** This chapter begins with a small time jump; just before Kaitlin turns 3. Bella is 20, and Edward is 25.**
Bella
"Kaitlin Renee Swan! That's enough! Timeout for you, young lady." I point while guiding my screaming toddler as gently as my frazzled nerves will allow toward her time-out bench, all the while taking deep breaths.
Her temper tantrums have only gotten worse the older she gets. I find myself constantly worrying about nature versus nurture and some days I wonder if biology plays a part in her personality when she throws these epic fits. I'm reminded of whose blood flows through her veins when she flashes her bright, blue eyes in my direction, her pout rivaling a spoiled princess.
"But, Mommy..." she says with a shuddered sob, tears still running down her cheeks. "I no want you to go!" She stomps her little foot and crosses her arms, and I can't decide if I want to laugh or cry. So, I do the next best thing.
I drop to my knees in front of her and wrap her in a hug. "I'm sorry, baby girl. I would much rather stay home and play today, but I have to go to school." I kiss the top of her head and breathe in some of her sweetness, and I'm already much calmer. I release her and hold her at arm's length, looking into her eyes. "But that doesn't mean you get to scream at me like that. So, you can sit here in timeout and think about how you behaved."
"Otay, Mommy," she whispers. Her cries have stopped, and she sits with her head down, her arms still crossed. I get to my feet and turn away, leaving her on her bench in the entryway and walk back into the living room to gather my things for class.
As I'm busy making sure I have all my notes in order, my cell phone buzzes with a text notification.
Can I come down?
I sigh, typing out a response.
Only if you promise not to coddle her. She's not having a good day.
What's wrong? Is she okay?
His question makes me roll my eyes but smile. She's got him wrapped around her finger for sure.
She's fine - in time out as we speak.
I'll be there in a few.
I slip my phone back in my pocket and wait for Kaitlin's favorite person to arrive. And I don't have to wait long. Within a minute, he's sauntering down the hallway toward me from the direction of the bedroom.
When he first told me that he wanted a private entrance installed for my place, I agreed, thinking it would be a private elevator. However, when he showed me blueprints for a private stairwell between our apartments I wanted to have his head examined. He only shrugged and said it was for the best, explaining it was for our safety and his sanity.
"So, what was the problem?" he asks quietly, peeking his head over mine in the direction of where Kaitlin is serving her time.
I sigh. "Nothing new. She doesn't want me to go to class today."
He nods in understanding. "Do you think it's the sitter she doesn't like?"
We went around and around when I decided I wanted childcare for Kaitlin. I originally thought the daycare the school recommended would be fine, but Edward talked me out of it, and his reasons were solid. He had her security in mind, but it made it much more difficult to leave her with a stranger instead of a group of peers she could play with all day. And choosing one was an issue all its own.
Edward being Edward had some very specific criteria for a nanny, and he was more concerned with how one looked on paper, not necessarily how she interacted with Kaitlin. So, it took us weeks to find one that fit the bill for both of us. She may be my daughter, but Edward loves that little girl as much as I do and has done what he can to protect her since she was born.
Carmen is great, though. Kaitlin really does love spending time with her, and over the last few months, she's kind of adopted her as an honorary grandmother. That thought causes me to tense up for other reasons entirely.
"What?" Edward asks, noticing my reaction. "Is there a problem with Carmen?"
"No," I say, shaking my head. "Carmen is great. Kaitlin just doesn't want me to leave today. I'm not sure what it is, but she's been very clingy lately."
"Then what's with the tense shoulders?" he asks, reaching out to gently squeeze the top of my arm. His touch sends tingles over my skin, but I shake the feeling away and ignore his question.
"Nothing. I'm just stressed about school." I make my way back toward where my daughter is sitting on her bench looking properly chastised. "Kaitlin?"
Her head pops up, and her dark blonde curls bounce as she does. I know Edward isn't behind me because her eyes are still fixed on me. When he's around, she has tunnel vision, seeing only her 'Deddie.' Once it was out there, the name kind of stuck.
"What do you have to say for yourself?"
"I sowwy I yewled at you, Mommy. I not do it again."
I get down to her level, opening my arms to her and she leans into them. "Thank you, Kaitlin. It hurts Mommy's feelings when you yell at me. I don't want to be away from you, either, but I have to go to school."
She merely nods, her little arms wrapped tightly around my neck.
"So, as soon as Miss Carmen gets here, I have to leave, okay?" I release her and look into her sad eyes. But, before she can acknowledge what I said, I hear a throat clearing behind me. And judging by Kaitlin's wide smile, he's made his presence known.
"Actually, Bella, I don't have anything going on today. I could..."
I drop my head and shake it, a smile on my own face. Big bad Edward Cullen is smitten with a not quite three-year-old, and he would rather spend his day playing dress up and dolls than seeking out adult company. I don't think he's even gone out on a date in the year since we've moved back. He spends almost all his free time with us.
