Chapter 32

The doorbell rings one more time.

Anna is in front of the front door, her mother in the car waiting and seeing what will happen next. While she's standing right there, in front of that piece of wood, various thought cross her mind, one of them is if she's doing the right thing, after all she has noticed how the woman left and didn't look out for anyone. But from the other side, she feels the need to be next to her, to try to comfort her in some way, to help her if possible.

On the other side of the door there's nothing more than silence. A silence that it isn't interrupted, not even by Etta that is next to her owner, who's standing a meter away from that wooden obstacle. She hears once again the doorbell, but she still seems to be in a sort of a trance. If possible her mind is empty from any type of thoughts, there isn't her usual voice inside of her. There's nothing, only the echo of the doorbell. So, like she hasn't control of her body, she gets near the peephole of the door and looks who is on the other side. She recognises that face so familiar and so cared for. Nothing less when she's about to touch the knob she stops herself once again and finally comes a thoughts in her mind: what do I do? She peeks another time to see if something happened, nothing. The redhead is only sighing and she's trying to rings the doorbell again, she closes her eyes and her index goes to push the button. At this action Elsa decides to open the door. She didn't even have the clarity of mind to go and check herself at the mirror, like she normally does before opening to someone.

Anna stays surprised when she sees the door opens slowly and showing inches by inches that figure she hoped so much to see. The first thing she notices is how red and swollen her eyes are, that means the blonde hadn't had a nice day, like she suspected. It's like a punch in her chest seeing that face so hurt and she only would like to give her some comfort and tell her that she isn't alone any more. But she doesn't do that. She sees how Elsa avoids eye contact, her eyes are focused on the ground, not a smile, nothing. They don't exchange a single word, the only thing that happens are the seconds that pass by.

After a bit, the blonde rises her gaze and notices a parked car in the street, she recognises it. That's the redhead's mother car, that suggests the woman is aware of what kind of relationship there's between the two.

"Anna? What are you doing here? She asks her with a low but firm voice.

"I wanted to know how you are doing.." she confesses embarrassed. She does know she could answer her sarcastically, but she doesn't care, she wants to let her understand that despite the situation, caused by herself, the redhead worried about and cares for the other woman.

The doctor stays in silence watching her, something inside her is ready to take, scream and run away, leaving the other alone thinking about how she acted before. She feels extremely hurt, and a part of her is aware that it's not entirely the young woman's fault, but on the other side, the one with the open wound, just seeing that face and hearing those words makes her want to slam the door in her face. But something stops her from doing so.

She opens completely the front door and steps beside, giving a voiceless signal to Anna to come inside.

Once in the house Anna feels ashamed, she knows how sensitive the situation is and, despite all the good intentions, she doesn't well know how to approach the other. The only thing she does is to follow the blonde's example, who's sitting on the couch, and she sits on the chair.

"I know.. I've done wrong.. I should have been more sensitive about the topic.. while I was talking I realized what I was staying and what was happening and.." Anna stops herself for a second looking at how the woman in front of her is staring absently the room, something like she doesn't want to listen to her, and yet she's in her house. The blonde gave her the permission to come inside and share the same air with her. "You're right.." at that she notices a change in that face that before looked emotionless. "There aren't excuses.. nevertheless I'm sorry for my behaviour and for hurting you.."

Silence.

This is the answer she receives for a couple of minutes. The two women are standing right there, almost in front of each other, they don't meet the other's eyes, they don't exchange a word, they don't move, they do absolutely nothing.

"You should be ore careful about what you say and how you say it. Even if it doesn't seem, words hurt and in some cases even more than actions."

"I didn't know-" and there it is, Elsa's eyes meet hers with a quick movement. The thing that surprises Anna is how they are: cold. There's a lot of anger inside of them, it's like they're on war, ready to load and fire.

"And even if you knew? That doesn't mean you can be so reckless. I don't know what you know, what you heard, what you think to know, but I do know what no matter what, before speaking it's wise to think about it, at least for a few seconds." She stands up. "Think before speak." She wants to be alone, she doesn't want to have company, it makes her angrier. "And to answer your question, I am not okay. How could I be? Ah, I would have liked to be alone. I thought it was clear. I didn't reply to any of your texts, didn't you catch the message?"

