Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha created and own Mahou Sensei Negima!
Kinoko Nasu and Type Moon created and own Fate Grand Order.
DC Comics owns Batman, who was created by Bill Finger and perhaps Bob Kane.
I make no money whatsoever from writing any of this. Bummer!
UNEQUALLY RATIONAL AND EMOTIONAL- CARNIVAL PHANTASM REBORN.
Trademark Tics.
"Now, Nero-san," Negi Springfield said. "Since you're being animated by SHAFT this year, there's something you absolutely must learn to make it through development, but don't worry, we'll teach you all about it. Guys...?"
The others nodded, and so Negi, Akemi Homura, Mina Tepes, Kirisaki Chitoge, Itoshiki Nozomu, Senjougahara Hitagi, and Miyamae Kanako all began tilting their necks back slow and stylishly, over and over, while fitting sound effects 'ping!'-ed in the background.
"I see," Nero said far more quietly than her custom, pulling a chair up and beginning to take notes. "How many lessons shall it take us to reach the mastery of Zetsubou-da, then?"
What Happened to Us?
"Food, Furo, Futon," the salaryman droned the same three words as every other evening as he stumbled into his small house, leaving his shoes behind and handing his briefcase to his wife without even deigning her a look.
This evening, however, she had enough. "MC-Kun, what happened to us?"
With a supreme effort, he turned his haunted, dead glare back at her, his mouth curved downwards in supreme annoyance. He said nothing.
She still answered his unspoken question anyway. "Back when we were sixteen, things were so different! You were the lively idiot who'd happily plow through everything, and just laugh it off after I punched you through the ceiling! You'd blush whenever you walked into the bath while I was there, and not like I wanted to have ten years before you'd decide to save sex—!"
"— but you kept on punching me through the ceiling, every time—" the shell of a man said weakly.
"— but at least I could tell you were interested!" she kept on going. "What happened to those joyful days of slaying demon overlords, of winning school championships, of boke and tsukiomi routines?! What went wrong? Was it my fault? Yours? I swear I don't care anymore, MC-Kun, but at least we should find out so we can, maybe, undo it! So we can LIVE again!"
His bland, dead glare remained the same. "You've been reading too much manga, MC-Chan."
And the hero so further shuffled into his house, a pathetic leftover from long gone eras. "The boy," he asked. "Where's the boy?"
"You mean you haven't realized yet he's been in a two months long quest to hunt Digital Monsters by now?!" MC-Chan cried, choosing to leave the fact she'd only found out last night herself out of the question.
"Well," he said, stopping by as he realized neither the food, nor the furo, nor the futon, were ready yet, and so completely at a loss at what to do next, "I suppose we can't blame him, after leaving him alone two years while we worked overseas. Oh Kami," he exhaled, running a hand down his face. "I've become my father."
"And I've become my mother!" she cried desperately. "I told you we should've waited until he was thirteen, at least! Look at me while I'm talking to you, MC-Kun!"
"I can't, MC-Chan," he mechanically said. "Unlike all those times I looked at you, you still have your shirt on..."
She huffed indignantly, then reached for the buttons of her blouse.
He stopped her with a tired gesture of a hand, without looking back. "Won't work anymore anyway, they're all saggy now. We grew up, MC-Chan, that's all. The magic couldn't help but going away. It's useless trying to turn the clock back, you know that doesn't work even in the Akamatsuverse. But mostly, you stopped being a cute Type A Tsundere and became a sad mental case. Now please, my fucking food, my fucking furo, and my fucking futon!"
She wailed and shrieked to make Kugimiya Rie proud, and swiftly pulled the large knife out.
When the boy finally returned home, being an Idiot Hero himself, he somehow misunderstood the news about the murder-suicide as a deadly attack from the Demon Overlord and left to gather his party and avenge his parents before the neighbors could properly explain things over.
And so was how the world was saved from darkness. The boy still felt terribly bad after learning the truth long after the fact, however.
The Harshest Lesson.
"Well, girls," Shizuna-sensei told Class 2-A, "starting today you'll have a new homeroom teacher, replacing Takahata-sensei. who will be moving to teach Class 3-G..."
"Is that why Asuna's been catatonic all morning long? Did she already know that?" Fuuka asked.
Shizuna gave a sympathetic look at the stiff redhead in her seat and said, ",,, maybe. Anyway, he's a prodigy child..."
Ayaka tensed up, suddenly very interested.
"... polite, well read, a true gentleman, resourceful and intelligent..."
Ayaka began panting softly while those around her tried to discreetly edge away.
"So I trust you will be treating him with all the respect you'd be giving any other of us." Beat. "Far more, actually. You can come in now, Sensei!"
A small boy with glasses walked in, smiling. "Charmed to meet you! My name's Edogawa Conan, and I'll be your homeroom teacher starting today!"
The students looked at him in horror, then ran in a stampede for the door, screaming their heads off and begging the gods for their lives. A few of them, like Kaede and Chachamaru, took the easiest way out through the windows instead.
Conan-sensei blinked at the now empty classroom. "Um, well, yes, about this, Minamoto-sensei, is this standard— aw, nuts."
He'd just realized Shizuna was now on her face on the desk, with a large knife protuding from her back.
Following You Past the End of the World.
They appeared in Chaldea one day, marching through the main door and immediately swarming all over the location, unstoppable, relentless. They chanted "Bosses, bosses, yi kai yai yai! Alsre aca!" as they would seize on the Servants of darker inclinations to never let go of them, rubbing themselves affectionately against them, making even those with the most hardened black hearts cry in despair.
Gudako was at the cafeteria with around a dozen of the Servants when they broke in, waving their tiny yellow arms and happily exclaiming, "Alspolo to, yikai! Alsre act dos, yikai! Seep nos hep to, Masters!"
Gilgamesh paled hideously at the sight of the ever growing flood of diminutive, joyful yellow creatures, running towards them to greet them, still wearing their parkas and still covered on the mountains' snow. "It... It can't be!" he exclaimed. "You're still alive!?"
"Ope mud Heroes, yikai! Alsll hago a daga Babylon nunu to!" they chorused.
"Gah! Back away, you mindless dolts!" Gilgamesh threatened, summoning the Gate of Babylon and ready to unleash it on them, only to shriek in panic when he saw that only made even more yellow creatures to pour down from the Gate, all happily shouting as well.
"Alsre tu orakop mop, Gilgamesh!"
"NOOOOOOO!"
