Bella

It's been several weeks since my date with Jacob. As promised, he was relentless in asking for a repeat right up until the last day of the semester. While I never agreed to another date, we did take our breaks between classes together at the park. We kept it friendly, but I know he's hoping our friendship will turn into more.

He was persistent in asking me more about Kaitlin, too, which made me a bit uncomfortable, so I kept my answers as vague as possible. When he asked me about her father, I simply told him I didn't want to talk about it. Thankfully, he let it go.

Jacob did try to convince me to stay in touch over the summer. He thought it would be good to have someone to call when I needed some adult conversation. I didn't bother telling him I had plenty of adult conversation with Edward on an almost daily basis.

And Edward's been acting strange lately. Ever since my date with Jake, he's been moody, and I don't understand why. And the last time he was in my apartment, he smelled of smoke. I know he picked up the habit about a year ago, right around the time he stopped seeing Heidi, but he said it was more casual. And he always made sure to change into fresh clothes before coming to our apartment to see us. Now, the scent lingers, so I know he's doing it more.

His recent visits are less focused on Kaitlin and are now more centered around the three of us. We've made dinner together several times in the last few weeks, and he's made a point to be here for bedtime so together we can read her a story almost every night. He's always been...accessible, but he's almost a constant presence these days. But the way he lingers long after Kaitlin is in bed is new. If he doesn't have business to attend to, he's with us; only going home to sleep it seems.

Today we're at the park, seated next to each other watching Kaitlin play with a few children close to her age. It makes me smile when I see her make friends so easily. I've been so worried about her social development, so it's a weight off my mind.

My cell phone buzzes with a message. I dig it from my bag and see that it's from Jacob.

Hey, B! What R U up to?

"Is that Angela?" Edward asks from beside me.

"No, it's Jake," I answer absentmindedly as I type a response.

At the park with my girl.

I'm not so distracted I miss his huff before he gets to his feet.

"What? Where are you going?" I ask him.

"I need a cigarette." He stomps away from the play area to look for a place to defile his lungs.

I shake my head in disapproval, but I know better than to say anything. I watch Kaitlin play with a little boy, probably closer to four than her three. The smile that lights her face when he leads her by the hand to the sandpit brings one to my own.

My phone buzzes again, and I see Jake's persistence is in full swing.

Wanna catch a movie tonight?

It's not unexpected. In fact, he asks at least a couple times a week. And my answer is always the same.

Sorry. Busy.

Kaitlin's squeal and giggle grab my attention. I see Edward has returned and has her in his arms attacking her with kisses.

It's really hard to reconcile what I know about what he does for his family with what I see when he's with us. He's never shown any aggression toward either of us or ever raised his voice. He's beyond patient with Kaitlin and protective of me; even to the point of keeping me sheltered. It's endearing and infuriating all at once.

"Mommy, I hafta potty!" Kaitlin yells as she runs towards me, Edward trailing behind her laughing.

"The princess must return to her castle," he says as he gets closer.

"Well, then I guess we better hurry."

I quietly latch the door behind me and step away from Kaitlin's room. After her potty emergency, a quick clean up, and a simple lunch, she went down for her afternoon nap without much fuss.

"She fell asleep without a fight?" Edward asks from his perch atop a barstool at the counter.

"She did. I think this morning wore her out." I busy myself with cleaning up after our lunch, washing the few dishes and straightening things. The room is quiet as I work, but I can feel his eyes on me.

When he finally speaks, it's low and curt. "So, what did Jacob want?"

"He asked me out again." I don't even bother turning around. I know he's not happy that Jake keeps asking, but there isn't much I can do about it.

"What did you tell him?"

I suppress an eye roll. "I asked him if he wanted me to wear a skirt this time. You know, so he could have easier access." I turn on my heel, facing him. His eyes are narrowed, and his jaw is tense. "What do you think I told him? I told him what I tell him every time. No."

His expression doesn't change, but his shoulders visibly relax. "Is that what you want?"

I mull over the question carefully. I know Jake wants more from me than I'm willing to give, and I don't want to give Jake any false hope, so I know it's the right choice. "It is," I say with a nod. "He's a good friend, but I don't think I'm ready for more than that with him." I turn back to my work.