I look into my daughter's happy, hopeful eyes, and I can't say no to her. "Do you want Edward to stay with you today, instead of Miss Carmen?"
She resembles a bobblehead, and she's nodding before the words can find their way out of her mouth. "Yes, pwease, Mommy."
I huff out a dramatic breath. "Will you be good? I won't have you throwing another fit when you don't get your way."
"No, I be good. I pwomise." Her expression is so eager, it only makes me smile. "I get up now?"
"Yes, baby girl. You can get up as soon as I get another hug." She practically leaps into my arms, and I get a quick kiss on my cheek before she hops down from her bench and runs as fast as her little legs can carry her toward the object of her affection.
"Deddie!" she yells as she jumps into his waiting arms. "I missded you. Where you go?"
He squeezes her close. "I had to go to work."
"Faw away work again?"
"Yes, I had to work far away. But I'm back now." He squeezes her tightly before setting her back on her feet, still holding onto her hand. "Now, have you had breakfast?" he asks her.
"No, I not eat yet."
"Well, how about Deddie's special waffles?"
Edward's question makes me laugh as I think back a few years when he once said he made mean toaster waffles. Though, since Kaitlin has come along, those toaster waffles have evolved into something else. Deddie's 'special waffles' are smeared in peanut butter and topped with strawberries, whipped cream and, when I'm not looking, chocolate sauce. And if it weren't for the smile they bring to her face, they'd be reserved only for dessert. But, since he's often away on business, I let him spoil her - because it brings a smile to his face too.
"Well, if you two are okay, I'm going to take off," I say as I trail them into the kitchen.
"Oh, yeah, I've got this," Edward says as he helps Kaitlin onto her step stool.
I turn, intent on gathering my things and leaving to make it to class on time when he calls for me.
He's poking his head around the doorway, looking into the living room. "Hey, has Ma gotten in touch with you?"
It's an innocent question, but I know what he's referring to. "She's called, but only left a voicemail."
"Do you know what she wants?"
"Yeah, she told me in her message. I'm just not sure it's a good idea."
"Why not?" He looks over his shoulder into the kitchen before stepping closer to me.
"Edward! You can't leave her on the stepstool!" I admonish him, taking a step toward the room.
"She's not. I helped her down." He lowers his voice as he stops me from charging in there. "Why don't you think it's a good idea?"
"I haven't been back to the house since I left for Maggie's, Edward. I'm not sure I feel safe there anymore," I say with a shrug.
"Bella, it's almost as safe there as it is here. Da has even taken on extra security around the house. They just want to celebrate their granddaughter's birthday." His voice lowers, almost pleading. "They've missed the last two."
I close my eyes and huff out a breath. "Fine, but I don't want them making a big deal out of it."
"I'm sure they won't. Just be upfront with Ma and tell her what you want. They're just grateful they get to spend time with her."
His statement stings a little, but I can't help how I feel. In the three years since Kaitlin has been born, Carlisle has done little to assure me Jasper isn't a threat to us. Edward knows his brother is still local most of the time. He sees him on occasion at his parents' house, which is why he arranged for us to have what he calls a driver. But Carlisle can't assure me Jasper won't interfere in our lives. That, in and of itself makes me leery of Carlisle's promises where his oldest son is concerned.
"Fine, but only because I know how much it means to Esme. I'll call her on my way to class, okay?"
"Thank you." He leans down and gives me a kiss on my cheek, and it tingles much like his touch to my arm did. I shake it off and grab my bag.
"I'm gonna get going. If I don't hurry, I'm going to be late."
After kisses and hugs from Kaitlin, I make my way downstairs, and I'm greeted by my near constant companion.
"Good morning, Alec," I say with a smile.
"Miss Swan," he says with a nod.
A simple hello and have a nice day is about all I get from Alec, but it's okay. Edward's insistence that I have a babysitter, oh, excuse me, a driver is the only reason I have Alec with me at all. I didn't put up much fight when he reminded me that we don't always have tabs on his brother.
The drive to school isn't too bad, considering we left late, which gives me plenty of time to call Esme. Of course, she's over the moon excited that I'm allowing her to host Kaitlin's party next month, but I'm still uncomfortable with it. Esme has been as much a part of Kaitlin's life as I've allowed, but when she's with her, she dotes on her like any loving grandmother would. No, it's Carlisle I still have a hard time trusting, which is why Esme has her visits with us in our home. Carlisle has only laid eyes on his granddaughter a handful of times. Up until now, I haven't been able to bring myself to go back in that house.
After making tentative plans for the party, I put my phone away as we arrive at the school, and head inside for another day of class.
"Bella! Wait up!" the voice calls out from behind me, and I tighten my coat around me a little more. I'm unsure if it's to ward off the cold of the March afternoon, or if it's to brace myself for the impact that is Jacob Black. I hear his rushed footsteps get closer, and I know he's caught up with me. "Hey," he says, slightly out of breath.
