Chapter 18-How to Fix A Broken Heart

The flight to America was too long. More than once he considered breaking the window of the plane and seeing if he could make it faster, but the one time as a youth he had tried to fly out over the ocean as far as he could, ended with him nearly drowning. He would run out of energy and therefore was forced to sit and wait with the many other passengers for the plane to travel across the pacific ocean to LAX, then take another flight to Florida. He had not even changed out of his Judo attire and only had the change of clothes he carried in a black backpack from his father.

The images kept flashing through his mind. He only saw the backs of the two men that had strapped her down to the bed and the fear in her eyes. The sound of Rin begging them to stop made his heart break and a sense of rage washed over him.

I thought she was a virgin, he cursed himself quietly. His skin broke out into a tense sweat, his heart was pounding. His father had yet to track down the ones responsible for leaking the video and the pictures. Now he knew what had been plaguing her and why his behavior at the start of the year had set her off so badly. She thought I was just like them, he bent over putting his forehead in his palms. He touched his heart. It ached worse than any pain he had ever felt before. Why didn't she come to me? He thought they had moved past her not coming to him when she was upset.

Hours upon hours ticked by as the plane made its way across the ocean. It landed eleven hours later on the tarmac where palm trees graced the Californian coast. He grabbed his backpack and pushed his way through the crowds of people. He jogged through the airport until he found the terminal for Southwest Airlines, "I need the first flight to Miami, Florida that you have."

"Would you like to be on stand-by?" the woman asked him.

"Yes," he answered quickly. "Oh my god," he covered his mouth. Next to the terminal waiting area the News was blaring.

"I know, sad right?" The woman said blandly while she typed his information into the computer.

"Video footage has emerged of the alleged rape of eighteen year old Rin Campbell, stunt double and daughter of millionaire actress Carlotta Campbell and husband Carson Campbell who owns Beachside Lamborghinis. Carlotta and Carson are currently in Canada, filming her latest movie. Sources say that Rin arrived at her home late last night and that security has had a difficult time keeping demon reporters away from their house." The camera switched to the female reporter.

"It's just so sad though," she wiped a tear from her eyes as the video played again. "Sources say they have yet to identify the two males in the video and believe a third person may have been involved. We've reached out to gain a comment from the family's spokesperson and have not heard back at this time."

Sesshomaru choked as he leaned over the terminal desk, to catch his breath. "Turn that off?" He pointed at the news screen.

"I'm sorry sir, we don't have control over what plays," the attendant said.

Kami, now the whole world knows, she must be so scared. He exhaled deeply and sat down in one of the chairs. He pulled his phone out and dialed her number again. It went straight to voicemail. "Rin please, I know you're upset. Please call me. Let me know you're alright?" He hung the phone up and tried texting her for the millionth time since he left Japan.

His phone buzzing while he wrote startled him. He answered, "Did you find out who released the video?"

"Not yet," Toga said from the other side. "Listen, her parents' spokesperson just called me. They've hired a lawyer and her parents are on a private jet heading here. I tried telling them she wasn't here. I don't know how far they were into their trip. She won't answer their phone calls. Have you been able to get through?"

"No," he answered half perturbed but mostly just worried. "What do I say?" he asked his father.

"I don't know," Toga answered.

"Did something like this ever happen to Izayoi? To my mother?" What do you say to someone who experienced that kind of pain?

"Your mother yes, Izayoi no," Toga answered calmly. "She was just a child at the time and she didn't want it made public. It happens, Sesshomaru, dammit it happens. You know that one in four girls experiences some kind of sexual abuse before they are eighteen. I know it's not going to make it easier, but it makes sense now, why your behavior at the start of the year upset her so much. Take it slow when you see her. Don't ask questions, let her talk okay?"

Sesshomaru hung the phone up without answering. He needed to find something to eat. His stomach was growling and he barely ate on the plane, not that they had something that appealed to him. He stood up and followed the long terminal back to the shopping area. He hated American food. He found the closest thing he could to an Asian restaurant and ordered sushi. His stomach was doing flips from nerves but he forced himself to eat anyway. How was he going to handle this?

As he walked back the attendant came up to him. "We have a first class cancelation. Would you like to take the seat?"

"Yes," he pulled out his debit card from his back pocket. Thirty minutes later he was on a flight to Miami.

He had her address from his father and put it into the GPS on his phone. He was going to have to thank the student body at Shikon College for making one that gave flying directions. He ran through the airport and as soon as he exited bolted into the sky following the directions buzzing in his ear to Rin's home.

