AN: Gingeraffealene, I've always found the Dochraid to be terrifying!
Hamato-Grayson, I'm making squeaky fan-girl noises because I'm so happy that you like it! Thank you for making all of the comments…I adore reading all of them.
This chapter is kinda slow, but the next one…has an interaction I've really been waiting for!
CHAPTER 15: Bandits and Deals
I was in Sucktown County, located in South Suckville of Suckania. I was face down over a horse with its back digging into my stomach with every step. My hands were tied and hanging down, going numb. The blood was rushing to my head, making my stomach roll. My jaw was aching in the same freaking spot that had just about healed from before. Maybe I needed to piss off someone who was left handed next time. And there was a boot just a little ways from my face. I was on basically on someone's lap, because that wasn't creepy at all. Feeling nauseated for an entirely different reason now, I indulged myself in a few minutes of my form of cursing. I failed swearing 101, so I have my own version. Crappy crushed swan's eyeballs. Gunky piles of snotty chicken nuggets. Bulbous sweaty purple and orange platypuses. Platypi? Argh. Wallabies! Bulbous sweaty purple and orange wallabies then. How was this my life now?
I figured that was enough of that, so I put away that part of myself. That girl I'd drawn back a picture of in Camelot didn't have what I needed right now. She'd lived a soft life. Her life had never been in danger. And she hadn't been raised and trained by a queen. Instead, I deliberately put her away and called instead on the me who knew how to throw a dagger and complete a mission. I now knew that I hadn't traveled through the bandit's territory by accident. In fact, I had left most of my party behind when they hadn't been willing to follow the route I needed to take. That was one possibility my mentor and I hadn't foreseen. And of course, the memory loss wasn't in any plans. Well, nothing had gone as expected, but I had technically made contact with the leader of the bandits now, as I remembered the description of Sealgaire I'd been given. Time to get to work.
"As attractive as your knee is, do you think I could ride in a different position for a while?" I asked, causing the rider to start.
After a second, he pulled the horse to a stop. "As the lady requests." He dismounted and lifted me down. And though his hands didn't linger or go anywhere unnecessary, the whole thing still creeped me out. Still, he made sure I was able to stand before stepping back and studying me intently.
I lifted my bound hands and rubbed at my jaw. "Hell of a way to treat your ally."
He stared a moment longer, then lifted his dagger and cut the ropes on my arms. I worked hard to keep the relief on my face, but inside my head the invisible Mina put on a cheerleading outfit and began to jump around and wave pom poms while screaming, "Gimme an F, gimme an R, gimme a couple of E's cuz I'm FREE!" No, Mina wasn't my name, was it?
"Ally? I wasn't sure," my captor grunted in a guttural voice. "You seemed pretty cozy in Camelot, Seraphina."
"Well, after your associate threw me into a tree, I didn't even know that was my name, much less what I was doing there. He wasn't exactly out to make friendly contact, if you understand me."
"Bruin's an idiot. Well, he was an idiot. He never would have realized that the contact person could ever be a woman."
"And why wouldn't a woman trust a woman with her message? My queen has no problems getting her point across and neither do I. He may have doomed the alliance with his actions."
"His mistake does set us back," Sealgaire admitted. He pulled a waterskin from a saddlebag and offered it to me. Part of me wished for Clorox wipes or something, but I had no time for that. I took a drink, as he'd expect. "What message do you have for us?"
"Oh, no." I started to pace, partly to think, but mostly to get away from his rancid breath. Seriously, it smelled like a rotten onion had a baby with a dirty diaper and left it in the sun for three days. Focus, Phina, I thought. Oh, that's right. My queen called me Phina. No wonder Mina sounded good to me. Dang it, losing focus again. "No, I'm not trusting some lackey. I want the real boss. Then we can deal. Unfortunately, I didn't remember until now that my queen had sent a gift to show her good intentions. It's still in a false bottom of the donkey cart, I suppose."