"Hey, Jacob." I'm focused on my path as I walk down Arlington Street toward my favorite place to have my afternoon break.
"Thought I could take you to lunch today. That is if you don't have other plans?" There's hope in his voice, and I see him in my peripheral vision, he's trying to catch my eye.
"Oh, I was just going to the park like I always do." I scan the surrounding area, and I spot Alec not too far away. His presence is a comfort, even if I have no reason to be worried.
"Mind if I join you?"
I meet Jacob's eyes, and I already know what my answer will be. When I started school back in the fall, he was one of the first to greet me, and he's been trying to ask me out since. I've told him many times I can't be more than his friend, my life is just too complicated right now for anything more than that, but he's still persistent. And a public park is much less private than a meal in a restaurant, so I agree. "I guess that would be okay."
"Cool."
We walk side by side until we reach the monument where I usually take my break, and I find an unoccupied bench. I take my seat and dig through my bag for my lunch; a smooshed sandwich I made in a rush before leaving and a bottle of water.
"So, you'd rather eat a smashed sandwich out in the cold than let me treat you to a nice meal?" he asks, sounding almost affronted.
"Oh, it's not too cold, Jake," I tease. "This is Boston. We should be used to it."
"Speak for yourself, native," he says with a smirk. "I wasn't raised here, so I'm still adjusting."
"Oh, yeah, I keep forgetting you're not from around here. Where was it, again?"
"Washington State. A tiny town that's barely a speck on the map."
"What? It didn't get cold up there?"
He shrugs. "Just different, I guess. Cold, but not this kind of cold. And we got more rain than snow."
We're silent as we watch the hustle and bustle of people coming and going through the park. My sandwich is almost gone, and I'm hoping he'll get the hint that lunch is over and he can move along.
"So, why do you like this spot out of all the others?" he asks, pointing to the forty-foot-tall marble and granite Ether Monument. "I mean, what's so special about this guy?"
I stare at the sculpture in question, thinking about what I learned about it when I first started coming here. "Well, first of all, it isn't a monument to 'this guy' specifically, who happens to be the Good Samaritan, by the way. You know, from the bible? He helped ease the suffering of a stranger. It's a monument to what he represents."
"And what is that?"
I turn to look at him. "It's a memorial to the doctors who first used ether in anesthesia."
"And why is that such a big deal?"
"Because there are some things people shouldn't be awake for."
"Oh! Hello, my beautiful girl!" Esme swoops down to grab Kaitlin after I've removed her jacket, giving her hugs and kisses until she squeals. "How does it feel to be three years old?"
"I a big girl, Nana," she says proudly.
"You certainly are a big girl."
I remove my own jacket before following closely behind them. Esme leads me into the kitchen, and I find Rose at the counter, chopping vegetables. When she sees us walk in, she wipes her hands on a towel and walks over to give Kaitlin a hug.
"Hello pretty girl," she says as she wraps her arms around her.
"Hi, Aunt Wosie." Her little arms wrap around Rose's neck then release her to hold on to her Nana.
"And how are you?" she asks as she gives me a hug.
"Good," I say with a nod after she releases me.
"And classes are going well?"
"They are."
"That's good. I know I'm ready to be done."
"This is your last year, right?" I ask her.
"It is, thank God. I don't think I could handle another year. Be thankful you're only going for your Associate's degree." She's turned back to her task, and I scan the kitchen seeing all kinds of treats I never would have had for a three-year-old's party.
I then spot the dining room past Rose's shoulder, and it's filled with pink and purple balloons, and a mountain of gifts are on top of the table.
"Esme," I say with exasperation, turning in her direction. "You didn't have to-"
She puts her hand up. "I did, and I have. It's done now, so let it go. Besides, this is the first time I've been able to share this with her, so let me do the spoiling."
Footsteps from behind cause me to turn around, spotting Carlisle heading for us.
"Bella," he says, a friendly smile on his face.
"Hello, Carlisle."
"And how is our birthday girl?" He steps closer to Kaitlin, and she wiggles impossibly closer to Esme.
"I free," she says, holding up three fingers like I showed her this morning.
"That's right, you're three years old today," I say as I pat her back. She's never really warmed to her grandfather, and I won't push her to, either.
Carlisle turns to me. "So, will Edward be joining us?"
"Deddie?" Kaitlin's head pops up, and a smile lights her face at the mention of Edward.
"Yeah, he said he had some business to finish up with Emmett, but they'd be here as soon as they could."
"Well, then I guess as soon as your Deddie gets here, we can start the party," Esme says excitedly to the little girl in her arms.
"Well, then if you'll excuse me, I'll be in my study. Just call me when you're ready." With that, he turns and walks from the room.
