Big thanks to Fyrebyrd, Gabby1017, Life and Death's Lullabies, and the TheMetroDad for pre-reading, and to my beta, SunflowerFran. I fiddled a bit, so please remember, all mistakes are mine.

Edward

"What?" she asks with disbelief. "You don't mean that, Edward. You're-"

"I do mean it. I'm in love with you."

"You can't be," she says, trying to pull herself from my grasp.

"And why the hell not?" I can't keep the hurt out of my voice.

"You can't be in love with me, Edward. And you really shouldn't tease me." She finally pulls away and once again steps toward the railing. "I'm not strong enough for that," she whispers. It's faint, but I hear it.

"You think I'm teasing?"

"What else could it be?"

I step to her side, and it takes all my self-control not to wrap her in my arms to reassure her this isn't a joke. I think of a way to get her to understand, and I decide to go back to the beginning.

"You know, the first time I saw you, you were dressed in a light blue dress with pigtails, missing your front teeth, and had skinned knees. You had a pair of sneakers too. You couldn't have been more than six or maybe seven. I don't think I was thirteen yet, but I had to be close. I remember being so mad at Ma about her forcing Emmett and me to play with you." I chuckle at the memory.

"It didn't take long for me to realize just how cool you really were, though. You weren't afraid to get dirty or climb a tree, or any other fucked up crazy idea Emmett and I had when you'd come with Charlie. I started looking forward to your visits, too." From the corner of my eye, I see her looking over at me, trying to figure out where I'm going with this.

"As the years went by, your dad's visits got fewer and further between, so I saw you less and less. Then I went away to school and got caught up in just... life. Then, when I got the call to come home for Charlie's funeral, you were my first thought. I remembered that playful, full of life little girl I knew, but when I saw you after your dad died, you were a different person. Then when my brother..."

I clear my throat and stare off into the distance, remembering the pain and anger I felt... still feel to this day. "When he tried to break what was left of you, I made it my personal responsibility to make sure you could get back to the happy girl you were before your world collapsed around you."

I turn to look at her, and my heart thumps almost painfully in my chest. "What I didn't expect was that as I watched you heal and pick up the pieces of your life, you'd grow into such an amazingly, strong woman." I reach out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "I fought these feelings for so long, Bella. I thought it was misplaced affection I had for a good friend. A friend who went through some awful shit but happened to be an amazing mother to a priceless little girl. But I couldn't fight it for long. I couldn't see a future with anyone but you, but I was too chicken shit to do anything about it." I laugh to myself. "Yeah, big bad Edward Cullen can blow someone's fuckin' head off, but he's a coward who couldn't admit he was in love with his best friend." Her startled eyes flash to mine.

"Yeah, Bella, I was a coward."

"Don't say that. You're not-"

"Oh, but I was. I held on to Heidi for so long because it was easy, and I was lazy. I wasn't man enough to cut her loose, Bella. You told me a long time ago if I didn't see a future with her, I should let her go, not string her along. Well, I did, and I felt like shit for a long time. I knew any man worth your time would have manned up and cut things off a long fucking time ago, and that right there told me I wasn't the kind of man you needed. I knew I wasn't good enough for you."

I shift my weight and lean against the railing and reach out to trace over her knuckles with my fingertips. "I knew I needed to be a better man for you, and for Kaitlin, too. So when I brought you home from Cork, I made it my mission to be whatever it was you needed. And when you first came back, you were still finding your way, still healing. I was biding my time, waiting, hoping that you'd show me you felt the same. But when you decided to go out with Jacob, I got nervous. I knew if I didn't do something soon, I'd lose you to someone else, even if it wasn't him. So, in answer to your insistence that I couldn't love you, you're completely wrong. I think I've loved you for a long time, and I just wasn't man enough to admit it. But now, I don't see a future where you're not in it."

Her expression is hard to read, but nearly every emotion plays over her face. When I reach up to cup her cheek, she leans into it and closes her eyes.

