Chapter 5: The Elevator

A little later than usual due to procrastination, but it's here nonetheless. Thank you all for the support, and I'm glad you are enjoying this story as much as I am.

Luigi's Mansion 3 is owned by Nintendo.

"Thanks for delivering my dinner." Ghoulanu said to Johnny, as the buff ghost put down an entire table full of food in front of the guest's bed. "I just like eating food while on my bed, is all."

"No prob, bob. Nothing less than perfect for the coolest dude in the hotel." The swimmer ghost said as he wiped sweat off his brow from carrying an entire table. "Besides, you got permission from Soulfflé to do this, and he hates it when people don't eat food where it's supposed to."

"You just have to know what to say to people, and before you know it, they'll give you anything you want. Now get out, you big lug, my food's getting cold." Ghoulanu shoved the swimmer out the door and closed it behind him. He eyed all of the delicious foods that were on the table, particularly the salad. "Why do they call it a Caesar salad? It's got nothing to do with him. That's just- that's just stupid." He grabbed the plate of salad and took it to the bathroom, dumping it all in the toilet. He also saw a rubber duckie in the bathtub, which he also tossed inside. "Well, trash goes were trash goes: down the toilet thing." He pulled the flusher and watched as the offending objects were flushed into the pipes. But he noticed something strange coming from it. He put his ear to the pipes of the toilet, and listening closely, he could hear… wedding music?

As any normal person would react, he decided to ignore the strange event and continue with his dinner.

Deep, deep under the hotel, in the labyrinthian pipelines of the Boilerworks, a full-on wedding was taking place. Several miniature tables with miniature cutleries were strewn across the floor, all tastefully decorated with the appropriate ; a reception table full of random knick knacks to represent gifts, and a large group impeccably dressed guests, all for the wedding between Quackena Dunsworth and Sir Harold Quackington the Third.

"Do you, Harold Quackington," Clem said as he floated in front of the two ducks. "take Quackena Dunsworths hand in holy matrimony, in sickness and in health?"

"…"

"And do you, Quackena Dunsworth, take Harold Quackingtons hand in holy matrimony, in sickness and in health?"

"…"

"You may now kiss the duck!" Clem grabbed the two rubber duckies and made them kiss each other, to the imaginary applause of all the other duckies attending the wedding. With a satisfied nod, he went over to the boombox and turned it off, signifying the end of the wedding. "Well that's the end a that. A good way ta spend time down here if Ah do say so myself." He started gathering all the little duckies as he thought about what to do next. Perhaps he should do Duck Wars: The Quack Awakens? That should probably keep him busy for the other 24 hours left of the guests stay.

"Ah tell ya, Harold, one day, Morty's gonna have ta make a movie out of my ideas. He's missin out on a lotta good shit." The mechanic idly chatted with the duck in his hand, only to hear a rattling sound coming from the pipes. The mechanic sighed to himself. Probably another ghost flushed more stuff down the toilets again.

"If this is anotha one of Serpci's pots, A'm gonna give that lady an earful on toilet etiquette. The pipes can't handle this stuff going through them."

Spinning one of the many valves to switch the flow of the water, Clem watched as a large amount of salad poured out of the pipes. Last he checked, salad was not able to make noise in pipes, so once he turned the valve back to its original position, he began to sift through the mushy salad to find the culprit. He had put his hands into more disgusting things than sewer salad, sure. But what he found inside of it was something that would go down in history as the most horrible thing he has ever found.

"And he has the audacity to call me some sort of attention seeking egomaniac! What about me makes people think I'm like that? I'm awesome." Nikki vented to a beleaguered Dr. Potter as they made their way to the elevator.

"I don't know, Nikki. Let me just have a talk with him and get this all straightened out." He pushed the button to the 15th floor. "Besides, I want to discuss a few things with him. Haven't you noticed that things have been weird lately. Like, say, somethings come over everyone ever since Graves arrived?"

The middle child of the magician trio hummed to herself in thought. "No, not really. I was kinda busy plotting revenge to pay attention to my surroundings. Why do you ask, anyway?"

"Some of my gardener goobs are acting weird. They've been yammering on and on about how great Ghoulanu Graves is, and I'm pretty sure none of them know what movies are."

"That sound pretty weird. I bet he has something to do with it! An even better reason to get revenge on him!"

The elevator doors opened up, but the two noticed that they weren't at the 15th floor. Rather, they were in the Boilerworks. Someone had called the elevator from there and it decided to go down there first. When the doors had fully parted, they saw that the someone was Clem, who was looking mighty angry at the moment. The mechanic ghost floated into the elevator, standing between the magician and the botanist.

"Uuuhh, Clem?" Nikki tried to address the angry mechanic. "Is something wrong?"

Clem wordlessly pulled out something from inside his pocket. Or rather, someone: Jennifer, Clem's most valuable ducky!

"Is… is that Jennifer? What happened to her?" Potter asked Clem.

