an idiot. He deserved whatever Gunner had coming for him.
"Oh, come on, that's a ripoff. Not even a discount for your poor old pal?"
Eduard knew for a fact that it'd come out of his money. Gunner knew his PIN. Gunner was a spider, with a web that spanned Eduard's entire life. Every little secret exposed, and every escape route blocked off.
"What if I make it worth your while, huh?"
It wouldn't be the first time.
"Oh, come on, like that little whore has room to talk! Where d'ya think he was? He won't mind!"
It was more like Eduard didn't have the energy to care anymore. Lars could have him.
When Gunner found him, he barely resisted: threw his hands in front of his face, shuffled away to hide behind the sink. It was enough to make sure Gunner didn't stop after the one punch.
It was a slow process, but by the time Reilly was 3, Eduard had been beaten, guilted and manipulated into cutting Logan out of his life. At least Hunapo was allowed to visit. On occasion.
"That's one big bruise you got there," Gunner commented one day, sat on the sofa, drinking a beer. "Logan do that? Nasty guy, isn't he?"
Hunapo glared at him, scratching their leg with a trainer. "It was one of the kids at work. Being a rugby coach is rough and children are rougher than they look. And they love tackling me."
Gunner nodded, not taking his eyes off them, daring them to ask about the purple bruises - almost handprints - on Eduard's throat, just above the hem of his turtleneck. Hunapo held his gaze until he looked away, then turned back to Eduard.
"What do you want to borrow this time?" he asked.
Hunapo glanced at his shelf. Over the years, he'd built up a DVD collection to be proud of: special editions, director's cuts, all with his figurines and other nerdy merchandise woven in. Eduard wasn't a materialistic person, but he had his prized possessions. He loved his collection, and his keyboard, and the computer he'd built himself, as if they were his kids.
"Gladiator?" they asked, letting Eduard take the DVD off the shelf for them. He got irritable when anyone touched his collection. "I like a bit of Russell Crowe."
"He's handsome," Eduard agreed, handing Hunapo the DVD. "But remember, if you lose it, or you break it, I kill you." Hunapo could never tell if he was joking or not.
"Don't worry. I'll take care of her for you."
"You said that about The Matrix ."
"And I'll have it back to you the second I find it, swear to god."
Eduard gave them a stern look. "I can't believe I'm letting you borrow anything else."
"It's because we're friends, and film brethren. And I won't lose this one, I promise!"
It was a few hours of safety.
Gunner was fucking Lars, again, over at his place like it made a difference. It meant he had the bed to himself, maybe for the whole night. He could catch up on sleep and not worry about anything. For now.
He wondered if Gunner had ever hurt Lars, or was he just special. Easy to bully. Lars had a choice, though. He was choosing to stay in Gunner's life, and Eduard doubted it was from self-esteem issues. Maybe he just liked that he bought weed off him.
He wrapped the duvet around him, scratched and picked at his arm, but his skin still crawled. It was hard to find peace here, in this bed. It was Gunner's favourite place to hurt him. And he didn't even see it that way: not hurting, just taking what he was owed.
He heard the door open, and shut his eyes tightly. So much for getting sleep.
Gunner staggered into the room, not bothering to be quiet. That usually meant trouble for Eduard. He continued to fake sleep. It never worked, but his body couldn't not do anything to defend himself.
Gunner ran a hand over his thigh.
"Not working late, huh?" he slurred in his ear, "what- what a coincidence. Though you'd get the bed to yourself?"
Please, please not tonight. He'd already been with Lars; was that not enough for him?
A wandering hand proved otherwise.
"Nice to see you waiting here for me." He kissed his neck. "Come on, I know you're pretending. It hurts me, when you ignore me. Avoid me. D'you not like me?"
"Gunner, please, I'm tired."
"Not what I asked." He fiddled with the buckle of his belt, then the waist of Eduard's trousers.
"Please-"
"You're my boyfriend; it's what you do. Now shhh. Just lie down."
The fact that Eduard was sobbing, burying his face in the pillow, in pain , it didn't matter to Gunner. The fingers grabbing at his hair matched the feeling of cockroaches on his arms. He'd long since learnt to give up on fighting back. It was easier to do this without the bruises.