"Oh, shit, they came for me!" Blackbeard yelled, bolting up from his chair. "You'll never get me alive, you yellow flotsam, ha ha ha ha!" he madly proclaimed before leaping to throw himself out the window.
"Yo-ho-ho! Yo-ho-ho!" the tiny beings chanted, several of them jumping out after him. "Yee a gagugh mud rum!"
"Master, help us!" Carmilla shrieked as she and Vlad Tepes were quickly covered in adoring yellow critters swarming all over them. "This evil, it's, it's too great for us to handle!"
Gudako blinked. "What... What is going on here?" She gave bewildered looks to Andersen, who merely shrugged indifferently, Geronimo, who contemplated the situation with extreme seriousness, and Nightingale, who had just picked one of them up and was examining it carefully and up close, muttering something about its unhealthy skin tone. None of them seemed able to give an answer.
Shakespeare smirked widely, bringing his hands together. "I have no idea myself, Master, but I can see some potential for storytelling here. Perhaps a few frivolous motion pictures and comedic shorts at best, but they still could be economically fruitful..."
"Oh, they're just adorable...!" Marie Antoinette cooed, gathering as many of them in her arms as she could to hugh them tightly. "I want a few too, please don't monopolize them, Comte Tepes, Mademoiselle Carmilla, Monsieur Gil...!"
"Just take these awful things off me already, stupid bitch...!" Carmilla shrieked, only her arm protuding from under the mass of creatures.
"Certainly interesting, yes, indeed..." Caster Gilles smiled, crouching down to gesture at a few of them to come closer to him. "Come to me, little darlings. Let me see how your wonderful, unique conditions stand to a little... experimentation..."
The tiny beings he was calling for paused, gave him flat, disdainful looks, and then shook their hands at him, walking away.
"Alsdomo quer da be gad wat to."
"Yeah, alskaylay dexpie."
Gudako blinked. "What are they saying, I don't understand a single—"
"They just told him they don't want to be seen with him, and that they have standards as well," a dignified Artoria said from where she sat still enjoying her meal despite having to periodically swat a hand at the thingies trying to steal her banana. "Before that, they had offered Gilgamesh to help him rebuild Babylon, telling him they're his weapons too, and, well... They are Minions, Master. Through history, villains, unescrupolous conquerors, morally questionable rulers and other despicable riffraff have recruited them as loyal help for their schemes' completion. Isn't that right, Mordred?"
"I have no idea what are you talking about, Father," Mordred said from where she sat trying to avert her gaze, reduced to her shorts and skimpy top and badly trying to look innocent as scores of Minions swarmed over the bulky armor she had just left aside.
"Mordred! Mordred! Mordred, tulaliloo ti amo!"
"The Minions' nature," Artoria further explained, "is locating the current major villain at any given place and eagerly offering their services to them. They'll latch onto pretty much any villain, but for the most part, they'll always look to work for the greatest, most gruesome felon in their surroundings. Well, notable exceptions aside," she noted, looking at the sobbing Gilles who had retreated onto the only empty corner in the room.
"Um, okay, I understand," Gudako said, slowly getting up from the table and edging for her room before the newcomers could learn she technically was the ringleader of every villain currently residing in the facilities.
"MAAAASSSTERRRRRRR!" Carmilla yelled, trying to reach for her.
The Minions all over the cafeteria paused, looked at the frozen, terrified Gudako, and threw their arms up as one. "MAAAAAASSSSTERRRRRR!"
Gudako screamed and ran.
In the end, Chaldea simply ended up siccing them on Goetia. It never stood a chance.
A Fetish for Everyone.
Albireo's right eye glinted evilly in the shadows of his hood as he held three extra pieces of wardrobe up. "Let's add on nekomimi, glasses and sailor clothes..."
"Stop screwing around, freak!" Eva yelled.
"Oh! Oh! And fingerless gloves!" Haruna cooed. "Black and leathery, the dominatrix type! Perfect while holding a nine tails whip!"
"Why am I holding a nine tails whip?!" Evangeline screamed. "That's too soft to torture anyone with!"
"If we're talking about nekomimi, then adding a cat tail as well is a must..." Kobushi Abiru opined with a faint blush.
"A pink wig might look good on you..." Homura Akemi detachedly commented.
"The school swimsuit has the crotch area cut off!" Moroboshi Ataru drooled.
"Nice idea! I've got the scissors already!" Kitami Reika began snipping at the air.
"An' a colorful flower collar f'r the lil' wahine too!" the visiting Principal Kuno nodded eagerly, producing one out.
"Clown makeup!" the Joker cheered. "And you could have 'Damaged' tattooed on your forehead!"
"None of you imbeciles is supposed to show up in this scene!" Eva stomped her foot several times.
"... whatever you wear, could you wear it while aged up, Yukihime-sama?" Karin asked while Chachamaru glared hostilly at her.
"That goes extra double for you! And stop calling me that!" Evangeline shrieked, waving her arms up.
"A Piyo-Piyo apron!" Hyudou Issei held one up.
"Idiot, that would cover the hole in the crotch fabric!" Kitami glacially snarled his way.
"She could have the hole in the ass fabric instead!" Issei argued.
Kitami blinked, contemplated it for a moment, and nodded. "What do you know, you might be on something there..."
"Oh, screw you all, fuckers!" Evangeline roared.
"Hey, everyone, what's all the commotion abo—" Negi walked in, then had his jaw falling as he beheld a red-faced, extremely angry Eva being held by pretty much everyone in attendance, wearing a school swimsuit with the butt area cut off, with a sailor fuku blouse over it, plus cat ears and a tail, a collar of tropical flowers, a Piyo-Piyo apron, a pink wig that oddly reminded him of Kaname Madoka-san's hairtsyle, dominatrix gloves, and, for some reason, a piercing through the nose. Her face was caked in white makeup and she had 'Damaged' written on her forehead. A girl who was very similar to Kugimiya-san was currently struggling to feed her an age changing pill.
"Help... me..." Eva weakly, yet viciously, hissed at her student.
Chisame, who had just walked in as well, took a good look at the scene, frowned at the others, pulled a small pepper shaker out of her breast pocket, aimed Negi's face towards Evangeline, and sprayed a generous amount of pepper on his nose.
There were, after all, things even Evangeline didn't deserve.
How Low can you Fall?
Dick Grayson gasped in horror, watching how his parents fell from the damaged trapeze.
Bruce Wayne tightened his fists in impotence as he could do nothing but see the bodies hit the ground.
