What Hinata was expecting even less than his sudden panic attack was his attack on her afterward. She wasn't sure what compelled him to be so affectionate after his break down, but she was starting to worry. He was fighting himself.
Not Shukaku, himself.
Her back jammed up against the wall in the gentlest way he could manage. She was suspended by his strength alone. All the sand in the room had retreated as it usually did when they were intimate.
His fingers twitched at their place on her thighs, trying to be gentle and tense at the same time. She was sure that he was trying to imitate their short-lived wedding night with the placement on the wall, but she was far too distracted with his shaking to be quite as turned on as she was that night.
He explored her lips, not like he usually did. He was usually so curious about feeling her and how she reacted. He would be invested so much in thought that his hand roaming would be out of sheer interest and instinct. However, right now, he didn't seem like he was curious, more desperate. Not desperate to have her, but desperate to please her. She could keep up with him. All attempts to make him slow were met with more fidgeting and a clear misunderstanding of what she was trying to do.
She finally had to stop him. Her worry won. She pushed him back just enough to gasp and look at his face. "Gaara, I think you should calm down first. You're going to hurt yourself." She whispered out of breath.
His hands twitched as he continued to shiver. The fears still emanated in his eyes. "I thought this was something you wanted."
"Not because you feel you need to." She explained, gently running her finger back on his hair around his ears to calm him. "You're shaking, and you're still coming down from your panic attack. I think we should just settle down with some tea."
His confusion set into his eyes, and she felt horrible. He was trying to please her, and her refusal was scaring him further.
"I'm only worried about you." She whispered, leaning back in to give him a lighter, less heated kiss.
Gaara slowly removed himself, letting her down, but she stopped him from fleeing, snuggling into his chest. "I am doing this wrong again." He voiced.
She mumbled into his shirt. "It's okay."
Gaara held tightly to his wife in her sleep. She had snuggled up to him and changed the topic to mindless things until he had calmed down naturally. She had then fallen asleep, wrapped up into him. They usually slept close, or he would find himself clung to her but never the reverse, but she was latched to him tonight.
Gaara was unsure if it was intentional to show him that she was going nowhere, or it was her nature since he had had such a violent episode. He buried himself further into her as he tried to will away the thoughts of his failures. He couldn't even give her the affection she had wanted on their wedding night when he tried.
She assured him that she was only worried, but he was sure this was, in most ways, his fault. His possessiveness would drive her away. It was only getting worse with time, and despite that, he had no intentions to try to distance himself to try to make the situation better. Shukaku growled violently at the idea.
The beast was silent during the attack but now was berating him for scaring her.
Gaara hadn't meant to snap. He was not angry with her. He was angry with Shukaku's constant points on whose side she would take on whatever they were arguing about. She didn't need to be the mediator for every argument. It wasn't her job to make peace with his demon. She did it because she cared, and Shukaku wanted to exploit that.
"Gaara?" She hummed, rubbing her eyes. "Are you still awake?"
He wouldn't lie. He simply dug his nose into her neck to hide his face.
She yawned audibly and shifted, guiding him to lay over her flat with his head on her collarbone. She laid her fingers through his hair like she used to put him to sleep. She had done it so rarely anymore since their wedding night. Her calm, unfrightened, entirely trusting presence, and the unwillingness Shukaku had to wake her had left him to sleep largely on his own since she had moved into his room.
The tingling sensation of the chakra over his scalp was calming and comfortable. He knew that before long. He would wake up with no recollection of how long she had done the motions before he had given in.
It was odd for knocking to not wake a ninja, even more odd for Gaara of all ninja to not be stirred. He knew they were in there. Their guard had informed him that they had been yelling the night before, but it had calmed, and they hadn't come out since. They did want to risk that one-tailed beast holder would not kill them for intruding after not answering their calls. Naruto whined at the door before finding the woman he had reserved the room for them from to open it for him.
He peeked in with another call to them, and only then did someone inside react. A massive ball of sand was hurled at him, stopping at the door to form a rabid looking tanuki. Gaara's eyes flew open as he jerked upward, making a bridge over what he had been laying on, which Naruto could now see was Hinata in only a loose chest binding. "Sorry!" Naruto yelped, covering his eyes with one hand.
"Naruto-kun?" Hinata wondered, sitting up slightly.
"Get out," Gaara growled, and the door slammed, knocking him back.
He could hear rustling from the other side of the door, and Hinata squeaked as she realized she wasn't covered.
"We slept in," Gaara mumbled.
"It was rather late when I treated you. I'm sorry, I was just hoping you could sleep." She added, her voice was muffled through the fabric.
"What are we supposed to do today?" Gaara finally mumbled in a weak voice as the bed creaked under his weight.
Silence fell, and it was a few moments before Hinata hummed, and he heard a single light pair of footsteps come to the door. She opened the door and peeked out her unbrushed hair and only the outer robe she held closed. "Naruto-kun, you wouldn't mind if we stayed in today. Gaara wasn't feeling too well last night. I don't want to push him today."
Naruto stared blankly at Hinata and realized how different this was to the last time she had apologized to him. Last time she was in near tears over what the Hyuga was forcing her to do, reluctantly taking her place. She fidgeted uncomfortably and was near tears. Now she was giving a warm worried glance behind her husband with a sand creature rubbing its face at her hip. She seamlessly moved her hand back to appease it by rubbing the side of the massive head, with only a glance down. She had invested in Gaara in a way only she could. Entirely without fear for herself.
Naruto always worried about his friends' tortured souls. Hinata only does things out of duty and rips herself to shreds for her clan, never receiving anything but rejection back. Gaara never had anyone who truly cared about his well being, giving up quickly out of fear.
He would have never pictured the two broken, misshapen puzzle pieces to fit together, but there it was in front of him. Hinata gave her open heart to someone who would take it instead of abusing it. Gaara got the needed attention he was starved for.
Naruto face stretched into a happy grin. "Yeah, I'll cancel whatever comes up. Hey, when you're hungry, send for me we could do dinner." He pulled the door closed with a wave to her confused look and waited only a moment more to hear a grateful relieved sigh from Gaara and a light hum followed by a squeak from Hinata as the bed creaked and the blankets rustled.
Back at home, much better.
It was an odd feeling for a few reasons. Hinata had never really realized how much it had become home. Suna had become so completely her home. It was where she lived, it was where her husband was, where she worked, where she had family and had made friends. She had investments here. There were things that she wanted to do eagerly though she knew she would have to wait until some built-up work was done.
Temari and Matsuri had met them at the gate, with Etsu waving wildly. She had a fat lip that Matsuri seemed more proud of than worried about. She would have to ask about it later. She made Temari blush when she handed her a package that she was sure was much bigger than she expected to receive back. She had given Shikamaru more than enough time by giving him his so early into the visit, he was able to battle his nature long enough to pick her up something more than writing a letter.
Luckily nothing too horrible had cropped up while they were gone. Most of the work could be done with those who had temporarily taken their positions and signed what needed to be signed.
She checked on the Hyuga compound, the greenhouse, the orphanage, and by the end of the day, she found herself so completely exhausted she hadn't even noticed she had fallen asleep on Gaara's couch until he woke her by trying to slip the papers out of hand that had nearly fallen out of her lap.
She rubbed her face and yawned, and he responded by leaning down and kissing her lightly. She blinked, not expecting it, and smiled as he sat down beside her, letting her curl into him while he continued his paperwork.
She was back home.