Eto sat in a stiff chair, staring at the tiled ground. She looked up the stark white hallway that was glowing with artificial light. It smelled of sickness and death here. She had never been to this hospital before, but she knew this was the place Juuzou had been admitted to. The people at the front desk had been gracious to allow her to wait in the hallway outside the room Juuzou was in until the doctor finished talking to him. After that, she was allowed to go see him.
The doctor walked out of the room, and held the door open for Eto.
"You may see the patient now," he said.
"Thank you," she said, and walked into the room.
Juuzou was laying on a hospital bed with all sorts of equipment surrounding him. His head was propped up with a pillow. His red eyes were sunken and his skin was ghostly pale.
"Sen," he said, smiling a little when he saw her.
Sen's heart twisted. She was the reason he was laying here like this. As she walked over to the side of his bed, she felt the tears begin to rush to her eyes. She tried to fight it, but soon her cheeks were wet.
"Juuzou," she said softly, taking his hand in hers. "How are you holding up?" she asked, choking back a sob.
"I don't really feel pain, remember," Juuzou said, smiling a little. "The doctor says I'm going to be just fine. Don't cry!"
Sen only cried harder.
"Hey," he said. "I'm going to be fine. You don't have to worry about that."
Little did Juuzou know, Sen was sobbing not because she was worried about him getting better (which she wasn't; Eto knew her medical stuff. Juuzou was going to be fine), but because of the guilt that consumed her. Juuzou's soothing words eventually calmed her.
"You good now?" Juuzou asked as Sen wiped away tears.
She nodded.
"Good," he grinned. "And don't worry about it. It's not like it's your fault or anything."
And the tears returned.
Sen spent her day sitting in the hospital with Juuzou, and they talked about everything they were going to do together when Suzuya got out of the hospital.
"When you're better," Sen sniffled. "I'm taking you to a candy shop and I'm going to buy you whatever you want."
When it was time for Sen to go, she stood up from where she was sitting next to his bed and kissed Suzuya on the forehead.
"I liked the other kiss more," Juuzou giggled.
Sen rolled her eyes and chucked. "I did too, but right now you're hurt."
"So what about when I'm not hurt anymore?" Juuzou said, giving the author a quirky smile.
Sen just smiled and him and winked. She walked into the hallway, and as soon as she was out of Suzuya's earshot, burst into tears.
That night, Eto stood in another abandoned building that was also an Aogiri base, pondering a question out loud.
"What does love feel like?" she said, the words echoing through the empty building. "What exactly is it?"
The day of the raid, Eto had told herself that she loved Juuzou, but did she really?
"Love is an intense feeling of deep affection," Eto said, reciting the dictionary definition. "But how can you tell how deep that affection is? How can you tell if you love somebody if you've never loved before?"
Eto paused.
"Have I ever loved before?"
Eto spun around, twirling her magenta dress. She examined her bandaged hands. She wanted to ask someone what love was, but who? Tatara? No, he wouldn't understand. Noro? No, not him either.
"I love my mother, and I never even met her," Eto said thoughtfully. "I care about my step father, but do I love him?"
She looked down at her feet.
"His white hair, red eyes… Do I love Juu-."
"Are you okay?" someone suddenly asked, interpreting Eto's monologue.
She spun around to see a tall man in a white suit standing on the opposite side of the room. The middle section of his blond hair was combed back. His red eyes were brought out by his dark eyeshadow.
"Naki," Eto said, relieved it wasn't anybody all that important.
"Why are you talking to yourself about love?" he asked, cocking his head.
For some reason, Eto made the split second decision to trust Naki. "I'm trying to figure out if I love somebody or not," she admitted.
"Who?" Naki asked, eyes widening.
"Doesn't matter," Eto said, beckoning him with her hand as she went to go look for a place where they could sit and talk.
"Is it Tatara?" Naki gasped as he ran to catch up with her.
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Oh," Naki frowned. "I mean I thought you were talking about him. You said white hair and red eyes."
"It's not him."
Eto sat down on a piece of ceiling that had fallen, and Naki sat down beside her.
"Is it eyepatch?"
"No."
"What about Ayato?"
"Definitely not."
"Well then who is it?"
"It doesn't matter," Eto said. She was quiet for a few moments. "Have you ever loved anybody?"
"I didn't know my parents. My big bro looked after me. I love boss."
"Like want to kiss him love?"
"No, not like that," Naki said, wrinkling his nose.
"Like do you think anybody's pretty so you want to kiss them?" Eto asked, feeling like her love conversation with Naki was going down the drain.
"I have some very pretty servants," Naki said thoughtfully. "Especially servant thirteen. But I don't care about her though."
"Then I guess I'm stuck," Eto sighed.
"Well, what do you feel about him?" Naki asked, fiddling with an earring.
"Well," Eto paused. "When I see things that make me happy, I think about how happy it would make him. I feel really happy and comfortable with him. I never get tired of his company. And all I want is for him to be happy."
Naki just stared at her.
"Have you kissed him?"
Eto was thankful for her bandages so that Naki could not see how hard she was blushing. "Yes."
"Are you going to have a baby?" Naki asked.
"No."
Naki was quiet for a moment. "Well maybe you do love him."
"Perhaps."
Naki stood up and began to walk away. Just as he was about to walk out of the room and into a hallway, he looked back at Eto.
"If you do love him, don't wait to long," he said softly. "You may be the one eyed owl, but that doesn't make you invincible. And I don't know who he is, but I can tell you he's not invincible either. Because if he really is the one for you, and something happens to him, he'll never be able to be replaced."