The audience fell into mute shock over the next few moments, and for an instant, not even a single breathing could be heard...
Then one of the men in the public shouted, "Hey! They weren't Flying Graysons after all! We were gypped! Refund! Refund!"
"REFUND! REFUND! REFUND!" the crowd began chanting angrily.
Sometimes Bruce wondered why he kept on protecting that city.
How Jurassic World Ruined Negi's Life.
"There was something your grandfather never got over," Mana narrated. "He would cry about it whenever he thought no one was looking. He never stopped despairing over not being able to do it..."
"To do what?" asked Touta. "To save that Princess Asuna girl, right?"
"No. To become a velociraptor trainer."
"Ah, so that's why he had 'I hate you, Chris Pratt!' written on his gravestone..."
The Bare Facts.
"How," Lucy Heartfilia asked all of a sudden, "did we ever come to this?"
The gathered Fairy Tail guild looked down at themselves to see, as a matter of fact, they all were naked now.
"We have all spent far too long around Gray," Erza soberly realized.
Baby OM's First Dangaronpa Ficlet.
"Hey there, howdy, hello! Is everyone here? Good! Then let's get things rolling! I... am... Monokuma! And I am this schoool's headmaster!" the small white and black bear grinned sadistically.
Vandal Savage, Yukihime, Discord, Father Garterbelt, Amaya, Garlick Junior, Fate Averruncus, Lobo, Konoe Touta, Doctor Manhattan, Yuuki Karin, Mr. Immortal from the Great Lakes Avengers, Hanagata Mitsurugi, Urashima Keitaro and Sakurame Kirie all looked at each other, confused, and shrugged their shoulders.
On hindsight, as it later would be revealed, perhaps it had been a bad idea selecting that team for a game of mutual destruction.
How Negi Lost his Virginity.
Misa.
As soon as he entered his bedroom, his eyes widened.
Misa was rising from the lower bunk, making sweet eyes at him, and slowly, sensuously saying, "Baaa-aaaaa..."
While wearing a sheep costume that covered all but her face and a carefully bared shoulder, wooly fabric hanging off it.
Negi's Welshman instincts, honed from untold generations of Welshmen, took over from there.
Makie.
"Oh!" Makie gasped. "I think his you-know-what is pressing against my you-know-what! And now... and now it's—!"
"I'm sorry!" Negi eeped.
"Wait, what the hell?!" Chisame screamed, backing away the wall of the stall. "I thought we were at Volume Nine by now! This is from Volume Seven! We can't go back like that! I protest! This is cheating! Who are we hiding from anyway?!"
Artoria.
"Fortunately," Rin tried to smile anyway, "you're a boy and Saber's a girl, so it'll work just fine, right? So it's not like there's a problem with it."
Shirou sighed. "Alright, I think I get it by now, so let's just get—" he said as he started pulling his jacket off.
Rin gestured at him to stop. "Actually, I was talking to him."
Negi pointed at himself. "M-Me?!"
Rin nodded. "You can supply Saber with so much more prana than Shirou, it's not even funny!"
"M-Me?!" Negi repeated, even more helplessly now.
"... I am perfectly okay with this," Saber decided after her pondering silence.
Shirou muttered, starting to pull the jacket back on. "Right, then. For once I'm not being subjected to the 'clueless moron' gag, and then this happens.. There's no way to wi—"
Rin stopped him again with another gesture. "Who said we don't need you as well?" she asked as she began pulling the red sweater up. "The more we pile up on Gilgamesh, all charged up, the better, right...?"
Somewhere else, Sakura shuddered. "What... What's this awful feeling I'm having...?"
Chisame.
"Good evening, Sensei, good evening, Chisame," Satomi said as she quickly walked in, grabbed a card from her nightstand, and then hurried out again. "I'd forgotten this, that's all, I'll be all night long at the lab, enjoy your first time. Good night, Sensei, good night, Chisame..."
The door slammed closed behind her, and Chisame sighed as she still kept Negi's face pressed down against the pillow. "Three... two... one..." she counted.
The door slammed open again, and Satomi exploded back in throwing her lab coat aside. "Your first time?! No, no, no, I refuse to let this slip away from my grasp! Sakurako will understand, I'm sure, because she'd do the same thing in my place!"
Matoi's annoyed head popped out from further down the mess of bedsheets, from where Chisame's legs had to be. "Okay. Whatever," she grumbled bitterly. "Just remember I was here first."
Madoka.
"I... I can explain!" Madoka gasped while Negi tried to hide his face in the bedsheets.
"Your first time, right?! No, no, no, I refuse to let this slip away from my grasp! Satomi-chan will understand, I'm sure, because she'd do the same thing in my place!" Sakurako said while vigorously pulling her blouse off.
Misa was livid even as she undressed as well. "I knew I should've tried my luck with the sheep costume...!"
Negi perked up without really knowing why. "Sheep?!"
Zazie.
"Okay," Chisame said, trying to keep herself philosophical about it, "I guess we should have expected this, anticlimactic as it is. Not only exactly because it's anticlimactic, but because, really, it's always the quiet ones."
"Poyo poyo poyo poyo. Poyo," a spaced, blissed out Zazie said, staring at the ceiling.
"I... I think I broke her, somehow...!" Negi sobbed into his hands.
Mikan.
"Okay, I have got neutral, good and bad news for you," Evangeline informed Rito. "The neutral news are, Boya lost his virginity earlier today. The good news are it wasn't with your girlfriend. The bad news are, well—"
Medusa.
As he panted and wheezed, resting on her back, a satisfied Rider pulled a notebook from the nightstand, opened it on a page marked 'Defloration Agenda', and crossed over the doodle of Negi crudely drawn by the similarly crossed off doodle of Ikari Shinji.
Homura.
"Akemi-san, please help me!" Negi broke into the room, closing the door behind him. "Makie and your wife started dressing me up, and I can't take it anymore! I don't like dressing up as a girl!"
Homura lowered her book, stared blankly at the nervous boy suited up in a perfect copy of Madoka's old Puella Magi costume, and something in her mind exploded, broke down and shattered into dust all at once.
Slowly, as the trickle of blood ran down her nose, she stood up on suddenly shaky legs. "O-Okay," she coolly said. "I, I think I can help you. First thing is getting you out, out of those clothes... as long as you leave the pink wig on..."
Yui.
Every last other girl in Mahora pointed at her and said, all at once, "KOTEGAWA! HOW INDECENT!"
Yui tilted her nose up and looked aside while hugging the bedsheet tighter against her chest. "I don't want to talk about this!"
