Hinata sat on the side of the tub, ringing out her hair. The soak hadn't helped her stress at all. She was so encased in her thoughts, she didn't hear the door open, or her husband stepped in until she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.
She jumped, whipping around slashing him in the face with her hair. He stiffened as he found himself soaked. "Gaara!" She squeaked. "I'm sorry!" She snatched towels, handed him one, and tried to cover herself. He was her husband, and he had seen her change, but she didn't need to be just naked in front of him.
"I apologize. Coming in without speaking was not a good idea." He wiped his face clean.
"Is there something you needed?" She asked, tying her hair up in another towel, being more careful not to flick him with it.
"I believe I will wait for you to be done." He mumbled, walking back out of the bathroom.
She stared at the closed door and wondered what he had been thinking. He had found whatever it was important enough to come in while she bathed. He didn't usually interrupt unless he required something from the cabinet, and even then, he knocked.
He seemed out of it. She hoped he wasn't sick.
Shukaku was laughing at him. He didn't find this situation funny. He was annoyed with his line of thinking and was more annoyed the beast hadn't stopped him when he realized it was likely wasn't a good idea. He hadn't meant to sneak up on her. He was getting impatient and meant to catch her when she had already had a towel on. He heard the water start to empty, and he thought she would have been out. He was unaware of the extra step of draining her hair.
He rubbed his temples, leaning over his knees from the edge of the bed, trying to clear his head of any other dumb idea when his wife came out, eyeing him cautiously. Not how he was usually eyed like he might kill her more like he might just fall over and she would need to catch him.
She had put on her long light rap and braided back her hair as usual, not a much less risk to hit him in the face.
"Are you alright? Do you have a migraine?" She asked, approaching him slowly.
"Yes." He paused. "No, I have no migraine, and I apologize." He mumbled once more.
"Was there something you needed? I could have hurried if you asked. I didn't mean to take so long." She explained, her hands starting to fidget with the sleeves showing that she was becoming nervous once more.
He was only making all of this worse.
He should just do what he was told.
He stood crossed in the room and hugged her. She softened around him, accepting the affection without question bringing her arms up to light cover his back. "Gaara, are you sure you are okay? You're acting strangely."
"This is supposed to stop your acting strange." He admitted.
She paused, unable to see her face. He was unsure how she was reacting until she started to giggle. Was that supposed to happen? Had it worked? He was confused.
"Who told you that?" She lifted her head back to smile at him.
"Temari." Her face twitched downward.
"Did she say anything else?" She asked as her face quickly lost its smile.
"That you had a lot on your mind and required a hug." He explained, confused. Did she think Temari would tell him something she didn't want her to? He wouldn't have wanted to hear it from her.
"Oh." She sighed, laying her forehead on his shoulder.
"Is there something I have done that has caused you sudden distance?" He asked bluntly.
She smiled and held on tighter. He really couldn't be subtle. "I think we need to talk about something."
He nodded, releasing her gently and traveling back to sit on the bed. She slid the braid over her shoulder so she would have something to fidget with because she was sure this would get uncomfortable.
"It's nothing horrible..." She mumbled. "Well, it might be depending on how you look at it. It's just that..." She sat with a huff beside her husband and was surprised that no ball of sand immediately claimed her lap. She mentally thanked him for giving them some time to themselves. She made a note to thank him later.
"Does this have to do with the clan?" He wondered, impatiently.
"Well, no … I guess it could, but it wasn't something I was going to mention." She frowned. She was even confusing herself.
"Hinata." He grumbled, getting annoyed with her lack of put together.
"People have begun asking about us having children!" She squeaked out quickly. Not the best way to put it, she lacked a lot of information, but at least it was out there.
He stared at her, and she shrank as he put it together in his head.
"What did you tell them?" He wondered aloud.
Whatever he had thought the issue was, it certainly wasn't that. So he posed the first question that came to mind.
"I told them we hadn't talked about it." She explained. "I mean, I know Kage's are expected to have an heir even though it may not become the next Kage, and though I know bloodlines are not as important in Suna, but I know the council wished you would continue your line."
"They have mentioned it." Though he wasn't going to procreate just because they wanted him to.
