A week later, they were running out of freezer space from all the untouched casseroles. It would've suited Beth just fine to dump them in the trash but it was only because of Patricia that she didn't follow through with the plan. Southern tradition insisted upon complimenting the meal when the clean serving dish was returned, or so the older woman claimed, and even though Beth would've been perfectly content to lie or never even return a dish, eventually Patricia's argument won out. If she wanted to make a dinner of it and invite Denise and Tara over, why not? They'd always intended to have another dinner with everyone over so why not go along with it when it meant Beth wouldn't have to lift a single finger to cook?

There'd been little time for cooking. After Maggie had left, they'd started to clean out Hershel's room, starting with the heavy dressers that they'd loaded into the back of Beth's truck and dropped off in a storage unit. On the days Shane worked, Beth stripped the walls of all of her father's decor, not caring if anyone thought it was too soon for the change. The only thing worse than him being gone was walking by his bedroom, filled with all of his belongings, like it was simply waiting for his return.

It'd brought Shane great pleasure when he'd finally moved the window unit from Hershel's room to Beth's bedroom window instead. There'd been little work accomplished that day. She'd waited until he'd sprawled out in her bed like a starfish to tell him the rest of the good news, that as soon as she and Maggie split what was left of Hershel's life insurance, the farmhouse would officially join the twenty-first century after the central air was installed.

Other than when her lips had wrapped him later that night, Beth wasn't sure she'd ever seen Shane so relieved.

"What do you think - toss, donate, or keep?" Beth asked, holding up a suit jacket from Hershel's closet.

"Toss," Patricia answered from her spot on the floor where she was folding the clothes for the donated pile. "That one has a hole in the left pocket and it's been hemmed so many times it'd fall apart as soon as someone washed it."

His closet was the last thing left and Beth had been putting it off for good reason - it was stuffed full of decades of junk, most of which she didn't even know when or how he'd acquired. More things she'd never get to ask him about, though Patricia was proving to be a valuable resource, her input being as unsettling as it was helpful. Beth was yet to ask Patricia for all the answers she really craved though, they'd both been avoiding the topic.

"And this?" Beth asked again, showing Patricia a scarf she'd never once seen her father wear.

"You might wanna keep it. Your mama knitted that after we had a really cold winter, record-breaking lows, she'd sworn he'd be thankful the next year...which was how long it took her to finish it, by the way. Never caught on to knitting, that one. Never got cold enough to wear it either. But he hung on to it."

Beth sighed and tossed it in the one pile she'd eventually go through alone - undecided.

"Honey, how much longer are you gonna keep at this? I gotta put the food in the oven soon."

"I don't know, not much longer."

"Is Tara still coming home with Shane and Denise meeting her here?"

"Far as I know."

"How's he liking having company?"

It was only their second day as partners but Beth knew Shane was enjoying having an extra set of hands and someone to talk to while the hours passed. She liked it too - knowing he wasn't alone on the road, that back-up was only a few steps away instead of miles.

"I think he's happy. He told me last night he's trying hard not to compare her to Rick and how close they were, but they'll get there," Beth answered, holding a pair of slacks she didn't recognize. "What ya think?"

"Donate. He barely wore those, just a few times when he took your mom out on their last few anniversaries."

Another sigh and Beth couldn't take it anymore.

She walked towards the stack that Patricia was folding, tossing the pants on top, before finally sitting down on the empty hardwood floor across from her.

"How do you do this?" Beth finally asked, trying to soften her voice so she wouldn't sound too aggressive. "How can you just...recite all these facts and not feel-"

"Guilty? Jealous?"

Beth winced, getting more than she bargained for.

"I was just thinking guilty but I guess the latter applies too," Beth admitted.

"I take you've finally decided you need answers to all the questions I'm sure you have."

Beth just nodded as Patricia set the shirt she'd been folding to the side, both of them bracing for the conversation.

"How long?" Beth asked. "How long did it go on?"

"The first time...it was before you were born. They'd had a fight, they were both down when she kept struggling to get pregnant. Your daddy came over to our place just to have a drink with Otis, and you know how he struggled back then with alcohol. One drink became two, then three. Eventually, Otis passed out and we were alone. We didn't mean to, we didn't plan it, it was just a nice escape."

Maybe she had asked for it but Beth still struggled to hear Patricia's answer. She busied herself folding the clothes that Patricia had abandoned before asking anything else.

