N/A: How is there not yet a story with Itsuki being a main character? Well, then I decided to make one. It's just humor, don't take it too seriously. :)
Around Honnoji, it seemed a calm night as if there was no surprise attack. The poor nameless base captain of the Akechi clan, who was supposed to serve as a backup, waited on an isolated base. He was excited to help his lord kill the Devil King, but Mitsuhide just laughed and told him to stay out of the action because he loved to upset everyone.
He had decided that maybe it would be better to just nap during waking time while the other disposable mooks snored. Until he heard a voice that seemed to be that of a young girl:
"Ye, sir base captain! Is this where the Devil King is by any chance? "
He turned and saw a small young woman with blue hair, with a giant hammer that she supported on the shoulder that she supported without any problems. Along with her were at least twenty men who looked like peasants uselessly using straws as protection. At least they had some merit in approaching without being seen. The peasants shouted:
"Itsuki-chan asked a question! Answer right now! "
The nameless base captain didn't know how he was supposed to react, but if they wanted to kill the Devil King, why would he stop it?
"Yes, my lord is inside trying to kill his lord. Believe me, it's not as bad as it looks! "
"Devil King was betrayed by his comrades? He must be really bad, but we are going to finish him in the name of rice! "
"Itsuki-chan came from Hokkaido without a break just for that!" The peasants shouted.
"Did you travel 700 miles non-stop from there to kill the Devil King?" The base captain was amazed.
"Do we really walk all this? Because it seems that everyone goes where they want around here, but yes, we are going to kill this bigger fish and make everyone stop fighting. "
"Well, I have no problem with that. Just enter the city and you will hear a manic laugh, so try to get closer to the sound until you find Oda Nobunaga. "
"Who is Oda Nobunaga?" Asked one of the random peasants.
"No matter what name he uses, we will defeat him with our own rice-making tools and then we can use it properly in peace!"
"It doesn't look very hygienic, but that's okay." The base captain replied.
They bravely entered through the gates of Honnoji who was in great chaos, with soldiers from two different armed forces fighting each other while some screamed because half the place was on fire, while sumo wrestlers were making strange poses as if it were a moment to do Exercises.
"The longer the war continues, the more people die, so we don't have time for that!"
They crossed the tumultuous courtyard to the gate that led to the next location, but it was protected for a base captain. Itsuki replied:
"Ye, you are a lot like the nameless base captain! Now get out of the way in the name of rice! "
The foolish doorman decided it was the best time to get the katana out of its sheath, but Itsuki knocked him down with a heavy hammer that made the man fly to the gate that opened because of the impact.
And so I continued on through some turbulent courtyards until the path was blocked by some debris and a convenient ramp led to the top of the stairs. Without thinking twice, Itsuki and her followers went up and found Nohime and Mori Ranmaru. Itsuki questioned him:
"Where's the Devil King? Are you going to stop this mess or am I going to have to resolve this on my own? "
"As if we were going to take you to him! It is already very stupid that we let Mitsuhide fight Nobunaga, we don't need to make things worse by letting you through! " Ranmaru replied.
"If you let me pass, things will get better for the rest of Japan!"
Suddenly, an onna bugeisha appeared from nowhere, aiming a spear at Ranmaru and Nohime who complained:
Around Honnoji, it seemed a calm night as if there was no surprise attack. The poor nameless base captain of the Akechi clan, who was supposed to serve as a backup, waited on an isolated base. He was excited to help his lord kill the Devil King, but Mitsuhide just laughed and told him to stay out of the action because he loved to upset everyone.
He had decided that maybe it would be better to just nap during waking time while the other disposable mooks snored. Until he heard a voice that seemed to be that of a young girl:
"Ye, sir base captain! Is this where the Devil King is by any chance? "
He turned and saw a small young woman with blue hair, with a giant hammer that she supported on the shoulder that she supported without any problems. Along with her were at least twenty men who looked like peasants uselessly using straws as protection. At least they had some merit in approaching without being seen. The peasants shouted:
"Itsuki-chan asked a question! Answer right now!"
The nameless base captain didn't know how he was supposed to react, but if they wanted to kill the Devil King, why would he stop it?
"Yes, my lord is inside trying to kill his lord. Believe me, it's not as bad as it looks!"
"Devil King was betrayed by his comrades? He must be really bad, but we are going to finish him in the name of rice!"
"Itsuki-chan came from Hokkaido without a break just for that!" The peasants shouted.
"Did you travel 700 miles non-stop from there to kill the Devil King?" The base captain was amazed.
"Do we really walk all this? Because it seems that everyone goes where they want around here, but yes, we are going to kill this bigger fish and make everyone stop fighting. "
"Well, I have no problem with that. Just enter the city and you will hear a manic laugh, so try to get closer to the sound until you find Oda Nobunaga."
"Who is Oda Nobunaga?" Asked one of the random peasants.