And when it was over, he made sure to keep his crying as silent as possible.
"He's not looking good, not last time I checked," Hunapo confessed, glancing around to make sure that bastard wasn't listening in. After dropping Reilly and Harry off for their first day of the new school year, they'd decided to pop round and check on Eduard, having not heard from him for two weeks or so. Gunner's flat wasn't even in sight yet, but Hunapo didn't trust him to not be sneaking around. He put them on edge.
They heard Logan sigh on the other end of the line. "Huna, what are we gonna do?"
"I don't know, Logie. I can't talk to him without Gunner being there; we can't just bust him out without Gunner retaliating, and presumably getting us arrested; and I really don't know what calling the police would do. Maybe we should talk to Tino."
"Yeah, he should know. He's just as reckless as me, though. And he really, really cares about Eddie. Maybe we can both kill him."
"Nobody's doing any murder."
"Spoilsport. No one would miss him."
"No murder! Do you want Reilly and Harry growing up without a parent?"
"No, but I want Eddie to be safe."
"So do I. We'll think of something that doesn't involve committing crime. Or, at least, a crime that isn't as bad as murder. If you end up punching him a couple times, I'm not gonna stop you."
"I would be physically unable to stop myself."
"Pity. Look, I gotta go. Talk to you later. Love you."
"Love you too." He hung up.
Hunapo rang the doorbell, stepping inside the moment Eduard opened the door, before he could make any excuses to not let them in. "Eddie! Long time no see! How are you?"
He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to discreetly clutch his stomach. "Fine. Why are you here? DVDs?"
They smiled brightly. "Can't I pop round to see my friend?" Eduard shrugged.
Hunapo had always pinned Eduard as a very well-dressed man. He liked looking smart, even when he had nowhere to go. He had more button ups than Hunapo had clothes in total. But now he was in a baggy jumper, the only effort put into his appearance apparently being to cover his skin. Of course.
"You don't look so good, bro," they said, "didn't think you could get paler, but… when was the last time you went outside?"
"Just now when I let you in."
They rolled their eyes. "And before that?"
Eduard shrugged. "How's Logan? And the girls?"
"Good, good, back at school." Eduard blinked at that, like he couldn't believe it was September already. "Oh, and about the 'girls' thing, Reilly told us they're agender too. I don't know if they're just copying me or not, but we're respecting them. They really got upset at the idea of growing up into a girl, though."
"Oh, err, good for… them?"
"Them, yeah. How's work?"
Another shrug. "I… mostly work from home now. It's easier."
They nodded. No need to pry further. "Gunner home?"
"No, he's at work."
Hunapo nodded. So they were safe to stay for a bit.
"Coffee?"
"Yes please." They wandered into the sitting room. It was decidedly barer than they remembered, and it took a moment for them to realise why. "Where's your collection?" They wheeled round once they'd taken in the empty shelf, staring at their friend in horror.
Eduard couldn't even bring himself to shrug, barely twitching his shoulders. "It was taking up room, and we needed the money, and I could just download things I want to watch instead of being old-fashioned." His eyes bore holes in the empty shelf for a moment. He looked a little dead behind his glasses.
Shaking himself out of it, he disappeared into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee and get away from Hunapo before they got too invasive. They didn't seem to notice, following him in anyway.
"You're a mess," they commented, sitting on the counter and putting their hands on their knees. "Gunner's really knocking you about, huh?"
Eduard flinched. "It's not like that. He- I tripped. Fell down the stairs."
"That how you cracked your ribs?"
He nodded. "I'm- I'm clumsy."
"That what he told you to say?"
He acted like he hadn't heard them.
"Eddie, please, I'm scared for you. We all are!" He shrank back at the noise.
"Huna, I'm fine. You should… you should probably go."
"I'm not going anywhere."
He handed them their coffee. "I don't need help."
"Have you even gone to the hospital for that rib?"
"My rib is fine." Eduard just wanted them to drink the coffee and go.
"Why are you clutching it, then?"