"Was that it? The end?"

"For a while, yes. For a long time. We made a pact that it'd never happen again and we wouldn't mention it to your mom or Otis, not ever. The problem with such a promise is that it brings you closer because you share a secret. But you girls came along and things got better, they were happy, we kept our promise until your mom got sick."

"He did this while she was sick?" Beth asked, her eyes actually widening at the confession. "That's-"

"Not what you think," Patricia added. "This was towards the end, we all knew she wouldn't last much longer. She wasn't herself and he was afraid, alone with two little girls, I slept over half the time to help him. It was just comfort, Beth. I already knew his worst secret so I think he felt safe telling me the others - how terrified he was, how lonely. After she passed, it happened a few more times. I loved Otis but he wasn't sharp like your daddy. We weren't proud of it."

"Did you love him?"

Beth didn't know why she asked, it wouldn't make her feel any better about him.

"Of course. I knew the man for most my life, of course I loved him. If you're asking if I was in love with him, I don't know. I think I could've been, if he wasn't in love with your mom - what you really wanna know, am I right?"

"I guess, yeah."

"Well, he did. If he could've picked, it would've been her every time. And of course, I felt guilty. We both did, I still do. But it happened and pretending it didn't would be a lie."

"You moved in when I left for college, was that…" Beth couldn't even finish the thought.

Them finally being together? Them sneaking around now that they were both free from the kids and spouses? As horrible as she felt, Beth almost laughed. The idea of two people her father's age finally getting to be together was as depressing as it was infuriating and laughter had always been the best medicine.

"That was two friends taking care of each other," Patricia answered. "It was too late by then. Too late for what you're thinking. It's a big farm and it's even bigger when you're an empty nester. He needed my help just as much as he needed my company."

Beth pushed the clothes she'd been folding towards the side and finally looked Patricia in the eyes.

"None of this really makes me feel any better," she finally spoke, throwing a hand up in the air. "I don't know why I thought it would."

"Well, it's easier to make peace when you know what you're making peace with," Patricia replied.

"I guess. I miss him so much, but I also feel sick at the thought of what he did. Maybe I just needed to know how sick I should feel, how bad it really was, if I should hate him."

"And if you should hate me?" Patricia asked with a defeated smile.

"That too. But I don't, you know that right? Me and Maggie would've been lost without you growing up and especially the last few months, you were taking care of him so I could concentrate on other things. He would've been stuck in some hospice where he was lucky to get turned once a week if you didn't take it all on. You know we're grateful, right?"

"I know. And speaking of which, there's something else I should probably tell you."

Beth felt her stomach drop. She was just starting to make sense of Patricia's first bombshell, she didn't need another.

"No, it's not like that," Patricia promised, seeing Beth's panic. "It's not bad, I don't think so anyway."

"What?"

"Well, I've been thinking. He is gone now. And Beth, you've got a good handle on things around here, there isn't much for me to do anymore. You and Shane...y'all are fine on your own. I've been talking to my daughter and I think I'm gonna move in with her, spend more time with my grandbabies."

"Oh."

Beth wasn't sure what to say. Part of her already missed the woman next to her but another part of her was relieved. She wouldn't have to look at Patricia every day, there wouldn't be a constant reminder of her father's dirty deeds. It wasn't fair to Patricia, Beth knew that, but when was life ever fair?

"Judging by your not begging me to stay, I can see it's the right choice."

"Patricia, no-"

"Beth, it's okay. I know some space might do us good. That's okay. Things might not ever be the same between us but this might be a good time to start fresh. Because speakin' of fresh, you and Shane don't need me around driving you crazy. Enjoy each other."

"When were you thinkin' of leaving?"

"Not too soon," Patricia answered. "She wants to set up my room nice and pretty. And I've gotta go through my own stuff here. But I thought I should let you know that it's gonna happen, I don't wanna spring it on you."

"Thank you," Beth replied, exhaling and wiping some sweat from her brow with her forearm. "Don't feel like you have to rush though, not on my account."

"I know I don't. I also know you'll be just fine without me here."

Her next words may have sounded cocky but Beth said them anyway, it was true, after all.

"I know," she agreed, finally standing up and reaching a hand out to help Patricia up too. "I guess we should get started on heating up those casseroles, huh?"

