Three

The next morning, Santana opened her eyes slowly, she could feel them stinging far worse than they had done the night before. She had to fight to keep them open as she squinted against morning light creeping in through her curtains. She turned her head to the side slightly, wincing as she felt a harsh pounding pain shoot through her head as she moved it. she frowned and let out a small whine. Her squinting did little to help her head ache, in fact, it only seemed to increase the pain that she felt. She reached her arm out slightly, grabbing the clock that stood on her bed-side table. She tilted it slightly so that she could get a better view of the time. The bright green numbers flashing in her face only made her squint more.

It was 9:00 a.m. Santana let go of her clock, pushing it away from her slightly. She let out a low pitched groan, covering her face with her hands, hoping that she'd be able to defuse some of the sound.

Her heart grew heavy as the realisation that Brittany had now been gone for three whole hours sunk in. There was nothing that could be done about it now. The blonde was already three hours into her journey to Oakesdale, where she would be starting the brand new chapter of her life. A chapter, that didn't involve Santana.

For Santana's liking, it was way to early in the morning to be waking up. She wasn't much of a morning person, but then again, she never had been. Especially not on her weekends. But, this weekend in particular was going to be even worse for the girl. No matter how long she stayed in her bed, she still wouldn't feel like getting up and greeting the day.

She pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breathe. She decided that it was definitely, far too early for her to be laying in her bed thinking, or more moping, about any girlfriend, current or otherwise.

Santana rolled over so that she was now facing away from the window and her clock. Despite the amount of warmth that had flooded into Santana's bedroom that early September morning, she pulled her comforter all the way up to her chin. She had never been able to sleep without having some form of cover on her. No matter how warm it got, she had to be at least slightly covered; she had always found a sense of security in them.

Santana closed her eyes once more, hoping that sleep would soon once again consume her. She had spent half of the night crying, the violent sobs that had racked through her body had left her both physically and emotionally exhausted. She curled herself up into a tight ball, trying to get as comfortable as she possibly could.

She had wanted to make the most of what little time she had left to sleep. Santana knew that, not matter how much she didn't want to, she had to be up and out of bed again within the next two hours to start getting ready for the day. Every Saturday, without fail, Santana's abuela- her dad's mom- would visit the small family.

Her abuela, Alma, hated laziness; Santana knew that if she wasn't awake and dressed by the time her abuela arrived at twelve o'clock sharp, that her grandmother would be less than please and that she would take great joy in voicing her displeasure.

Santana felt torn about her abuela's weekly visits, though, her ambivalence towards them had only started over the last couple of years. On the one hand, Santana loved seeing her grandmother because, her abuela was a woman she had always looked up to and respected. Not to mention that Santana had a very close bond with her grandmother, they were very similar in many ways. But, on the other hand, she hated her grandmother's visits because, as Santana got older, she had started to notice that her abuela could be a very judgemental person, even with those that she loved. She would watch them closely, studying them. She'd quickly pass judgements on them, for even the smallest of things.

That's one of the reasons why Santana was so intent on keeping her abuela in the dark about her being a lesbian. She didn't know how her grandmother was going to react to that little piece on information, fear of the unknown was another huge factor in preventing Santana from telling her. She knew her abuela was a religious woman, another reason stopping her from telling her abuela the truth. But, Santana knew that while ever her abuela didn't know her secret, she couldn't pass her judgements on her, that suited Santana just fine.

Santana had a huge fear of judgement. Her abuela getting to know worried Santana everyday because of that reason. She knew that sooner or later she would have to tell her grandmother about her sexuality, she couldn't keep it hidden forever. She just hoped that it would be later and that she would be the one to tell her abuela rather than someone else.

That was one of the things that Santana hated the most about Lima. It was a small, fairly conservative town and people talked. She was surprised that her grandmother hadn't already heard about her and Brittany through the grape vine. She was thankful, but surprised, none the less.

She tried to clear her mind, pushing her worries as far behind her as she could by taking another deep, shaking breath. She breathed in through her nose and let it out through her mouth. She repeated this action a couple of times, feeling her nerves slowly edging away from her.

She had wanted to focus on sleeping and sleeping alone, though her brain didn't seem to want the same things for the girl, there were just far too many things she could be stressing about. She had figured that if she shut her mind down completely, that her negativity and worrying would leave her alone.

She couldn't have been more wrong even if she had tried to be. Her brain seemed determined on giving her a heavy feeling in her stomach as her worries seemed to increase the more she tried to relax. As soon as one worrying thing left Santana's mind, it was quickly replaced by another. Leaving her feeling anxious and slightly sick.

Typical, just, typical.

She opened her eyes again, though this time, she forced herself to sit up in her bed. Her covers fell down her body, crumpling in a pile near her waist. Santana winced slightly as the pain in her head increased once she was at up right. She was just thankful that her mother kept a stock of pain killers in the house. She was sure that she would be needing to take some before the day was over.

