A/N: Enjoy!

Blood in the Air

Chapter Four:

Cadets

"Alright, I need everyone to form two lines!" One of the training soldiers ordered clearly over the crowd of Cadet-Hopefuls. "Girls, to the left! Boys, to the right! You'll be getting measured for your uniforms and assigned barracks! Once you're dressed, make your way to courtyard in that direction!" He ordered, pointing off to the left. "Your Drill Sergeant will meet you there! Don't worry about any personal belongings, they will be dropped off at your Barracks once they've been checked for contraband. Now, move it!" Aria and Mikasa pulled away from the boys and made their way placidly towards the female line.

"Man, I hope the uniforms aren't too starchy," a small redhead murmured. "I get chafed easily and the last thing I want is to deal with chafing as well as muscle aches and bruises!"

"Oh, I didn't even think about that!" A brunet groaned, wrinkling her nose. "Ugh, that's going to be a pain… At least we get some nice-looking boys to appreciate~!" She sang, the two of them falling into giggles as they moved forward. Aria and Mikasa glanced at one another in sync, and refrained from rolling their eyes, barely. The shadows flickered around the girls, weeping and sobbing, whispering echoes begging for help. Aria looked away from them, fingers fidgeting with her shirt hem. Not that looking away helped. All around her, the shadows wept and screamed and begged for help, grasping at her fellows, making Aria's ears ring until her hands were in white-knuckled fists, nails biting into her palms in an attempt to ground herself. Mikasa elbowed her gently in the side, the sharp pain making Aria flinch but focus, just in time for them to be fitted.

"Change in there," the soldier ordered in the bland way constant repetition caused. "Put this tag on your personal belongings. You're in Barracks G34, 104th Division."

"Yes Sir," Aria told him simply, taking the offered uniform and padding into the building he'd ordered her to. It was what looked like a public bathing area, or, at least, the female bathing area. There were several areas where metal pots could be filled with water to be heated, no doubt a privilege that could be revoked for punishment. There were several places along the ground at two-meter intervals where grates from drainage were placed. Idly, Aria wondered if cleaning them would also be something they had to look forward to, as a quick glance around a separating wall showed toilets as well.

The bare stone room was filled with soft chatter and girls of various ages in various states of dress. Shrugging her shoulders slightly, Aria trotted over to where Mikasa was already down to her underclothes, and began to strip as well. Folding her brown shorts and dark blue shirt carefully, tucking them into the small bag she'd managed to bring (filled mostly with clean underthings donated to her by Madame Syenna and her girls at the Brothel), Aria began to examine her uniform, taking in the white pants, tan half-jacket, belts and hoops.

"Oh no!" A voice somewhere behind her breathed, sounding dismayed. "Where… Where did you get all those scars?" Aria ignored it, until Mikasa tapped her shoulder and nodded to a wide-eyed blond girl with huge, concerned blue eyes. Aria blinked at her, before glancing down at her small, lean body. It was true, she did accumulate scars over the years, especially the last two, with her knife training. She even had yellowing bruises from a nasty tumble off a roof a few weeks before they'd signed up. Shrugging, Aria offered the girl a small half-smile.

"People liked to throw rocks at me when I was younger," she told the girl simply. "So, I found someone who would teach me how to protect myself. Now, no one throws rocks." Smiling faintly, she turned around again, goosebumps beginning to rise on her arms and legs from the faintly chill air in the stone room.

"Th-that's horrible!" The blond girl exclaimed, and Aria could only shrug a bit, reaching for the pants.

"You get used to it," she replied simply. Quickly, she got dressed, although Mikasa had to help her a bit with the belt when Aria's vision flickered, and her hands shook. After that, the two of them headed out towards the ordered courtyard, meeting Eren and Armin on the way. Following directions and orders barked at them after that point, the four were once again separated, set into staggered lines of unknown fellow-Cadets and ordered to stand at-the-ready. Once everyone was there, standing t rest with arms folded behind them, Aria noted that the shadows seemed to be buzzing with interest.

"Straighten those spines, pissants!" A strong, hoarse voice bellowed clearing as a vaguely-familiar-looking older man stalked out of the Mess Hall. "The 104th Cadet Boot Camp starts now! Allow me to introduce myself! I'm Commander Keith Shadis and you will grow to hate me!" Staring out at them all with sharp gray eyes, the grim-faced man glared.