"We need too," Patricia agreed, heading towards the door. "Denise is gonna be here any minute and I haven't even started. You coming?"

"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute."

Beth hesitated for a few moments, until Patricia's footsteps were headed downstairs. Finally, she retrieved the scarf and tossed it in the keep pile before heading downstairs too.

Getting a late start proved to be for the best. Denise arrived moments later but Shane and Tara didn't get home until a good twenty minutes after everything had been reheated. They'd gotten a late call and when he came into the kitchen and greeted her with a kiss, Beth could see he was exhausted. Exhausted, but glad to be home, judging by the way he rested his forehead against hers for a beat too long and breathed her in with his eyes closed.

Over dinner, Tara and Shane told them all about the man they'd been forced to chase on foot - all because of the car he'd graffitied after learning his ex-girlfriend had finally plucked up the courage to move on with her life. A late call that included an arrest always meant a late night and Beth knew it would be the first of many such nights, she just hoped he always came back safe to her. After everyone was stuffed and the laughter was replaced by moans of full bellies, Denise and Tara finally headed home, but only after Beth assured them she needed no help with cleanup.

She chased Patricia to bed too, insisting she could manage to wash a few dishes on her own.

"You care if I go finish this report?" Shane asked, once they'd cleared all the plates from the table and Beth was filling the sink up with suds.

He came up behind her and kissed her neck, his large hands wrapping around her waist and pressing himself against her backside.

"I think I can manage," Beth answered with a smile. "Plus, I'd rather you be free tonight."

"That so? You got plans for me?"

"Don't I always?"

"Yes you do," Shane whispered, kissing his way down her shoulder.

Beth knew they'd both get distracted if he kept it up and neither his report or her dishes would ever get finished. Finally she turned around and playfully swatted him with the dash rag, shooing him away just like all the rest.

"Go," she laughed. "Before my water gets cold."

"Sorry, ma'am."

They were both still grinning when he grabbed his laptop from the counter and headed upstairs towards the AC.

Beth was almost finished with the dishes when she heard his phone ring. She was elbow deep in Dawn and grease and paid it no attention, letting it go off from its spot on the counter - where Shane always dumped everything in his pockets the moment he walked through the door. It kept ringing and she debated if she wanted to place some sort of bowl there, something that could easily collect his spare change and keys without making a mess. Finally, the caller gave up and Beth's train of thought returned to the dishes, at least until it began to ring again.

Back-to-back calls were never good. Maybe he'd forgotten something at work, maybe it was Denise or Tara stranded on the side road, Beth didn't know but she couldn't ignore it anymore. Killing the water and drying her hands off quickly on the dishrag she'd just swatted him away with, Beth skipped over to the counter where his phone sat, her heart stopping in her chest when she saw the name on his screen.

The question she'd wondered weeks before was finally answered. Rick's number was still stored in Shane's phone as a contact.

It'd already been ringing for too long and before Beth could even decide if she should, she picked it up, swiping the screen, and held it to her ear.

"Hello?"

It took a moment for the person on the other end to say anything and she worried she'd waited too long.

"Hello?"

"Beth?"

It was Rick. Her mind hadn't been playing tricks on her nor did Shane have any other Ricks that would be calling him - what she'd almost hoped was the case when she'd seen the name.

She waited for him to say something else, forgetting that it was her turn to speak.

"I was looking, I…" he trailed off and Beth could've sworn she heard him laugh. "Is Shane there?"

Rick sounded just as confused by the smile in his voice as Beth was to hear it.

"Yeah, he's upstairs. I can get him if you want."

"Please."

That time she was positive the man on the other end of the line was smiling and Beth just stuttered her next words out, her brain having a hard time catching up.

"Yeah, alright hold on."

She wasn't sure her feet had ever moved quite so fast. Beth took the stairs two at a time, pressing the phone against her ear, afraid that if she stopped listening to the other line they might lose him again.

He was sprawled out in his boxer briefs, starting to doze off with the laptop next to him when Beth burst through the door. She looked like she'd run a marathon and before Shane could even ask what was wrong or pretend like he hadn't just been about to fall asleep, Beth was shoving his phone in his direction.

"Who is it?"

Shane's stomach dropped as Beth whispered the answer, her hand covering the speaker.

"It's Rick."

Shane had expected her to say it was the sheriff or Tara, literally any name would've came to him before Rick. Finally he sat up but still didn't make a move to take it from her.