Once he was close enough, he recognized it by the yelling and flashing of lights from the reporters stalking her home. Another rash of demons had flown over the fence that blocked them from the main estate.

He could smell Rin. No wonder they know she's there. How do they know her scent? Rotten cherry blossoms entered his nasal passages. She was distraught and that brought out a sense of rage he didn't know he possessed. He grabbed the first two by the neck and threw a panther and jaguar demon over the fence. The next two were wolves and then a fox-demon that paled when Sesshomaru's eyes flashed red. He landed on the other side of the fence and said, "Anyone else? No one else?" he spoke English with a slight accent. "Okay then…if I see one camera flash, you will all regret it. This is private property, leave."

"Who are you?" One of the security guards asked as Sesshomaru walked up to the house.

"Someone who loves her," he said firmly. Do I? Is this love? He came up to the door and knocked firmly. When there was no answer he knocked again and again. "Rin!" he called into the house. "Rin, it's Sesshomaru! Rin, answer the goddamn door!" He banged again.

It finally opened and out peeked a pale white face, with ghost-like fingers, eyes that were bloodshot and a face covered in broken blood vessels. "I…" she coughed, tears starting again. "No…"

He ignored her protests and entered the house. The living room was destroyed, covered in shattered glass. He lifted her hand. "You're hurt," he whispered against the bleeding palm.

"Please?" She covered her face with her hands trying to turn away from him.

"Shh," he whispered. "Come here." He brought her against his chest.

Her hair was greasy and unkempt and skin dirty from the mess she made. "I have you now," he said against her ear. Her hands slowly wrapped around his torso and squeezed the back of his shirt.

He held her around the shoulders and pressed his mouth against her neck. "I have you now," he repeated himself.

"I couldn't stop them," she sobbed into his chest. "I tried."

"Shh," he kissed her forehead. "It's," he paused, could he really say okay?

Her knees gave out from beneath her. He picked her up to keep her from landing in shards of glass. Her feet were bleeding, she hadn't even been aware she walked barefoot into a pile of picture frames. He left the messy living room and carried her into the kitchen hoping to find somewhere to set her down and assess the situation.

The kitchen was in just as much disarray. "Is there anywhere you didn't trash?" he said in her ear. There were shattered plates and cups all over the floor along with emptied cabinets and a broken back window.

A small chuckle vibrated against his chest. "Upstairs."

"You need a bath," he said quietly carrying her up the grand staircase and into one of the large guest bathrooms. It had a jacuzzi bathtub with robes already hanging up. He set his backpack out in the hallway and turned all the lights on. "Give me the hand." He sat her on the dark marbled floor on top of a sea green rug to inspect it. There was a small shard embedded at the heel of her hand. "This might hurt." He pinched his claws together and took it out. He put it in the toilet then lifted her feet. "Why didn't you answer my phone calls? Do you know how worried I was?"

Her eyes were distant as he spoke to her. She stared up at the ceiling. He wasn't entirely sure she was hearing him. It was almost like she wasn't there. She breathed shallowly.

"Rin," he said more firmly as he lifted one of her feet up. "You have glass in your feet." He shook his head. "I should take you to the hospital," he whispered, caressing her cheek.

"No…please," she finally seemed to wake up. "Can you…get it out?" Her voice shook, lips tremble

"Yes and then you're going to bathe," he said softly, he dared to let his lips press against her forehead again. "Why didn't you call me?" Their lips lapped against each other as he spoke. They sat side by side, his feet in the opposite direction as hers, his forehead resting near her head.

"I'm not who you think I am." She held his wrists, tears coming from her eyes again.

He closed his eyes moving back and lifted one of her feet again. To be honest, he had no idea what to say. He held her foot up to the light and began picking the bits of glass out of her feet, tossing them into the toilet as he did. She winced and every so often or groaned in pain as he did. "Who should I think you are?"

"What?" Her head moved back and forth as if she had just registered what he said.

"Who should I think you are? This one is deep, I'm sorry." The fingers dug into her skin making her bleed again.

"Ow!" she shrieked in pain writhing on the floor.

"Try not to move, I almost have it." He plucked out a larger chunk. "I think that was the last one." He turned around and turned the water on until it was steaming. "Do you want me to leave?"

"What?"

He touched her chin tugging it to his mouth. "When was the last time you ate? Slept?"

"I don't know." She leaned against the back of the tub.

She was wearing a big T-shirt and pajama bottoms. He tugged the shirt over her head taking a deep breath. She was beautiful. She had defined abs and lines he didn't know a woman could have. She wore a sports bra underneath it. "Stand up," he directed her. "If it makes you uncomfortable, let me know."