Edward clears his throat. "Is it just Jacob? I mean, are you maybe ready for that with someone else?" I can tell the question makes him uncomfortable, but it's one I consider all the time.

When I think about my future, it's hard to picture anything different than the life I'm leading now. I know I have another year of school before I can apply to the academy. If I'm lucky, I'll be accepted, and in a few years, I'll be on my way toward my goal of working in the Organized Crime division of the Boston PD. Every picture I have in my head has Edward in it by my side, helping me raise my daughter and being the father figure she's come to depend on.

I also know it's selfish of me. Someday, Edward will find a woman and want to have his own family with her. And while we'll be financially provided for, we'll be demoted if you will, taking second place to his new wife and children.

The thought makes my stomach clench.

It also brings tears to my eyes. They run down my cheeks, unbidden, as visions of Edward with a nameless, faceless woman by his side who give him a life and a family invade my head. The thought of me being that woman passes through as well, though I dismiss the crazy notion just as quickly.

Somewhere along the way, I allowed my girlish fantasies to take hold, imagining a life with the man who has been by my side for so long. They're thoughts I have when I'm alone at night and allow my imagination to run free. I know it's selfish, trying to keep him to myself. I know what he feels for us is responsibility, but I don't know how to let him go. Just the thought makes a sob break free from me.

"Hey, what's this?" He's off the stool and by my side before I can blink. Always there, always my protector. Which makes me cry harder. He wraps one arm around me and uses the other to smooth my hair as he holds my head to his chest. "What's wrong, Bella?"

"Nothing," I say shaking my head against him. "Just feeling emotional tonight." I pull away from him enough for him to release me. "Sorry," I say, motioning to the mess I've made of his shirt.

"Don't worry about that." He waves his hand, dismissing my concern. "But I'm worried about you, you know."

"There's nothing to worry about, Edward," I say with a forced smile. "Like I said, I'm just emotional right now. Must be my hormones," I say jokingly.

"Oh. Is it..." He lowers his voice. "That time of the month?"

I outright laugh at the absurdity of his question. After everything he's been through with us in the last few years, including watching me give birth, anytime my period is mentioned, it still freaks him out.

"Could be, Edward. Could be."

"And he didn't say what he wanted to see me about, specifically?" Edward is driving me to see Carlisle at the Cullen's home. He called just this morning and requested a meeting, and Edward refused to allow me to go alone. He's told me he has his suspicions about how Jasper and Alice were so easily able to get inside the Cullen's home the day of Kaitlin's birthday party, and he would feel better if he came along.

I wasn't going to argue.

"No," he says, shaking his head. "He just said it was something he needed to see you about in person."

I wring my hands together. "That doesn't make me feel any better."

Edward reaches over the console and slides his large, warm hand between mine, lacing my fingers with his. "Everything will be fine." He looks over to me. "You'll see."

We pull through the gates and up the drive of the stately home, and Edward parks the car before coming around to open my door. I follow him up the steps and through the front door, and I scan the foyer and beyond looking for Esme. She's my one true ally under this roof, besides Edward, and not seeing her is a little more than disappointing.

"I think she's out at a meeting today for one of her fundraisers," Edward says quietly.

"What?" I ask as I turn to watch him close the front door.

"You're looking for Ma, right?"

"Yeah."

"She's out today, I think."

"Oh, okay."

"Hey," he says, reaching for my hand. "I'm here. I won't let anything happen."

"I know. I just ... Your father makes me nervous. And after what happened last time..."

"It'll be fine."

I take a breath and nod, trusting in Edward. He leads me by the hand down the hallway toward his father's study, and with each step, I feel my anxiety rise. We approach the heavy, wooden door that I've only been through twice before, both of which times were under unpleasant circumstances.

At Edward's knock, we're told to come in, and I follow closely behind him.

Carlisle is seated behind his desk, a guarded expression on his face.

"Isabella, Edward," he says in greeting. "Thank you for coming." He motions to the two chairs in front of his desk, and I take one as Edward decides to stand.

"Of course, Carlisle. Though, I must say, I'm more than a little curious about why you wanted to see me."

"Well, we have much to discuss, and due to the sensitive nature of our business, I thought this would be best. I also thought it would be more convenient for you than meeting at my office downtown." His neutral expression doesn't give much away. I'm not sure how much of his statement of making things convenient for me is true, but I thank him anyway.

