Chapter 17

Facing a Fear

They had parted ways, and Jack was now at the North Pole, in bed a few days later. He wasn't asleep, he was laying on top of the covers, hands under his head while he stared at the ceiling. The room was cool, with a cold breeze coming through the open window, and Jack was comfortable; physically, more so than emotionally. She had said he'd done alright, not well, not good; just alright. He thought he had done a bit better than just alright, but she must have seen how upset he was at the end, he really thought he had hurt her. He had wanted to, during the fight, but afterwards it had waned an faded until he was wracked with guilt for having hit her. Jack could still remember how that warmth in his hand had felt; rewarding, and sickeningly nice. Is that what she had meant when she said it would feel good? She said they could do it again, if he wanted, though he didn't think she'd be happy if he said no. The memory of the warmth wasn't enough, he wanted the real thing again, but he hated what he had to do to feel it. He was delaying leaving for their meeting in the field; he hadn't really decided if he wanted to go.

He decided yes at the last minute, and made it just as she was getting ready to leave. Jack dropped into the lush field and looked at her; blonde hair and normal eyes. He sighed out of relief, he wasn't ready yet for when she was different. It always made him feel uneasy.

"New plan kiddo." She said, seeing him.

"Oh, fantastic. After I thought the old one worked so well." Jack said, his voice heavy with sarcasm. He had meant it this time.

"Oof someone's in a mood, knock it off. I said you did a good job, didn't I?"

"You said I did an alright job. Was it alright or good?" There was a pause after his question, and Jack hoped for god. He didn't know why he cared so much what she thought.

"It was alright."

"Oh."

"New plan though; you're going to think of something for me."

"Okay?"

"You're going to think of a memory, you don't want anyone to see. Someone personal, maybe embarassing; something that you do not want others to see." Jack noticed a stick near her feet, roughly the same length as his staff, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Were you practicing?" He asked, teasing.

"No idea how you can spin it so much without your hands hurting, I've given up on it for now." Jack had to laugh; she sounded like a child. It reminded him of Jamie, when he couldn't get something right on the first go.

"So you're going after my staff again?"

"No, just you. I only need to touch you to see the memory."

"Why? I don-"

"Once I have seen it, then it is sort of in the open – what if Death saw it? Bunny? Pitch?" The last name struck Jack; it would be another weapon against him. Pitch hadn't succeeded yet in destroying im physically, but emotionally, or mentally wouldn'tbe hard. Jack already felt frail. He looked, and saw she was already gone.

"Oh for-"He started, and rolled forward just in time, feeling her hands brush his hoodie. They began again, much like last time, with Jack managing to narrowly avoid her as she appeared and disappeared. Jack was better at it this time, having somewhat figured out how she moved, but he still took risks in dodging too late. He caught sight of her, across the field, she wasn't moving.

"New idea!" She shouted, using the stick to draw a long line in the grass; dragging up dirt as she did. She threw the stick aside and gestured to the line.

"Hit me hard enough to knock me past the line, and you get a treat!"

"Oh good, maybe she'll end me so I can stop this." Jack muttered to himself. "What do I get then?" He called over to her.

"I'll give a detail; a little snippet of a memory of your old life." She called back, and moved. The words echoed in Jack's head. Could she? She'd see all of though; only to give him a small bit? He wanted it though, and he'd get it. He tightened his grip on his staff, and threw himself back into the fight. The two of them moved faster than they had before, and reaches for jack were becoming more often, and closer. He could feel her pull at his hoodie and the hem of his pants, but she had yet to touch his skin. Jack dodged, and continued to do so, until he saw it. She was a good distance from him, not yet moving; he decided it was now or never. Jack swung his staff, and focused on what he wanted; to remember.

The warmth was even stronger than last time; he felt hot as it travelled from his hands to the rest of his body, once again settling in his chest. He couldn't see her, she had gone past the line and apparently over an embankment Jack hadn't noticed til now. He raced down the embankment and looked out for her, but he didn't see her, or anyone else in the field, all he saw was a river.

"No." Jack said outloud, before running to the edge of the water and looking into it. The water was too deep, too dark for him to see anything from here. Jack threw his staff into the grass near the edge, and without thinking, jumped into the river. The water hurt his eyes, but he held them open as he tried to see her amongst it. He heard an odd noise; a humming from somewhere in the water and a short distance from him, he saw a little white ball of light. Jack kicked at the water and propelled himself to her as fast as he could. The humming grew louder but once he got to her, it stopped abruptly, content he had found her. Jack felt around the mud of the riverbed until he felt her arm, which is when it happened. He felt a sharp pinch in his arm; like he had been shocked on the hand, and it had travelled upwards through the muscles of his arm. Jack ignored the feeling, and grabbed onto her arm, and put his other arm around her shoulder and began to pull the two of them to the surface. The water surface broke with the loud splashing of water, and Jack pulled her from the water, and laid her on the grass. He collapsed into the grass next to her and closed his eyes; he focused on his breathing, trying to ignore how badly his lungs ached. He had seen the cuts again, they covered her arms and what bit of chest he could see when she wore the singlet. They seemed to fade and stop at her neck, not spreading over her face. They were paper thin, faded and white, and most were an inch or so long; none longer than 2 inches. Her eyes flickered open, and stared into Jack's; he realised he had begun to stare at her. She didn't talk, but she moved her hand, and grabbed onto Jack's wrist. His eyes flashed with the bright white, and for a moment he saw two people; they were walking on a path through a forest, it was snowing and the two were carrying ice skates. She was young, with brown hair that came to her shoulders and wide brown eyes. He was obviously older, with shaggy brown hair and brown eyes that same colour as hers. The scene rippled, and with another flash of white, Jack saw the sky above him. It had grown heavy with clouds, making the area dark, and the air had grown colder.