"Turn around?" It came out like a pathetic cry.

He kept his back to her until he heard the splash of water indicating she was in the bath. He glanced over his shoulder in time to see her exposed back lowering into the water. He turned around and lifted the shower head from its resting place on the wall and turned it on, running it over her hair and shoulders. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," she said firmly, staring at the wall in front of her. "You should leave."

"I'm not leaving you." He removed shampoo from the corner of the shower and lathered it into her hair. He rubbed her scalp in soothing motions. He knew it was working as her head leaned into his hands. She folded her knees into her chest, fresh driblets of water dripped from her eyes. He turned the showerhead on again to rinse the soap from her head then gathered the conditioner. He combed through her hair with his claws until the strands were smooth. "This is nicer than the bathroom in my home."

She nodded.

"Rin." He kissed the side of her neck tenderly. "Talk to me? Please?"

She shook her head.

"Can you wash yourself?"

"Do you think it will hurt?" she said suddenly.

"What?" He took out a luffa and put a sweet smelling body wash on it. He lathered her shoulders and neck, down her chest, stopping just above her breasts.

"Sex."

He coughed slightly uncomfortable. He wouldn't deny that seeing her in the bath had made him very hard and he ached to comfort her with his body, but now wasn't the time. "I don't know." He lifted one of her arms out of the water and smoothed the soap over it, then the other. "Can you stand?"

"What if it hurts?"

"I wouldn't hurt you."

"They did," her voice was so flat it was scaring him.

"What happened to you was wrong," he said firmly.

"Would you stop, if I didn't want it?"

"Yes," he said, quietly moving her hair from her shoulders. "Stand up." He tugged on her hand, keeping her facing away from him. "Is it okay?" he asked, holding the luffa in front of her.

She nodded absently.

He lathered her breasts, touching the delicate skin, beneath them and down her stomach. She leaned into his chest, releasing a soft moan as it brushed over her curls. "I would be very gentle," he crooned in her ear. "When you are ready."

She nodded as he lifted one of her legs, cleaning it, than the other. He moved her hair over her shoulder and cleaned her back off.

"Sit down." He helped her back down and rinsed her off carefully caressing her skin.

"Will you stay with me?" she said, her face still downcast.

"Did you think I flew across the ocean not to?" He chuckled as he turned the water off. "Do you have a maid to clean the mess you made?"

"She'll come in the morning," she said, still monotone.

"Are you hungry?"

She shrugged her shoulders.

He wanted to rebuke her for being so quiet. "Are you ready to come out?"

Her hand raised to his, that was on the side of the bathtub. "Stay please?"

"I want to go find you something to eat." He wrapped his free arm around her front pulling her back to his chest. "Will you be okay for a few minutes alone?"

"Ramen," she scoffed, burying her nose against his neck. She kissed the skin just beneath his chin. "It's in one of the cabinets and there's a hot water kettle on one of the counters. If I didn't throw it on the ground. I'm scared." She cried anew into his neck, gripping his arms. "Everyone knows now."

"Shhh," he hushed into her ear, "shh. We'll find out who released the video."

"It's all over the TV, the news stations," she coughed into his neck, "everyone saw it. Kami, Sesshomaru." She gripped his shoulders.

"I'm sorry," was all he could manage while he lifted her out of the water thinking better of leaving her alone in the water. He removed a robe that was hanging up and helped her step into it. He wrapped her hair for her towel, drying it. "Do you want me to dry it?" When she didn't answer he said, "come. Show me where your room is, then I'll bring you something to eat."

She led him down the hall to a room that overlooked a pool with a large patio. She went to her dresser and pulled out some clothes. "Do you think I'm beautiful?" she asked him as she stood in front of the standing mirror.

"I think you are gorgeous," he stood behind her, staring at their reflection in the mirror. She stood just near his shoulder, her black hair a stark contrast to his own silver-mane. Her eyes were dark chocolate colored brown, while his were light like honey from the evening sun. She lowered the robe in front of him, staring at her naked body.

He gulped trying to ignore the rising heat from staring at her body. "You don't need to do this." He tried to pull the robe back over her shoulders.

"Touch me?" She tried to bring his hand between her legs.

"What?" He was panting, staring at her. She wasn't petite by any standards, her breasts were small and her skin lightly tanned from the sun. He removed his hand from her grip.

"Make me forget what it felt like?" She turned, pulling his lips to hers.

"No," he said firmly, pulling away. "I…" her lips crashed against his again. He pushed her back. "I would be lying if I said I didn't want to make love to you right now." He brought her hand down. "But not like this. Rest and food first." He stepped away from her.