Anna knows she doesn't have the right to get mad, she knows what happened and she's aware that it's a delicate situation, she keeps telling herself this numerous times now, yet the blonde's behaviour is making something to her.

"After I became aware of those events between you and him, do you really believe I would have left you alone!? No! I wanted to be close to you, I know it must not be easy, but-"

"Really? Are you playing that card? What do you think you know? You said you're aware, so tell me. You believe you can put yourself in my shoes, but can you for real? Eh?" the redhead stays speechless, she almost bites her tongue in realisation of having said a stupid thing. "Like I suspected. So Anna, really, just as I told you not even 2 minutes ago: think before speak." Elsa walks away from her and she goes to the kitchen, in front of the sink in order to try to calm herself down, she doesn't need all this excitement and it isn't good for her. It happened what she was afraid of: Anna knows everything. The things really troubles her is that she wasn't the one telling her the truth, but with all the odds it was Kristoff or her father. She thought she could trust them.

"You've right.. I should count till 10, or 20 or 30.. and yes, I can't put myself in your shoes. I was insensitive.. I believe that.. you would have preferred you were the one to tell me and I'm sorry I became aware of it like this.. the only thing I want.. I wish.. is to understand what is going on with you, if I can be of any help.." she doesn't want all this anger, she doesn't want the situation to be this bad, she wants to be helpful, to do something and that something will be told by the blonde, because Anna isn't sure she could be make the right choice, she's never been in that kind of situation so she hasn't any kind of idea of what to do and how to behave, talk or whatever.

"I don't think you can do much right now.." she confesses still facing the sink.

"I understand.." Anna stands up catching the hint the visit is near the ending. "So, I believe it's time for me to go.."

"Yes." The doctor turns around and looks at her. "If you don't mind.. I'd like some space and time, I hope you can understand and you won't be offended if I don't reply to your texts."

The redhead just smiles at her, but clearly isn't an happy smile, it's one of those who doesn't hide very well sadness and resignation.

"Of course.." she walks towards the door and right before touching the knob, she turns a little her face. "When you want, you know where to find me.."

Gerda's car is parked, and the older woman notices how his nephew's car isn't there any more, so she stops her daughter from getting out. Once inside they won't have this privacy anymore. While they were driving back home, the young redhead stayed silent.

"I'm sorry Anna.. She only needs some times.."

"I know.. I know.. But.. I don't know.. I hoped I could have done more, you know? I hoped she let off steam, she talked to me. But I think everyone has their own way to deal with things, uh?" Anna closes her eyes and sighs.

"Sweetheart.. I know you don't want to tell me what happened but.. just know that with time everything go better, ok? So, have a little of patience.." the woman gets closer and gives her a soft kiss on her head. She can't do much, they can't do much if not waiting that the young surgeon manages to stitch somehow that reopened wound.

Elsa is alone once again, a so wanted solitude while there was the other woman, yet she's missing her now. She didn't expect to see her, least of all letting her inside. She lies on her bed facing the ceiling and thinking about the conversation with the redhead and asking herself some questions. Was she being childishly? Was she being too harsh with her? Then she realizes something: before she didn't care much about how her actions could make feel the other person, but now things changed, she is a bit changed and she starts to care about her decisions and how they can affect one particular person. Nevertheless she knows that she made the right choice for her, she needs some alone time.

She can't wait for that horrible day to end. She only asked life one thing, a conclusion and it seems it's not coming for now. Who knows, perhaps this may be the right time, after all Hans is in the hospital, not in a very good conditions, and anything could go wrong, things happen.

Author's Note: Hello everyone! Happy New Year! And I am so sorry for the long wait... I really hope you'll enjoy the chapter and that you've spent well the holidays! I'm starting now with my new session of exams (yeah..).

Anyway! I know I've been terrible with the updates and I am so so so so sorry, but I want you to know that this story will have an end and I will update it, I hope it won't take too long, but you know.. life. And I really appreciate the fact that you are so kind and willing to wait. Thank you! I love you, really.

So, once again, happy new year! I hope your 2015 was good and I wish your 2016 will be better. Take care everyone!

Have a good day!

Christy