Nero.
"Shirou?" Artoria asked. "Do you know why all girls in this school are suddenly chasing after me, threatening me, and asking about my 'boob job'? Because seriously, it is starting to grow tiresome..."
Ringo.
"Okay, I have got neutral, good and bad news for you," Evangeline informed Rito. "The neutral news are, Boya lost his virginity earlier today. The good news are it wasn't with your girlfriend. The bad news are, well—"
"Wow," Rito interrupted. "Deja vu!"
Medea.
"You should have paid me attention," Yuuna told her father, "when I told you she was called the Witch of Betrayal!"
Natsumi.
"Damn it, Murakami!" Ayaka bawled, the '-san' completely forgotten by now. "This is your way of getting revenge over being the last one told about Sensei's status as a mage, isn't it?! How petty! How cruel! How disproportionate!"
"Wait, wait, his status as a what now?!" Natsumi said.
Nodoka.
"I... I`'m so proud of you..." a deeply moved Haruna said, tears streaming down her eyes.
Nodoka smiled beautifully. "Thank you, Paru. That means a lot for me, really!"
"Not only Negi-kun's virginity, but Kotaro-kun's and Yue's as well!" Haruna sniffled, taking her glasses off to rub her eyes. Negi, Kotaro and Yue only shifted around awkwardly on the bed, while Nodoka remained sitting proudly on it. "You've surpassed all of my expectations! You're my new greatest heroine, far surpassing my Dad!"
"Ah, don't say that, Paru..." Nodoka laughed gently, rubbing the back of her own neck. "You'll make me blush, really..."
"So, can I join you guys now?" Haruna asked eagerly.
"... no," Nodoka said.
"I mean, Paru, seriously! You already have a boyfriend and a girlfriend! Cheating on them, how can you even think of that?"
"Yue's also Lala's—"
Nodoka stared at her through the bangs and that ended the conversation instantly.
Megumin.
"Ex-Ex-Explosion!" she cried during her climax.
BOOOOOOOOOM.
"Thank you, Sensei, because of you I dodged a bullet," was all of Kazuma's eulogy during the dual funeral.
Riko.
"Okay, I have got neutral, good and bad news for you," Evangeline informed Rito. "The neutral news are, Boya lost his virginity earlier today. The good news are it wasn't with your girlfriend. The bad news are, well, you really shouldn't have let Saotome and Deviluke make you and Boya drunk—"
Irisviel.
"Okay, I have got bad, good and awful news for you," Evangeline informed Illya. "The bad news are, Boya beat you to winning the Grail War while you were unconscious. Despite having no Servant. The good news are he somehow managed to revive your mother, who had been sacrificed to form the Holy Grail he purified. The awful news are, well, your brother is your stepfather now. Why does your mother keep stealing my men anyway? What did I ever do to that stupid cow!?"
Eiko.
"— and who are you anyway?" Chisame asked.
"Eiko of the Black Lillies! The academy's best dodgeball team!"
"Sorry, that still doesn't tell me anything."
"Well, it should! We were the first antagonists you had! We closed the first volume of your series before there was any Dark Evangel, Count Wilhelm, Fate, Tsukuyomi, Chao or Lifemaker! But this stupid reboot took that away from us and gave it to those 3-F skanks! Well, here's my revenge! What do you have to say about that, nerd?!"
"... if you wanted to avenge yourself on 3-F, shouldn't have you slept with Itoshiki-sensei? They literally couldn't care any less you deflowered Negi..."
"..." Eiko pouted. "Alright. You got me. I just happened to be horny, okay, happy now?"
Lois.
"I think I should check how Lois' doing covering that Japanese sports festival," Clark told himself before focusing his telescopic sight and super hearing all across the globe in a way that was no stalkery at all, no sir, honest. He just had to check on her regularly! Knowing Lois, before the day was over he'd have to fly over to save her from ninja armed with tentacles riding Kaiju. At least twice.
Then he gasped.
"This," Batman polite but firmly informed the figure he'd just found sitting miserably wrapped on his cape on his favorite rooftop gargoyle, "is my favorite brooding spot, Clark."
"I know. Now I understand why you do it, too. It doesn't make you feel any better, if anything just worse, and yet, it feels so right..."
Would You?
"You never talk about them, " Touta said, holding the group picture he had found in his latest mission.
"No, I don't, " Yukihime stated the obvious.
"Karin said you never mentioned her to anyone while she was away, either, " Touta mused, placing the photo on Yukihime's desk, where it remained ignored.
"I don't know how could she know that, since she wasn't around then... but no, I didn't."
"Do you ever think about them, even if you don't talk about—"
"I try not to."
There was a pause.
"Why?"
As most often was the case from Yukihime, he got no answer. That was why he had given up on asking on things, very early during their life together.
Still, he had to ask, just this time...
"Would you do the same thing about me, if I'm ever gone?"
"Don't be stupid. You're an immortal, you'll never—"
"Would you?" he repeated.
As most often was the case from Yukihime, he got no answer.
Touta turned around sharply and left the office.
So Yukihime remained sitting there.
Alone.
You're always saying people don't like you, but people can't like something that's not there.- Cath Crowley, A Little Wanting Song.
The Most Dreaded Team-Up.
Kyubey now looked at him managing to convey, somehow, an air of almost-respect despite his continued lack of expression. And he said, Well, I must admit, yours is certainly a most excellent, quick and efficient way to collect despair and grief, as long as certain factors like the Naegi boy aren't added. Would you care about a partnership that might prove being mutually benefical?
Monokuma's grin, if anything, only managed to grow even bigger. "I'm all ears..."
And so, the KyuKuma Seminar for Best Magical Girls was born.
Change of Eras.
"Oh dear!" he said, sincerely surprised. "It would seem I have made a mistake!"
He really had miscalculated the amount of explosives in the prank cigar, which was more annoying than anything, because even if he was goofy now, he still was a criminal mastermind, and being goofy didn't mean you had to commit goofy mistakes. Or boners. That thing with the boners hadn't gone well at all.
And yet, it had happened, and the henchman he had just given the cigar to had ended up with no face instead of a comically blackened face.
"Oh gee, I'm really sorry, Louie, I didn't mean..." he apologized to the body at his feet, in the hideout's quietness.
He hadn't actually killed a man since... a few years, right? It was even hard to remember how those times had been by now, although now he seemed to remember they had been weirdly enjoyable.
It had been before the brat, right...?