"I was going to tell you," she adjusted the robe around her hips, "the morning after we...in the shower. I wanted you to make love to me. I was ready."

She went over to her dresser, walking tenderly. He sat on her bed, breathing heavily. Everything inside of him wanted to make love to her, to show her what it was supposed to feel like. "I'll go bring you something to eat." He left quickly, fearful of what would happen between them if he didn't create space. He wanted her, he ached to make love to her, but not like this. He made it downstairs and called his father. "She's home."

"She's at your house," he heard his father say. "Her parents are here. They would like to speak to her."

"She's barely speaking to me. They didn't know about the rape?"

"No," Toga's voice sounded sad. "Will she speak to them?"

"I'm trying to find something for her to eat right now. I will try to get her to call them later. Perhaps they should just return?" He wasn't sure if he could get her to speak on the phone. "Tell them I'll care for her until they return. Please tell me you found out who released that video?"

"Not yet," Toga sounded remorseful. "I'm searching but we shut down campus internet and Lady Kikyo and Lady Kaede cast a spell to block cell phone usage on school grounds. He's going to stay with her until you both return."

"Tell them to have their maid come now to clean up. She trashed the living room and kitchen." He found the boxes of ramen and the tea kettle and set out making Rin something to eat. "She's so hurt. I need to go." He could smell something upstairs that wasn't Rin.

As evening neared, she sat at her computer googling how to have sex after being raped. The information was almost the same as how to lose your virginity. Use lubrication, relax, go slow. She could hear him downstairs, rummaging in the kitchen as she stood and went into her closet. In the very back corner, where the maids and her parents would never look was a gallon size ziplock bag of clothing that she had worn when she had gotten away from the people that held her. Her mind flashed to that night. She closed her eyes trying to push the memory from her mind. She opened the bag just as she heard her door open. The sound made her jump, the clothing landed on the ground.

"What are those?" Sesshomaru set the ramen on her dresser and knelt over them. He removed a pen from his pocket, sifting through the clothes until he found pink panties that were stained in blood. "You were a virgin weren't you?" He lifted the shirt and shorts to his nose using the pen. Impossible. He had to stop his heart from racing again. He should have been the one to take her virginity.

"Yeah," she whispered, sitting on the floor leaning against the bed. "I…"

He sniffed the clothes again. "It was two men? But, there was someone else there? You were in a." He smelled it again. "Warehouse?"

"How did you know that?" She turned to face him.

He pointed at his nose. "I have a very acute sense of smell. But these aren't American smells or Japanese?"

Rin walked on unsteady feet staining the white carpet with the blood that had started again on her feet. She picked up the ramen. She noticed he added a poached egg and slices of ham. It was like a meal she had back at school.

"Do you have gauze?" he asked her, "I need to bandage your feet for the night."

"In the bathroom," she said quietly.

He left long enough to go through one of the cabinets and find some gauze bandages to wrap her feet in. He came back to find her sitting on the floor against her bed. He lowered himself in front of her and lifted the foot that was still bleeding lightly, wrapping it in the bandage.

She swallowed the first bite of soup, her mind finally clearing somewhat from the haze. "It was a wrap party for the Jackie Chan movie I was stunt doubling in. One of the producers was throwing a party in Guanzho, China and invited me. Can you sit closer to me?" She flexed the balls of her feet.

He smiled at her and maneuvered himself next to her so she could still eat. He watched her dip some ham and noodles into the yolk and chew it slowly. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

After she swallowed. "It wasn't just once…I don't remember." She closed her eyes. "I…I know I went to the party, but then everything was dark and the world was spinning and I felt a pain here." She brought his hand down between her legs. "I was sixteen. I went with another girl…I can't remember her name. It was on a boat? I think it was on a boat, the memories are so fuzzy." She rubbed her hand through her hair. "My head hurts."

"Hey." He tugged her chin out. "It's okay, you don't have to try to remember everything now. Is it possible someone drugged you?"

"Drugged me?" She ate another bite.

"Memory loss is common when you've been drugged."

"I…I don't know. I know I went to the party and then I started coming to when they…when they…kami it hurt, Sesshomaru." She turned into him holding his chest. "It hurt so much," she sobbed into his chest. "They wouldn't stop. My hands were tied and legs were tied and when one finished the other started-" she broke off no longer able to speak.

He dug his claws into the floor of her bedroom, tearing up the carpet and shredding the wood beneath. There was a desperation in his heart to kill who had done this to her. He knew the smells that were left on her clothes. He knew who had done this to her, but he didn't understand how it was possible, but if he was right, they were the same ones responsible for leaking the video footage of her rape.