"Training is going to be a white-knuckled ride through hell!" He shouted at them. "If I've done my job, you'll be waking up in a cold sweat from memories of this place every night for the rest of your miserable lives! Right now, you're nothing, livestock, but over the next three soul-crushing years, you'll learn to take down your own Goliath! Remember this moment when you come face-to-face him! 'Cause here's where you ask yourself… 'Am I a fighter? Or am I Feed?'" He looked around, meeting and holding people's eyes as he went, glaring all along. "'Am I gonna be grounded up into pulpy, human bits 'tween boulder-sized incisors?! Or am I gonna be the one to bite?!'" Glaring out at them all, Aria met his eyes when they cast over her, and held them, focused, shadows silent like a held breath at her peripherals.

Make it quick, Hat Man's voice echoed through her memory, through the shadows, as she stared back at her Instructor. The shadows nearest took his shape, pulling out his wicked knife and baring shadowy teeth in a feral smile. And make it permanent.

I'm ready.

(I promise)

()()()()()()()

The opening… Hazing ritual, Aria decided to call it, ended with the utterly blasé introduction of 'Potato Girl'. After Shadis assigned her his decided punishment (to run around the compound until sundown, or collapse, after lunch, as well as loosing dinner privileges for the next several days), he ordered the entire group off to the training grounds. An obstacle course stretched out before them, filled with climbing walls, pit falls, mud-filled pools with only thin poles, swinging ropes, and a large tree shaved of bark and branches with only short, nub-like pieces remaining and a bell set near the top.

"Listen up, maggots!" Shadis bellowed, glaring at them all. "This obstacle course is going to be your best friend and worst enemy for your stay here! Your objective is to make your way through this course up to that bell! Once rung, you will make your way back here to ring this bell!" He pointed at a small bell on a pole to the side of him. "Those of you who don't drop out like the worthless worms you are, will be expected to run this course once a week unless out on a survival challenge! You will be timed, and you will be expected to improve that time every. Single. Run." He glared out at the Cadets, and Aria found her fingers tapping rapidly against her forearms where they rested properly behind her, eying the course. The shadows were shivering, twisting and twitching in anticipation.

It made her think of the chasing games they played on the roofs, that Hat Man played with her. The low-level fear that was her constant state faded quickly under anticipation and focus.

"This course is yours to use outside of assigned hours!" Shadis told them clearly. "The only time you can ring these bells, however, is when I or another instructor are here! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!" He roared, and, as one, the Cadets shouted back,

"SIR YES SIR!"

"Get in line, pissants!" He bellowed. "Your first run starts now!" Scrambling to obey, the Cadets fell into chaos for several minutes as they tried to form a proper line. Aria found herself standing behind a tall blond boy with slight sideburns and a short bald boy.

"Man, this is crazy," the bald boy muttered. "Are they trying to kill us?"

"It's probably some sort of hazing," the blond in front of her muttered over his shoulder. "Weed out the weaklings first, the ones who have no physical abilities and such. Make 'em drop out so they don't have to kick them themselves."

"If you're incapable of running through an obstacle course while under supervision without enemies," Aria stated quietly, "then you have no place being in the Military, where lives rely on you being able to move quickly and fight."

"Geez," the bald boy muttered. "I mean, yeah, you're right, but maybe you should relax a little, y'know? Not be so serious?" Aria blinked, turning her head to look at him with a small frown.

"If you thought being in the Military was supposed to be relaxing," she started slowly, staring at him with a steady frown, "I'd hate to see what career you think is difficult."

"Sheesh," he muttered.

"Ruthless," the blond boy muttered.

"I can hear you," Aria responded mildly, lips twitching as she stared straight ahead at the blonds back, watching the hunch of his shoulders as the back of his neck grew red.

"Pipe down and listen up, asshats!" Shadis bellowed from the far front. "Today, your run through the course is just for us to test your baselines! Every one of you is to run through it, no exceptions! You will be graded on two things! First, for accuracy and then for speed! If you fall or can't complete an obstacle, you start that part over until you can! The longer you take, the more painful it will be for you! Once you've run through the entire course, you will return to the bath halls, clean your filthy asses, and meet at the Mess Hall for lunch! Your every failure today will be noted, your speed and ability, noted, your goddamn attitude, noted! Keep your mouths shut and clench your assholes, maggots! You!" He barked, no doubt at the first cadet in line. "Get started!"