"That losin' memory is awfully convenient for you," scowled Sealgaire.
"Actually, it was bloody inconvenient," I snapped, pulling out the I'm-a-noble-and-better-than-you attitude that so few people would question. No matter I was nothing but a foundling raised in the palace, I was good at pretending. "I could have been gathering information on Camelot, getting messages out, and hopefully, meeting the real power here. Now I find myself in the middle of nowhere with yet another brutish moron!"
He backhanded me, hard enough to hurt, but not hard enough to do a great deal of damage. I'd expected the blow, so I was able to let it turn my head, then turn back to give him a glare. I was using the tricks my queen had taught me to throw a man off guard. As a woman, men will always underestimate you, she'd told me many times. You are small, young, and pretty, which will only make them underestimate you more. Make a man angry and then refuse to be scared, and he won't know what to make of you. You will have the upper hand every time. "Mindless brute, as I said."
He lifted his hand again, and I refused to flinch. "Show me some respect. And tell me the message now!"
"Or what? You'll kill me? You think my queen will ally with you then? You may think I'm a nobody, but remember she trusts me enough to send me on a secret mission." I began to pace again, only licking the blood off my split lip when my back was to him. "Listen, that little gift? It's 5 of the hard forged swords." Our realm was not a wealthy one, but we had a way of forging harder, longer-lasting weapons than anyone else. Only a handful of smiths, guarded every moment, knew the secret, and selling those weapons was the most important facet of the economy. Our potential allies didn't want to use our army, they wanted us to equip theirs. As if we were simply out on a picnic, I sat on the ground and began to finger comb and braid my hair. "My queen must be fairly committed to this alliance, if we can come to terms. She doesn't give those lightly. "
"Get up," grumbled Sealgaire. He hadn't stopped glaring since I'd refused to give him the full message. "You want to meet with Lady Morgana? Fine. But we need to keep moving."
My inner cheerleader came out again, this time chanting go, me over and over. That's what I had been waiting for – confirmation of who was in charge of the whole mess. "We can go after I finish braiding my hair and relieve myself." Ha, I sounded like a queen myself.
Sealgaire didn't argue, but he grit his teeth and swore under his breath. I decided to poke at him one more time. "I know how hard it is to miss an opportunity to abuse someone who is smaller than you," I cooed with false sympathy. "But remember, you need me. We'll just have to find an kitten or perhaps a small child for your to terrorize once we've finalized the alliance." I began to hum as I finished my braid. My brain was churning, but I couldn't let it show. "You must have quite the highly-placed traitor in Camelot," I said, as if making light conversation. Sealgaire only grunted. "Oh, don't deny it. You didn't get out of the dungeon by yourself, or find my chambers by accident. And you have a healthy, fully-tacked horse and full saddle bags. You didn't find that in some farmer's barn along the way. I wonder if Arthur has more family problems."
"Careful, little girl. If you say too much, it won't matter who your queen is or what gifts you brought."
Grateful that the nickname had ignited my anger and burned out my fear, I stood and smiled. "Just idle speculation." After I relieved myself – which he fortunately let me do alone – I took the last step to win at negotiations with a man, according to my queen. Decide before you say a word exactly what concessions you'll make, and never change your mind. But make him work to get them. Give in reluctantly, and he will believe that he is in charge, which is what all men want. Even if he knows what you're doing, he can't help but feel superior to you. And in that moment, you've won.
I limped over to the horse; after all I wasn't even wearing shoes. "I think...I think you can know the main terms after all. I may have misjudged you." I saw the avaricious light in his eyes and knew I had him. Information was a good as gold to him. "My queen needs the payment, or at least three quarters of it, before delivery of the weapons, which are already complete. And no word of the weapons' origins must ever reach Camelot. It must be kept a complete secret."
The mercenary looked speculative. "And why is that, my dear Seraphina?"
"Because you might lose. And we cannot have King Arthur learn that Queen Annis has allied herself with Lady Morgana."