38

Sakura Nagashi

Izuku and Todoroki parted ways at the front of school. It was still uncomfortable and was probably going to be like that for longer but Todoroki was acknowledging that Izuku was trying and that gave him enough of a reason to try as well.

"Midoriya if you're really being honest about not getting in your own way anymore, then you need to tell Yaoyorozu as soon as possible." Todoroki gave him some parting advice.

"Y-Yeah, I will, th-thanks Todoroki, f-for staying I mean."

"We're friends Midoriya..."

His lips quivered before he smiled at him. "We are, aren't we." He finished with a break in his voice, and he wiped his eyes with his arm before anything came out.

Todoroki had an uncomfortable pang in his heart and adverted his eyes from the honest emotion in Midoriya. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow." He began to head off but his eyes caught a spiral ponytail. "Looks like your chance is coming up." He began to walk away not able to look at Yaoyorozu.

"Ah, bye, Todoroki!"

He simply lifted his hand back up at him with a wave as he left.

"Oh, it looks like you were able to work things out." Yaoyorozu stepped next to Izuku with a small smile on her lips happy for him.

"Kinda, things are still going to be rough and I have to build my trust with him again, but at least it's something. Oh, how did it go with Iida?"

"For better or worse, our relationship has been terminated and I stepped down as a class rep."

"I'm sorry, Momo."

"Don't be." She had that smile, staring at Izuku. "What we have is more important than some school responsibilities."

And for the first time seeing her honest smile killed him inside. "Y-Yeah, c-come on, let me walk you home?" He pushed down the dryness in his throat and reached out his hand.

Momo's lips parted staring at his bandaged arm. Her eyes glistened with a want she had craved for so long. She gulped with a strained, "Of course." Clasping his hand with hers, and interlocking their fingers.

And he walked her home after school like she had always fantasized in her daydreams.

They had reached her house as the sun was beginning to set leaving a purple hue swirling with the clouds as the orange rays of light illuminated the sky.

Izuku was quiet as they entered her home. She began to notice his lack of cheer. She tilted her head to him as they stepped into her room. "Is something wrong, sweetie? Are you still thinking about Todoroki? Don't worry, I'm sure you will be in his good grace before long."

His zoned out eyes came back to focus. "Eh, oh no, I mean I'm just thinking about something he said."

"Oh dear, want to talk about it while we watch the sunset." Momo began to walk up that spiral staircase, stepping into the platform area where they studied and started everything.

Izuku's eyes followed her movements. He rubbed his always tired eyes, before letting out a gentle chuckle, nodding, choosing to enjoy the moment for now. "No, Momo, let's just watch the sunset." He walked up the steps, accompanying her and sitting next to her on the study table, sharing a view from the glass window.

"Can I ask you something, Izuku?"

"What's on your mind?"

"Do you see me, more as Yaoyorozu or Momo?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, before... During school I was always Yaoyorozu a-and you were Midoriya then whenever you came over you were Izuku and I w-was Momo. D-Does that sound foolish?"

Izuku thought for a moment. "No, Momo it doesn't. I actually get it." He chuckled. "I kinda thought it would've been a hard topic to talk about, but now."

She giggled covering her lips with her hand. "It is rather silly how difficult it was for us to even attempt a conversation like this."

"Yeah," Izuku's lips lowered a bit thinking about Todoroki's advice. He clenched his fist shut. 'Not yet.' Still wanting to talk about Momo's question. "So what do you think of me now? Am I Midoriya or Izuku?"

She pondered a bit with her finger on her chin. "It's quite simple but at the same time, it's not. You're Izuku Midoriya but sometimes I see flashes of Deku... from before."

"...Oh."

"Hm, is it something, dear?"

He cleared his throat and blinked away the mist in his eyes before she could notice. "N-No it's nothing. Ehehe, but I guess it's a little different for me.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, but also the same in a way. It's like before, when we were alone I would think of you as Momo and then when we were with everyone else it was Yaoyorozu, but to me, it looked like Yaoyorozu was a shield to protect Momo... But then I began to thought, who would protect Yaoyorozu and it made me only want to get closer to you, because that's who you are, Momo Yaoyorozu."

Momo began to giggle but her eyes had a tender twinkle. "It seems like you put as much thought into it as I did. Thank you."

Izuku rubbed the back of his neck. "Y-Yeah, hey, um, listen Momo something happened at the hospital."

Her fingernail scratched the surface of her lap as she clenched her fist. "Was it about Kodai?"

"Hm, what no, Yui was just worried about me."

"Yes I am aware but Izuku, ever since our talk, how should I say, she's the only one that still makes me insecure."

He didn't want to talk about this but figured Momo deserved some explanation. "I... Yeah, that's fair. Um, Momo, Yui is difficult to explain, I sometimes don't even understand it. We just gravitate to each other with no reason why. B-But I've been trying to make it clear to her that it's over."

Her eyes were shadowed. "Trying to make it clear? Are you telling me your relationship has been still going on with her while we've..."

"N-No, Momo of course not, nothing's happened between us ever since me and you started this... Momo I swear I would never do that to you."

"Izuku... Am I her replacement?" Asking a question that has been brewing in her since she found out about their secret affair.

His eyes widened, caught off guard, letting out a throaty gasp. He glanced down and to the side feeling the weight of that question. 'It's not like with her and Todoroki, I actually had something with Yui...' He bit his bottom lip, before lifting his head back up staring at her. "Momo, I'm sorry if you ever felt that way. I promise you," He reached out across the table, placing his hand over hers, their fingers slowly interlinked like the day they started this, "What we have is real, and it doesn't matter to me that if we started it out as a lie. But Momo you can't be a replacement if you're the only one who has made me feel this way. You're the reason I want to be a better person and I never felt that with Yui."