Slowly, while still looking down at the headless corpse, the Joker found himself grinning. Which was not strange at all, except because the grin was one he hadn't worn since back then.
He raised a gloved finger to his long chin and began tapping on it. "Now, why did I ever stop doing THIS...?" he wondered aloud.
And the old maniacal laughter, the chilling one, returned to him.
Clothes Optional.
As Juvia kept on wailing and howling hysterically, Makarov put down the letter he'd received from her and solemnly announced for the rest of the guild, "It seems... Gray has just left Fairy Tail for 'another place where he can be himself'..."
Mikisugi Aikuro looked at Gray's standing frame right before him and shook his head. "You know, I'm sorry, but it's really not going to work of you keep doing that..."
Gray stared down at his own body, which now was completely clothed under his black, skimpy Nudist Beach gear, and gasped in horror. "Ah! Sorry, I have no idea why this keeps on happening!"
Natsu Dragneel frowned at the black haired young man who had just dragged his feet back inside of the guild's bar. "What the hell? I thought you had said you were going to—"
Gray absently punched him in the face and dropped on a chair, reaching over for a bottle. "I don't want to talk about that, okay?!"
I Don't Understand!
"Why don't we ever eat mashed potatoes?" wondered Rin one fine lunch, after realizing something that had been sort of vaguely bugging her lately without her actually knowing why.
At the other side of the table, Saber suddenly stiffened and paused in her devouring, while Shirou shifted in place uncomfortably.
"I mean," Rin elaborated, "I sort of miss mashed potatoes. I used to eat them every now and then. Not that I'm complaning, but I wonder why, when we use to eat anything else at least every onc-"
"Saber... doesn't like mashed potatoes," Shirou feebly explained while Saber's face rested wrapped in still-not-too-dark shadows.
Rin blinked. "There's some foodstuff SABER DOESN'T LIKE?!"
The shadow subsided, and Saber just sighed. Softly, she answered, "It was because of our campaigns. Often, we would spend far too long in the wilderness, away from taverns and restaurants, and none of us Knights were trained on cooking. Only Gawain knew anything on the subject... and then, he only could cook mashed potatoes..." Her voice broke slightly, and then she exploded into tears, "AND HIS MASHED POTATOES WERE HORRIBLE! That was the worst part of being a king!"
"..." said Rin, before adding, "Saber. You couldn't possibly have eaten mashed potatoes."
The Servant frowned. "Are you mocking me, Rin?"
Rin slammed her bowl down. "Of course I'm not! You didn't even have any potatoes back then! Potatoes are originary from America, everyone knows that! What, the Grail didn't have any logs on potatoes!? Geez! You didn't even know America existed, so what's that nonsense about potatoes in your country anyway?!"
Saber recoiled, eyes wide, before snapping her fingers. "Shirou!"
"Hai!" the boy quickly sprang from his chair.
"Mashed potatoes!" the King commanded.
"Hai!" the boy quickly bolted for the kitchen.
While a perplexed Rin just sat in silence, Saber went back to swallowing huge mouthful after huge mouthful. Before she was done, Shirou quickly zoomed back with a plate. "Here, Saber!" he said.
"THAT WAS FAST!" Rin yelled, twintails standing in point.
"Thank you, Shir-" Saber looked dubiously at the new plate before her. "Are these mashed potatoes?"
Nod nod, went Shirou.
Saber looked quizzically at the plate's contents a second time, then looked at Rin.
Nod nod, Rin confirmed.
Saber raised an eyebrow slowly, warily took a small piece of mashed potato, took it to her mouth, touched it with the tip of her tongue...
And her eyes went huge and heart shaped, her ahoge rigid. Immediately, she started digging in gleefully.
Rin and Shirou only stared at her in absolute mutism.
"If I ever meet Gawain again," Saber took a moment to say between mouthfuls, "I will have to ask him for a few explanations."
So will I, and I was the one who wrote this thing in the first place.
A Danganronpa/Happy Tree Friends Crossover.
"- and that's basically it!" Monokuma finished his explanation, all mischievous glee. "I'm sure we'll have tons and tons of fun watching you trying... to..."
His voice trailed off into nothingness as he saw the mangled mass of gore and broken body parts that now was where his fellow cutesy animals (okay, he was a robot, same difference!) had stood when he started.
"There's such a thing as doing things too well, you know!" he yelled at the mangled bodies.
The Night of the Living 3-A.
"Hey, Yukihime!" Touta cheerily walked back in, followed by a nervous Santa, blank faced Karin, and a Kuromaru who carried a spiral eyed, twitching Kirie on his back while pushing a cart filled with assorted and groaning parts of Ikkuu. "You'll never guess what happened during our mission!"
"Let me guess," Yukihime said. "You ran into a necromancer who brought the dead all across the world back to life, spawning a terrifying zombie plague to spread her dark will and enact revenge against mankind. Didn't you?"
Touta blinked. "How did you know?"
She shrugged. "Just a hunch. By the way," she added, gesturing towards one of the many zombified women sharing the table and tea with her, "I want you to meet Konoe Konoka, your grandmother..."
You Didn't Think This Through.
PANEL ONE.
Arkham Asylum- Dinning Area. BLACK MASK and Mr. ZSASZ are sitting at a table, facing each other over lunch.
ZSASZ (Grinning perversely): ... and then, I cut myself to celebrate it. One scar for each of them. I have marked each of my murders that way!
BLACK MASK (Clearly unimpressed): Uh-huh.
PANEL TWO.
BLACK MASK (Still clearly unimpressed): So let me get this straight. You go around killing perfect strangers and then cut yourself right after each murder, right?
ZSASZ (Still grinning perversely): Of course!
BLACK MASK (Still clearly unimpressed): And every time, you do this with the same knife you've used on the victim?
ZSASZ (Still grinning perversely): Naturally! Otherwise, what is the point?
PANEL THREE.
BLACK MASK (Still clearly unimpressed): Okay, and what about the HIV then?
ZSASZ (Suddenly silent, eyes bulging).
PANEL FOUR.
Inside of ZSASZ's Cell (or steel box in a steel cage, whatever).
ZSASZ is sitting at a corner, all silent, wild-eyed, huddled tightly while hugging his knees and shaking violently.
Guardian Angel.
Against all expectations, Negi had died after all.
Now, the goddess Aqua sitting behind the desk of the Heavenly Relocation Office he'd been sent to went through his file. "Well... If you don't want to reincarnate as an adventurer going up against an all powerful black magic overlord, I think I can understand that, it must feel stale by now, right? Okay, how about this? It's a job where you still can do good for others, but in a smaller, more relaxed and personal scale..."