"Take it," she urged again. "Shane, just take it before the call gets dropped or something. He sounds...different."

"Different?"

"Happy. I think. Just take it."

For some reason, hearing that a pleasant voice awaited him made Shane pause even longer.

There was only one thing that Shane knew of that would make his ex-best-friend happy but also warranted a phone call. Of course, Shane had never actually expected said phone call or any acknowledgment at all. But...he knew. Deep down, how could he not?

The timing was right.

Intentionally, he hadn't kept a perfect track of Lori's pregnancy. Iit would've been torture to know the time was drawing closer and closer, that his baby was about to be born, and that he could have no part of it. But even without counting the days, like they'd no doubt gotten the pleasure of doing, Shane hadn't been able to entirely forget the time was approaching.

Maybe he didn't get to pack a hospital bag or fight over names or worry about installing the carseat, but it'd always been there in the back of his mind. Sometimes he found himself wondering if it'd already happened, had his daughter already been brought into the world and he was none the wiser? Other times he lied to himself, claiming all he wanted to hear was that she was safe - whenever it happened. If nothing else, he at least wanted to know she was healthy.

When Shane finally took the phone from Beth's hand, he already knew what Rick was going to say. Still, it didn't stop his normally steady hand from shaking.

"Hello?" Shane spoke, a wave of warmth that Shane hadn't expected, crashing through him when Rick finally replied.

"Congratulations. I guess I get to be the first to tell you...you're a daddy."

The air left Shane's lungs as he held his free hand over his mouth, blinking back the tears that Rick's words had spawned. Not just because of what was said but because of who was saying it. Beth had taken a few steps back, most likely about to leave so Shane could have his privacy, but he didn't want any. He grabbed her before she could leave, meeting her eyes and squeezing her hand as she stood over him.

"You there?" Rick asked, bringing Shane's attention back to the phone against his ear.

Shane struggled to swallow the lump in his throat, not caring that his voice cracked when he replied.

"Yeah. Yeah man, I'm here."

"I take it you heard me?" Rick asked and Shane could hear the laughter in his voice. "Your daughter just arrived."

There were a million questions Shane wanted to ask but he started with the most important.

"How is she? Everything okay? She alright?"

"She's perfect, Shane. She's healthy. 8lbs, 15oz...big, healthy girl. Everybody is doing great. She was born about two hours but you know how it goes. We had to wait for Lori to come back to recovery after the c-section."

Shane looked towards Beth to find her grinning to her ears, her head nodding along, assuring him that the conversation happening was real.

"I don't know what to say, man," Shane answered, rubbing a hand over the back of his head. "I-"

"I know," Rick told him. "The first baby always leaves you speechless. Hell, I guess the second one does too."

Shane tried to imagine his friend on the other end of the line. Rick sounded like...Rick. It was a voice Shane hadn't heard since before the shooting, back when they ordered burgers for lunch and shared a pile of ketchup for their fries. Was he in the room with the baby now? Had he stepped outside to sneak a phone call while Lori nursed?

"Why?" Shane finally asked, working up the nerve to learn the truth.

Was Rick throwing him one last bone or inviting him to come play?

"Why'd you call me, Rick? Why now?"

The line grew silent for a minute and Shane worried he'd ruined the mood. But finally, Rick spoke again, his voice growing more serious.

"Shane...I was standing there and the nurses are all tellin' me 'dad, come over here and cut the cord' or 'here you go, dad, hold her while we finish up on your wife'. And all I could think was...I'm not her dad. Not the way you are. And you were missing all these moments, moments you can't get back. And God, she's beautiful and innocent and she deserves to know you. This ain't about me or even you and Lori, it's about what's best for her. And after looking at her? Holdin' her? Counting her ten little fingers and toes? I can't deny her that."

That time it was Rick's voice that cracked and Shane waited a moment before responding, allowing them both the opportunity to collect themselves.

"Does Lori know?"

Shane braced himself for what he didn't want to hear - it already felt too good to be true.

"She does. We'd been playing around with the idea lately, you know? We weren't sure what to do...it's all a mess. But then today, we both knew the answer."

The tears were back in Shane's eyes when he glanced up at Beth again, struggling to find the right words.

"Thank you," he finally said after Beth gave his hand another encouraging squeeze.