"I used to lay awake at night thinking about my future," she says not much louder than a whisper. "And I couldn't ever see one without you in it in some way. I'd see you there for all the big moments; birthdays, holidays, Kaitlin's first day of school, her graduation. But when I started thinking about the special days that would come years down the line, you were there, but I started seeing you with someone else by your side. And it made my heart ache for something I thought I could never have."

Her warm, chocolate eyes flutter open. "So to hear you say you want that too, that you love me and want a future with me..." Her eyes search mine. "I never thought I'd get the chance to tell you how much I love you, too."

I take a step toward her, our bodies only a breath apart. "I really want to kiss you right now."

"I really want you to kiss me, too," she says with a shy smile.

With a smile of my own, I lean down, my hand cradling her cheek gently gliding along her jaw, lifting her lips to mine.

"I love you," I whisper against her lips just before they make contact.

It's gentle and tentative, but the spark that runs the length of my body is indescribable. The way her body responds to mine tells me she feels it too as she melts against me and allows me to deepen the kiss.

My lips mold against hers, and my tongue gently trails her lower lip, begging for entrance. Her mouth slowly parts and her tongue cautiously slides against mine as I wrap my free arm around her, pulling her closer. Her hands snake up and around my neck, and I can feel my body reacting, so I know it's time to rein it in.

The intensity of our kiss lessens, and I'm able to pull back, leaving lingering, languid pecks to her lips and then finally pulling away and placing one on her forehead. She wraps her arms around my waist, placing the side of her head against my chest, and I know she can hear the thundering of my heart.

"So, now what?" she asks.

"Now," I say, pulling her impossibly closer and kissing her neck, causing her breath to hitch. "Now, nothing changes. Except, now I get to kiss you," I say as I lean down to peck her gently on the lips. "And I get to hold you, and call you all kinds of obnoxious nicknames." She smiles and shakes her head at my ridiculously happy expression. "Now we work on becoming a real family, but we take things at your pace."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning you're calling the shots here, Bella. I want more than anything to be a family, be your partner, be Kaitlin's father in all the ways that count, but I know she's yours, and you make that final call."

She shakes her head against my chest. "No," she says and my heart drops. She looks up and must see the heartbroken look on my face because she places her hand against my cheek to seemingly wipe it away. "Edward, you've been her father in all the ways that count since the beginning. She loves you, just like I do, so I don't think anything will change."

And as if she knew we were talking about her, my little Princess makes her presence known by banging on the glass sliding door, looking fucking adorable. She's all sleep-rumpled, with her blanket clutched tightly in her hand and a stuffed bear under her arm.

"Mommy! I up!" she yells, like we can't hear her through the glass.

"Looks like our little girl needs us," I say quietly.

"She does." Her smile is fucking breathtaking.

With one more quick kiss to her lips, I release her so she can tend to our girl.

Bella carefully slides the door open, allowing me to follow in behind her. I turn to close and secure the child safety locks as Bella reaches down to gather Kaitlin in her arms. "Did you have a good rest, baby girl?" Bella asks her.

"Uh huh," Kaitlin says with an exaggerated nod. "Mommy, why Deddie here?"

Bella smiles at me over her daughter's head. "Well, Deddie took me to an appointment, and now we're... home." She smiles another shy smile when she says home, which brings one to my own.

"He pway wif me?"

"Of course, Princess." I reach to take her from her mother, and she snuggles into my arms. Bella's words ring in my mind.

We're home.

We spend the rest of the afternoon and evening like we usually do, as a family. We play until it's time to make dinner, which we make together. Bella tries to get me to help her make Maggie's shepherd's pie, but Kaitlin is more successful mashing the potatoes than I am, so I just stand guard and make sure she doesn't take a tumble off her step stool. The only difference with tonight's meal preparation is the casual touches and occasional kisses I steal along the way.

Kaitlin doesn't even seem phased by our display, which is a worry off my mind. If it freaked her out at all, I don't know what I would have done. I need both of my girls to be happy.

That night, as we're all piled on Kaitlin's twin sized bed to read her bedtime story, everything feels right. Bella is at my side, my arm wrapped around her, and my Princess is nestled into the tiny space between us, my other arm wrapped around her tiny middle.