"No matter what name he uses, we will defeat him with our own rice-making tools and then we can use it properly in peace!"
"It doesn't look very hygienic, but that's okay." The base captain replied.
They bravely entered through the gates of Honnoji who was in great chaos, with soldiers from two different armed forces fighting each other while some screamed because half the place was on fire, while sumo wrestlers were making strange poses as if it were a moment to do Exercises.
"The longer the war continues, the more people die, so we don't have time for that!"
They crossed the tumultuous courtyard to the gate that led to the next location, but it was protected for a base captain. Itsuki replied:
"Ye, you are a lot like the nameless base captain! Now get out of the way in the name of rice!"
The foolish doorman decided it was the best time to get the katana out of its sheath, but Itsuki knocked him down with a heavy hammer that made the man fly to the gate that opened because of the impact. And so, she continued on through some turbulent courtyards until the path was blocked by some debris and a convenient ramp led to the top of the stairs. Without thinking twice, Itsuki and her followers went up and found Nohime and Mori Ranmaru. Itsuki questioned him:
"Where's the Devil King? Are you going to stop this mess or am I going to have to resolve this on my own?"
"As if we were going to take you to him! It is already very stupid that we let Mitsuhide fight Nobunaga, we don't need to make things worse by letting you through!" Ranmaru replied.
"If you let me pass, things will get better for the rest of Japan!"
Suddenly, an onna bugeisha appeared from nowhere, aiming a spear at Ranmaru and Nohime who complained:
"Where did you come from? Aren't you too young to be awake at this hour?"
"I am Gracia Hosokawa, my father is going to kill Devil King!"
"Girl, you don't look much like him!" Ranmaru disdained.
"Unfortunately, it will take a century for producers to include me in this story because they only care about those two ever, so I decided to come up with a generic model! Girl, hurry up ... What?"
Itsuki had already jumped to the other side of the roof, waving to Gracia to show gratitude, but she preferred to go quickly, after all the harvest time was coming. She reached the burning palace, where two evil laughs could be heard, which was perhaps supposed to be scary, but it felt more like a laughing contest with crazy old people who had nothing better to do. Itsuki, with her hammer, caused a rapid snowstorm that melted over the palace, leaving everything soaked and she entered. Apparently, the palace was not well built because it appeared to be just a large courtyard and in the centre was Oda Nobunaga and Akechi Mitsuhide, who stopped laughing to look at the little intruder.
"Ye, troublemaker samurai! Prepare to die in the name of rice!"
While Itsuki was getting ready to throw the hammer, Mitsuhide laughed:
"Killing you would be rewarding, but today I have very special prey! Don't worry, soon I will pay attention to you after having the sadistic pleasure of killing the ..."
Mitsuhide was knocked down by a flying hammer. It was impossible to be sure if he was too distracted or he wanted to taste the hammer's strength from the start, since he seemed satisfied in some way. Oda Nobunaga scoffed:
"You lost the hammer! What you want to do in the face of the Devil King ..."
In an instant, Itsuki approached him and started slapping him by rotating her arms as if she were excavating an invisible wall. For some reason it was impossible to dodge, but then she punched hard, throwing Nobunaga on top of Mitsuhide who tried to get up and they fell over. Itsuki lifted the hammer which increased in size and hammered the two troublemakers until it looked like they were all broken bones, although Mitsuhide looked like he was enjoying himself. Then Itsuki threw a giant snowball that took them both to the other side of the yard, crushing the two against the walls that started to collapse, but Itsuki was already running away from the place.
At the entrance to the palace she found Oichi, naturally sad, along with a ghost girl who had died more than thirty-five years ago, but paradoxically happier than Oichi. Oichi grunted:
"Did you kill my brother when I was coming to do this?"
"Don't worry, ma'am! At least I saved you from being a fratricide! And who is this ghost girl?"
"I'm Tsuruhime, I came to help kill the Devil King, but it looks like you already did that. How about we help kill a certain pirate and a vegetable head?"
"Yes, but first I need to make sure that those two troublemakers are not coming back!"
"Don't worry, I already got rid of them." Gracia appeared from nowhere, carrying two bags that could or might not be the bodies of Nohime and Ranmaru.
"No, I mean those in there! But thanks for the help, I will share our rice with you all!"
Fortunately it was possible to see that those two were still unconscious without having to enter again, so Itsuki started jumping on her hammer, summoning a huge snowstorm that fell just over Honnoji's palace, burying the sadist and the Devil King in a once and for all. Then the three, with the peasants howling at her names throughout the trip, set out on a new journey to end the chaos
N/A: For those who did not understand the joke about Tsuruhime being a ghost is that historically she died in 1547, while the Incident in Honnoji was in 1582, but Basara is not the type who cares about historical accuracy, but it is still a great anachronism.
Furthermore, Oichi sometimes seems to be the type to speak to the dead and Tsuruhime is one of the few who notices her existence.