She ran a hand through her dark, messy hair and looked around her untidy bedroom. She wondered how it ever got to be that bad, she sighed as she looked at all of the empty water bottles, food cartons and plates and glasses. She screwed her face up at the sight before her and made a quick mental note to clean it up after her abuela had gone home later that day.

She pushed herself out of her bed with another low groan and sluggishly made her way into the bathroom, she set the shower running, she stood with her arm extended, waiting for the water to heat up to the perfect temperature. She removed her arms from the stream of water and rid herself of her boy shorts and tank top that she had slept in. She deposited them in the laundry hamper, before turning to face the small mirror. She brushed her teeth before stepping into the shower.

As the water hit her body she sucked in a small amount of air through her teeth as the heat took her breath away slightly. She tipped her head backwards, and closed her eyes while the water ran down her face, she rubbed at her eyes removing small amounts of water that had seeped through into them. She showered as quickly as possible using the hot water to rid her off her stress and worries.

She went back into her bedroom, she dropped herself down at her vanity and looked in the mirror. She took in the sight of her tired expression, her eyes were still bloodshot and stinging from the water. She noticed that she had dark circles under her eyes from where she had hardly slept since being back from Egypt.

She sighed, before she started to dry her hair, allowing it to maintain some of it's natural curliness, she tied it in a loose side ponytail and pulled on her outfit for the day; a pair of black skinny jeans, a white tank top and a pair of dark purple high top Converse

She stood from her vanity, not bothering to apply any make-up that morning; it wasn't like she was trying to impress anybody anymore. She didn't care how she looked.

She grabbed her phone from her bed-side table and unlocked it, hoping to see some form of contact from Brittany, much to Santana's dismay, there was nothing. She sighed and slipped her phone into her back pocket.

Santana walked down the stairs, the pounding in her head seemed to pulse with every step that she took. She placed two of her fingers on either side of her head and massaged her temples, something that her mom had told her to do multiple times in the past whenever she had a head ache.

It seldom worked for her, but, there was no harm in trying.

When Santana reached the kitchen she peeked her head around the door and scanned the kitchen for any sign of life. Unfortunately, Santana caught sight of her mother making coffee. She had been hoping that the kitchen would be empty, that she would be the only one awake at this time. She had avoided her mother last night, knowing that it was more good look than management that she had been able to escape after she had come home from Brittany's house and from being sat out side with Dani.

Santana had closed the door behind her with a light click, trying to remain as quiet as she possibly could. She took a deep breath, preparing herself for the onslaught she knew was bound to come her way if her mother saw her. She knew that her mother would be nothing but overly sympathetic for her. She hated that fact, but it was a fact that her mother would want to be there for her. She knew that her mom was only doing what she though was best for her daughter. But, it still wasn't what Santana wanted from her.

She rested her head back against the door and closed her eyes tight shut. "Santana?" Her mom called from the kitchen, the sound of her mother's voice made her eyes spring open.

"Yes, mami. It's me." Santana replied with a sigh, whishing that she had spent longer talking to Dani, the girl had said she would listen to her. She wondered if it was too late to run out of the house and go next door. Before Santana had time to do anything else her mother was in the hallway engulfing Santana in an overly tight hug.

Santana had always thought that hugs only made things worse. It was something that had developed in her through personal experience, even the hug from Brittany had only served in making things harder for her. Santana had been truly surprised in herself when she had accepted the hug from Dani. She hadn't wanted sympathy in any form from the girl, but she did appreciate it. She'd have been laying had she said other wise.

For reasons that Santana didn't quite understand, she would have rather been talking to Dani still than dealing with her mother. She had never wanted to talk to Dani before, unless she was throwing joking insults her way.

"Oh, mija," her mom said in a sympathetic tone, she pulled out of the hug slightly, her dark eyes scanned Santana's face. "How are you?" She asked, tilting her head to the side just like Dani had.

Santana supposed that the apparent 'sympathetic head tilt' was in fact, a real thing.

"I'm fine." Santana said shifting herself from her mother's arms. "Well maybe not fine, but I will get through this, I'll manage." She lied. Truthfully, Santana didn't know if she was going to manage, for a long time now, Brittany had been a constant thing in her life. Even when they were nothing more than friends, they spent every day with each other.

Brittany had been her anchor, she had always been her anchor. She had kept Santana grounded.

Santana didn't know how she was going to cope, or if she was even going to cope. Brittany hadn't only ended their relationship, she was gone, Santana wouldn't even see her in passing in the hallways at school or on the street, and that made things harder for her.

"Oh, I hope so." Her mom said.

Santana sucked in a breath through her teeth. "I think I am just going to go to bed and watch some old movies." Santana said with a small shrug."

"Okay then, sweetheart." her mom said running a hand through Santana's hair.

"Please stop petting me, I'm not a dog." Santana said in a sarcastic manner, making her mom laugh weekly.

"Okay, well if you need anything you know where to find me."