"I banged it on the door handle, just before you got here."
"He really got you throwing out excuses on autopilot, huh?" Hunapo sipped their coffee, noticing Eduard didn't make one for himself. Had Gunner ruined his favourite drink for him too? They noticed red blotches on his pale white hands.
"It's not an excuse."
"Eddie, please talk to me."
"I'm fine, really!"
"You're not. And I'm not sure I'm comfortable leaving you here. With him. He's killing you, bit by bit."
"I'm alive. I'm perfectly alive. Stop fussing over me."
Hunapo slid off the counter and put a hand on his arm.
"Get the fuck off me!" He leapt back from Hunapo, like they were about to maul him. His eyes were wide, chest heaving despite the pain. Then there was the fear. "Sorry! I'm sorry! I-I didn't-"
"It's okay. It's okay." Hunapo tried to smile. "Just let me get you outta here. Gunner's broken you down into this… this shadow. It's terrifying."
"I'm not a shadow. We're fine. He's a good guy, he's just..."
"Just?"
"I don't know. But you should probably go now. Sorry."
They necked the last of their coffee. "It's okay."
"Sorry about the DVDs as well. I can send you the link to the place I download from if you want, it's dodgy but it's not malware."
"Nah, I'll figure it out myself. Thanks, though."
Hunapo didn't want to leave Eduard, and Eduard didn't want to be alone, but it was inevitable. After one last attempt to convince him to leave, he saw them out. Eduard closed the door and collapsed against it, trying to calm his trembling hands. He'd blown it. The last person he'd been allowed to see, and he'd upset them with his stupid fear and cowardice. Hunapo wouldn't come back now. They'd probably given up on him now, and wouldn't bother visiting again.
"So we're all in agreement, then?" Logan glanced from Hunapo to Tino to Lyubov and received three nods in reply. "We gotta get him outta that house and away from Gunner."
"He's just… sucking the life outta him," Hunapo sighed, "all the humour and personality. He's not allowed a film collection anymore. It's crazy."
Lyubov nodded. "Music too. I went round to duet with him, and all he told me was that they'd sold the keyboard before he shut the door on me. I don't think he's allowed to see me either."
"Guess I'm only allowed round cause we work together," growled Tino, "fucking hate the guy. Getting everyone else at the station to agree is a long process, though." He kicked one of Reilly's toys in frustration.
Hunapo scratched their chin. "What if we went over with hidden cameras, got Eddie out and told Gunner we know what he's been doing. You know, make him flip out on us, and posted it online. That way there's no covering up?"
"Maybe," said Tino, "but it's illegal to film someone without their permission. Not as illegal as beating the fuck outta your spouse, though, so go for it."
"It sounds risky," Lyubov piped up, "what if it goes wrong and Gunner hurts Eddie? What if we can't get him out of there? What if he's been completely brainwashed by him?"
Logan winced at that. "But what choice do we have? Should we just leave him there, under that cunt's spell, getting beaten time and time again until it's too late? We have to act! Please ! We can't lose him!"
Tino nodded. "You're right. We'll need time to plan properly, but I'm done waiting. We're going to save Eddie."
Gunner's mum was actually nice. She seemed to really like Eduard, think he was good for her son.
Her one flaw, though, was that she refused to see Gunner's own ones.
It had been a while since Eduard had gone outside, since Gunner had taken him on an actual honest-to-God date, and it threw him. Had he gone back to pretending he was sorry for his behaviour? Or was this some new, twisted way to hurt him?
Eduard had paid, of course. The restaurant looked too expensive for his budget, but it gave him an excuse to work late and earn the money back.
Gunner's entire family was here, it seemed. Besides his dad, of course. Not that Eduard would dare point it out. He was starting to think the man had the right idea after all. But what was Gunner playing at? There had to be some other motive here. He'd avoided hitting Eduard in the face for a month now, so he'd planned this well in advance.
Gunner stood up, tapping his glass and waiting for the chatter to simmer down. Next to him, Eduard's stomach sank.