Aria tapped her fingertips against her thighs and bounced idly on her toes. The shadows were whispering eagerly as the darted around her, disappearing up ahead to no-doubt watch the others run through. Anticipation was building and Aria fought to keep from rocking as she waited.

The line couldn't move fast enough in her opinion.

()()()()()()()

"Introduce yourself, Cadet!" Shadis barked at her as Aria finally stepped up to the starting line. Immediately, she saluted, hand locking over her heart and eyes locked on her Instructor.

"Aria Jaeger of Shiganshina, Sir!" she started clearly, unblinking even as her eyes unconsciously flickered. Shadis eyed her before bobbing his head curtly.

"Get your ass moving, Cadet Jaeger!" He ordered; Aria nodded sharply.

"Sir Yes Sir!" she declared, turning away; immediately, shadows darted forward, taking on the form of a smirking Hat Man and Aria fell into the familiar pattern of Follow, Quickly. Heart pounding in her ears, eyes narrowed slightly with focus, Aria flung herself after the shadow-man as quickly as possible. The first few meters of the obstacle course were loops of wood laid on the ground that she had to speed-step through, followed by a meter-wide ditch she had to leap. After that, there was a short wall to climb, two-meters in height with nothing to cling to. A running leap got her hands over the lip, and two years of roof-climbing had given her the upper body strength required to swing her legs up and over in a neat movement. Shadow-Hat Man was making mocking noises, already meters away, and Aria found a fierce grin curling her lips as she dove after him.

A trio of ditches one after another, a set of poles she was meant to zig-zag through, a see-saw like platform that almost saw her falling when the lip on the opposite end stuck up and caught her toes. Another two-meter climbing wall, this one within leaping distance of another wall, saw her executing an emergency flip Hat Man had taught her to keep from cracking her 'dumbass street-rat skull' on the ground. Then came a wider ditch, this one filled with dull pikes that she landed poorly on the other side with, forcing her to roll. Then came the mud pit, with the meter-high flat-topped poles that she ran over, surprisingly easy to do after roof-hopping on broken or loose tiles. She landed safely and flung herself up the last climbing wall before the tree, this one almost four meters tall with thick, rough rope hanging from it.

Watching shadow-Hat Man swing himself up and over at an angle, Aria followed, appreciating the easier way when she could already feel the trembling ache of her arms, and she still had to climb the tree and make it back to the beginning. Despite that, she thought as she landed with a roll, lunging to her feet and throwing herself after the mocking shadow-man. She threw herself into the climb, rapidly ascending the surprisingly thick branch-nubs she was able to stand on and use to leap higher, for once thankful for her small feet.

Despite that…

She felt more alive than she had since the beginning of That Day…

Her hand slammed on the bell, the clear ringing song ripping through the air, and Aria took a moment to gasp for breath, grinning victoriously, before Shadow-Hat Man cuffed her upside the head and she immediately took off again, this time with him chasing her.

My heart… Feels so light…

()()()()()()

Keith Shadis had recognized the Jaeger Twins as soon as he'd seen them, although it had been years and years since he'd met the boy, and two years since he first met the girl. Eren Jaeger was spitfire and vengeance, a drive that would push him above and beyond his thus-far lackluster performance. Keith remembered the sulky five-year-old Carla had introduced him to, gaunt with worry and stress from the fierce illness that had claimed her daughter, that threatened to take her daughter, but still willing to give him a warm smile and kind word… And Keith also clearly remembered his return of viciousness and prideful insults. He still regretted it, every hurtful word he'd spat on his dear friend that day.

And, like a light, the girl had stepped out of a crowd of judgmental strangers' years later and offered him kindness and comfort he didn't deserve.

Aria Jaeger didn't do her medical reports justice. Or, rather, vice-versa. Severe Auditory and Visual Hallucinations, disassociation with reality, night terrors, psychosomatic nightmares, memory issues, severe insomnia… He'd looked up Grisha and Carla's daughter after that fight, nearly a year after, and found the damning evidence laid bare in cold-cut ink. A laundry list of damnation, proof that even the kindest souls are often plagued with the cruelest fates. Part of him wondered if it wouldn't have been kinder if the fever had taken the poor child, knowing that, if not, then she wasn't destined to live long.