Santana nodded, "Honestly though mami, I think I'll be okay." She said, she flashed her mom a quick smile before walking away from her.

Santana sighed, knowing there was no way to avoid her mom this time around. She would have to pass through the kitchen at some point in the day. Santana slowly made her way into the kitchen, hoping that her mom wouldn't be as interested as she had been last night.

Her mom looked up to the door and gave her daughter a small smile as she entered the room, "Good morning chica," her mom, Maribel, said. She got another cup out for Santana and started to make her a cup of coffee. "Are you okay?" She asked, titling her head slightly.

There it is. Santana thought before lying, "Yeah, I'm good." She said with a small head bob.

"Really?" Her mom replied quirking an eyebrow at the girl, Santana nodded her head slowly.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You don't look it." Her mom said casually.

"Gee thanks." Santana said sardonically, "that's the type of thing you want to hear." Santana said.

"I just mean, you look tired." Her mom said.

"I'm not wearing any make-up." Santana said with a shrug.

"That must be it." Santana's mom said, giving her daughter a knowing look before pouring another cup of coffee and handing it over to Santana. Her mom sighed and said, "I know you might not want to talk to me, but I am here for you, you know?"

Santana nodded slowly, "Yeah. I know." She said, it was true. Santana did know that she could go to her mom with a lot of things. But this wasn't one of them. Relationship problems and post relationship problems were just something that Santana couldn't share with her mom. "I think I'm just gonna go sit outside, get some air." Santana said.

Her mom nodded, "Okay." She said, as Santana got to the door her mom called out to her, "Santana?" The darked haired girl turned around and sighed. "It'll get better." She said.

Santana nodded, "I know." She said, she had told herself over and over again last night that things would get better and that in the end everything would work it's self out. She had said it more as a coping method than actually believing her own words. For the most part, it had worked.

Santana walked through the door, breathing in and out slowly, composing herself before her tears had chance to even sting her eyes. She held her coffee cup tightly in both hands, allowing the hot pot to burn her skin slightly.

She sat herself down on the wooden bench on the porch, feeling thankful that her father had fixed a cushion to it. She placed her cup of coffee between her knees and held it there while she grabbed the blanket off of the back of the seat and wrapped it around her shoulders.

Though the sun was bright, the slight breeze held a chill to it- one she hadn't felt while she had been inside the house. The breeze signalled that fall was starting to make it's way back to Lima, much to Santana's dismay, she had always much preferred the summer and spring months.

She looked at the clear blue sky, and breathed in the remaining smells of summer, that were soon going to be missing. Santana brought her cup up to her lips and took a large gulp from it, the searing liquid burnt the inside of her mouth and her throat.

She placed the cup on the floor, hoping it would cool down soon enough.

She leaned her head back on the bench and closed her eyes, she listened to the birds chirping happily in their trees and the rustling of the leaves.

A voice pulled Santana from her thoughts, "Well hey you." Dani said brightly, Santana lifted her head and opened her eyes at the sound of the other girl's voice. Dani smiled at her before she pulled her ear buds out and turned off her music.

Her breathing was ragged and her cheeks were a light shade of pink. Santana noticed a thin sheen of sweat across the shorter girl's collar bone. It annoyed Santana slightly, that even with no make up on and fresh from a run, Dani still managed to look good.

Santana threw her a weak smile and waved half-heartedly, "Hi." She said.

Dani's smile seemed to grow as she took in the sight of the girl, "You look nice today," she said.

Santana looked down at herself and then back up to Dani, she furrowed her eyebrows at the other girl, "Seriously?" She asked, Dani nodded her head slowly. "I kind of thought I looked like shit." She admitted.

Dani chuckled and shook her head, "No, trust me, you look good." She said.

"Thanks."

"So how are you?" Dani asked, she walked towards the girl and joined her on the bench.

Santana shrugged, she had been able to play it off with her mom, it had been easy for Santana to tell her that she was feeling okay. But last night, Dani had seen Santana in her emotional state, Santana hadn't let her mom see her that way, nor would she let her mom see her that way. For some reason, no matter how much she wanted to, Santana didn't feel right lying to Dani about how she was actually feeling.

"Well, I'm not crying anymore," Santana offered with a humourless laugh

Dani nodded her head slowly, "Well, at least there's that then." She joked, Santana's lips curled up slightly.

"It hurts, Dani." Santana admitted. The blonde opened her mouth to say something to the taller girl, but before she could form any words, Santana was hugging her again, her arms weaved around Dani's neck pulling her closer. Dani slowly wrapped her arms around Santana's waist and ran her fingers up and down the girl's back slowly.

Dani turned her mouth down in thought, she pulled out of the hug and took Santana's hand in hers, lacing their fingers together, pulling Santana up from her seat. "Come on, come with me."

What do you think about this chapter? Love it? Hate it?

P.S; I know things are starting slowly at the minute for them, but I didn't want this to be too fast paced, it will progress further than this, I promise. :)