'What am I doing here? I keep doing things I usually don't do. Why?' The blonde can't help but stare at the younger woman, who's eating the last slice of pizza. Anna seems happy, how can someone be this happy only because of food? Elsa isn't able to understand this woman. Every time she's near the redhead, she feel something odd. She doesn't know yet what it is about, but she's afraid to find it out. She isn't sure if it's appropriate for her, as her doctor, to stay here eating pizza with her. A part of her is telling her to walk away, that what she's doing is wrong, she should be professional and be only a doctor to the woman, and that same part of her reminds Elsa of what her father told her once when she was a little girl.
"Elsa, you need to understand that you can't show your emotion. You need to be as neutral as possible, because you can't grow attached to your patients. It's for your best, when you'll lose a patient, which probably will happen, you must to inform the family. I've lost patients, but some doctors can't handle the loss of some patients, because they grew attached to them. This is deleterious for a surgeon. You're going to be the best doctor of the country. I want you to be the best, and you'll be. Remember, a patient isn't a friend, it's just a person who needs health care, and you're doing your job, as a surgeon, to make them feel better and heal. After your work is done, you won't have any reason to keep be near to them." Joseph tells to his 12 years old daughter.
But the other part keeps telling her that everything is right. Being next to Anna, eating a pizza with her, sitting next to her bed when she's supposed to be at home, there is something right in this.
During their dinner Anna keeps talking, she stops only when she needs to take a bite from her food. Politely Elsa is listening to every word that exits from that lovely mouth. More than one time the blonde's eyes are locked in those lips, other times they are focused on the redhead's turquoise eyes. It looks like there's a little fire behind them, they seems so alive in comparison with her icy blue ice, that are like they're empty.
"So, tell me doc. Why weren't you here today?" Anna asks to Elsa, before taking her last bite from the pizza. She looks in her doctors eyes, she's curious but she is worried too. Elsa notices the strange look from her patient. She is not going to tell her the truth.
"I had some personal stuff to do, and the Chief let me take the day off." She isn't looking at Anna, she doesn't know why, but she knows that she couldn't be able to hold her gaze while she isn't telling her the whole truth. The redhead seems to notice that.
"Mh.. so why are you here? Why did you bring me some pizza? I don't think it's only because I'd have appreciate something different from hospital food."
"I.. I thought that maybe that could be a way to express my apologies." Anna looks at her confused.
"Apologies? For what?" Elsa tries to not meet her patient's eyes. Suddenly she finds interesting the floor.
"About yesterday.. I couldn't help but think that you were upset when I told you I couldn't eat with you." She says those words almost as a whisper. 'Oh, come on, Winters. Why are you acting like this? Put yourself together!'
Anna is silent, she doesn't speak, she only keeps her eyes on her doctor's face. She can clearly see the discomfort she's feeling right now. The redhead doesn't understand why the blonde is acting like this, but she's glad that she's changing a bit. Odd as it may seem, she thinks that the Ice Queen is becoming more comfortable talking to her. Anna finds herself smiling a bit and without realize her hands are reaching the blonde's ones. The doctor's hand are soft and cold, she squeezes them a little. Elsa doesn't notice right away the hands on hers. Her eyes slowly move from the floor to them, she feels warm. A pleasant warm which is reaching her skin and bones.
Elsa isn't used to have this kind of physical connection with someone. It's a long time since something like this happened, holding her hands in comfort and understanding. Her hands within others, reminds Elsa of her childhood's days. Her mother used to hold her hands when she was sick, afraid.
"Oh my little princess.. Mama is here." Katherine is cupping her 12 years old daughter's cheek. Elsa is sick, she has flu and she comes back home sooner from school. Her mother is next to her bed, where the little girl is laying.
"Mama.. I'm sorry.." little Elsa is about to cry, her father doesn't like when she misses school.
"Oh honey, this isn't your fault. You don't need to be sorry. Your father will understand, I'll make him understand that you didn't miss school because you wanted. Don't worry." She takes her hand and start drawing little circle with her thumb. "Darling, your father and I love you so much, you know that, right?"
"Yes, I know.. but he'll be angry.." her mother place a soft kiss on her daughter forehead.
"He won't. Do you trust me?" little Elsa make a little smile and nods. "Good girl. Now, I take care of you, you'll be fine soon."
After her time being sick little Elsa returns to school and her science tutoring with her father. After his speech about how she'll be the best doctor in the country she goes to her mother. She is taking care of the garden, when her little girl comes to her. The blonde tells her about her father's opinion of the relationship between patient and doctor.
"Honey, do you know what really matters in a patient-doctor relationship?" Elsa shakes her head and her mother smiles. "Trust. The patient needs to know that his doctor will do everything to help him. Your father and I share a different point of view about this. He thinks that a surgeon needs to be distant, I think it's important that there's a good relationship. If the patient is sure that the doctors and the nurses are there for him, he'll be happier and he'll feel better sooner. We, as doctors, do everything we can, but in the end, everything is up to the patient. You're little, but one day you'll understand what I'm trying to explain to you." She takes her daughters hand and brings her closer to the orchids.
"Flowers are alive, just like you and animals. If you take a good care of them, they'll grow nicely and well. If you are distant, doesn't take care of them, they'll wither. And we don't want this, do we?" Elsa looks at a group flowers that are growing, next to them there are some beautiful orchids already grew. She squeezes her mother's hand.
"No, we don't want that. We take good care of them, so they can be as beautiful as those are now."