"You're welcome. And I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you probably wanna see her?"

"Yeah, text me pictures."

"I will when I hang up but we actually had somethin' else in mind. Somethin' you might like a bit better. Since Lori had a c-section we'll be here for three days. I don't know what your schedule is these days but uh, if you could get here before she's discharged...there's a paper the hospital needs everyone to fill out if you want your name on the birth certificate. Since we're married, I'd automatically go on it but-"

"So that'd mean…"

"You'd have legal rights. Yes. If you can do it before she's discharged it'll be a lot easier, less paperwork, less waiting. She could be a Walsh. Judith Walsh. Carl picked the first name."

The first name was no surprise, but Shane didn't say that. He couldn't say anything. In a matter of minutes, he'd gone from thinking he'd never even see this baby to learning he could not only go visit her but that there'd be a little girl in the world with his last name, one he could legally stake his claim on. He'd get to hold her, kiss her, and eventually tell her his side of the story.

Luckily the two men knew each other so well that Rick didn't need Shane to say anything. His silence said enough.

"You should bring Beth too, if you want. The more the merrier. I know you two are…"

"Yeah," Shane managed to say, catching his breath and smiling. "We'll be there."

"Good. I'll text all the details when I hang up, what time were you thinking? It's an eight-hour drive, one hour flight."

Shane's body was finally coming to life after the tidal wave of relief that had paralyzed him and he couldn't help but laugh.

"You already looked it up?"

"I did," Rick admitted.

"We'll leave early in the morning," Shane told him. "Probably get there in the afternoon if that's okay."

"That's fine."

They both paused and Shane was still struggling to come to grips with his new reality. He'd always hoped that one day they'd reconsider but he'd never really thought it possible. At best, he'd expected a teenage girl to come knock on his door in eighteen years, finally searching out the man that shared half of her genetics. He'd already been planning what he'd tell her if the day ever came. Apologies, stories, everything.

"Thank you," Shane finally said again.

"You're welcome, Shane. Lori's still a loopy from all the drugs so I better get back in there though, okay? Stay by your phone so we can send the name of the hospital and pictures," Rick paused and for a second Shane worried he was changing his mind. "It was good hearing you."

"You too," Shane answered. "And hey Rick?"

"Yeah?"

"Take care of her for more."

"You always knew I would."

The call disconnected and Shane tossed his phone onto the bed, already eager to hear the text alert that would mean pictures of his baby.

"Was that what I think it was?" Beth finally asked when Shane grabbed her hands and pulled her towards him.

He was positive the grin on her face was a perfect reflection of his own.

"It was," Shane nodded. "She's here. They're gonna let me be on the birth certificate."

He knew she'd heard that part but Shane couldn't help it, he just wanted to say it out loud.

"And get to go see her too, right?"

"You too," Shane answered. "I mean...if you wanna."

He was still sitting on the edge of the bed, holding both of her hands as she stood over him, both of them teary, smiling fools.

"If you want me there, I'm there."

"I love you, of course I want you there."

It took his brain a second to register what he'd just said. But judging by the way Beth intertwined their fingers, she hadn't missed a word. It felt so natural slipping through his lips that Shane hadn't been able to question if it was too soon to say or even appropriate. Before he could apologize or take it back, not that he wanted to, Beth was already taking another step until finally she climbed on his lap, straddled his waist, and kissed his lips.

"I love you too," she finally answered while holding his gaze.

"You're sure this ain't all too much for you?"

"I'm positive," she answered, stroking his face between her hands and landing another easy kiss on his lips. "I wouldn't wish for anything else. Because I love you."

"I love you too."

When he met her lips again, Beth gave him a gentle shove, until Shane was flat on his back and she stayed straddling his waist. Their kisses were slow and lazy, taking the time to absorb the words that had just been exchanged.

"Should I find a hotel online?" Beth asked when their lips finally parted.

"Please. I gotta call work, let 'em know I'll be out for a few days."

"Will they care?"

"They can't. Technically I could take paternity leave. Not a damn thing they could do, all fathers get it."

"You like the sound of that, don't ya?" Beth asked, kissing him again. "Fathers?"

"Damn right," Shane admitted with a goofy grin. "What about you? You like it?"

"I do. I think it fits you very well."

Before Shane could reply, his text alert went off, both of them racing to rescue his phone from the tangled sheets so he could finally see his daughter.