Negi perked up. "Oh, that sounds nice indeed! What do I need to do?"
"Gray, why are you naked again?" Erza calmly asked him.
He looked down at himself and gasped. "Dammit, I did it again! And I don't even realize when I'm doing it! It's like I'm going freaking crazy!"
Hanging shortly behind him, his invisible guardian angel sighed and rubbed his nose. He hated it when this happened, but how could he help it? He needed to stay close to his protege at all times, but his surroundings were always so cold...!
4-Koma.
Panel One: Chisame walks into a room to see Chamo, with his back turned on her and oblivious to her presence, sitting on the floor before a glowing Pactio circle, piece of chalk still in a paw while happily talking to someone through a cellphone.
Panel Two: Chisame angrily bursts back into her room, startles a Negi who has been having a cellphone conversation.
Panel Three: Chisame smiles smugly, dusting her hands off while walking away from a closet door, someone banging on it from the inside as we can see onomatopeia of violent hits all around the door.
Panel Four: Chisame walks back on Chamo, does a wild take when she sees Chamo and Chachazero kissing on the Pactio circle, a large 'CHU!' hanging above them.
Bible Bat.
Chained together to a large metal wheel at the end of the dark room, and completely naked (except, in his case, for his cape and cowl), they looked down at the two fiends standing under their suspended bodies.
"Why are you doing...this to us?" Takashiro Hiroko asked.
"Because it's fun," Kitami Reika replied. "It's fun watching people suffer over and over again. A face filled with pain, a face filled with pleasure... They all turn me on in different ways."
"Ooooo, who's a naughty pretty little thing, who who who?" the clown giggled, pinching her in a cheek.
"You're crazy..." the red haired woman said.
"That's right, we're crazy," Kitami admitted. "But the entire world is crazy. People just don't want to admit it. Take a look at our world. Genocides, science out of control, corruption as a way of life. God has forsaken us. Humanity ignores the Ten Commandments, and continues to commit mortal sin after mortal sin. Ruled by a bunch of hypocrites, this world is filled with sin. And in a world like this, we're the only ones who fit in perfectly. This world needs people like us."
"Yes, we've proved our point," the Joker added. "By corrupting this whole place, we've demonstrated there's no difference between us and everyone else! All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest person alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where we are. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once, am I right? I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad day and everything changed. You had a bad day, and it drove you as crazy as everybody else... Only you won't admit it! You have to keep pretending that life makes sense, that there's some point to all this struggling! God you make me want to puke."
Kitami silently held a bag for him.
"Not in the literal sense..." he said, waving the bag aside. "I mean, what is it with you guys? What made you what you are? Something like that happened to me, you know. I... I'm not exactly sure what it was. Sometimes I remember it one way, sometimes another... If I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice! Ha ha ha! But my point is... My point is, I went crazy. When I saw what a black, awful joke the world was, I went crazy as a coot! I admit it! Why can't you? I mean, you're not unintelligent! You must see the reality of the situation. Do you know how many times we've come close to World War Three over a flock of geese on a computer screen? Do you know what triggered the last world war? An argument over how many telegraph poles Germany owed its war debt creditors! Telegraph poles! Ha ha ha ha HA! It's all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for... it's all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can't you see the funny side? Why aren't you laughing?"
"Because... the Batman finally said in a growling, tense, grim tone, "you are mixing Alan Moore up with hentai..."
Kitami and the Joker then shared an odd, eyebrow-arching glare before looking up at their captives again.
"You haven't ever read Lost Girls, have you?" the Joker blandly requested.
Mondo Butter on Mami's Head.
"Do you like Mondo Butter on Mami's Head?"
"I don't like them with Despair and Dread. I don't like Mondo Butter on Mami's Head."
"Would you like them here or there?"
"I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere. I do not like Mondo Butter on Mami's Head. I do not like them, with Despair or Dread."
"Would you like them in a slaughterhouse? Would you like them with a Suicide Mouse?"
"I do not like them in a slaughterhouse. I do not like them with a Suicide Mouse. I do not like them with creepypasta. I do not like them with that Hagakure rasta. I do not like Mondo Butter on Mami's Head. I do not like them, with Despair or Dread."
"Would you eat them with Killer Croc? Before he hits you with a rock?"
"Not with Croc. Not under a rock. Not in a slaughterhouse. Not with a Suicide Mouse. I would not eat them with Creepypasta or with a rasta. I would not eat them here or anywhere. I do not like Mondo Butter on Mami's Head. I do not like them, with Despair or Dread."
"Would you? Could you? In Akio's Car? Eat them! Suck them! Here they are."
"I would not, could not, in Akio's Car."
"You may like them. You will see. You may like them in a Robert E. Howard tree?"
"I would not, could not in a polar tree. Not in Akio's car! You let me be. Not with Croc. Not under a rock. Not in a slaughterhouse. Not with a Suicide Mouse. I would not eat them with Creepypasta or with a rasta. I would not eat them here or anywhere. I do not like Mondo Butter on Mami's Head. I do not like them, with Despair or Dread."
"A train! A train! A train! A train! Could you, would you on a meat train?"
"Not on a train! What a pain! Not in a polar tree! Not in Akio's car! You let me be. Not with Croc. Not under a rock. Not in a slaughterhouse. Not with a Suicide Mouse. I would not eat them with Creepypasta or with a rasta. I would not eat them here or anywhere. I do not like Mondo Butter on Mami's Head. I do not like them, with Despair or Dread."
"Say! In the wet dark? Here in the dark! With the Old Ones! Would you, could you, in the dark?"
"I would not, could not, with the Old Ones in the dark."
"Would you, could you, in the acid rain?"
"I would not, could not, in the acid rain. What a pain! Not in a meat train! Not in a polar tree! Not in Akio's car! You let me be. Not with Croc. Not under a rock. Not in a slaughterhouse. Not with a Suicide Mouse. I would not eat them with Creepypasta or with a rasta. I would not eat them here or anywhere. I do not like Mondo Butter on Mami's Head. I do not like them, with Despair or Dread."
"Don't you like Mondo Butter on Mami's Head?"
"I don't like them with Despair and Dread. I don't like Mondo Butter on Mami's Head."
"Could you, would you, with a screwed goat?"
"I would not, could not with a screwed goat!"
"Would you, could you, on a Nice Boat?"