"That maniac, Graves flushed her down the toilet!" He revealed, to the gasps of horror from Nikki and Potter. "Ah entrusted that man with her safety, and he goes ahead and treats her like some trash ta flush down the toilet!" Clem lightly petted the poor ducks head. "Ya can just hear how traumatized she is!"

"…" The duck said.

"A'm gonna give that darn man a piece of my mind. Nikki, ya remember the Paint Splasher?"

"That's what I wanted to do! But Potter," She said as she glared at the titular botanist. "wants us to deal with it like "reasonable adults" or some stupid shit like that. I have some paint cans stocked up under my bed. We can get my sisters and then deal with the guy together."

"At least let me have a talk with the man. Then you can have your revenge." Potter suggested. The mechanic and magician begrudgingly accepted the suggestion and waited in silence as Nikki pushed the 11th floor button. They watched as the buttons lit up one by one, climbing up from B2 to F11…

Only to stop at F6, Castle MacFrights. The doors parted to reveal MacFrights and Fishook discussing something between each other. They both entered the elevator, casually greeting the current occupants, and watched as the doors closed in front of them.

"Hey, laddies, do ye all think people are acting strange lately?" Fishook asked suddenly. "Cuz lemme tell ya, Morty just said the weirdest thing to me earlier." He took the others expectant stares as a yes. "Ok, so,"

"I was rehearsing my performance fer tomorrow with Morty, and things were going pretty well."

As the goobs announce the arrival of the Dread Captain Fishook, he lunged out of the water and onto the ship, glaring menacingly at his audience of one ghost, Morty.

"I ask Morty what he thinks, and he says to me the weirdest thing I've ever heard come out of his mouth."

Morty gives them all a thumbs up. "That was great!"

The other occupants stared incredulously at the Captain.

"That… that was it? No comparing you to "a star rising from the horizon" or something?" Nikki inquired.

"No, nothing like that. Just "that was great" and nothing else. I think somethings wrong with him."

"Aye, even my own goob servants are acting strangely. I saw them taking things from my armories, yammering on about how "the guest would love the gifts he asked for." This Ghoulanu Graves fella is up to something nefarious." MacFrights added.

"That movie thing you showed didn't mention that he was capable of enchanting people. Combined with his assassin skills, I think he might be the deadliest thing in the whole hotel!"

"Again, the movie wasn't real, everything in it was staged, the actor is not, in fact, a trained assassin." Potter explained, exasperation clear in his voice.

"Maybe, but I do remember reading online that he did actual training for his stunts, so he could have actual skill and stuff." Nikki pointed out. "Either way, all I'm hearing right now is that this guy deserves to be drowned in a tub of paint."

"Actually, I believe I have an idea as to who this man really is."

The current residents of the elevator screamed in surprise when Serpci piped up from her side of the elevator. None of them had actually noticed the queen enter, too busy discussing the strange goings ons in the hotel to notice.

"Dr. Potter, you remember how he referred to me as "Queen of the sands" earlier this morning?"

"Hmmm, yeah. I did think that was weird. You never even gave him your name." He realized. "Plus, the way he talked when you gave him condolences for his dog who died in a movie and not in real life- " He said that last part while staring at the three oldest ghosts in the elevator, who didn't really seem to understand the reason why he was doing that. "It was almost like he didn't know what he was talking about. Like he was making up stuff on the spot."

"Indeed. I've been spying on him during the other performances- by the way, Nikki, you and your sisters were quite impressive. I loved your trick in particular."

"Thank you!"

"And I keep seeing him intercept the other staff and talk to them. I even saw him head into Amadeus' dressing room in the middle of his performance and come out of there completely unscathed!"

"Really? Not even a scratch on 'em?" Clem asked.

"No. In fact, Amadeus looked happier than usual. He was actually smiling through the rest of the recital." Serpci said. "And here is the important part: I've seen this all before."

After finishing his well-earned meal, Ghoulanu examined one of the swords he had requested the goobs to bring to him.

"Not something I'm used to, but it'll do. Now, what to do now?" He spoke out loud, mulling over what else he could be doing. He pocketed the sword and decided to head towards the elevator. Perhaps he could check out one of the floors he hadn't explored yet.

He reached the elevator hall, called the elevator, and waited as the numbers slowly ticked down to floor 15. The elevator doors parted, and the occupant greeted him with cheery delight.

"Mister Graves! How can I help you on this fine evening?" Steward asked the guest, who entered the elevator and started examining the buttons.

"Do you have any advice as to what floor I should visit? I'm kinda bored at the moment."

"May I suggest the Unnatural History Museum? We have a caveman ghost as part of the exhibits."

"Oooh, caveman ghost. That sounds useful. Lead the way, Steward." He told the bellhop ghost, who pressed the 9th floor button. "Oh, and after you drop me off, could you do this one little thing for me? I need you to take my car and park it in a nice, secluded spot where no one can find it."

"Of course, sir. Anything for our guest."

A short one this time, but I'll make up for it by working on the next chapter now rather than after posting something else.

Up next: The ghosts run an investigation and make a plan.