"Who was that?" Jack asked.

"You."

Jack didn't respond, he simply stood up and grabbed his staff from where he had thrown it. He heard her move, and realised he had left her. He turned around to help her up but she was already on her feet, and was wringing the water from her hair.

"Oh I should'v-" She shook her head at Jack and smiled.

"Don't need it kid, you already helped me once."

"It was my fault."

"No it wasn't, now would yo-"

"I hit you! I didn't think you'd go so far, and I didn't know there was a river an-"

"Stop worrying, and enjoy the fact you know what you looked like as a human." She said, pausing before smiling again. "Enjoy the fact you know what your sister looked like."

Jack was stunned. "I have a sister?"

She nodded in response, and pulled her coat on; Jack didn't even question how she had gotten it. He could feel his body shaking, and without a word, he took off into the air. It was night now, and Jack flew through the cold air with a smile on his face. He flew over Burgess, slowly down to wave at Jamie as the boy was climbing out of his family's car, and flew on; Jack didn't often go higher than the clouds but tonight the flew through them, weavng in and out of the grey clouds as he headed towards the North Pole. He could see the sparkle of Sandy's dream sand amongst the clouds as he flew, and knew he would be covered when he landed; it made him laugh, and he rushed even faster through the air. Drops of rain splashed against his hands and lower legs, and were repalced by the soft falling of snow as Jack flew close to the North Pole. He circled a few times overhead before dropping into the North Pole through his skylight. The room was quiet, the lights had dimmed so they were dark but gave off just enough light to see where Jack was going, as he walked down the hallway to the bedrooms. He couldn't stop himself from myself; he as practically shaking, he was giddy. He stopped at the door to Tooth's room and pushed it open just enough to check if she was there; she was, curled up on a bed Jack couldn't quite see, sleeping peacefully. Jack closed the door slowly, making sure it didn't make any noise then turned to head to his room, not expecting to see North in front of him. Jack jumped where he stod but luckily, was able to stop himself making any noise. He glared at North for a second, before his face become one of nervous guilt.

"I know I've been gone, I was ju-" Jack began to defend himself but North held up a hand and smiled softly at Jack.

"You must not worry Jack; Tooth is well, you check on her as well, is good to see. We worry when you disappear, we are family, families worry but we know you will be careful. You have been busy, yes?" North walked into Jack's room, following behind Jack, and smiled. Jack set his staff against the wall and laid down on his bed, sinking into the soft matress.

"Is she okay?" He asked, realising he had never really checked on Tooth until now.

"She is well; she is strong, recovers well. Was a warrior when we met." North said, looking at Jack. North's face was oddly serious, something Jack didn't see often.

"Tooth tells me not to worry, Bunny says opposite; must I worry?" North asked.

"About what?"

"You, Jack. You have been all over place lately, have you recovered fully from fire? She is strange girl, maybe not say thank you but appreciates your help. You do not need to hide, we ar-"

"A family." Jack said, with a smile.

North shook his head and kept on smiling.

"She is strange, but it's nice that there's someone here I'm closer to in age, and she sems to, idunno, understand memories differently to Tooth. They're not all going to be good, and I'm worried about the bad ones. She's kinda helping me sift through it." Jack admitted; he hadn't wanted to say it to anyone but he expected the girl had already figured it out. North nodded at Jack and gave Jack a few solid pats on the shoulder, before leaving the room.

"Rest well." Jack heard North call back, as Jack closed his bedroom door. Jack smiled to himself as he laid down in his bed and stared at the ceiling again, the cover pulled up to his chest. Jack hadn't wanted to say it to North, but he truly was enjoying his time with her, though not simply due to age; it was like being a young kid hanging out with the cooler big kids, someone who swore and fought, someone who wasn't worried about being gentle with Jack. The bruises he could feel on his body from jumping and falling against the ground in misjudged dodges was proof. He let his eyes close but, rather than drifting to sleep, he felt something odd. The feeling of being submerged in cold water, the feeling of it pressing against his eyes and mouth, and the wet stickiness of his hands. Jack sat upright and gasped heavily, he was breathing quickly; panting. He was safe in bed, dry and nowhere near the river. He could hear the window rattling from the wind outside; the sound was comfrting, he always liked to hear the wind. It had been his first friend after he woke up. Jack didn't worry about trying to fall asleep again, he curled up in his blankets and looked out of his window. The noise of the wind, and the soft noises of North working in the workshop soon had Jack asleep; one of the most peaceful sleeps he'd had in some time.