"I could not, would not, on a Nice Boat. I will not, will not, with a screwed goat. I would not, could not, in the acid rain. What a pain! Not in a meat train! Not in a polar tree! Not in Akio's car! You let me be. Not with Croc. Not under a rock. Not in a slaughterhouse. Not with a Suicide Mouse. I would not eat them with Creepypasta or with a rasta. I would not eat them here or anywhere. I do not like Mondo Butter on Mami's Head. I do not like them, with Despair or Dread. I do not like them here or there. I do not like them ANYWHERE!"
"You do not like them. So you say. Try them! Try them! And you may try them and you may I say."
"Monokuma! If you will let me be, I will try them. You will see."
"Say! I like Mondo Butter on Mami's Head! I do like them, with Despair and Dread! And I would eat them in a Nice Boat! And I would eat them screwing a goat... And I will eat them in the acid rain. And in the wet dark. And on a meat train. And in Akio's car. And in a polar tree. They are so goddamn good, so goddamn good, you see! So I will eat them with Killer Croc. And I will eat them under a rock. And I will eat them in a slaughterhouse. And I will eat them with a Suicide Mouse. And I will eat them here and there. Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!"
"I do so like Mondo Butter on Mami's Head! Thank you! Thank you, with Despair and Dread!"
Twilight of the Demon.
Ra's al Ghul looked down the balcony of his mountain fortress, at the valley teeming with villages below.
"Ubu," he grimly told his faithful servant, "my latest confrontation with the Detective has left me thinking. What if, through some trick of destiny, he is in the right? Perhaps fate has been trying to tell me, over centuries of being thwarted by him and others like him, it is my way of thinking that is in the wrong. Look at all those unware lives, all of them nothing but innocent pawns in the large scale manipulations of others such as myself, even if their ideals oppose mine. Have I spent so long chasing my dream it has clouded my vision of reality? Do I really have the divine right to erradicate them?"
"My Lord," Ubu humbly said. "I am nothing but a brute who owes everything to you. My wisdom will never match yours, but since you ask for my opinion I must comply. I am no good with words and you know it, oh Ra's. So I would prefer, if I may, to show you why I consider your path to be the righteous one, through something I have been saving for such a day, in the event this day would ever come.I don't know if that hunch, as you might call it, exalted, was right or not. That is for you to decide. All the same, I humbly beg you to let me share that with you."
Ra's regally nodded. "Show me, then, and I shall judge accordingly."
"Master," bowing to him, Ubu led him to his private quarters, and into a secret chamber behind a wall. He looked through a shelf supplied with several compact discs while Ra's waited silently, picked one that was at the end of the line, then quietly put it into his television set's CD player. Ra's understood and sat next to him, intrigued.
Summit Entertainment.
A Lionsgate Company.
There was a slow pan of a house in a rural area, surrounded by trees blocking most of the screen's foreground. Then a young man in a hooded sweater was seen walking through said woods.
Twilight.
Ra's arched an eyebrow.
After remaining eerily still and chillingly quiet during the whole movie, the Demon's Head rose from his seat and quickly bowed his head to his large, muscular servant.
"My deepest thanks, Ubu. In this hour of foolish hesitation, you have opened my eyes, rekindled my vows, made me remember the urgence of my sacred mission. Truly, the world must be cleansed no matter the price."
"My Liege," Ubu bowed deeply in turn, falling to a knee.
"Now just burn that vile thing on the double, for it fouls my fortress."
"Yes, Master! Still—"
"No, my resolve shall never falter that much again! Ubu, I command you, dispose of that horror forever!"
"As you wish, all knowing Ra's."
"Also, bring Damian to me. I have his first mission in mind now."
"And that's why I have to kill you, although I still don't understand what was so unspeakably horrible about that... thing," the hooded boy shrugged as he stood over the fallen writer, sword in hand. "Still, if Grandfather says it must be done, then it must be done..."
Saber in the World of Magic.
"Sir," the local Chief of Police saluted Governor Godel as he came out of the carriage, "it's good to see you could make it so quickly!"
"This will better be a valid arrest, Chief Magellan," the well dressed government officer coldly regarded the portly, nervous local authority as he led him into the town's police station. "I trust I don't need to remind you this is a matter of global security. And false alarms wasting our time will be punished accordingly."
"I'm pretty sure we have one of them, Sire," Chief Magellan gulped, showing them one of the 'WANTED' ads that had been circulating over the last few days. "Her face is unmistakable! And several of the suspects have admitted answering to this name, 'Saber'..."
"Wait," Godel paused. "Several suspects? What game are you playing on us, Magellan?"
The shorter man almost cried. "Please, Sire, understand! We only had arrested one suspect when we called you, but ever since, more have shown up! Most of them claim to be the actual 'Saber', and as a matter of fact, all of them have lived up to the reports of the criminal's level of menace. Why, if they wanted to, any single of them could have escaped us easily, that's how powerful they are..."
Godel began to quietly rub his own forehead in slow circles with two fingers. "... You mean you have engaged them in combat already, Magellan?"
"Combat? Sire, none of those encounters could be called 'combat'! They wiped the floor with my forces every time any of them showed up! Of course, I trust, now you are here, your legendary prowesses in battle will prove being up to the task of—"
"Just show me your prisoners already, Magellan."
"T-Technically, Sire, it's more like they are our guests by this point..."
The police chief meekly opened the door at the end of the corridor, showing Godel the room where several women with the same face as the wanted accomplice sat around a table.
"To hell with your arias!" one of them wearing a skimpy top and tight shorts, was threatening the much bustier lookalike sitting across her with a smug smile on her face. "I don't want to listen to any music to spend my time here, I'd rather be out looking for my father! I really don't think these buffoons will bring him to us as they promised!"
"Again I ask, what need is there for a person you claim hating so much," the woman in red purred suggestively, placing a hand on the fuming young woman's chin, and making her blush furiously, "when you can let me soothe your soul down with heavenly music composed just for the two of us? I think your face is lovely, and if you want to be a man so much, then I can be the woman for you..."
"Please don't do that, it's improper, especially in someone else's official grounds," sighed a taller woman with the same face but much longer hair made into a thick braid. "Lady Alter, please help me here!"
The masked woman in black just kept on growling threateningly.
"Don't fight, don't fight!" sobbed the youngest looking of them all, tears overflowing from her large, lovable green eyes.
"Seriously," grumbled the lookalike in the short skimpy clothes who sat slightly apart from the others, "even Nobunaga isn't as much of an unruly clown as you fellows are!" Then she broke into uncontrollable coughing.