"I…" she coughed. "I…I woke up, and it happened again and they said if I did what they wanted they would let me go. I was so scared and I was just sixteen and," she wiped her nose. "I don't know. I…there was someone else there, another girl her name was Sara. But they unchained me, so I could," she closed her eyes, she was on her knees and one of them wanted her to-. "I bit him instead and then kicked the feet out from under the other guy. I never saw their faces. I ran as fast as I could and punched someone else. I found an exit and I escaped. I got a letter the next morning in my hotel room saying if I told anyone they would release the videos. I ruined my mother's reputation."

"You didn't. They're worried about you. They flew all the way to Japan to check on you," he said as he kissed the top of her head. "Rin, I'm so sorry." He held her tightly. "We're going to find out who did this to you." I know who did this to her. Now I know what happened to Sara. "And who released the video! Do you know how long they held you?"

She shook her head. "I…it had to be a few days. I'm not sure. No one noticed I was missing."

"How could no one notice that you weren't there?" he said, angrily.

"I asked my parents if I could stay an extra week as a tourist and they said it was fine. It's not the first time I hadn't called them in a few days." She curled tighter into him.

"You didn't eat enough." He lifted the bowl of noodles up to her mouth. "Drink the broth."

She obeyed and slowly drank it. "I'm so tired, Sesshomaru."

"I know. Finish eating, then you can sleep."

"I'm there when I sleep."

He didn't know what to say, so he kissed her temple hoping she understood. "Did you tell anyone?"

She shook her head.

"Did you go to a doctor?"

"No…I got plan B at the pharmacy." She nuzzled his neck. "I was…so scared I would end up pregnant." She sighed against him. Her eyes were black with circles.

"You could have damage." He ran the back of his hand across her stomach. "You should see a doctor."

"It was two years ago." She lifted noodles to her mouth. "I'm so tired."

"When did you sleep last?"

"In Japan," she muttered against his neck, putting the bowl down, disinterested in it.

"That was two days ago!" He helped her off the floor. "Get in bed." He lifted the lavender comforter up for her to slide in. He covered her up and sat down next to her. "Is there an empty room I can take?"

She touched the stripes on his cheeks. "You look tired too."

"I saw the video and I couldn't find you. Why didn't you come to me?" He leaned over and kissed her mouth. "You didn't have to face this alone."

"I thought you would be ashamed to be with me." Her tears started again.

"I am proud you are mine." He let his lips say what his heart felt. He loved her and he knew it. His mouth parted, allowing her tongue to dip inside his own cavern and then he dipped back, loving each embrace their mouths made against each other. "I love you," he said, finally admitting the emotions he kept hidden. He wrapped his arms beneath her holding her to his chest. "I love you." He cupped her cheek as her eyes quickly shut tight. "You're so tired." He held her hand over his heart and kissed her forehead. He needed to hunt.

She fell asleep curled against his chest. She was beyond exhausted and he hoped she would be asleep for a while. Sesshomaru wished to join her in the oblivion of sleep but couldn't. He needed to call his father and confirm the scents he found on her clothes. He bagged them up in the plastic they had been in before, careful not to touch them, then grabbed his backpack from the hallway and entered the quest bedroom next to Rin's. Quietly shutting the door, he laid down on the bed. Before he started his research he called his father. "I finally got Rin to sleep. Are her parents coming back soon?"

"Yes. They're on their way now. They might have a slight delay because it's raining here." Toga said, softly. "I'm flying in with them."

"Why?" Sesshomaru wondered.

"Because this is a press nightmare. Without a time stamp, people are asking if it happened on campus."

"I understand," Sesshomaru nodded as he said it. "I'm going to get some rest. I've been up for the past twenty-four hours. I'll call you when I wake up," he said while yawning.

"Get some rest son. We'll find out who did this."

Sesshomaru wasn't going to tell his father he already knew who did it. He hung the phone up and slid into Rin's room to find her still breathing softly. He had expected her to have panic attacks, but was surprised to see her so calm.

Before he walked out he realized that it was hot in her room. He gently opened the patio doors to allow the cool ocean breeze to chill down the room. He kissed her forehead and then left. Laying back down on his bed he got on to google. He searched up the producers from the latest Jackie Chan movie. Slowly going through the names one caught his eye. 'Hanzō Endo the president of Japan. I knew it.'

It was Takahiro and Naraku. He wanted to get on a plane and rip their hearts out right here and now. They were going to pay for what they did to her. He picked his phone up and called Inuyasha. "Are you on the plane too?"