He Found himself in the field again the next day, they hadn't made concrete plans to meet up, but he hoped she would show up. He spent the time throwing his staff around; tricks others seemed impressed by, but to him they were second nature. He heard chatter over the hill, and saw her; as well as Eros. Jack felt his heart stop, he couldn't fight her with Eros there; how would Eros handle it? Jack wasn't keen on getting an arrow shot at him, and less keen on one making contact with him.

"Hey kid!" Eros called out, waving excitdly at Jack; she rolled her eyes but smiled.

"She tells me you two have been practicing."

"Oh? Yeah I guess." Jack wasn't sure what else she had told him.

"Jack Frost!" She shouted at him, and Jack was ready to recoil. "You never mentioned you were bloody scared of water!" Jack could only stare at her, as she marched closer to him and stopped, her arms crossed as she looked at him.

"I mean, I only told one person. Who I didn't expect to gossip." Jack was bitter. Her face softened and she sighed, Eros was looking at her.

"Kid, I didn't realise how big of a deal it was for you to have gone into the water after me. So, I figured, you could pick something as a thank you."

Jack perked up, but was cautious.

"Pick what? A memory?"

"Yes, one of yours or, one of mine. Random of course, pinpointing them is… hard." She sat on the grass and motioned for Jack to join her; while Jack sat down, Eros wandered off towards the river. Jack watched Eros for a moment, then noticed a hand grab his.

"Which one?"

"Uh yours?" Jack said, without thinking.

He saw the white flash again, then opened his eyes to see himself in a cave, sunlight coming in through the caves ceiling; filtering through tiny holes in the rock. The cave was just light to see in, and Jack could hear voices; shouting. Jack walkedslowly towards the voices, and found himself in a large cavern with an open ceiling that was partly covered by a tree canopy; the young girl was standing in the middle of the cavern, and Death was nearby. It was her that was shouting, Death didn't seem to be saying anything.

"You said it would work!"

"I said-"

"I know what you said, you said it would work if you did it correctly; you messed up on purpose!"

Her voice was a screech, Death tried to speak but it was a weak attempt. Jack saw that all the cuts were there, but fresh; they much be new, recent. He noticed the little drops of blood on the ground, some wet, some beginning to dry, and gasped. It was very recent. She didn't seem to notice she was covered in the tiny cuts; her arms, legs and upper chest were covered, fading at her neck so that none covered her face.

"You said it would work, you explained it; I've read it all again and again, and again, and it didn't work! You stopped it!"

Death sighed and tried weakly to speak. "Pitc-"

Jack was shocked at how quickly she had grabed the stone and thrown it, narrowly missing Death's head; Jack wasn't sure if she had missed on purpose.

"I don't bloody care about Pitch bloody Black, or whatever the hell it is he wants! Can he do it?"

"Do what, child?"

"The god damn ritual! If he can do it, he can have the stupid memories!"

"Do not speak about him like that." Death said, and Jack could hear the undertone in his voice; a warning.

"Do not speak to me like I am any other spirit; like we are any form of team! I am no child, I am no team member of yours, I am no god damn spirit!" She grabbed another rock, and with as much force as she could, threw it; it sailed through Death's body and smashed into the cave wall behind him.

Jack opened his eyes and took a sharp breath, and saw she was standing next to him, her hands in her coat pockets. She didn't speak, she just stared out over the small river and the gras that was beyond it.

"Did you mean it?" Jack asked, and she nodded. "We say nasty things when we'reupset, sometimes." Jack said, thinking back on previous interactions he'd had with the Guardians.

"I still mean it." Jack looked at her, his eye wide; he couldn't belive what she had said.

"But-"

"I get to watch my little sister grow up, and I get to watch her die. I will take her memories and I will see Death take her, then she will be gone and I will live for the rest of whatever kind of life this is; knowing she is gone. She was my best friend, and she thinks I've left her."

"What did he do? Did he do the ritual wrong?" Jack needed to process what she had said, he needed her to talk about something else.

"Yes, he avoids talking about it, because he knows I'm right. I don't care what his reasoning is for it, he made a promise and he broke it. I know his job is important; doesn't mean I have to like him."

Jack was silent, and the two of them stayed where they were for some time, before something else popped into his mind.

"Do any other spirits know? That you tried, I mean."

Jack saw the smile creep along her lips; and was amazed at how much her skin brightened when she was smiling. She looked down at her arm, and pulled the cuff of one the sleeves down so she could see her skin.

"Dawn knows. I'm not sure how; I don't believe he told her." She pursed her lips and pulled the cuff back down. "God I was so much prettier without these; I looked so much more alive when I was, well alive. So much brighter."

"You're still pretty." Jack said, and realised what he had said, but couldn't say anything else. She had gone.