Chapter 31

'Sooner or later that would have happened, what were you expecting? That it will have lasted forever..? When will you learn that life was a bitch and still is a bitch?' Elsa is looking at her own reflection on her bedroom's window. She can't rest and she's hunted by the memories of the day which is reaching its end. She would have wanted that everything went differently, she wasn't expecting a situation like that for sure. She wouldn't want Anna to know the truth or to get closer to it, not like that at least, she would have preferred when she was ready herself. it hasn't been easy for her when Kristoff and Kai found out the true story behind Hans and her. But they had to know, since how the situation is.

Looking at the brighter side, there aren't secrets anymore between them. Everyone knows why there's such hate on her coming from that man. When Kristoff faced the truth he was tempted to not resuscitate his patient in case he would have had another heart failure, so was Kai, he was so close to discharge and move him to another hospital because he didn't want to have to deal with a person like that, especially if he has done something pretty serious to some of his employees or simply to some other human being.

Etta senses there's something that is upsetting her owner, so, paw after paw, she reaches the blonde's bed and she jumps over it, making some silence company to her and slowly she gets closer to her belly in order to give her a simple contact and warm.

The woman's reaction isn't immediately, it's like she's in some kind of trance, softly her hand lays on the cat's back and stays there, once in a while it makes some regular movement, but in a completely absent way. Her mind is totally in another place, remembering the day's events.

'And know what the hell do I do?' Elsa has not a single clue on what to do, she stays petrified on the couch staring with a frightened look at the redhead. 'How much does she knows? She seems she knows he's more than a criminal and that.. we're connected in some way..' the blonde tries to understand what to do, in her mind starts taking life infinite situations on how the conversation can develop. No one of each seems ending well. It won't take long to start and panic, have her heartbeat racing, but what she's hearing is an heart that piece by piece is shattering and she can't, she don't know how and what to do to stop it. She feels like she's been betrayed, like this situation shouldn't never been happened, like there's something terribly wrong. She senses the urge to take and run away, leaving the girl there alone.

"I.." words don't come out of the doctor's mouth. She doesn't understand anything, it's like anything isn't under her control anymore.

"Elsa.. list-" Anna tries to repair at the possible damage she thinks she has done.

"No..no! Don't say anything.. don't speak.. please." Her voice is broken, weak and trembling. She hates herself for being in this total state of panic. She stands up and with a lot of insecurity tries to place herself, tries to search where the sink is, in order to place there the mug, but as soon as she reaches it, her hands become so weak that can't hold the ceramic object and it smashes into pieces on the floor in front of the sink.

She stays frozen in place staring at her own feet for a while.

In that moment Anna runs towards her, worried about the situation, even if she isn't understanding anything either, she only knows that her rambling wasn't a good thing. She picks up the fragments, the blonde is still petrified. Once they're put in the garbage, she tries to catch the blonde's attention placing her hand on her shoulder.

"Elsa.. talk to me, please, what is happening..?"

But Elsa can't do it. She can't be with Anna in that moment, not with everything that is happening, it's too much for her. It's a too much fresh injury.

"No.. I'm sorry.. I have to go."

"Elsa, wait…!" the younger woman tries to stop her, she doesn't want to leave her alone, she can see how she's broken and she wants to be helpful, even if she knows that she could be the reason why of the current situation.

"No, Anna.. I said no." And she runs away leaving the redhead alone and confuse.

"Oh Etta.. why has life to be so cruel to me..?" Tears start falling down her face followed by a pain the chest. It's like her life is shattering in her hands, and again, she only wanted to have a bit more time.

Running through the hospital's hallway Elsa bumps into Anna's mother.

"Oh God.. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.." the doctor apologises trying not to engage the other woman's look.

"Elsa, is everything alright..?" Gerda asks her sensing since from the beginning that there's something doesn't feel right. But the blonde shakes simply the head and she leaves, this time walking, saying her goodbye waving her hand.