"Well, the time is come, at last," smiled perversely the extremely busty woman, also with the same face, holding a gigantic lance as she looked at the newly arrived Godel. "You are, I assume, the representative of this country who came to surrender it to me?"
Kurt Godel was not one to ever feel fear.
But he did now.
Simple Plans.
"And then... I threw a rock at him!" Croc finally said.
Joker, Penguin, Dent and Ivy simply stared, unamused, at him.
"It was a big rock!" Croc protested.
They kept on staring.
"Oh, yeah?!" Croc slammed his hands on the table. "Well, let me ask ya wiseguys, who's the stupidest? The guy who throws a giant rock that happens to miss, but woulda killed the guy had it hit, or the guys who actually hit the guy, leave him unconscious, and then don't bother unmaskin' him or, ya know, shootin' him, but they place 'im in a stupid elaborate deathtrap so he can escape and kick their asses?! C'mon, I'm sure ya can answer that, 'cause you're so much smarter than me, the guy who's dumb enough as to just rip the damn guy apart an' eat 'im instead of messin' around puttin' him in a fuckin' homemade trap!"
Penguin, Dent and Ivy stared down, ashamed.
Joker threw his hands up. "You don't know how to live!"
Unequally Rational and Emotional Tries Its Hand at Being UQ Holder Chapter 130.
The Nagi/Mage of the Beginning entity crouched down before the still dazed Evangeline, smiling warmly at her. He supported himself on a knee as he placed a hand on her small cheek and then spoke warmly to her.
"It's been a really long time, Eva-chan."
Evangeline blinked. "Ah?"
"I love you," he said.
"Ah...!" she said, voice degenerating into a mousey squeak even Sora and Ai found pitiful, cheeks flaring scarlet.
And then he leaned ahead and claimed her lips.
Chisame looked at Negi. "Aren't you going to rage over this?"
"Eh?" he asked. "No, of course I won't! Why should I? Should I express any jealousy over my respected relative and the teacher figure I've come to respect as a mother finding love with each other? Honestly, Chisame, what do you think I am, some sort of no-good with a mother that-thing-Haruna-said was a—"
"Mother fetish, that's what you're trying to say," Haruna said.
Negi nodded. "Yes, that, I suppose. Thank you."
"I was just asking," Chisame said, tossing her hands up. "I don't know, it sounded like the typical Idiot Boy Hero thing to do."
They went back to watching Nagi frenching Evangeline, her arms now flailing around madly.
"Whoa," Misa said. "He's like a freaking Kissing Terminator."
Asuna sputtered and took a hand to her mouth, twitching as she experienced really bad flashbacks from the Festival.
"You sure you don't want to attack him regardless?" Chamo asked Negi. "Because anyway, he's still kissing one of your students, in public, and—"
"Ah ha ha ha, no, let them be," Negi laughed it off. "And charging the Mage of the Beginning posessing the other greatest mage who ever lived? What kind of suicidal idiot would I need being? Even if I were an immortal, that'd have me killed!"
Shirou's right eyebrow twitched for some reason.
"I would perhaps have a few things to say on those claims, regarding the rankings of history's greatest mages," Saber calmly said, "but there's hardly a point on it."
By now Evangeline's face was downright purple, even as she had stopped flailing and instead had her arms wrapped around Nagi's shoulders and neck, pulling him to herself. Nagi's face was starting to turn purple too.
"Is this how the Apocalypse begins?" Kugimiya wondered.
"I'm afraid so," Kaname-san nodded while Akemi-san simply kept Makie's eyes well blocked with her hands, much to the gymnast's grumbling frustration. "On the bright side, at least it's not because of a Witch descending upon us this ti—"
"THE HELL YOU ARE DOING, YOU OLD WOMAN?!" Servant Shielder raced past them all, in a dash worthy of any Dumb Suicidal Enraged Shounen Hero, brandishing her sword out as she zoomed towards the kissing couple...
And that was how Apocalypse got started.
You Should (Not) Redo Again.
"Oh crap," Touta mumbled, turning the TV on. "I got distracted and missed my favorite show!"
While Kirie lazily brushed her teeth in the bathroom, she felt someone sliding right behind her, then slicing her throat open with a sword.
"... curses," Karin said, looking at her wristwatch while leaving the videogame store, empty-handed. "I should've listened to Yukihime-sama and arrived earlier. Now her limited edition's all gone, what should I do...?"
Kirie was suddenly awakened when she felt someone placing themselves above her on her bed, then stabbing a sword between her eyes.
Jinbei patted himself in the stomach, with a wide satisfied smile. "Damn, but that meal and that sake were fine! I'd like to enjoy them again..."
Kirie was just walking around the UQ HQ, minding her own business, when someone dropped a cement block on her head from the rooftop.
"Say, Kirie-chan," Kuromaru said, walking up to her, "I just missed the train that would take me to Osaka, and I'd like to know if you would—"
Kirie kicked him in the stomach. "At least you ask before doing it, but my answer's still NO!"
As she stomped away angrily, Kuromaru took his hands to his stomach and whined, "What's so bad about taking me there on your broom, anyway?!"
One Average Week At Type-Moon.
Monday:
Arcueid peeked into Nasu's office. "Boss, Tsukihime Grand Order when?"
"Ah ha ha ha ha... No."
Tuesday:
Shiki peeked into Nasu's office. "Sir? Tsukihime Grand Order when?"
"Eh heh heh heh... funny guy, but nope."
Wednesday:
Ciel peeked into Nasu's office. "Nasu-sama, Tsukihime Grand Order when?"
"No."
Thursday:
Akiha peeked into Nasu's office. "Nasu-sama, about my suggestions for the Tsukihime Grand Order Project..."
"Out."
Friday:
Kohaku peeked into Nasu's office, Hisui silently hanging behind her. "Nasu-sama, Sir? Akiha-sama sent us to remind you of her proposals for the Tsu—"
"I'm calling security now."
"We're gone," and she quietly closed the door back.
Saturday:
Arihiko peeked into Nasu's office. "Hey, old man! So, what about that Tsukihime Grand Order thing now, huh?"
"Who the hell are you?"
Sunday:
Satsuki gulped, then peeked into Nasu's office. "N-Nasu-sama? I was, I was wondering, about Tsukihime Grand Order, and..."
The janitor stopped brooming the floor and gave her a curious look.
She sighed. "Oh, right." And she walked away.
NEXT: Escape from Illya's Castle!