I notice Esme's exasperated sigh before she straightens her spine and looks right at me, a smile now firmly in place. "Well then, let's take advantage of our girl time, yeah?"
As the pale pink, quick-dry nail polish dries on her nails, Kaitlin's head pops up when she hears Edward call out for us.
"Deddie, I in here!" she yells.
Edward comes into the kitchen, Emmett right behind him, and spots us at the island, all our hands splayed on the countertop waiting for our nails to dry. His smile widens when he sees Kaitlin bouncing in her seat.
"Hello, birthday girl." He steps over and kisses the top of her head. "How is my princess?"
"I get my nails painted, Deddie. I a pwincess today!" she says excitedly.
"You certainly are."
"Uh huh," she says with a nod of her head. "That what Nana tolded me."
"Told you, Kaitlin," I correct her.
"Yeah, Nana tolded me."
We all chuckle at her.
"Well, since we're all here, let's get to the fun stuff." Esme whirls around the kitchen, pulling the pizza from the warm oven, and soon, we're all in the dining room, eating pizza, chips, and snacks, laughing and playing games. Even Carlisle cracks a smile every now and then.
When it's time for cake, Kaitlin's eyes light up at the princess cake Esme brings into the room as we all sing to her. It's just the six of us, and I have a wave of guilt that she doesn't have any friends her age to share this day with. It's one drawback to not having her in daycare or any organized playgroups. But, I remind myself that her safety is more important, and we've got plenty of time for playdates and friends.
Her tiny lips move as she whispers her wish to herself and squeezes her little eyes tight before opening them to blow out the candles.
Our clapping drowns out the sounds of the front door opening and closing, but the gasp coming from the doorway gets our attention.
A wide-eyed Alice and a slack-jawed Jasper are standing just inside the dining room. Before my brain registers what's happening, Edward and Emmett have sprung into action and try to usher them out of the room.
Meanwhile, Kaitlin is staring, wide-eyed herself, watching the commotion. Her bright blue eyes are shining in the light of the room, and she's staring into the eyes of her sperm donor for the very first time. It's at this moment that I can see just how much she looks like Jasper and it brings angry tears to my eyes.
"You need to go," Emmett says to his brother.
"What the hell are you two doing here?" Edward asks angrily.
"Thought it would be nice to stop by and say hello to the family, but it seems you're busy today," Alice says, her wide eyes narrowing. Jasper is still in a stupor, and his eyes still haven't left Kaitlin, which is making me nervous. I have no idea how this will all play out, especially when I see the look on Alice's face as her eyes bounce from my daughter to her husband.
"Jasper," she says through gritted teeth. "Tell me why that little girl looks just like you."
Jasper's eyes land on me, and Alice doesn't miss it.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" she yells.
"Okay, birthday girl," Rose says with a flourish. "Let's go up to Uncle Emmett's room and see if we can find any of his old toys." She scoops Kaitlin into her arms and rushes her from the room, just as Alice starts up again.
"Uncle? Uncle? Jasper, you better start talking, because I'm about to cut a bitch!" She takes a step in my direction, and Edward blocks her path, physically restraining her.
"I don't think you want to do that, Alice." His voice is calm but deadly.
"Somebody better tell me why there's a little girl who looks like my husband and why she's calling Emmett her uncle!" She's thrashing in Edward's arms, but she can't get free.
"Because she's-" Jasper starts, but I cut him off.
"Jasper is her biological father," I manage to choke out, not ever wanting to hear him claim her as his own.
"You little slut!" Alice rages, again lunging at me.
"Watch it," Edward warns as he holds her back.
"Enough!" Carlisle's booming voice silences the room. "Alice, I suggest you get yourself under control. And if you can't... Well, then I'll have someone do it for you." His words may get her to stop physically trying to come after me, but her eyes are still lit with fire.
"Alice, there are things you don't understand, but I will not tolerate you speaking to Bella that way. If you can calm down enough, we can have a civil conversation about this."
"Civil? How can we have a civil conversation when I know my husband has a child with someone else?" Edward is still holding her back, but some of the fight seems to have left her.
I'm ready to speak up and defend myself and my choices, but Edward beats me to it.
"Jasper doesn't have a child, Alice. That precious little girl is Bella's and Bella's alone. Your husband drugged and seduced a sixteen-year-old girl, and got her pregnant." His voice lowers, and we can barely hear him as he growls into her ear. "He forced himself on her. He didn't give her a choice. Do you understand that? He has no rights to that little girl. His name isn't even on her birth certificate. She will never know the blood running through her veins belongs to a monster. And I plan to keep it that way as long as possible."
A/N: Big thanks to Fyrebyrd, Gabby1017, Life and Death's Lullabies, and TheMetroDad for pre-reading, and to my beta, SunflowerFran. I fiddled a bit, so please remember, all mistakes are mine.
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