She understands she isn't in the conditions to work, so she decides to look for Kai and ask him for a permission to leave earlier. She needs some alone time. To try to recompose herself, to find a solution.

Summers family is reunited in the living room, in silence. Kristoff is with them because of his uncle's will. The day's events have shaken everyone, no one is excluded. It's incredible how much can happen in such a short time.

"I didn't have any idea.." Anna keeps repeating with her head between her hands and staring at nothing. "I still can't believe it.."

"Poor girl.. suffer so much because of that.. miserable man!" like the daughter, at hearing what happened, Gerda remained shocked, without a word. Even if the woman knows the reason why the blonde acted like that in the morning, she doesn't believe it's right that they know everything. In her opinion it's something personal and it's Elsa's job to let other people, especially those she cares about, know about it, at her own time.

Anna should have heard the story directly from the person concerned and not from her father and her cousin. But things went like that and now there's nothing she can do about it. It's not like a Word page, where you can take a sentence, a paragraph and delete it forever. Life doesn't work like that. It sucks, but that's how things are.

Kristoff finds her cousin alone in the Relax room, she's in a completely state of absence and he doesn't understand what happened, but when the redhead tells him the facts, he understands and he's a bit uncertain on what to do and how do deal the situation. It's almost lunch hour so he decides to bring Anna with himself to Kai and Gerda, who are going to the cafeteria. Once all together, after having taken something to eat and having taken a place to sit in a quiet zone, the chief of surgery breaks the silence.

"All right, let's cut the bull's head, what's happening? Between this morning and now there's an incredible change in the atmosphere." He rises an eyebrow scrutinizing each one. Everyone unsure about who should begin, so Gerda decides to go first.

"Well.. I bumped into Elsa.. she seemed pretty upset about something and, I don't know.. that left me puzzled. That's all, she doesn't seem herself."

"Ah yes, she contacted me before, she took the rest of the day off for personal reasons.. she didn't go into details. What about you two?"

"I found Anna and.. well.." Kristoff doesn't know what to say more, he hasn't think through about it. He can't say that she was in the Relax, why would she be there? And he can't say she had an argument with Elsa. He thinks about himself as a stupid for not knowing what the hell do.

"I.." to Anna it seems like she's still with her blonde, trying to talk to her. "I think I did something bad.."

Now Kai and Gerda look at her confused not understanding what their daughter is saying.

"What do you mean, darling?" The mother says with a calm and soft voice.

"I accidentally heard Kristoff's patient and I wanted to investigate a bit, you know how I am, don't you? I can't mind my business.. knowing that Elsa wasn't on the case I was curious to know if he was a relative or something.. then I went to the Relax, looking for her and trying to find out anything.. obviously I started talking without thinking and that's a.. sensitive topic to her, and.. I think I hurt her. I think, I believe it's my fault." The redhead has a broken voice, she almost can't say those last words and she's about to burst out in tears. Immediately Gerda gets closer to her daughter trying to give her some comfort whispering kind things, while the husband watches the two. In the last period of time he noticed that there was a friendship that was starting to grow between her and the surgeon, he knows that the redhead is also very sensitive, despite being a talkative person that often doesn't think before speaking, and knowing or suspecting to be the cause of someone's sadness makes her feel bat. But never this much.

'One thing at the time..' the man thinks, then turns to Kristoff and sends him a meaningful look, that he understands without wasting any seconds.

"I know this should be done, but I see that the situation is putting you in a difficult situation, Anna.. so after we finish our shift, we'll talk about it at home."

Doctor Summers is still feeling dirty after having shared those private information about his co-worker to his family. But something inside told him to talk about it with his daughter, to let her know what was happening, maybe that's because he doesn't want to see her little girl suffers, maybe he needed to talk about it with someone. The thing is that now the secret is revealed. But at least he avoided some details, maybe that could be a point for his dignity?

"No. It's not. I fucked up.'