Then, then, on the day Maria Fell, she'd stepped from the crowd when he was at his lowest, weeping in the street like a pathetic creature, and given him comfort. Dark circles under eyes too-old for such a young face, pinched with lingering fear and stress even when soft with a smile. An honest and steady salute, a respectful bow, a warm heart…

Two years had turned that young girl into what he could grimly see was going to be a good soldier.

Watching her fling herself through the obstacle course, leaping and flipping through the air like a seasoned Cadet, Keith realized that there was no way he could keep her from the Military, no matter which Division she chose. Not that he could have legitimately sabotaged her, not with that name on her Recommendation, signed and approved by the Royal Family. And nothing he could scream at her, no insult or derisive sentence, would cow her. He'd seen the reports the Shiganshina Garrison had filed, added to her medical files and personal files alike, of the assaults others had taken against her, the number of times she'd been given cracked bones or needed stitches from ignorant asshats throwing rocks and punches and kicks.

No, he wouldn't be able to cow her out of the Corps…

But…

Eren wasn't nearly as physically capable as she was. And the ability to pass the balance-test for the ODM-gear was a mandatory pass-fail test. The Jaeger Twins were like each other's shadows, he knew. Where one went, the other followed.

As the girl flung herself, filthy and sweaty but smiling fiercely, from the course, ringing that second bell and turning to him expectantly, Keith could only offer a sharp nod and a barked order to get herself cleaned up. Watching her walk away in his peripherals, he noted her time and weak points on the report in his hand, grimly noting that she was already in the top five of the ranks so far, placing third place with less than thirty others to go.

…Like shadows, he thought, even as he barked at Springer to get his ass in gear. Where one goes, the other follows.

Fail Eren…

And Aria will leave as well.

It was the only thing he could do, one last attempt at redemption for his dear friends. One final act of defiance, of deference.

For Grisha…

For Carla…

()()()()()()

Aria was tired and pleased with herself, hair still slightly damp from her wash after the obstacle course earlier. Sunset was painting the compound deep shades of orange, emphasizing the buildings and shadows. She absently noted that Potato Girl was still running, her stamina higher than her common sense, apparently.

Not that I have room to talk, she thought amusedly, absently trailing her fingers up and down her arms, feeling the lumps and dips of scars, thin lines from blades and rough patches from rocks and roof tops. She did make note to hold back some food for her, however. Hat Man would give her food, sometimes, if he was planning on a long training session.

"Empty stomachs make dumbasses," she murmured, fondly quoting the man as she absently made her way into the Mess Hall. Eren was on the porch with several others, watching Potato girl run, and Aria absently patted him on the shoulder as she went past him.

"I'll save you a seat," she called softly; Eren sent her a half smile.

"Thanks, sis," he replied. "I'll be in in a moment." With a nod and a small smile, Aria slipped through the doors and headed towards the food line. It was a simple but filling meal, a bone marrow stew with plenty of vegetables and no actual meat, with a small loaf of bread, a little dry but still good. For Aria and her family, who'd been surviving on rations and what little food they could afford, the idea of these simple, free and filling meals made her eyes burn faintly.

Count your blessings, brat, Hat Man muttered in her ear. They're too damn few and far between for garbage like us. You can never rely on the mercy of the gods. Remember that when you're in a bind, y'hear me? Prayin' doesn't save anyone that a blade or a punch to the face or a quick move to hide won't. You gotta believe in anythin', believe in your abilities or the abilities of those you trust. Gods don't give a damn about us riffraff. Never have, never will.

"Good ol' Hat Man," she breathed softly, smiling slightly as she carried her food over to the table nearest the wall by the door. She sat in the middle of the table, knowing Eren would prefer the end seat. So even if sitting in the middle made her fingers tap uncomfortably on the table, heartbeat picking up at the idea of being boxed in by strangers, she was at least happy to have the wall at her back and the door within her peripherals so she could see everyone.