"My wonderful family," he began, "I've gathered you here today to let you know how happy I am, thanks to this wonderful man here." He gestured at Eduard. He couldn't remember the last time Gunner had referred to him in a positive manner beyond tight. Fuckable. He was scared.
"And that's why, I'd like to ask a very important question." Gunner got down on one knee and pulled out a box. "Eddie, will you be my husband?"
Eduard stopped working. The whole family was staring at him with bright smiles. The people at the tables next to them were glancing over curiously. It seemed the whole restaurant was staring at him. Waiting. Judging him for taking so long. A few of them were filming, Gunner's mother included.
Once again, 'no' was not going to be an option for him.
He nodded sheepishly, and tried to look happy. "Yes, yes of course!" He didn't sound too flat, did he?
People clapped. Eduard plastered a smile across his face. He was making an effort. It would be rude of him to ruin it.
Gunner wrapped his arms around him, jamming the ring onto his finger. Did he pay for that too? He kissed his cheek, and Eduard had to use every shred of resolve to not throw up in his mouth.
So this was it. He was trapped with Gunner forever now.
Eduard didn't even look at his black eye in the mirror, focusing on mustering up the strength to brush his teeth. Apparently he'd been avoiding him for too long, and it made him mad. It was a delicate balance, working into the early hours of the morning and sleeping in his office for as long as he could, and not making Gunner suspicious.
He'd miscalculated, and made Gunner suspicious. Idiot.
He brushed his teeth, and checked his phone like the morning paper.
Voicemails from Logan always scared him. It always meant trouble, having to choose between ignoring him and taking a beating. But Gunner was at work. He could risk it, right?
It was a few hours old, accompanied by 10 missed calls. He pressed play.
"Eddie, Eddie? Ed, oh God, please answer!"
Eduard's hands were shaking; he'd never heard Logan this distressed before.
"It's Huna and Reilly! There was a crash and- oh God- Huna's…. They're… they're- fucking hell. Reilly's holding on but it doesn't look good. I'm at the hospital now! If you get this I… Jem's looking after Harry and I… I can't be alone right now. Please, Eddie, you're my best friend. Please. I miss you. Please pick up."
A cold chill washed over Eduard. For a good five minutes, as he replayed the message over and over, his brain refused to process it.
Then it hit him like a brick the the face, and he thought he would be sick. Then he thought he would cry. In the end, he did neither, pulling on the first clothes he could grab and bolting out of the house.
Logan Sr was outside the hospital to greet him, grim-faced and looking tired, and for once, older than his years. He hugged Eduard as soon as he saw them, and the barrier broke. Eduard was sobbing on his father's shoulder, and he was certain Logan Sr was doing the same. Neither spoke for a long while, could've been hours, just crying outside the hospital, ignoring everyone around them.
"So it's true, then." Not a question. No answer needed.
Logan Sr nodded, and broke down again. Eduard rubbed his back. Huna was dead. He didn't want to believe it, and on some level, he still didn't. Hunapo was a good friend, but he couldn't even begin to imagine how Logan was feeling.
"And Reilly?"
"Still holding on," said Logan Sr, "they're a tough little kid, but it could go either way."
"Where is he?"
"Logan?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry I couldn't get here earlier, I-"
Logan Sr waved his hand, "doesn't matter, my boy. You're here now, and I know Loggie really needs to see you right now." Eduard let himself be lead inside, Logan Sr wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He lead him through painfully bright corridors, past rushing medical staff, and considerably slower patients.
Layla and Logan were by Reilly's side, both inconsolable, clinging to each other with blotchy faces and puffy eyes.
Eduard couldn't conceal a gasp at the sight of Reilly. They'd always been the louder of Logan's children, more lively, always running about and getting into trouble. Meeting them had always made him appreciate just how good a baby Harry had been. Harry had never tried to put everything within reach in her mouth, or just make a dash towards a busy road. He'd always felt guilty for not being there, but Logan had Hunapo now.
He winced at that.
Reilly looked so small now. Broken. Their hair wasn't sticking up everywhere, and it was odd to see them so silent, almost frozen as they slept on. Their face was obscured by a bulky, plastic breathing tube; tubes and wires snaked in and out of their body; and they were purple with bruises.