"You're welcome. Now," he says with a clap of his hands. "There are a few things I wanted to discuss with you."

I nod in agreement.

"I understand that you'll be starting your second year at Fisher in just a few months?"

"Yes, sir. Classes start back the first week of September."

"And you're on track to have your Associates in Criminal Justice?"

"Yes. That's been my plan all along."

"And you plan to apply to the academy after graduation?"

"Well, it's not quite that simple. After graduation, I'll need to pass the civil service exam before I can apply to the police department. Even then, I'd need to wait for an open hiring period. So, it may take me several months to even reach the police academy training after I graduate."

I glance over to where Edward has taken up his position at the window, looking out over the property. He doesn't say anything, but I know this is a sore subject with him.

Turning back to Carlisle, I see he's quiet, his fingers steepled under his chin as he contemplates my answers. "And Edward tells me that your choice of employment is in part due to wanting to know more about the deaths of your parents?"

"It is." I nod. "But not entirely. I know that my father used his position to help your family, and I think I could be useful in much the same way he was."

"You think that will be easy? A new recruit coming in and you think they'll spill their secrets to you? How much good can you possibly do, Isabella?" His words aren't meant to be harsh, but they feel that way. I know he's just trying to get me to face the obvious hurdles I'll undoubtedly have.

"I'm hoping that my father's good name and memory will help me achieve more than I would on my own, and much faster."

"So, you plan to ride on his coat tails?"

"No," I say with a shake of my head. "Not at all. I plan to use my name as an advantage and earn their trust on my own merits."

"And how do you expect to accomplish that?"

"By giving them information on the Cullen family." I sit straight and wait for the coming backlash.

Carlisle sits straight, his jaw tenses, and as I feel Edward's eyes on me, I know I better start talking.

"If I share information with them, even small bits, they'll allow me closer to the information we both want. I can feed them enough to keep them happy and still keep the family safe."

"That's a tall order, Isabella. You realize you're proposing to play both sides, don't you?"

"Not really. I plan to work closely with your family to create enough static on their airwaves that it distracts them from any real business you're conducting."

"And you're willing to put yourself in danger for the Cullen family, even after all the heartache we've caused you?"

I swallow down the lump in my throat at the thought of the things he's referring to, namely Jasper. But besides my initial reasons for joining the force to find out what I can about my parents, I've come to another realization in just the last few days, and he's standing sentry in the room.

"I have many reasons, not the least of which is finding more information on what really happened to my parents, but ..." I pause, deciding how to articulate my feelings. "I've become quite close to Edward in the last few years. He's done so much for us, and he's put his entire life on hold to be there for Kaitlin and me. I have the opportunity to be there for him; to do what I can to protect him."

I don't look, but I know Edward has turned on his heel, and I just know he's boring a hole straight through me with his stare.

"So, you have a sense of duty to Edward?"

"Not duty, sir." I pause once again to collect my thoughts. "I...care a great deal for him. It would be an honor to protect him for once."

The drive back to our building is silent but for the sounds of passing traffic. He doesn't even turn on the radio, which is very unlike him. When we finally walk through the door to my apartment, he makes a beeline for the balcony. I watch him fumble with his pockets until he locates his cigarettes and lighter.

Shaking my head, I turn to seek out my daughter. The apartment is quiet, and as I reach her room, Carmen is in the hallway gently closing Kaitlin's door.

"Is she down for her nap?" I whisper.

"She is." She walks past me, and I follow behind as we make our way back out to the living room. "She should sleep for at least an hour. We played pretty hard at the park. She had me helping her up the slides and over the bridges. So, I think I just might go home and nap myself," she says with a laugh.

"I appreciate you coming over even though it wasn't a scheduled day for you."

"Don't worry about it. I love that little girl," she says with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Whenever you need me, I'll be here."

"Thank you, Carmen."

After she's gone, I take a minute to gather up a few stray toys, but the sight of Edward still on the balcony gets my attention.

He's standing at the edge, his hands gripping the railing so hard I can see the straining muscles in his forearms. He looks pensive, lost in thought, and my feet are carrying me to him before my mind can protest.

The sound of the sliding glass door doesn't cause him to turn as I step out into the warm, early June sun.

"Everything okay?" I ask quietly.

He says nothing.

"Edward?"