The shadows were filled with low hums and murmurs, content from the chasing game earlier. It added an almost eerie hissing quality to the chatter of the Mess Hall, as all the other Cadets eventually trickled in. Eren was soon at the end of the table, offering Aria a playful forehead salute as she passed him the pitcher of water she'd snagged for their table. Soon, however, he was surrounded by curious people and Aria shook her head and continued eating, setting her bread aside to take out to Potato Girl later—

It was then she realized exactly what Eren and his new friends were talking about and her vision narrowed. Her hand trembled and the shadows abruptly echoed, replaying the sounds of screaming and begging and dying. The phantom smell and taste of coppery blood and shit filling her senses, robbing her of her appetite. Her hand shook violently, and her spoon fell with a loud clatter she just barely heard, hand frozen, shaking, as she stared blankly at the table and bowl in front of her.

Blood like rose petals, scattered on the winds.

Mama being killed, her last few screams echoing louder in her ears.

"I PROMISE!"

The Smiling Titan, dripping blood.

Vaguely, distantly, she could hear Eren talking, voice sharp and strong as he talked about the Scouts, as another Cadet tried to get into an argument with him before the sounds of people walking away, then—

"Eren, did you even think to check on Aria before deciding to leave?" Mikasa's voice was clear, cutting softly through the air off to the side, and then Eren's cursing before, suddenly, something touched her hand, tapping only once on the back of it. She still flinched, shuddering harshly.

"Hey, hey, I'm sorry, it's okay," Eren stated earnestly, looking genuinely contrite and worried. "I'm sorry, Aria, I messed up, I'm sorry." Aria forced herself to breathe, only realizing at that moment that she'd been holding her breath, light-headed and dizzy with it.

"Blood on the wind," she whispered, rocking slowly as Eren sat beside her and Mikasa took her other side. "S-so much blood on the wind, in the air, every breath, so many people screaming, so many, so many…"

"Shh, shh," Eren said softly as Mikasa rubbed her back, Armin appearing across from her with a concerned look as he reached over to gently take her free hand in his, taping their fingers together in the beat of Rise Up. "You're safe, you're okay, there is nothing here to hurt you, you're safe, we're safe, it's okay."

"W-what happened?" Armin asked, concerned. "It's been ages since her last, um, vision?"

"Eren was talking about Shiganshina," Mikasa stated simply, calmly. "And about the Titans." Armin winced, leaning over the table to peer up at Aria.

"So many dying, dead, gonna die, die, they're all gonna die," she whispered, rocking between her siblings.

"Is, is she okay?" one of the Cadets asked worriedly; Eren grunted.

"She'll be fine," he told them stiffly; Aria turned her too-wide eyes on her brother.

"Mama's screaming," she choked out, watching his eyes go wide and horrified. "She, she made me p-promise, made me promise before it ate her, I promised, Eren," she whispered hoarsely and Eren flinched, before reaching up and gripping her head, pulling it forward until Aria found herself buried in his neck.

"I know,' he whispered back hoarsely. "It's, it's okay, Aria. Mom, Mom heard you, she knows you'll keep your promise, okay? You always keep your promises, so she knows you'll keep whatever it was. Take a deep breath, okay? Just, just breathe, fuck, I'm sorry, you're okay…" Aria struggled to focus, trying to reign in the terror and memories and just stared at her brother's collar bone, gasping breaths struggling to slow. Distantly, she heard more people trying to ask what was wrong, what was happening, only to pull away when Armin shakily asked them to.

She didn't know how long she was like that, Armin tapping Rise Up on her fingers while Mikasa rubbed a steady, strong hand along her spine and Eren rocked her slowly, whispered apologies and reassurances as he did, until she finally found herself grounded in reality once more. Slumping in relief, eyes burning with tears, Aria lifted her free arm to pat her brother gently on the back in thanks, hugging him briefly before slowly pulling away.

"S-sorry," she murmured, sitting back carefully, shoulders hunched and eyes down.

"You have nothing to apologize for," Mikasa assured her quietly, seriously, as she reached over with a cloth to wipe her face. Aria winced and sent her a small, exhausted smile, meeting first her eyes, then Armin's, then Eren's.

"Still," she stated, forcing herself to straighten. "I don't, I usually don't collapse like that, when talking about Shiganshina. I just… I wasn't paying attention and then I was listening, and it just triggered—" Aria stopped, forced herself to close her eyes and take a few steady breaths. "Sorry. It won't happen again."