"And how happy I am, now that I have become a real boy! The end," Bella announces as she closes the book we've been reading the last few nights.

Between us, Kaitlin is quiet, contemplative as she nibbles on her lower lip, much like her mother does.

"What is it, baby girl?" Bella asks as she brushes the darkening blonde hair from Kaitlin's face.

"Appetto not Nocchio's weal daddy?" she finally asks.

"Well, Geppetto made Pinocchio, so I guess you could say he picked Pinocchio to be his son," Bella quietly explains.

Kaitlin's eyes flash to mine before she looks back at her mother.

"And Nocchio picked Appetto to be hims daddy too?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"So, I pick my daddy too?"

Bella and I look at each other, and I swear I can see everything in that look. If my heart had wings, I think it would've beat out of my fucking chest and straight out the window at this point. Everything we both want is within our grasp, and it's so fucking seamless and perfect, it's like the damn stars aligned today.

Bella looks down at her daughter, our girl. "You want to pick your daddy?" she asks her, her voice wavering.

"Uh huh. I want Deddie be my daddy." Her eyes shoot to mine, and I'm completely under her spell. "You be my daddy? I be your son, like Nocchio?"

Her mix up makes me chuckle, and it's the only thing keeping me from crying like a fucking baby.

"Is that what you want, Kaitlin?"

She's turned and crawled closer to me now, her little arms wrapping around my neck. "Uh huh," she answers. "I wuv you. So, you be my daddy now," she says with a shrug, likeit's the simplest fucking thing in the world.

I glance over at Bella, and there are a few stray tears rolling down her cheeks, a wide smile on her face. I blindly reach for her hand and twine our fingers together, holding on for dear life. This is the moment it all becomes real.

"Yeah, Kaitlin. I'll be your daddy."

"Who would've thought it would be that easy?" Bella says softly.

We're sitting curled together on the sofa as soft music floats through the air. Her legs are resting over mine, and my arms are wrapped around her.

I breathe out a laugh. "Not me. In my head, I was coming up with all the ways we could sit her down and talk to her. But, it's like she knew. I don't know how she did, but..." I lift her chin to look into her eyes. "So, I guess now this makes us a real family?"

"Guess it does."

I can't stop myself from giving in to the pull I feel with her. I don't even try. My lips find hers, and we're soon lost to each other. When she opens her mouth to mine and searches out my tongue with hers, I have to hold myself back. The urge to flip her onto her back and make her mine is strong. But I'm not sure she's ready for that.

Her hand sneaks its way up my chest and around my neck, until her fingers find their way into my hair, gently pulling on the strands. She's driving me crazy, and I don't think she has a clue. Though, the moan that leaves my throat might give her some idea.

She pulls away, breathless. "I'm sorry. Did that hurt?"

I shake my head. "No, álainn. That's the furthest fucking thing from painful. In fact, I think it might be best if I head home for the night." I start to pull away, but she reaches out to grip my shirt.

"I was hoping you'd...stay," she says, sounding unsure.

"Bella I don't know-"

"I do. Please?" The hopeful look in her eyes tells me it may not be uncertainty, but nervousness.

I weigh all the possible reasons this could be a bad idea. I don't know if she's ready for things to get physical. I don't know if she even wants things to get physical. Do I? Of course, I want them to. It's been over a year since my dick has seen anything other than my own hand. But I'm not sure if she's ready, and it would kill me if she were doing something she thought I wanted before she was really was.

"Edward," she says softly. "You're overthinking things."

"But I want to make sure you're ready."

"Tell me, why did you wait so long to tell me how you felt?"

I sit back heavily against the sofa, Bella still in my arms. "Because you were young and you'd had so many bad things happen to you. I also wanted to wait until I thought you felt the same way."

"So, you wanted to make sure I was mature enough for a relationship?"

"Bella, between the two of us, you've been the more mature one for a long time," I say in all seriousness.

"So you trust my judgment?"