"Yeah. Look, I can't track it down on the darkweb."

"Try something different. I want you to search through Hanzo Endo's houses, vacation homes and work offices."

"It can't be," Inuyasha said in denial.

"Inuyasha, she has the pair of clothes that she was wearing the day it happened. The scent is still there."

"You have to recuse yourself, Sesshomaru."

"I will."

"You need to tell her," Inuyasha said quietly.

"I know...tomorrow. She's sleeping."

"She'll probably think it's cool you're really a detective."

"Or she's going to hate me," Sesshomaru said, hitting the red button to end the phone call. Sleep, for now he needed sleep.

The vision came to her in her sleep. A dark room that smelled dank and acrid. Her hands were bound over her head and her legs were held apart. She struggled to get away but couldn't. She bolted upright, terrified and holding her heart. God, I thought I was over this. Until, someone uprooted that footage that brought the memories back. She threw her comforter off and called out, "Sesshomaru?" She glanced around the room, a bit fuzzy on where he had gone after she had fallen asleep. She went out to the second floor balcony that connected her room and one of the guest rooms. She leaned on the railing, gazing into the night sky. It was littered with stars that she had missed. She closed her eyes trying to catch her breath when she heard the patio of the guest room opening.

He came out with silver hair waving in the wind, dressed in the same black yoga pants and a black tank-top. He sauntered over to her and laced his fingers in between hers pulling her into his embrace. "Are you okay?"

"No," she whispered, burying her nose into his chest. "Kiss me? Please?"

He leaned his neck down and took in her lips. It began as an innocent kiss and quickly became more heated.

"Sleep in my bed?" Her eyes begged for the safety of his body.

He led her back into her room. She followed behind him and climbed into bed. He rolled over to face her and ran his nose down her face. "You're safe now? You know that right?"

"I'm scared," she whispered, against him. "I keep seeing it. Please? Make love to me," her lips muttered against his chest. "I want to forget what it felt like."

He kissed the palm of her hand, feeling himself get hard again. He closed his eyes and sat up. "We talked about what would happen if we made love." He removed his tank top. He could no longer deny her.

She sat up and touched the lines on his chest with her palm. "I know," she said quietly, the hand falling down to his stomach.

"I can't without marking you." His lips found hers, engulfing them in a slow and deep kiss. He could taste the tears in her mouth, the taste of salt and sorrow she had been hiding for years.

"Please? I want something different to remember." She sat up and removed her sleep top. She wore nothing beneath but a lacy pair of blue underwear. "I…I haven't done this before." She scooted closer to him, lifting one hand to her breast. "Wow," she moaned lightly at the pressure of his hand against her nipple. The simple touch made her body tingle with heat.

His fingers rubbed the tip, circling the areola, making her back arch. Her hand went up to the juncture of her shoulder and neck, where the dip began. As if reading her mind he moved her hair away and kissed the dip. "It will hurt for a while. I'll do my best to minimize the pain you feel from it."

Her hands came down his chest again. "I don't really know what to do," she muttered against his neck.

"You don't need to." He pushed her back onto the pillows and hovered over her. He nestled between her legs. "Are you sure this is what you want?" His hands pressed into the mattress, holding his torso upright as hips came down to thrust against hers. He could feel her warmth through his pants, increasing his own ache.

Her lips trembled for a moment. "Y…y…y…yes." She gripped his sides.

"That didn't sound very sure." He rested on top of her, tracing her bottom lip with one finger. "We don't have to now."

"I keep seeing it," she said, stroking the stripes on his face. "Please? I want to remember your hands." Her hand ambled down his waist again and rested by the hem of his pants. "and your…" her fingers dipped between the material of his pants and boxers and traced the line of muscle just by his pelvis.

He hissed in pleasure at the contact, then exhaled heavily, half enthralled to finally combine their bodies, but with more trepidation than he had felt in the past. He feared hurting her more than if he would have been the one to take her virginity. "I need to get a condom from my bag." He said firmly. His own mind was going places, imaging her skin against his, building a fury in his mind.

She shook her head. "They didn't use one. I…can I feel your skin?"

"You could end up pregnant." He sat up quickly trying to regain some of his composure.

She sat up with him, legs crossed. "Please Sesshomaru? You said the mark would make this permanent? Right?"

He leaned his crescent moon against her forehead and sighed. "I could make you pregnant. You're only eighteen." He cupped her chin. She kissed his thumbs. "Is it really what you want?"

"I just want to feel you." She pressed her lips into his, running her hands up the sides of his body. "Be gentle?"