When Layla saw him, she pulled him into a crushing hug. He tensed. She pulled away, looking concerned for a second, but there were bigger things to be concerned about. He knew she would bring it up eventually, though. Even after all this time, Layla was fiercely protective of him. When he was a kid, that was comforting. As he grew up, it was a little patronising. These days, he couldn't muster the energy to care either way.
"So glad you're here," she whispered.
"I'm sorry."
"We've been so worried about you."
"I'm sorry."
She gave him a sad smile.
"What- how did- how did it happen?"
Layla glanced at Logan to tell things himself. He didn't say a word, or even look up from Reilly.
"Drunk driver," she whimpered. "They… they didn't stand a chance."
Eduard had no idea what to say to that. He sat next to Logan and put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing slightly. He didn't respond.
Eduard felt so powerless. There was nothing he could say to help, nothing he could do. Hell, he was still reeling from it all, and, any time now, it would hit him for real. Hunapo was his friend. He cared about them so much and-
It hit him.
He was never going to see Hunapo again. Logan had lost his partner, maybe his child, and if Reilly survived, they'd be growing up without a parent.
He didn't realise he'd started crying until Logan put his arms around him. They held each other close, and even though being touched made his skin scream, he let Logan cling to him.
It was late. It must have been something like morning by now. Past midnight. It wasn't light out yet, but it was late. Logan was in bed, but he wouldn't be getting to sleep any time soon. He could always make himself pass out in places Eduard could barely conceive, but how he could properly get to sleep after all this, Eduard had no clue. The whole place was still. Just him and Jemima in the kitchen. The calm after the storm. All the chaos slipped away to leave calm.
And a whole other kind of fear.
He'd be asleep, hopefully. Or maybe not. Maybe he was waiting for him. Primed to pounce with accusations and insults and blows. He'd probably earned it anyway. Served him right for… whatever it is he'd done wrong this time. Talked to Logan? Left the house without permission?
"Crazy night," she muttered. Maybe to him, maybe to herself.
"Yeah." What more was there to say?
"They were pregnant again," said Jemima after a long moment, "gonna call this kid Max cause it was conceived in front of Fury Road."
Eduard winced. "Fuck. It just… it keeps getting worse."
"You're a good friend, you know. He deserves a friend like you. I think he needs one right about now."
"He has other friends."
"You aren't his other friends."
Eduard shrugged.
"He misses you. A lot."
"I'm just busy lately. Work. With the… computers. Code-y stuff."
"Ed, I'm not stupid."
"Didn't say you were."
She didn't go further into it. Maybe she could sense Eduard didn't want her to. Maybe she just didn't want any more depressing shit thrown on top of this evening. She didn't need to. Everyone knew. Nobody had asked about Eduard's black eye. Whatever excuse he'd come up with, they all knew it was a load of shit.
He'd seen how Layla looked at him, though. She wanted to help, but what could she do? He didn't want her to face Gunner, because she would. Then again, even though she was getting older, she could still probably take him on. But then he'd get in trouble.
She sat on the counter in silence. There wasn't a bed for him. There was the futon, but Jem was sleeping on it, and Reilly's bed, but that was a little on the made-for-a-small-child side. He couldn't stay all night. He had to go home at some point.
"Do you want me to check on him?" He was just making excuses now.
"He should be fine."
He gave Jemima a look.
"You know what I mean."
He nodded.
"Get yourself home, Eddie. You look tired."
He was overstaying his welcome. She was being polite about it, but he was. He got up and got his shoes on. Jemima almost hugged him at the door, but when he flinched she made do with an awkward handshake.
He shoved his hands into his pockets. "Will you look after him?"
"I'll try. Might need a hand though. I mean… he needs all the help he can get right about now."
Eduard nodded. He wouldn't be much help anyway. "I'll try."
He shuffled home, feeling like he was walking up the steps to his own execution.
He tried to ignore how his hands trembled as he fumbled with his keys. Please be asleep, please be asleep, please. He just wanted an easy time of it. He'd deal with Gunner's wrath in the morning. Please. Just let him be asleep.