"What happened?" One of the other Cadets asked, the one she vaguely recognized as the bald boy from earlier that day (Connie? She wasn't sure, names weren't exactly her forte when the shadows weren't chanting them in her ears).

"Stop that," a taller brunet boy with freckles scolded. "Obviously talking about a very traumatizing experience wasn't something that should have been brought up!" Connie(?) winced and rubbed a hand over his head uncertainly.

"A-ah, heh, yeah, sorry," he muttered; Aria shook her head, shakily sitting forward and carefully picking her spoon back up, catching Armin's hand just long enough to give his fingers a gentle squeeze before pulling away.

"It's fine," she stated clearly, quietly. "You all should be aware, however, that I have brain damage from when I was a very small child. I suffered through a fever so high it essentially cooked my brain in my skull. As a result, I often suffer from hallucinations and short fits like you just saw. If I seem to react to something that's not there or is completely normal to you, don't be surprised, please, if I turn to look at you and those around us briefly. It's how I can more easily tell if something is real or not."

"Whoa, seriously?" Possibly-Connie asked; Aria nodded seriously.

"I also suffer from severe night terrors, nightmares, and insomnia, so don't be surprised if you see me up and wandering in the middle of the night," she told them tiredly. "I'll probably just stick to the obstacle course, now that I know its allowed, but just in case you see me, that's probably what happened. If I'm rocking back and forth and don't respond when you call my name, or when you make a loud noise, like clapping, please don't try touching me. I've, ah, broken peoples bones in the past for it," she admitted, wincing slightly.

"What the hell are you doing here if that's the case?" A broad-shouldered blond boy asked, brow arched, and Aria shrugged.

"Military is one of the best paying jobs there is, no matter your Division," she stated simply. "And I was given a letter of Recommendation from an MP Captain who's been keeping an eye on me the last couple years. It was either the Military or, well, Madame Syenna said I could join her Brothel when I'm old enough if I wanted." She shrugged again, offered a shaky half-smile as several of the boys sputtered, and, at her side, Eren finally relaxed slightly huffing out a breath and crossing his arms over his chest, rolling his eyes faintly.

"You wouldn't last long at the Brothel, Aria," he declared, rolling his eyes. "You can't stand strangers touching your skin, how would you ever get paid? Armin would probably do better there than you."

"H-hey!" Armin squawked, and Aria chuckled softly as Mikasa quietly nudged her side and pushed her bowl closer. Obeying the silent demand from solemn gray eyes, Aria pulled it over to continue eating despite her lack of hunger as Armin and Eren bantered, pulling the other Cadets into it. Once her bowl was clear, Aria tucked her bread away quietly and excused herself, Mikasa stopping her with a gentle hand on her wrist, gray eyes assessing and concerned, and Aria smiled softly.

"Thank you, sister," she stated softly, reaching forward to tug on the girl's long hair. "You should think about cutting this or pinning it back before tomorrow."

"Yeah, Mikasa," Eren added, catching onto their conversation and reaching around Aria's waist to flick Mikasa's hair teasingly. "The ODM-gear training's going to be a pain with it long like this." Aria rolled her eyes as Mikasa was immediately distracted, absently leaning over to press a short kiss to her brother's temple before scooting past them and out from behind the table. Briefly, the shadows emerged to coo mockingly at one of the taller Cadets who was watching Eren and Mikasa with something like betrayal and malice all in one. Not serious malice, but still. Shadow-Hat Man swirled into view briefly to mock the tall boy with the long face wordlessly, grabbing his crotch and making a swooning motion, and Aria barely managed to hold in a snort as she slid past him to drop her bowl off in the kitchen.

She left quietly for the Barracks, exhaustion baring down on her shoulders from a mix of the physical workout of the day and her emotional rollercoaster. She was the first one there, and quickly followed a few shadows to Potato Girls bunk, where she slipped the bread under her pillow before going to her own bed. Mikasa had claimed the top bunk, and Aria smiled faintly up at it before laying on top of her bedding, barely wrinkling the tightly tucked blanket. She left her shoes on the side of the bed, made sure her arms were flat on the bed, and stared, half-lidded, up at the mattress above her. She dozed like that, as the other girls slowly trickled in. Mikasa returned last, hair damp but freshly cut, and leaned over to press a feather-light kiss to Aria's cheek before climbing up into her bed without a word.