Anna stands up from the couch and decides to go in her room, leaving the other alone, but her mother follows her.

"Anna, darling.. do you want to talk about it?" they sit on the edge of the bed after having closed the door.

"Mom.. he's a monster! Do you know that Elsa has a scar..? He did that to her! it wasn't enough having.. oh god mom.. how can such things happens!?" the woman doesn't know what to say, because she doesn't have an answer for that question. She doesn't even know how to comfort her own daughter, she feels so powerless, she watches her crying, suffering and that makes her understand how much she care about that woman, that her feelings are truly deep.

"I don't know why some people do certain things, I'm not going to lie to you.. I don't understand it and probably I'll never will, I just know that's an ignoble thing to do. Elsa is such a good person, she didn't deserve it, and.. I didn't know about the scar, I think that's what made you investigate, you wanted to know the story.."

"Yes.. I mean.. she told me something.. but not details, she told me she was trying to help someone.. God.. you should have heard the voice of that so-called man.. if he was in front of me, I wouldn't know what I'd do to him." The redhead's voice shifts from sad and broken to angry and full of resentment. Even if she has just told that she'd be unsure on her actions, she know really well what she would do and a part of her really wants to face him casually .

"Mom, I want to go to her.. but.. it seems she doesn't want to talk with me.. she doesn't reply to my texts.."

"It's like her injury reopened, she's hurting.. having seen that detective, your words.. made her think about something she thought she was free from.. if it was up to me, I'd drive you to her, you know? I just don't want you to be upset if she wants to stay alone."

"I think that if she really wants that.. I'd leave her alone.. but I just want to know if she's okay.. I mean.. oh god I know she's not but-"

"I understood." Gerda smiles softly. "Take your coat."

"But.. what about dad?" Anna asks worried and surprised.

"I'll talk with him later, don't worry, ok?" the woman is about to open the door when she turns for a second. "And everything will be alright."

Once at home Elsa goes straight to bed in tears. The phone keeps vibrating during the day, it's Anna who's trying to reach her and know how she is. At first her first thought was that that man was calling her, but when she read the contact name was relieved. But at the same time she didn't feel like to reply.

Even Etta is worried and tries to make her alive again, sort of. She jumps on the furniture trying to catch her attention and to be chased after, but nothing. It's like the blonde is a zombie now. She spends hours on the bed, between tears, shouts, silence and then everything starts again, in circle. She fell asleep maybe a few times, but not for more than an half an hour. She hasn't even eaten anything, she's there locked in her room facing the window and seeing how the sky loses his brightness, just the same thing that's happening inside of herself.

'What the hell I'm doing!?' she keeps repeating in her mind. Run away. Run away from problems. Maybe it's something she's always done and she never realised it. She's afraid of dealing the past that is showing up again. She's afraid of seeing Hans. She's afraid of closing her eyes and finds him. She's afraid of staying at the hospital. She's afraid of being alone. She's afraid. And this fear is wearing her out and it is destroying everything she managed to build. A life, a job, some friends and-

The doorbell rings. Elsa is petrified for what feels like the hundredth time that day, the rational part of her knows well that it's not who she thinks it is, yet she's afraid to go and see who's there and here again, one more time, she's asking herself that question: what does she do now?

Author's Note: Hi guys! How are you doing? I lost track of the time I said this but: I'm sorry for the late.. I had some exams to prepare for the university and it was better I stayed away from English for a while in order to prepare them.. I'm sorry but I'm done! Next week I begin my third year at university..

Anyway! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter, things are getting a bit more complicated for our girls, but ehy.. that's life. I think some of you disagree with how the things went, but I had to do this, I'm sorry.. Let me know what you think about it, as always I really appreciate your comments and your support. Thank you so much!

I hope the next chapter won't take too much time.. but just know that I keep writing, so don't worry (in case you're worrying I'm leaving the story.. since I received some messages from you saying they were worried about that)

Have a wonderful weekend!

Christys