He opened the door as quietly as possible, peering through the gloom. There was a dim glow coming from under the sitting room door, and his heart sank. He'd have to be extra quiet.
He closed the door as quietly as he could, sneaking towards the stairs.
"Eddie?"
He froze. Eduard's brain was torn between running and staying stock still.
"Eddie? You home?"
He didn't sound angry, but you could never tell with him.
Against all better judgement, he stepped away from the stairs and into the sitting room. He knew better than to keep him waiting.
Gunner was waiting for him, sprawled out on the sofa.
"So where did you get to, then?" he asked cheerily. It was a different kind of cheery to normal, one Eduard had learnt to identify, and dread. He was absolutely furious.
"Huna was in an accident," he admitted, "they didn't make it. Reilly's fighting for life at the hospital." Reilly had taken to Gunner about as well as Harry had, but Gunner didn't seem to loathe Hunapo like he did Logan. Maybe he would have sympathy. Show mercy. It was a good reason to break his unwritten rules, right?
"Oh, Eddie," he got up, looking upset, "oh that's terrible. I'm so sorry." He put his hands on Eduard's shoulders, and Eduard tried not to flinch. "I'm so, so sorry."
He punched him in the stomach.
"And so will you be," he whispered in his ear before picking him up by the hair and throwing him into the coffee table.
"H-hey, Eddie? How you holding up? I haven't got you in trouble, have I? Thought I'd give you an update. Reilly's still holding on. Doctors said they're not gonna walk again, but they're gonna pull through. Still have to stay in hospital for a few weeks, and then there's physio to do, but they're gonna be okay. I- I can't believe- I thought they were… Anyway, the funeral's on Wednesday; I'll send you the details. Please… I hope you'll be there. Huna thought the world of you… anyway, text back when you can. See ya."
Even if he could talk, Eduard would not have dared reply. As it were, he lay on his bed, unable to move as the voicemail played, trying not to cry at the sound of Gunner fiddling with his jeans and the swelling of his broken jaw. And the silent screaming of his broken ribs. Broken everything, it felt like.
Gunner listened to the voicemail with a snort. "That's enough of that."
Then he leaned over and blocked Logan's number.
Logan assumed the worst when he didn't hear from Eduard for the next few days, but there were bigger things on his mind. Worse things. Everything was a mess.
His bed felt so much bigger than it ever had. Like the sea. He lay on his side, facing the wall. Away from the empty space. Shrödinger's cat, right? If he didn't look, Huna was both there and not there. He resisted the temptation to turn and check. He could kid himself like that.
It was like that night, a couple weeks ago. They'd had some argument. Who cares what about? He'd lain down the same way. Shrödinger's cat. If he didn't turn around, Huna was both looking back at him ready to apologise and turning away the same way he was. He knew, of course, that they were as stubborn as he was. That really, what was the likelihood they were going to give in, especially when, really , if he was being honest with himself, which he wasn't, it was kind of Logan's fault?
It was like that. Except if he looked over his shoulder it was all real and they were gone. And if he stared at the wall, maybe they were looking back at him.
What had they even been arguing about?
The funeral was… whatever. It was a funeral. People in black. "I'm sorry for your loss." Even Harry not saying much, looking rather lonely without her baby sibling. What had he been expecting?
Well, for one thing, he'd been expecting Eduard.
He gave his eulogy. When he wrote it, he put in his jokes. Of course he did. Hunapo didn't want a serious eulogy. They all felt forced. They were just words. His dyslexia still fucked with the writing of it. And the memorising of it. And the reading of it. He would have improvised, but he needed something to hold onto. Either way, it was a shit eulogy. He looked out over the faces. Not an Eduard in sight. A thought came to him that made him trip up his words more than he already had.
Not him too.
Not him. He'd lost Hunapo, his spouse, his goddamn soulmate. He'd almost lost Reilly. He couldn't take losing him too.
But he feared he already had.
Again, really sorry about Gunner. And again, if you wanna pretend he's just some random guy, that's fine. I'm more or less seeing him as a random dickhead, rather than my sweet boy Denmark.