"Did you mean what you said in Da's office?" His voice is gruff, but not forceful.

I think back to everything we discussed, and I don't remember saying anything that wasn't true or meant to mislead them, so I answer honestly.

"I meant everything I said, Edward, but what specifically are you asking me?"

"You really don't feel a sense of duty to me?"

"No, I don't. Like I said to your father, I have an opportunity to protect you for once, and I'm not going to pass up that chance."

He finally turns to me, and I'm caught off guard by the intensity in his eyes.

"What if I don't want you to protect me, Bella? What if..."

"What? What if what?"

"Did you mean it when you said you cared about me?"

I turn my head quickly and step to the railing, avoiding his eyes. I know if he looks too closely, he'll see the life I've imagined for us in my head.

"Of course I care about you, Edward. You've gone above and beyond what you could do for us. I'll always be grateful for-"

"Bella." He's much closer now. His fingers ghost over my nearly bare shoulder, covered by only the strap of my sundress. "That's not what I meant."

The sound of the city bustling below us is a dull hum, overpowered by the thrumming of my heart pounding in my ears. I'm afraid to speak and risk the moment being lost, but I know he's waiting for my answer.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, I care about you." I turn to look into his eyes. "You mean a lot to me."

"And you mean a lot to me, Bella. Which is why I want you to think really hard about your plans to become a cop. It would..." He steps closer to stand next to me at the railing and takes a deep breath, blowing it out as he grips at his hair.

"This city can be a dangerous place when you know the kind of people I do; the people I do business with. They'll shake your hand then slit your throat when you turn your back on them. Your plan to go after the Voltolinis scares the shit outta me, Bella," he says, finally turning to me. "If something happens to you, especially if it's because you were trying to protect me, I'd..." His voice lowers to a whisper. "It would kill me. Bella, you mean so, so much to me."

"You mean a lot to me, too, Edward. You're my best friend," I say sheepishly. "Which is why I need to do this. If anything happened to you and it was something I could have prevented, I couldn't live with myself."

"No, Bella. I don't think you understand what I'm trying to say." He groans in frustration, his hair once again taking the abuse.

"Then what are you trying to say?" I ask, placing my hand on his back as he's turned away from me.

He spins around and grasps the hand that was on his back, bringing it to his chest. The intensity in his eyes is blazing. They search mine, and it feels as if he can see inside my soul the way he's looking at me. I know the moment he finds what he's looking for because that blazing intensity softens.

"Bella, I'm trying to tell you that it would kill me if something happened to you because you mean everything to me. I've watched you grow into an amazing woman right before my eyes, and I'm tired of trying to deny what I think I've known for a long time."

"What?" I whisper.

"It took a long time for me to even admit it to myself, but I can't stay away from you any longer. It would kill me if anything happened to you because... Because, Bella, I'm in love with you."

A/N: Big thanks to Fyrebyrd, Gabby1017, Life and Death's Lullabies, and TheMetroDad for pre-reading, and to my beta, SunflowerFran. I fiddled a bit, so please remember, all mistakes are mine.

You guys have blown me away with your response to this story. So much so, that its getting increasingly more difficult to respond to all of your reviews. I'll do my best to reply to all of them, but if I don't get to yours, please know I read each and every one of them, and they all mean so much!

My story, A Rainbow After the Storm, has also been nominated for the top ten completed fics for the month of October on TwiFanfictionRecs dot com. I'd really appreciate your vote! Only two more days to vote!

Don't forget to checkout Twilight Fanfiction Pays It Forward's new blog! Each month it will feature fics in four categories... Number one will be our Rookie ... A new, first-time writer showcasing their first fic on our blog. Number two will be our Encore ... A new fic from a seasoned author giving us a sneak peek. Number three will be our Classic ... one from the vault, a time-tested oldie. And four, is an Overlooked fic that needs some love. So, stop by and check out the blog if you can; Pifficsofthemonth. blogspot. com. And don't forget, if you're an author with a new story coming up, or if you're a Rookie and need help, contact Frannie Walsh on FB, or on the PIF FB page. Also, anyone interested in writing a summary on one of their favs, please feel free to send it in for our Classic section.

For exclusive weekly pics and teasers, come check out my Facebook group, Sunshine Fics. Thank you all so much for all the love you've shown this story. I adore each and every reader and review!