Potato Girl wept rapturously over the bread, stuffing it into her mouth with purring coos and muffled moans that made Aria's lips twitch. It wasn't long until the candles were all blown out for bed, and soon after that, the breaths of those around her began steadily evening out. Aria listened quietly, eyes half-lidded, and counted her own heartbeats as the shadows crept along her skin like spiders, pin-pricks and uncomfortable tingling following in their wake. It made goosebumps rise on her skin and anxiety tighten in her throat.

She laid there for a couple hours before fitfully dozing off.

()()()()()()

A flash of swords and the whir of ODM-gear.

The smell of wet earth and wilderness.

A sharp, startled cry, choked off abruptly with a sharp gasp and a thump.

Blood spatter, hot on her face, coating her hands as she clutched a blade drenched in redredredred—

Aria flinched awake, biting her lip harshly to stifle any sound. She lay there, completely still and struggling to even out her breathing, drenched in a cold sweat as she stared blankly up at Mikasa's bed. After several minutes, she slowly sat up and glanced around, doing an absent head-count as she slowly rocked. A glance out the window at the moon showed she'd slept for barely three-and-a-half hours.

It'll have to do, she thought grimly as she carefully got up. She grimaced at the faint outline her sweat had left one her bedding, focusing instead on carefully tugging it all back to rights. Tugging at her clinging, wet shirt, she finally just tugged it off over her head, leaving her in her shorts and wrappings as she carefully laid the shirt out over her belongings. They wouldn't be required to change into their uniforms until after breakfast, so she didn't have to worry about it being messed with before then.

Slipping on her shoes, she silently crept from the Barracks, absently rocking back and forth as she went towards the obstacle course. There was no need for a lantern, not with the moon mostly-full and the sky clear. So, instead of letting worry and anxiety and fear rule her, Aria took a deep breath and flung herself through the course. She didn't climb the tree or ring any of the bells, but she worked every other inch of the course for hours. She worked until her limbs trembled and she got a stitch in her side, and then she slowly paced around the course, hands folded above her head to let her breath come easier.

It was harder to be afraid when she was exhausted.

"Cadet Jaeger," came a familiar, harsh voice, and Aria spun immediately, falling into a salute as she stood tall and stared straight ahead.

"Sir Yes Sir!" She greeted clearly.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing out of your Barracks at this time, Cadet?" Shadis demanded.

"Sir, working off nightmare induced anxiety and energy in a productive way, Sir!" She replied honestly; the bald man stared at her, the dark circles under his eyes made darker from shadows, whether real or imaginary she couldn't tell.

"And exactly how long have you been doing this, Cadet?" He asked her; Aria glanced up at the sky, calculating the position of the moon from when she woke up.

"…About two or three hours, Sir!" She finally declared with a sharp nod. "I was in the process of cooling down before heading to the bathing hall to clean up, Sir!"

"Do so, Cadet," he ordered sharply. "And know that I will not allow this every night! The only time I want to see you worked so hard you puke is when you're working under my command! You want to work off your energy, you have my permission to clean the bath and Mess Halls! You may use the obstacle course at night once a week, Am I Understood?!"

"Sir Yes Sir!" Aria agreed.

"Dismissed, Cadet Jaeger," he barked.

"Sir!" She agreed, ducking slightly in a half-bow before making a smart about-face and trotting away towards the bath hall. Already she was making a mental list of things she would need to clean it the next night. She understood that working herself to exhaustion during the night and day would be counter-productive, but was ridiculously relieved that the Commander had given her a second option.

There was nothing quite as frustrating as being forced to remain still and silent so she didn't wake others when all she wanted was to run.

Easily waving at a sleepily blinking Connie as she passed on her way to the bathroom, Aria absently straightened her dirty, sweaty breast band and decided she would clean it while she was there. Behind her, she missed Connie doing a double-take before promptly walking into a post as he gaped at her shirtless self.

Carrying on, Aria hoped that the next three years would be productive as, around her, the Shadows hissed and whispered and dripped imaginary blood from the sky like red rain.

()()()()()()

A/N: AKA the Chapter where Aria uses the tried-and-true Jaeger method of Distract-Everyone-With-Something-Crazy-So-They-Don't-Poke-At-My-Emotional-Vulnerability only instead of yelling at them she goes with the purposefully blasé method.

Tell me what you think!