"Very," he exhaled again. "I might be nervous this time. You'll tell me if you want to stop?"

"I promise," she said. In the moonlight she could see the outline of his body, the way the light cast shadows on the dips of his muscles and the bulge in the front of his pants she wanted to relieve for him. "Does it have to be on my back?"

"I want to make you feel good, can you rest on your side?" He lay down with her and pulled her leg by the back of the knee over his hip. "Just relax," he said quietly, his tone becoming low and seductive.

"Is it," she touched the front of his pants, "bigger than humans?"

He laughed against her lips just as he was about to kiss her. "It's the same size. Do you want to see it?" He sat up again and pulled his pants and boxers off, throwing them onto the floor. "You've touched me before."

"It felt big, before," she said, eyes widening at what had remained hidden. It pointed straight at her, hard and hungry. She reached out timidly, feeling a fire burning between her own legs. "I feel so hot," she said as she reached out and touched the corona, running her hand down the full length of the shaft.

His hands came back up to her face as he kissed her that much deeper. His hips pumped lightly into her hand with each motion she made. He allowed her to toy with his heat until he felt like he would come in her hand then gently removed her fingers. "That's enough," he breathed heavily, fighting an internal battle. He lifted her leg over his hip again, covering her mouth with kisses. His mouth came down the side of her neck, sucking lightly, then inched over her collarbone, then back up where he would place his mark. He licked the area, satisfied when he heard the slightest moan release from her lips. He continued his conquest down the middle of her chest, licking the valley between her breasts. She moaned again, making him touch her that much more boldly. One hand wrapped around her breast while his mouth came out, eyes dilated to see her pleasure.

"It feels good," she muttered, breathing heavily.

"Your scent is rising." He licked the tip of her left nipple. After she groaned again he said, "Did you like that?"

"Yes," she said quietly.

His entire mouth covered her nipple, licking, flicking and sucking as his other hand traveled down her stomach. It circled her navel then dipped into the front of her panties. He pushed his knuckles against her warmth. "Oh," her hips arched into his hand. "Sesshomaru?" She sat up.

"What is it?" He kissed her mouth and eased her back onto her back.

"I'm scared," tears came from her eyes. "It burns and I want this…"

"It burns because you are aroused, trust me. Let me make you feel good." His middle and index fingers on both hands dipped into the sides of her panties and pulled them down her ankles. As he came back up he laid open mouth kisses on the inside of her ankles up her knee then along her thigh. "Open your legs."

"What are you doing?" Her eyes darted back and forth from the very hungry looking dog-demon between her legs and the ceiling.

One hand reached out and thumbed the cleft of her lips where they just began to part. "I want to taste you," he said panting. "Let me taste you."

"I liked this last time." She sat up breathing hard.

"Lay down," he pushed her shoulder back down. "Open your legs for me…I don't normally need to speak so much," he laughed lightly as she complied. He massaged her stomach with his hands as she parted for him and cocked her knees out to the side.

Her chest heaved with anticipation. "Not like this," she covered her eyes. "Please? Not on my back."

"Sit up," he moved off the bed and knelt down. "Come to the edge of the bed."

Her legs dangled on either side of him. She stared down at him, vulnerable and innocent.

"Open for me," he put pressure on her thighs to widen the space between. "This will feel good." He placed a chase kiss against her lower lips, then rose back to her stomach, suckling the sides of her belly button. He nuzzled her skin with his nose as his mouth worked lower and lower. He glanced up to gain consent. She nodded nervously, holding his head. A fire was raging inside of her but so was panic.

He closed his eyes concentrating on pleasuring her before he opened her lips. For a moment, he only ran the back of his fingers up and down the line of her opening. I can't believe someone would hurt her like that. He wondered if she had scarring, did she tear when they raped her? He forced the thought out of his head and opened her, taking the first lick against her clit. "Mmh," she moaned, rocking her hips against him. "Sesshomaru?"

"What is it, my love?" He said sucking deeply.

Hands tangled into his hair as hips thrust into his mouth.

She felt boiling honey burning in her stomach. Her cervix felt like it was on fire, she needed something from him, but didn't know what. "I don't know. I'm…"

He rested his forehead on her stomach, circling her clit with his finger. "Be patient. I'm trying to make you orgasm."

"It burns inside," she muttered.

"Do you want me to touch you inside?" He ghosted his fingers up her thigh and set them against her lip. He ran them down the line of her opening until he felt the hot center. He waited for her to object.