"It is an embarrassing subject to speak about with others, especially since I can't speak for your opinion." She explained, her shoulders drooping.
"I had no plans to continue my line." He told her flatly.
He never thought about the possibility of having children, but he had never entertained the idea of getting married either.
Her face was unreadable, at least to him. She searched for his face, for further information, but honestly, he didn't have much more of an answer. "Hinata, I have never given it thought." He explained.
She closed her eyes and nodded with an audible breath, but was she upset or relieved.
Had she thought about it. He knew that women were more likely to think about children for their future since they were the ones affected the most by bearing it. He was also aware of the procreation instinct. The only time he remembered them speaking of children, she had her fear of being a broodmare for the Hyuga or the highest bidder. However, that was before they married.
Had she wanted to be a parent?
He suddenly was washed over with a heavy panic he wasn't prepared for.
He thought of his father, the cruel bastard that had tried to have him killed. What would he be like? He wasn't a kind man. He was not known for being good with children. Few children ever approached him. What if his children were scared of him. Even with the DNA of the only person to truly look at him before his beast.
'You humans overthink everything.' He could feel Shukaku roll his eyes. 'There is an issue before the child is barred.'
"Gaara, are you okay," Hinata asked. He realized he had panic frozen on his face. "What is it?"
"I don't think I would be a suitable parent." He voiced, watching the worry in her eyes turn to amusement. "I do not believe I should be trusted with children."
She covered her smile with the tip of her fingers. "That's what you're worried about? Gaara, I would trust you completely with your children."
He frowned at her.
"Truly. Shukaku-san would never let you." She smiled.
'Not if they were also hers.' The beast mused. 'Still not the issue.'
He ruffled his hair. He wasn't sure about this. It may take some more thought, maybe light debate of the situation. He had never been posed with things like this before. He would have never thought of it if he hadn't married. He hadn't so much as touched a woman gently before her.
He paused.
He may have figured out what the issue was.
He glanced at Hinata as he figured out what was making her so nervous about this.
He felt the sudden dread wash over him as he realized he shouldn't have asked. Her face changed as he did, from a light smile back to a red bundle of nerves.
"We don't have to have any of our own." She quickly whispered, standing up too stiffly, and walked over to her dresser. "I mean, there is an orphanage full of children, and we don't have to decide now. We are still rather young… and not something we need to put in stone now."
He stared at her back as she opened a drawer and started rifling through it though he was sure it was just to keep herself busy and away from him. When she needed to fidget, he had learned that she would find anything to keep her hands busy even if it didn't make any sense.
He sighed. He was sure this was failing as a husband.
He was heavily attracted to her. That wasn't the issue. He wasn't a gentle man. He couldn't forgive himself if he hurt himself in something he knew was supposed to be intimate. Shukaku berated him for his cowardice, but he was too terrified of causing her pain.
"It's okay." She whispered as her hands slowed, and her flight reflex seemed to wear off. "We've talked about it now. It's fine. I have your answer if anyone asks. We aren't currently planning any."
He crossed the room, laying a light warning hand on her back before curling around her. He didn't want to be whipped in the face again. He lowered his face into her shoulder and let out a heavy sigh. He was hurting her this way too.
"Really, Gaara, I'm not worried. I think I was just too caught up in what everyone was asking. I panicked. I wasn't sure how you would react." She laid her hand over his under her bust. "I don't want to rush anything. I want you to be comfortable."
He growled at himself, earning him a light palm cupping his head. She pulled him closer, placing her lips on his temple. "If we want children, we can adopt."
He nodded, though he was nearly sure that she was just backtracking at this point.
"I am not a kind man." He mumbled into her skin.
"I don't think that wouldn't mean you would be a bad father." She assured him.
He tightened his grip, his father flashed in his mind again, and he was quickly jerked out of the idea.
Somehow knowing what he was thinking, whether by his reaction or she was just that good at reading him, she turned in his arm and made him look at her. "You are not your father no more than I am mine." She told him sternly.
Her eyes sharpened at the idea. He nodded, something to ponder another time.
Though he was now starting to get a headache.
"I think it is time for bed." He leaned down, pressed lips to her shoulder.