I look down at her, and I see what she's trying to say. Her eyes tell me she's being honest and open with me. "Of course I do, Bella. I just don't want you to regret anything."

"How could I possibly regret giving myself to the man I love? The man who has my heart."

My finger traces her lips, her cheek, and down her throat. Her pulse races against my fingertip, and I know she's nervous, whether she admits it or not.

"You'll tell me to stop if anything feels wrong?"

"I will," she promises. "Will you trust me to tell you?"

"I trust you with my life, álainn."

This time our kiss is different. It's a promise for me to be careful and patient, and for both of us to trust. My hand moves beyond her graceful neck and collarbone and traces the top edge of her bra through her shirt.

Her breathing picks up, and her hand finds its way back to my hair. When my thumb brushes over her hardening nipple, the groan coming from her matches the one I made earlier. She's also fidgeting in my lap, her thighs rubbing together.

"You wanna move this to the bedroom?" I mumble against her lips.

"Uh huh," she says, sounding just like her daughter.

I slip my arm under her legs and the other under her arms and lift us from the sofa. Careful not to bump into any walls while our lips stay locked together, I guide us back to her room and gently close the door behind us with my foot.

I step closer to the bed and gently place her on the duvet. Taking a small step back, I take a moment to admire the beauty that this woman is. Her rich, mahogany hair is splayed out over the ivory bedding, and her chest is heaving as she attempts to catch her breath.

"You're beautiful, Bella."

"So are you." She lifts her hand, reaching for me, so I comply. I crawl up onto the bed, hovering over her and kiss her until we both run out of air.

My lips work their way down her neck, and I stop to press them against her thundering pulse point. She's trembling in my arms, so I slow down my advances.

"Bella, you're shaking. Are you sure you want this?"

She brings her hands to my jaw, lifting my face to look at her. "I've never been more sure about anything. I'm just nervous." Her eyes are pleading. "I know what I want, and I want you."

I search her eyes for any doubt, but I find none. The only thing I see is what I feel at this moment myself. "I love you."

"I love you too, Edward."

Our clothes are slowly shed, and as each inch of her skin is revealed, I stop to worship it with my touch, my kiss. She's shy but determined when she's finally bare before me, and she takes my breath away.

I've long since lost my shirt into the dark recesses of the room, so the only thing I have left to remove is my pants. But when she reaches for my belt buckle, I gently grab her hand and bring it to my lips.

"No, álainn, not yet." Placing her hand on the pillow beneath her head, I lower myself to her trembling body. I trail kisses from her forehead to the tip of her nose, making her laugh. Her smile is contagious, too, and I can't stop smiling as I once again devour her lips.

My kisses blaze a path down her neck and to her breasts, stopping to give them equal attention. The sounds she makes only spur me on.

"That feel good?" I mumble against the stiff peak.

"God, yes," she says with a groan.

My fingers touch and gently pull the one not between my lips and I'm pretty damn sure I could make her come like this judging by the way she's writhing beneath me. I let those fingers drift down her side until I reach her hip, pausing to give her time to object.

When she doesn't, I kiss my way back to her lips as my hand finds its way to her center. When it makes contact, I find her slick and warm. I trace her lower lips with my fingers before circling her clit.

"Ohhh," she breathes out.

"You ever touch yourself like this, Bella? Think naughty thoughts when you're all alone?" I whisper into her ear.

"Uh huh." Her incoherency only makes me more determined to make this good for her. I know she has no memory of what happened the night Kaitlin was conceived, so this is all new to her. I try to shake my head of those thoughts and focus on the woman beneath me.

With my thumb rubbing circles around her sensitive flesh, my middle finger trails lower, tracing her entrance. When I finally move to slip it inside, she tenses, but only for a moment.

"You okay?" I ask as I kiss her neck.

"Yeah, I'm good; so good."

Our lips once again fuse together, and our tongues dance as I add another finger. The movement of my hand, combined with the motion of her hips, means it doesn't take long for her walls to begin tightening around my fingers.

"Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God," she murmurs. Her eyes screw shut, and her hands grip my shoulders as her mouth opens, letting out the sexiest moan I've ever heard. I let her ride it out, and when she slowly releases me from her grasp, I move my hand and hold her close. Once her breathing has returned to normal, her eyes open and what I see renders me almost speechless.

The look of love shining through makes me realize I've never had this. Any other relationships I've had have been physically satisfying, but I've never had this kind of connection with another human being.

"Wow. That was..."

"Good?" I ask her.

"So good," she whispers. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you, too, álainn."

Her hands move between us, heading once again for my belt, and this time I don't stop her. She uses her hands to push my pants as low as her arms will reach before using her feet to shove them the rest of the way. My hands roam her curves as hers reach for my cock.

"Goddamn," I mutter as her delicate hands wrap around me. She carefully moves them up and down, gently, tentatively exploring with her fingers while I try not to come at the contact. I may be an experienced, twenty-five-year-old man, but it's been far too fucking long.

"Baby, as good as that feels, it's gonna be over before it gets started if you're not careful."

"Oh," she says with surprise, releasing me instantly. "Was I doing something wrong?"

"No, no," I say cupping her cheek. There's uncertainty in her eyes again, and I don't like it. "No, Bella, it felt too good. I want to be inside you when I come," I whisper against her lips. "But only if you're ready."

"I am. Make me yours."

Careful not to move too fast, I ease myself between her legs, settling into her warmth. My hard, glides against her soft, and it occurs to me there's nothing between us. I know she had an IUD put in place after Kaitlin was born, so I know pregnancy isn't a risk, but I don't know if she trusts me and my past.

"I was tested not too long ago," I say in a rush. "And I haven't been with anyone in a long time, but if you want me to use something-"

She minutely shakes her head as she places a finger against my lips. "I trust you. I don't want anything between us." She gazes up at me, and every thought leaves my mind, save one.

"I love you." It's the only thing I can think to say as I grasp my cock and guide it to her.

"I love you too." Her quick intake of breath as I'm enveloped by her wet warmth, slows me down, but I almost lose it as soon as I'm completely inside her. I still myself, willing my body to cooperate. She's tense beneath me, but only for a moment, until she lets instinct take over and begins to move.

I've never had sex without a condom, so the sensation of being this close to her is almost maddening. I can feel every goddamn thing. I concentrate on her responses simply to distract myself from the euphoria I feel being this connected to another person; the woman I love.

We move slowly, our hands intertwined, her legs wrapped around me, as we connect on a level, I never thought possible. All the hurt of the last few years, the self-imposed denial of what my soul knew it wanted, it all fades away right here, right now.

And when she comes around me, my name leaving her lips in a breathless whisper, I can't stop the rush of emotion as I pulse inside her. Fucking tears actually come to my eyes, so I bury my face in her neck, tamping that shit down.

When I finally collect myself, and both of us seem to have recovered from what we just shared, I raise my eyes to hers. Hers are swimming with tears, but there's a bright smile on her face.

"Hey, what's this?" I wipe an errant drop from her cheek. "Are you okay?" I ask softly.

"I'm good. Perfect actually. Thank you," she says, running her hand through my hair.

"For what?" I can't stop touching her. My fingers trace the apple of her cheek.

"For making my real first time so wonderful. I love you so much, Edward."

I think back to the words I would hear from my grandparents so many years ago, and they're the words I associate with true love, the only way I can express how deeply I feel for the woman in my arms.

"Is tú mo ghrá, Bella, mo chroí, mo shíorghrá."

álainn- beautiful

Is tú mo ghrá- I love you

mo chroí - my heart

mo shíorghrá - my eternal love

A/N: The last chapter reached 100 reviews, (most of which included the word FINALLY! LOL!) well over 100 for the week for all chapters, and passed 1000 reviews for the story! I can't thank you enough for your fabulous support. I think I was able to respond to all of you, but if I missed you, I apologize. I was having momentary lapses last week fighting the start if a head cold and managed to reply numerous times to the same review from at least one of you. And a note to MC40Nugz, your PMs are disabled so I couldn't reply.

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