Her legs widened and her back arched, hands falling behind her to hold her up as his fingers entered. She gripped his wrist as he slowly began to pump in and out of her. His mouth fell back onto her clit. "You taste like heaven," he gripped her stomach in one hand and sucked forcefully again.

"Sesshomaru," she cried as her legs raised, widening her opening.

"That's it," he licked and sucked again, dipping his tongue into her folds and then bringing it back up to suck. "Just like that," he encouraged her. His fingers pressed deep into her vagina, lifting up, finding her g-spot.

"Oh…oh…oh…please," she begged for what she didn't know. She felt her walls hardening, her insides were burning, she rocked her hips in time with his fingers. She was helpless as she lay in her bed, sensations coming faster than she could process. Liquid spilled from within her.

He set his mouth against the opening and let his tongue dart in and out. Better to rid her of scars of the past before I enter. He kissed her then sucked one last time. She screamed in release, her body pulsed against his fingers. Her fingers dug into his skull from the intensity. When he looked up, she had tears in her eyes. He pushed his fingers back inside letting her ride out her orgasm. He came back up to her with his hand still between her legs. "It's supposed to feel like this." He wiped his mouth before he kissed her lips. "Does it feel good?"

"It feels really good." She wiped her eyes. "Please? I don't want to be on my back?"

"Roll over." He knelt next to her on the bed. "Put some pillows under your shoulders." He moved behind her. "Raise your hips and arch," he pressed on her lower back. "Is it okay?" She looked like an angel on her stomach. The moon cast a white shadow on her already light skin. It accented the lines and the dips of her sides as her legs straddled him.

She gripped the pillows in front of her. "I think so. You'll stop if I ask?"

"Yes," he leaned over her, kissing her shoulder and nipping at her right ear. She felt him touching her opening, his heat pressing against hers. His chest tapped against her shoulders.

"Hey," he tickled her face, "relax while I enter. Spread your legs a little wider."

She could feel his knees between hers. "Okay." She closed her eyes preparing for him.

"You'll like this." He gripped himself and lined himself up with her opening. He slid in slowly. The first nudge made her squeak. "Did it hurt?" He asked her. He was panting with the need to control himself, "I need to be in you."

"It's okay," she opened for him.

He pushed further, feeling her tighten against him. "You're flexing," he rubbed her back. "Relax my love, I won't hurt you. Let me in," he encouraged her. "Yes…like that." He felt her walls unraveling as he advanced until he was completely sheathed within her. He snaked an arm around her waist and between her legs, "I'm going to mark you as I come." Her neck was calling to him. The demon within him wanted to beat into her until she was howling, but restraint was needed. He took his first thrust, feeling her drip against his hot skin. He groaned into her ear. "You feel so good. You're so hot." He pushed again and again, then began quickly thrusting his fingers against her clit so she would come again. He found a rhythm and was surprised when she began to move with him.

"Oh…Sesshomaru…uh…mmmh," she groaned into the pillows. "It's burning again." She reached out to the hand he used to hold himself up and gripped it, as he pushed into her. He filled her and stretched her. The pulsing came back, she cried in pleasure, sure that she had just wet herself.

"Oh…" he moaned into her ear, losing his composure. "I'm sorry," he muttered before his hips began to shoot in and out of her. The storm was too much, too strong, a vortex of power surged through him as his eyes covered in red and his mouth found its way to her shoulder. "Be mine," he hissed before he sunk his teeth in and beat against her two more times. She orgasmed that much harder and he roared in release, trying to catch his breath. "Are you okay?" He gingerly licked the wound he inflicted.

"Yes," she whimpered beneath him. "It still feels good," she gripped one of his wrists. "Stay in me? Please? Just a little longer?"

"Yes," he kissed her neck, sighing. After a few minutes he removed himself from her body. He walked into her bathroom and washed himself off then took a warm washcloth and brought it back to her. He sat down on the bed staring at his tired mate in adoration. Her eyes were red, face puffy. She needed sleep. He wiped her vagina clean of the liquid from their sex. "You're beautiful, did you know that?"

"I love you," she said, voice losing its strength.

"You're tired," he threw the washcloth aside and pulled her to his chest as he lay down next to her. "Rest," he said to her, lacing his fingers through hers. "Sleep."

"It felt really good," she kissed his peck. "Thank you."

"When you sleep tonight, remember my body against yours," he curled into her as they rested on their sides. He lapped a few more times at her shoulder to heal the wound. "Does it hurt?"

"Mmmh," she sighed, already more than half asleep. She rolled into his chest, feeling warm and secure. For the first time in days, she slept soundly in the safety of his arms, unbothered by the dreams that had been haunting her.