Her onyx orbs quivered as her lips parted. "Oh, Izuku... I'm-," Her voice choking up and halting with a sniffle. Her pale cheeks had a blossom of affection. She gave him a big toothy smile, closing her raindrop eyes with a splash.

Izuku's enamored emerald eyes captured the picture, internalizing the moment in his thoughts forever.

He took a breath and squeezed her hand, he forced his orbs to harden as he spoke. "But that's why I'm going overseas with Eri..."

"...Pardon?"

The sun had set leaving the lingering light on the clouds as day faded to night.

"At the hospital, the conversation I had with Aizawa-sensei, it had to do with going with Eri as she masters her quirk to help get back One-for-All. When I first lost my quirk he told me about that option but I couldn't do it... But now, because of you-"

"Because of me? I-Izuku what are you talking about, h-how can this even-, how can you suddenly tell me that you're walking away from my life. N-No!" Her voice went from confusion to denial and finally to hurt as she stood up, breaking her hand away from his.

He stood up too, both staring at each other from across the study table where it all began.

"But I'm not walking away, I'm doing this so when I come back-"

"Oh, when you come back. That's what my parents always said. Don't worry dear, we'll have that picnic when we come back or, I'm sorry sweetie I promise we'll be there for your next birthday." She mimicked her parents' words with buried pain. "They kept saying they'd come back until eventually they stopped and never did..."

"Momo..."

"And now you're going to do the same thing! You're leaving me, like everyone else. My parents, Todoroki walked out on me, Jirou absolutely refuses to speak to me now, I gave up my friendship with Tenya for you, and you're just..! How could you think any of this is okay?!"

"I can't just keep staying like this. I can't keep feeling bad about my situation while not taking the opportunity to fix it."

She walked around the table, reaching him, placing her hands on his chest. "But why does it have to be like this?! You don't need your quirk back. You can stay here with me and we can be so happy together. You don't need a quirk for that..." Her voice cracked as the future she had envisioned for them began to crumble away.

"I'm so tired of this hopeless feeling that keeps drowning me."

"But you're not hopeless!" She buried her face in the fabric of his shirt as tears followed her sniffles.

"I know, I realized it when I was fighting Overhaul... I didn't care that I didn't have a quirk, I was just determined to make sure Overhaul didn't go after Eri. And now even Aizawa-sensei thinks... If I don't go now I don't know if I'll ever have another chance to get my hero license. Please try to understand Momo."

She pushed off his chest, shoving him back a bit, she turned and walked to a railing on the platform. "This is too much, after everything..." She took a raspy breath as liquid fell off the railing hitting the floor below. She turned back to him with her arms crossed under her bust. Her eyes were bloodshot but she had a scowl, walking to him as she talked. "Why couldn't you have just gone two years ago, before any of this happened! Why Izuku, tell me why I have to lose you, when instead I could have never even blinked twice at the mention of you. I actually think I would have preferred the other option." She had stopped walking, standing in front of him, and she was glaring with her fractured eyes.

"You don't mean that..." He had parted lips before he closed them and matched her stare down without being aggressive. "Two years ago I was in a bad place. I was scared, what if Eri rewound too far to the point where we lost One-for-all completely, what if I was never meant to be a hero. All the hard work I invested was simply to save a little girl... Do you know how horrible I feel that I actually used to think like that. I was in a pit that I could never crawl out of. No matter how hard everyone around me tried to pull me out, it never worked... but then you reached out without even knowing it and... Momo, I-, I lo-"

She had reached out and cupped his face, tackling into his lips with her own, interrupting him with all the emotion she had. Their lips mashed together as she roughly moved them up and down. She was pulling him as close to her as she could, not wanting to part until they had to. She dropped her head, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Lie to me..."

"What? Momo."

"Tell me you're not leaving."

"But I can't just-"

"Please... I just want one more night where I can pretend that I'm not alone." She had lifted her face up to him.

And she was smiling. It was the smile that had captured him but now it crushed him because he knew he had broken it.

She didn't see the constellations in his eyes anymore. Their nights, where they illuminated only for her were being replaced with the shine for his approaching heroic days. The shine she initially said she missed was now a bittersweet reminder of what she was losing.

"Momo, I'm staying here with you, don't worry I'm not going anywhere..."

It was a lie she needed to hear. He told her in the study area where it all started. But she needed him to lie again. And he did on the bed where they consummated their affair. She needed another a lie, she craved it. The moonlight lighted the lie he continued to tell her but the stars weren't there.

Her eyes were liquid glass that I was scared were going to shatter but still, they looked so beautiful. My hands would trace over her soft pale moonlit skin that always felt like the cool breeze of autumn. Her lips were like tender petals I wanted to pluck as I kept abusing them. And her hair had the scattered serenity of departed cherry blossoms.

He was so gentle yet he continued to hold me with a rough embrace that I knew would protect me. I had unwrapped his bandages because I wanted to be with all of him. I buried my fingernails into his right bicep with a desperate grip because I wanted a mark of my own on his storied arm. And I couldn't help from saying his name with euphoric pleasure, clinging onto his body, as if to keep him from leaving.

And they continued to lie to each other until the sun began to rise, bringing the day that she wished could've never arrived.

I never said that I loved you