Unconsciously her thumb draws some circles on Anna's hand while she is remembering that day in the garden with her mother. She doesn't know why her mind recalls that moment, maybe because Anna's red hair, reminds her about some of the roses her mother had in the garden. Or maybe because of their hands are together right now.
'Wait, what!?' suddenly Elsa is aware of what she's doing with her thumb on Anna's hand. She looks at the younger woman face, seeing a little blush that's coming on it. The blonde can feel herself blushing too, and immediately she takes her hand back, leaving Anna's in mid-air. The redhead understands what her doctors doesn't said aloud. She knows that the blonde didn't want to seem rude.
"There's no reason to apologize. I understand, I'm a patient, you're my doctor, and it's unprofessional. Yesterday I shouldn't have asked that, and I'm sorry. But, I'm glad that you are here, not only because you brought me pizza, but you bought my favorite one. Thanks you, doc." She smiles at Elsa, that is glad that her patient doesn't comment what happened a few seconds before.
"I'm glad you liked it." Elsa says trying to put herself together.
"Will you be here tomorrow, right?"
"Yes and you'll be home soon." Elsa notices a bit of sadness in Anna's eyes. 'No.. don't be sad..'
"When am I going home?" Anna says quietly.
"As soon as your father is satisfied about your improvement. As far as concern me, you're free to go even tomorrow. Your heart is fine, the only thing you need to worry about is your broken leg, but it's nothing serious. You'll come back here to take off the plaster cast."
"My father has the final word, then."
"Exactly. Something wrong?" Elsa can't help but sound a bit concerned about the redhead attitude. She's too quiet.
'I just don't want to leave you. I'd like to tell you how much I'm enjoying talking to you.. Even if you're still a bit cold, you start to be more comfortable with me. I'm afraid once I leave you, you'll return to be cold as you were at the beginning.' Anna notices she's mentally talking to herself. She quickly compose herself. "No, there's nothing wrong." She smiles to the blonde.
"All right then. I'm sorry, but I think it's time for me to go, I'm not supposed to be here. And tomorrow I have to come back to work." Elsa says as she stands up.
"Sure. This will be our secret." Anna points out the carton of the pizza.
"Thanks. Take some rest now, good night Miss Summers." Elsa says once she's at the threshold of Anna's room.
"Good night, Dr. Winters." She smiles at the blonde and once she's out she whispers to herself "Thanks.."
It's 2am when Anna wakes up. She isn't sleepy, which is strange. She has a lot in her mind. She keeps recalling the evening with her doctor. She looks at her hands.
'She held my hands.. her thumb was playing on my skin. Her hands are so cold, maybe she has a low blood pressure?' She reaches her phone and checks if there are messages. Only one from her cousin Sven.
"Ehy feisty-pants! How are you doing? Today I went to Tania's and she asked me to tell you that as soon as you come back we are going to her, she'll bake your favorite cake! You need to tell me everything about this Ice Queen! You stopped telling me what's happening, do I need to talk to Kristoff? You know he would tell me anything, I'm his little brother after all. See you tomorrow, I'm coming to the hospital with Kristoff! Good night, love you."
Anna closes her phone, and watches at the window, thinking about everything and nothing. She thinks about her little cousin Sven, who's turning 18years old at the end of this week. She realizes she doesn't have yet the present for him, that's not good, she needs to go shopping.
She closes her eyes for a moment and she sees her doctor's face. She opens them, she doesn't know why she doesn't want to come home, she wants to be near to the blonde. She knows she can't, after all, she's just her doctor. 'A sexy doctor.' Anna's eyes are now wide open at her thought. 'What the hell am I thinking!? I can't think about her in that way.. or can I?' Anna starts recalling her doctors figure, her long blonde hair in that well done braid, that run down her left shoulder. Her pale yet beautiful skin. Her icy blue eyes. Those eyes are something magical. She bets that for a brief moment during their lunch those eyes, usually blank, were alive. There was something, some emotion she doesn't know right now. She hopes one day she'll be able to see that emotion again.
"Anna, you know that you're talking about the Ice Queen?" Kristoff tells her that morning.
"Yes! I'm aware of that, thanks. I only asked her if she wanted to eat with me.. nothing else." Anna is telling to her cousin what happened the last evening.
"She's too professional to do something like that, don't let your hope raise. I know what you want to do." He sends her a warning look. "She's not like the others. She's different, she's-"
"She's a person! Just like you and me. I bet she's alone, she doesn't have any friends. And you know why? Because everyone, including you, think that she's only a bitch with a frozen heart! But I don't think so. Probably she has a particular past. Why are you acting just like the others!?"
"Anna.. My opinion about her isn't what you think. But, let's be honest. Sometimes she's a bitch."
"Not with me. I've never seen her acting like everyone say. Only because she does her job very well!?"
"No, because she doesn't let anyone near her." Kristoff doesn't think about Elsa like everyone, he thinks she's a great doctor and an excellent teacher. Anna knows that, because Kristoff told her. When they're alone the topic of the conversation is always about Elsa.
"You'll see." Anna says those words with a lot of determination. She wants to prove Kristoff that Elsa isn't like that, but that she is a nice person who can be near someone and be friendly.
She notice that during their dinner Elsa was friendly and let Anna be near her, even touch her. She can feel her heartbeat speeds as she thinks about the blonde. She starts feeling warm on her cheek, and she starts to realize it. She likes her doctor. She likes the Ice Queen. She likes Elsa Winters.
Author's Note: Hi everyone! I hope you'll like the chapter. Thanks you so much for your support. It's nice to see that you're enjoying the story.
Have a nice day
Christy