For a meek woman, she certainly did know how to argue and wasn't afraid to with him. That was the first argument in a while that hadn't ended in someone leaving the room frightened. He had been holding back his anger immensely, but in the end, he wasn't as angry as he was frustrated. Hinata was being logical, and it was hard to argue against. If everyone came at him like that, he would get things done faster.
Gaara even needed to work more like that. Years of fighting out of anger, being responded to with fear and hate rather than logical counters had made him ill-prepared to counter her.
Afterward, she didn't leave angry, storm out, or do what he had expected most, cry. She stood her ground and hit, then stayed to patch the wounded. That was the logical side.
The emotional side was her stance. When he noticed her shift in standing from casual to formal, it had hurt him emotionally. He didn't like her closing off like that. He enjoyed her openness both in conversation and with body language. It was calming and comforting to have someone be so open. The thought that she was closing him off and that she might stay like that was honestly scary.
However, instead of closing him off, she asked him to spend time with her. He stood to ignore his paperwork for a while, following her suddenly cheerful form out the door.
He simply didn't understand her emotions or their effect on his. She could cause absolute irritation then douse him in cold water. His days gained interest with her in them.
She slowed, allowing him to take pace with her, and she smiled up at him as they walked.
"What's your honest opinion of the wedding planning?" She asked. He remembered her adverse reaction to some traditions. He hoped Temari would be respectful of his fiancee's embarrassment and cultural difference.
"I have attended worse." He assured her.
"I like the feast being the big event. It takes some of the direct attention away." She mumbled. Her cheeks glowed in the dim lights in the hall.
Unlike most brides, she would want the attention off of her so she could enjoy the event. His fiancee was not thirsty for attention. She was truly marrying the wrong man to be away from the center of it.
She continued. "It's like the village is celebrating something more important than a simple marriage."
"Simple?" He asked. Weren't marriages a big deal?
She stared at him for a moment processing his one-word question. "Well, I don't see weddings as big of a moment as most." She explained. "The engagement is the moment they chose to spend their lives together. Sometimes even before that." He couldn't see her hands, but he could feel her sliding her ring around her finger. "A wedding is like a funeral, it's for the family to be joyful or mournful."
"You're comparing a wedding with a funeral." He commented.
"Well, a funeral isn't for the dead. It's for the living to come together and cry and mourn. A wedding isn't as much for the couple as those watching to feel happy for the joined couple. That can be beneficial in a way, but it doesn't change the outcome in the end."
He hadn't thought of it that way. She was full of odd ideas.
"Then why did you agree to have one?" He wondered that for a while. She had opened the door for Temari to take over but had rejected a wedding in her own culture.
"Well, there are benefits to this one." He didn't see how there's was a difference. She was sure to continue to explain to him. "By having this wedding, it is not only a union between us but a union of me with Suna culture. I'm accepting you and your culture entirely by marrying you this way rather than not having one."
"So it's political?" He wasn't sure if he liked the idea. There were other ways.
"No, it's kinda selfish." She mumbled.
"I don't understand."
"I want to be accepted into your culture, and this the best way to start. I hope it will also bring some acceptance. If the people see that I am willing to embrace their culture, maybe they wouldn't all see me as a horrible foreigner." She explained, he understood the idea.
"Not selfish, just practical." He commented.
She considered it but added. "I disagree."
"That is fine." She smiled at him. They didn't need to agree on everything. That would make no sense. If these minor disagreements could be easily ignored, maybe arguments in the future could be resolved easily as well.
They walked the hall aimlessly, something he had never done on purpose before. It was a lot more pleasant than doing it because he was merely restless. "Why don't you sleep?" She asked, looking up from her feet.
"Shakuku made it difficult in the past, though I have better control now, it has caused lasting effects." He explained, he didn't need to wonder how she knew. She could have been told or figured out. She was up before everyone as well as he was. However, she went to bed at a reasonable time for it.
"Have you tried medication?" She wondered. Why was she interested?
"Yes, it has little effect, and medications strong enough have addictive qualities." She nodded and appeared to be thinking.
"Would you let me try?" She asked. This raised several questions in his mind. Why did she think she needed permission before telling him what she would do? How did she intend to? And why did she bother since his sleeping pattern didn't affect her?
He found straight asking his questions the easiest options with her. "Why do you believe you need to ask?"
Her cheeks reddened, and she started to fidget with her ring. "Well you don't need me butting into your health really, and it's evasive."
"To ask?"
"No, the process, it requires minor contact, but contact nonetheless." Did she think she was not allowed to touch him? It wasn't any longer that no one was allowed to touch him. It was simply that no one did.
"I will not reject contact from you." He assured her.
Hinata's cheeks became darker. He did not understand her embarrassment. Maybe it was she did not want to touch him. The thought hurt. She had been so far different than others around him. Was she the same in this sense?
Gaara got his answer soon after when he felt a light touch to his resting fingers. He flinched, looking down at their pale hands as her thin calloused fingers curled around his larger uncalloused ones. He felt warm? Not just in his hand, his chest and face. This didn't make much sense. Was this a reaction to a female touching him or only to her touching him? Why did she have such an effect?
He understood the idea and closed his hand around hers. Looking up from their hands to her. She had her head down as far as it would go hiding her face in her bangs and her eyes clenched shut. Was she feeling something similar, was this embarrassment he was feeling, was it bad?
He couldn't tell. From what he understood, embarrassment could be a bad feeling. This, however, felt pleasant to have her hand tucked in his so he would decide later.
She didn't speak for a while, so when he decided he disliked the silence, he ended it.
"Have you and Kankuro spoke of your living arrangements after the wedding. He only briefly mentioned the option but not your opinion on either." Her face turned shades again. If she got any darker, he would start to worry.
"Well, I didn't want to impose, though I know what is expected of me as a wife..." She shivered with nerves, and he was heavily confused. Did she think he would not be willing to share his room, he barely used it, or was she scared of sleeping in the same room as him. Why was she shaking?
"I don't mind sharing my room with you. I barely use it. You're welcome to it." She stared at him blankly before starting to giggle. He felt he had missed something.
"Thank you." She covered her mouth with the fingertips of her free hand, controlling the laugh.
He left it alone. Her face was returning to normal, so he would leave it be.
"And thank you for walking with me, Gaara." She stopped, he looked up to his office door. He didn't feel like going back in.
She slipped her hand out of his pulling it to her chest. Could he ask her to stay? He wasn't sure what she did after their meetings.
He looked at the door and opened it standing aside for her. She looked at him, confused, and stepped in. He closed the door and crossed the room to his desk. Now, what?